169

Hero
Posted on January 5, 2012 by David M Willis

169 thoughts on “Hero”

  1. Jen Aside

    HAHA XD

  2. SUTBEric

    No Billie.

  3. Plasma Mongoose

    ZZZZZT! WRONG!

    1. Aizat

      *Insert Kevin Spacy “WRONG!” here*

      1. darcos0

        “c’mon, lemme hear you say it, just once….”

        1. Aizat

          You’re insane!

        2. dchorror

          “No, the other one.”

        3. Aizat

          Superman will never

        4. Lord Synick XXIII

          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRVUOGUmxJI

        5. Darksen

          I see I’m not needed here.

        6. Tucker

          “Somebody shit on the coats.”

        7. Blob Marley

          You don’t wanna be the bearer of bad news. “I think someone shit on the coats. I think somebody might have shit on or around the coats.”

    2. Aizat

      ZZZZT! Nope, nope, nope. I’ve seen Sal, she look’s more like Batman. Not as cute as Amazi-Girl.

  4. brasca1

    No Billie. She’s Spider-car.

    1. Ben

      I’m glad SOMEONE realizes this.

      1. turkishproverb

        Ok, that image makes that perfect.

        1. turkishproverb

          Just not quite as perfect as your mom was.

          For a nickel.

  5. TaZZerath

    Basically Batman, but a girl….
    …. Batgirl??

    1. AckAckAck(Now with sugar powered speedster!)

      Batvirgin?

      1. Kintrex

        Do you really think Sal is a virgin?

        1. Blob Marley

          Depends on if you count scissoring.

        2. Blob Marley

          This avatar makes that comment look much less snarky and much more sexy/mischievous.

        3. what's in a name

          Why wouldn’t you? :\

        4. AckAckAck(Now with sugar powered speedster!)

          With that kind of attitude, I don’t think there’s any high school boy can get their weewee into her waawaa.

        5. DarkVeghetta

          Don’t think she hung around highschool boys.

  6. Brendan

    Billie, it’s 2012. You should know by now that colorblindness is not a virtue.

    Although… reporter… superhero… there’s tradition there.

    1. Kryss LaBryn

      Not to mention the hair’s all wrong.

      Sure, I suppose Sal could be wearing a wig (but that seems unlikely; easy to find out though, although problematic if you yank on Sal’s hair and you’re wrong– haha, problematic if you’re right too). Amazi-Girl could be wearing a wig with long hair stuffed up underneath it, but that’s hard enough to do (especially if your hair is as full as Sal’s; mine isn’t although it’s a bit longer and yeah, not easy) that it’s a bit obvious what you’re doing. Also it makes quick changes right out.

      So… Yeah. Investigative reporter skills need a bit of an improvement on the observation front, eh?

      1. Brady Kj

        While I don’t think Billie would remember Amazi-Girl very well, it is possible that Amazi-Girl is a shape-shifter.

  7. Xartarin

    MOST SHOCKING TWIST YET

  8. Plasma Mongoose

    Amazi-Girl is many things but she isn’t Batman, thus not Sal.

    1. Aizat

      Yeah, Amazi-Girl is more of a cape than a cowl.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        She (Amazi-Girl) is more like Robin.

        1. AckAckAck(Now with sugar powered speedster!)

          Nah, she’s more like Spoiler.

        2. Daibhid C

          If only you could tell me who she’s more like without ruining the ending for me…

        3. Blob Marley

          She’s like Snape Kills Dumbledore.

          Whoops, ruined it didn’t I?

        4. Usayasha

          Not enough for me not to continue.
          Because she’s TOTES like Rosebud.

        5. Lordphulish

          Nah, she’s totally Aeris dies.

        6. Blob Marley

          She’s like Bruce Willis Is Dead The Whole Time.

        7. AckAckAck(Now with sugar powered speedster!)

          She’s uh…. I don’t think DC superhero Spoiler is well known around here. She’s a teenager superhero and used to work together with Robin.

          And she’s pregnant, not Robin’s though.

  9. Darth Shadow

    http://youtu.be/X8u7px_GzWQ

    1. Rikushadow5

      This logic is infallible.

  10. Black Bumblebee

    LOL… well played with the flashbacks, man… well played…

  11. Darth Cariss

    It kind of makes sense if you’re a blind person… Unless of course Sal is just REALLY good at disguises.

    1. begbert2

      This seems like a storyline that sounded brilliant in the planning stages until the inevitable exchange:

      “…but what about that totally obvious problem?”
      “…um… screw it, it’s too fun an idea not to use.”

