102

Six forty-five
Posted on October 28, 2020 by David M Willis

102 thoughts on “Six forty-five”

  1. Ana Chronistic

    cobbled together out of pocket protectors

    1. Regalli

      I was gonna say ‘pages from old retired textbooks turned into a papier mache thing,’ but that’s way better.

    2. Needfuldoer

      An oversized grail fashioned out of hockey pucks and femurs.

      1. anonymousethatscurriesinthedarkness

        Pucks for the base and femurs for the stem but what to use for the cup?
        No! No no no no! Do not go there! No!

        1. Needfuldoer

          Patellae. To think she’s been throwing them out all these years…

  2. Kyrik Michalowski

    See Ruth you do care, about making fun of people, if nothing else.

    Also where is our final person damnit? I need to know if it is Billie.

    1. Mydnyt

      That is a perfectly acceptable form of communication so long as it’s done without malice. Roughly 90% of my communication with everybody who knows me is generally making fun of each other

      1. clif

        Billie is unlikely to show up for the floor meeting as she doesn’t live here.

    2. Ana Chronistic

      You know it’s gonna be Booster’s twin

      1. Lars

        Why can’t it be both? Booster Billingsworth sounds correct to me.

        1. Morleuca

          Pretty sure that Walky would know them already, in that case.

        2. powerpowerpow

          Also, Booster doesn’t exactly look half Asian. Granted, they never said anything about having an identical twin, but yeah. Pretty share they’re not a Billingsworth.

          Could you imagine if both Billie and Walky had estranged twins though? That’d be hilarious.

        3. powerpowerpow

          I really need to figure out how to italicize things properly…

        4. Demoted Oblivious

          End it with , but with no spaces. Though it’ll be hillarious if the parser eats my comment.

        5. Demoted Oblivious

          *sigh* Yep. So
          less than, slash, i, greater than

        6. a/snow/mous/e

          hmm… \

        7. a/snow/mous/e

        8. a/snow/mous/e

          nope i can’t bypass the parser through any rudimentary shenanigans

    3. a/snow/mous/e

      billie and ethan traveled to the past and had a child and that’s the missing person

      1. a/snow/mous/e

        no obviously that doesn’t make sense because ethan’s gay

        1. a/snow/mous/e

          billie and ethan stepped into two sides of a teleportation machine and when they came out they were billiethan

  3. bcb

    Yes! I like going to class or seminars early in large part to pick my preferred seat. Or at least, I did, before classes and seminars were online.

    1. BBCC

      As soon as my class was over, I’d make a beeline for my next one and eat/do homework/hang around there. If there was another class in progress, I’d sit outside the door and do that. I didn’t live on campus so I had nothing else to do.

    2. abysswatcher1993

      I went early to reunions to sit and use the internet while everyone arrived.

    3. Needfuldoer

      Time is never on my side. If I try to be early, someone or something will inevitably require attention and make me late anyway.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        Are you from the same town as me? “We need to get there by 2:00 and home by 5:00, I have to sleep for work” turns into “Fuck, it’s 8:34pm CST and we’re just now heading home.”

  4. Wraithy2773

    Anyone that’s had to stand for an hour to get through a boring-ass meeting because they were one of the last ones there and no more chairs were available know the actual value of arriving early…

    1. Demoted Oblivious

      Any meeting without enough chairs isn’t worth attending. If they can’t find the space to let you sit, they also won’t have found a way to be concise. Also, if they can’t be bothered to give you a seat, they aren’t going to listen and if they aren’t listening, then it should just be written down and mailed/posted.

  5. BBCC

    Look, just buy her a three ring binder or a notebook, she’ll accept that.

    1. Needfuldoer

      Dorothy would appreciate something functional over a purely ornamental doohickey.

      1. Sunny

        What about a Monkey Master figure on a hockey puck that says “NEEEERD!” when you touch it?

  6. TheKelliestKelly

    The missing person is going to be at this floor meeting. I feel it in my bones. I hope it’s Bille

    1. Kyrik Michalowski

      I hope so, but Billie is in a different dorm now so it is unlikely she’ll be at this floor meeting.

    2. UnfrozenNeanderthal

      Watch it be like Guns or something else completely out of the blue

  7. UnfrozenNeanderthal

    Alternatively the best chair for sleeping through all the learning

  8. leaf

    Tf does she think she’s going to learn?

    1. Keulen

      I never really learned much at floor meetings when I was in college. Though that may be because I avoided most of them.