  12. Wack'd

    The first time she saw Amazi-Girl was only from above and behind. The second time she was drunk and probably doesn’t remember it clearly. So race doesn’t much enter into it. I mean, Sal could’ve died her hair lighter brown. And be wearing extensions or a wig or something. Bit of a stretch…

    …but the completely different body types should be a tip-off.

    The only explanation I can think of is that, Billie being as self-involved as she is, couldn’t be bothered to retain what little visual info she had on that geek in the costume.

    1. Aizat

      The accent?

      1. SlenderTroll

        Batman’s accent is different than Wayne’s. Accents are pretty easy to fake if you have a good coach.

        1. invisiblemoose

          Check out the Amazi-Girl comics and imagine they’re being said by Christian Bale doing his Batman voice.

          You’re welcome.

        2. Aizat

          No thanks, I imagined it being said by Kevin Conroy.

        3. Osaru Sensei

          I am VENGEANCE, I am the NIGHT… I am…

          MARTIAN MANHUNTER BATMAN!

        4. Blob Marley

          Bacon > Conroy > Costner.

          These are FACTS. They are TRUE. Therefore, you may call them TRUFAX.

      2. AckAckAck(Now with sugar powered speedster!)

        Nah, Bruce Wayne is like “Oh hi there my good fellow!” while Batman is like “rhhagh urgh grrah rrgh grrrh hockey pad.”

  13. bwernard

    Oh man! How come we didnt see this coming, the signs were all there! It all fits so well!

    1. Osaru Sensei

      It’s all connected…

      1. Historyman68

        I just saw that episode! Apparently Gail Simone wrote it. Good stuff. Touching.

    2. AckAckAck(Now with sugar powered speedster!)

      http://troll.me/images/ancient-aliens-guy/im-not-saying-it-was-aliens-but-it-was-aliens.jpg

  14. Mkvenner

    Swing and a miss.

  15. Dream State's Author

    It’s actually fairly logical. We just all as readers can see the obvious problems with it since we know the truth from the outside continuity.

    1. Stevie Windup

      It’s obvoius to me, and I don’t know anything about the outside continuity.

      1. Stevie Windup

        Yay, I got Joyce!

        1. Khrene Cleaver

          Well we also got to see other stuff, like Amazi-girl dissapear and reappear as her alter ego, not to mention her face when not behind heavy beer goggles

        2. Khrene Cleaver

          Oh wait she has seen her head on. DAMN YOU SELECTIVE MEMORY!

        3. Historyman68

          I always view DoA from behind heavy beer goggles.

  16. lawzlo

    No, no, Ultra-Car is Amazi-Girl.

    …Unless…

    What if Sal is Ultra-Car in disguise? Quick, feel her for tires…

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      You’re not suggesting that Sal is fat are you?

      1. LauraS

        Show of hands, who doesn’t want to see Billie feel up Sal?

        1. Kam

          *Removes everyones hands to prevent raising*

          Hey look, No hands! Let the groping commence.

        2. Zanosuke_Kurosaki

          Hey now – yer fantasies ain’t worth mutilatin’ lots of people over, nice try. =P (Also, go read It’s Walky if you want to see them wrestle that badly.)

        3. icepyrox

          Why did you everybody’s hands? I think you could have gotten a majority vote without any mutilation.

        4. Blob Marley

          I accidentally at least 100 hands. Is this bad?

        5. Usayasha

          You’ve razed everyone’s hands, now it will NEVER happen!
          Nice Job Breaking It, Hero.

  17. Beachfox

    Well, there’s no reason Sal -couldn’t- be Amazigirl in this continuity! There isn’t an evil alien conspiracy around, after all. That bloke in a bowtie probably isn’t from an alternate reality.

    It -could- work. From an in-universe standpoint, it makes much more logical sense…

    1. Tucker

      Computer says…no.

    2. Tucker

      Computer says…no.

      *fixed*

    3. f.p.

      No evil alien conspiracy? That’s what the evil alien conspiracy *wants* you to think!

  18. Aizat

    Umm…. Billie, you do know that Amazi-Girl doesn’t have an accent and is a short haired brunette, right?

    1. SlenderTroll

      Wigs and a good accent coach can fix that.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Afterall that what Supergirl did in that movie back in the 80s.

        1. Aizat

          There’s a Supergirl movie?

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          YES there was a Supergirl movie.

          http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088206/

        3. Aizat

          So does exists. I thought the Nostalgia Critic made it up.

      2. Aizat

        Sal’s hair is a bit too much to stuff under a wig cap.

        1. dchorror

          I think they’re suggesting that Sal’s hair is the wig.

        2. 2-5-9

          I do cosplay and I used to have long hair. I actually think it was easier when I had long hair, as I used the technique described at http://andsewingishalfthebattle.com/tutorials/84-long-real-hair-and-short-wigs-a-tutorial 🙂

  19. Cherry

    It’s going to be so awkward now when Billie tries to give Amazi-Girl one of those upside down Spider-Man kisses.

    1. Undrave

      Nah. The bunk beds make it easier.

  20. iSaidCandleja-

    Too bad Billie stopped Sal from getting to the window. I would have liked to see her detective skills as she tries to track down her superhero roommate.

  21. Ravux

    Watch the Amazi-Girl=Ultra-Car=?Sal? jokes >i<goooooooo! Oh wait, too late, it’s already happened.

    1. f.p.

      Is Spider-Car gay? In the faaaaaaaace? For a nickel?

  22. Dizzy

    What a twist!

    1. Blob Marley

      1. Blob Marley

        Well, that’ll teach me to try html tagging.

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdhhQhqi_AE

  23. Dahlia

    Oh Billie. *facepalm*

    Someday you’ll learn, Billie!

    …Someday.

    1. brasca1

      Aside from Sal’s long and abundant head of hair being too much to stuff under a wig cap there’s enough evidence to make Billie’s conclusion reasonable. It’s a question even Dorothy might’ve asked in her place.

      1. dchorror

        The different skin color and the fact that Billie had an extended conversation, as well as having been carried, doesn’t help, though.

      2. AckAckAck(Now with sugar powered speedster!)

        Unless that hair is also a wig.

        So I am suggesting that Sal is bald.

        Well, I’m not picky…..

  24. Dave McCoy

    Sal has too much boob to be amazigirl.
    Pfftt.

    1. AckAckAck(Now with sugar powered speedster!)

      Amazigirl has too much boob to be Sal.

      there FTFY.

  25. Chuck Testa

    Nope, Chuck Testa

    1. Aizat

      Are you implying that Amazi-Girl is dead?

  26. andrew

    has billy even seen amazigirl?

    1. Tucker

      Yes.

      *I keep breaking these links…*

      1. andrew

        ok then what makes her think sal is amazigirl? she is quite a bit taller

        1. Tucker

          Billie is silly.

  27. Crumplepunch

    Billie, you are the worst journalist since that dude from Batman.

    1. dchorror

      How so? Investigating a false lead is not bad journalism. Proving a lead is false is actually better than finding the right lead on the first go.

      She’d be a bad journalist if she didn’t investigate Sal after coming across clues that she may be tied to the story she’s been assigned.

  28. MichaelHaneline

    It would be AMAZING if this were somehow true, heh.

  29. Kernanator

    Billie… That’s like adding “2 + 2” and getting “Fish”.

    1. Zababcd

      You know you can do that, right?

      http://img842.imageshack.us/img842/2922/2plus2fish.png

      Of course, it’s not a real fish… but then again, Sal isn’t really Amazi-Girl (I assume), so the analogy is apt.

  30. Wonder Wig

    Sal must be a superhero if she’s wearing her underwear on the outside.

    1. dchorror

      Outside of what?

      1. Kam

        Her body, of course.

        1. dchorror

          I honestly hope no one is wearing their underwear on the inside of their body.

        2. f.p.

          It’s been done.

    2. AckAckAck(Now with sugar powered speedster!)

      You mean if she only wear her underwear right?

  31. DiDi

    Oh for effs sake!

    It’s just like the Sailor Moon effect! Obvious costume is obvious but no one can tell!! And then they go and suspect someone who couldn’t be further from it!

    Still funny, though.

    1. AlienCowThatMoos

      You know, I loved how they handled it in the Sailor Moon manga; the first time Tuxedo Mask spots her in civilian clothes he recognizes her immediately. She claims to not be a super hero. She’s not convincing.

      1. Roborat

        Oh come on, it wasn’t that hard to figure out, she is the only girl in Tokyo with long blond hair and meatballs, (speaking of which, looking at her parents, she must be adopted) and her school uniform is almost identical to the sailor scout uniform. Worst disguise ever.

        1. AckAckAck(Now with sugar powered speedster!)

          Anime anatomy lesson:

          Men and women of anime can have children with completely different hair colour.

          Oh man I wish we live in a world where people had more hair colour palette.

        2. Kernanator

          I think most of us would enjoy such a world.

  32. Futabakun

    Smooth! Very nice set-up, David. Looking forward to the spike!

    1. Kam

      <a href="http://images2.fanpop.com/image/photos/14600000/Team-Spike-spike-vs-edward-14620126-259-357.jpg&quot; Here you go.