      1. Jamie

        I think I went to one? I’m not entirely sure.

    2. Rabid Rabbit

      I’m assuming this is “the best chair for all the learning I’m going to be doing in the 15 minutes waiting for the meeting to start, and maybe also when you’re talking to us, though I’ll be writing an essay at the same time.”

    3. Demoted Oblivious

      Here, maybe nothing, but when a good habit is in force, it tends to be somewhat indiscriminate.

  9. Regalli

    Wonder what game the Switch in there’s set to. The purple and orange joycons are my favorite normally-sold color set. (The Animal Crossing ones beat them out, though. That Switch is a thing of beauty.)

    1. Needfuldoer

      Assuming it’s for the common room (not somebody’s personal property they left there), it’s probably got a few quick pick-up games like Super Smash Bros and Mario Kart loaded.

      1. Regalli

        Overcooked would probably be a fun kind of Utter Chaos, too.

  10. Newllend(henryvolt)

    I can understand it being better to be early than late, but her reasons on being so is the nerdiest I’ve ever heard.

    1. abysswatcher1993

      Dotty is a good bean. Everyone else in that dorm and this comment section is just mean.

      1. abysswatcher1993

        Dina is an exception though. She is a good bean too.

        1. Sirksome

          I wonder where Dorothy falls on the DoA morality scale. If one extreme is Blaine I’d say Dorothy is the at the exact opposite end edging out your Dina’s and your Joyce’s in good beanie-ness. I mean Dorothy volunteers in her spare time. Arguably to diversify her academic portfolio but it’s still volunteering.

        2. clif

          Dina is intrinsically a good bean. Dorothy works really hard at being a good bean. Amber is an amazingly good bean, albeit for twisted and self destructive reasons. Danny would like to be a good bean. Mike is dead and so is no longer a bean.

        3. Ray Radlein

          Like a bean he is planted in the ground

        4. Needfuldoer

          He’s a has-bean.

        5. Proxiehunter

          If Becky we’re here she would never pass up the chance to inform us that she’s a lez bean. That seems like a joke she’d make.

        6. Poskie

          Additionally, Leslie is a Bean bean!

        7. AbelUndercity

          Sarah is a good bean despite herself.

  11. Stephen Bierce

    *looks for a suitable furniture commercial jingle in the found-sound library*
    *Wayfair seems to be on top of the list for the moment*

  12. Keulen

    So I guess Ruth isn’t gonna go looking for the people on her floor to drag them to the floor meeting then.

    1. Sirksome

      New year, new semester, new slightly more adjusted Ruth who maybe realizes how problematic some of her old behaviors were now that’s she’s not in a drunken depression spiral.

      1. clif

        Sure. Let’s go with that.

  13. StClair

    “With respect, I disagree!”

  14. Rainhat

    Kinda no winning with her, is there?

  15. Sirksome

    “Maximized learning.” Look I don’t really do the whole I imagine x character sounds like this, but that is the most Twilight Sparkle line. Dorothy definitely sounds like that pony and she has the purple notepad to prove it.

    1. Robbie

      I can’t unhear it now, but I’m not mad!

  16. Reltzik

    Dorothy, if you’d just closed your mouth after “best chair” then Ruth might have actually respected your earliness.

    … sorta. kinda. Halfway.

    1. abysswatcher1993

      Ruth has no respect for other people, not even those she bangs.

    2. drs

      Or she’s trolling Ruth.

  17. abysswatcher1993

    Dorothy having a trophy means she has more prizes than the Maple Lefs OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    1. drs

      “Go away, Billie.”

    2. FacelessDeviant

      Hockey based taunts, one of the few things that can get to both Canadians and Swedes.

  18. Kitschensyngk

    I call it “femur insurance.”

  19. Yotomoe

    Hope today she’s wearing her bully-proof underwear.

    1. clif

      Now I’m wondering what bully-proof underwear would look like.

      1. Delicious Taffy

        It’s just regular underwear, but with the sound chip from one of those novelty parrot toys, the ones that repeat what you say at them but higher-pitched.

      2. Deanatay

        Wedgie-proof, mostly.

      3. Bogeywoman

        The crotch has been partly cut through so they break upon attempts to wedgie.

    2. Needfuldoer

      Bully-proof windows, troll-safe doors?

  20. Geneseepaws

    First panel: quarter til’ a freckle.

  21. BenRG

    This is ultra in-character for Dorothy and I think that Ruth realises this! All I can add is a reminder: “That’s ‘Madame President Nerd’ to you, Ms Lessick!”

  22. Ray Radlein

    “Hello everyone. Please try not to get kidnapped and/or murdered this semester, because it is a fucking pain in the ass for everyone, but mainly for me. The end.”

    1. Demoted Oblivious

      So much paperwork. So many forms.

  23. Juanoku

    Goddamn I’m a sucker for concerned softie Ruth

    1. Needfuldoer

      Yup.

  24. Jordan

    Dorothy why do you sound like a caricature of yourself right now?

    1. BenRG

      She just needs to be her sometimes. It’s a rest from when she’s not being mildly subversive in a generally non-significant way with Joyce.

  25. BenRG

    Two possibilities for the meeting subject:

    1) The college is setting up a formal memorial for Mike and want suggestions from his friends and dorm-mates on what it should be (drama for Danny and Amber);

    2) Ruth wants to formally introduce the new two residents, Booster and the Masturbate Indoors girl. She also wants to make sure that Billie and Ethan being withdrawn from the college hasn’t upset anyone as much as Billie being withdrawn has upset her.

    1. Fire_Daws

      Ruth’s not the RA to the boys dorm (as much as the comic sometimes suggests that). This is going to be somewhat like the meeting that they had before at the start of the Fall semester.

      1. BenRG

        Sorry, thought I posted this before: Walky implied strongly that the boys’ RA doesn’t do his job much, so Ruth may take it upon herself to do that for him.

  26. Bagge

    Silly Ruth, Dorothy can win at anything!

  27. hof1991

    True fact. The large clock at Lambeau Field is fifteen minutes fast. It’s set to Lombardi time. Locals totally used to it.

    1. Rabid Rabbit

      The large clock near Waverley Station is Edinburgh is a few minutes fast, deliberately so that people won’t miss their trains.

    2. BenRG

      The British Royal Family spent 35 years being 30 minutes faster than the rest of the UK because King Edward VII had all the clocks changed in royal castles and palaces on a whim. No-one knows why.

  28. Deanatay

    To quote Dave: HA! NERRRRD.

  29. Zaxares

    It IS always good to arrive early. If nothing else, it also gives you leeway for when unexpected problems crop up and delay your travel. 😉

  30. Arianod

    You fool. Being the biggest nerd IS the prize.

    1. Bagge

      Dorothy is the prize

      at least from where Joyce is standing.

  31. Jhon

    I’m very glad it wasn’t five forty-five.
    (Be glad if you didn’t get that.)

    Be sure to VOTE!

    1. Delicious Taffy

      Let’s see, do I wanna vote for the Republican candidate, proven to be basically a cartoon villain and most likely aiming for a dictatorship? Or do I wanna vote for the Democrat, who’s just gonna bend over backwards and give the other guy exactly what he wants anyway, because he has no spine or integrity?

      Lotta good options this year, honest… May as well go for the least terrible.

      1. BBCC

        Biden’s policy platform is pretty good. Some shit for sure, but he’s got a lot of good and important work in it (like fixing the social security system so disabled folks can get married without losing the benefits they rely on, improving on the ACA, ending separations at the border, and …y’know, NOT trying to undermine Roe or Obgerfell (spelling?))

        1. thejeff

          Meanwhile Trump is actively trying to kill us all.

          Yeah, I am so done with the false equivalencies. Biden is certainly going to disappoint me and piss me off from time to time, but it won’t be a constant deluge and he won’t be actively destroying the country, so I’m looking forward to it.

          There’s going to be a lot of work to do. Let’s get Democrats solid control of the Senate, so they can actually get more of it done.

      2. Ornithophobix

        I say this as a non-citizen immigrant: if enough people don’t vote for the uninspiring other guy, people like me will get kicked out of this country in the very near future.

        I understand that this is a frustrating choice for Americans, but it will have life-changing effects on people who get no say in the matter.

  32. Sombrero

    Mike said: “Bean me up into your mom, Scotty!” And he dissapeared.

    Er… I’ll take myself out, thanks.

    1. Sombrero

      As Karma would have it, this (typos and all) was meant as a reply to Needfuldoer a lot of comments above.

  33. DarkoNeko

    most comfy chair GET

  34. MaximumZero

    She’ll fashion you a trophy, but it’s gonna cost you your shoes.

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