      1. Tucker

        An unclosed tag is no tag at all!

      2. Historyman68

        Oh, and here I was thinking you meant the baby dragon.

  33. jjareds

    Called it, I knew it was Sal from the beginning.

  34. mechaqua

    yes of curse Sal is amazi girl if you shorter her by a couple inches change her skin and hair color shorten her hair change the voice and add a costume with a mask you she totally looks like amazi girl! Cue Picard http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNsrK6P9QvI.

    1. petsinwinter

      “curse?” OF COURSE!!!!! Amazi-Girl is Sal under a CURSE! It all makes sense now! your small typo helped me see the light, thank you!

      1. Zababcd

        Brilliant.

    2. Michelle J Caboose

      Cue Nostalgia Critic reaction.

  35. AckAckAck(Now with sugar powered speedster!)

    I played too much DCUO, but maybe I can create a character that look like Sal but with Power Girl style costume…..

    Or I create Captain Obvious, only one slot left!

    1. AJBulldis

      It is waaaay too tempting to make characters that look existing fictional characters. Incidentally I think Amazi-Girl would be very easy to create.

      1. AckAckAck(Now with sugar powered speedster!)

        Actually it’s kinda hard, DCUO female templates only had three setup:

        1) Tall-kinda tall-medium height and fit busty girl.

        2) Kinda tall-medium-almost medium height slim girl with big head.

        3) Medium-almost medium-loli short height skinny girl.

        And no “a bit pudgy girl” template. So yeah, it is easier to create Sal look alike.

  36. dmbgrunt

    Anyone notice, in all the joyous drooling over Billie’s error in panel 4, that Walky’s (er, “David’s”) tone “Our Hero” is in quote-marks, indicating SARCASM? apparently DoA Sal is potentially what, more volatile than Walkyverse Sal? How much trouble did she get into that had to be sealed?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Billie failed a sarcasm check.

      1. Blob Marley

        “I think we just failed a spot check.”

        “I don’t see anything.”

        “Exactly.”

  37. AJBulldis

    Sal is the hero Indiana deserves.

    1. HMRC4EVR

      That…could be taken a LOT of different ways AJ.

      You might want to clarify before the state rises up and demands satisfaction for the slight against it.

      1. begbert2

        You would prefer “Amazi-Girl is the hero Indiana deserves”?

      2. AJBulldis

        If the entire state is going to get upset over a harmless little joke, then I say “BRING IT ON”. I’m pretty tough, I’m sure I can take out a significant land mass and all the humans living on it.

  38. Lalala.

    Seeeeeriously?

  39. begbert2

    So…when was the last time Billie was sober?

    1. Kernanator

      My guess? Last year. In comic.

  40. Zem

    Meanwhile! Amber O’Malley, mild-mannered college student in a great Indiana campus, is enjoying a quiet morning drink!

    1. AckAckAck(Now with sugar powered speedster!)

      *spinning beer keg*

  41. Robert in San Diego

    In this continuity, Walky knows a lot more about his sister. And her propensity for getting into trouble. Yeah, she defused and walked away from a confrontation, but she was almost as ready as Ruth to escalate.

  42. Parnash

    No, no, that’s wrong. Sal can’t be Amazi-girl.
    She clearly uses a motorcycle. Car on Motorcycle action is just messy.

  43. Dr. Octopus

    Why is everyone so caught up in Billie’s mistake. Wasn’t she super drunk when Amazi-Girl showed up at the party?

    1. icepyrox

      Sure, but she was fairly sober, or at least had a nice adrenaline rush going when Amazi-girl stole her away from Ruth at the dorm meeting.

  44. NerdAtComputer

    My shipping-sense are tingling!

    I predict Walky.x.Ruth is on its way.
    (It would make NO SENSE, since they have nothing in common. But there is no such as “sense” in shipping. Moreover, this nonsense makes it even more interesting.)

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      What you are sensing is a ship-wreck waiting to happen.

  45. Kirt Dankmyer

    Okay, I’m very amused by this plot twist.

  46. Dragon Nataku

    Dear Walky, please drop that time-bomb you are holding in panel one as Ruth is more likely to break every single bone in your face than thank you for helping her up off the floor ^o__o^;;

    1. begbert2

      Technically we’ve never seen her go after anybody who didn’t first disrespect her athoritay, so he might be safe. (No, threatening femur removal does not technically count as going after somebody, as it was merely a warning – and a necessary one, since she does in fact react to resistance with force. And eternal unceasing harassment.)

  47. Robert

    *sigh*…billie you got it all wrong…super heroes were never the cool kids in school….

    1. begbert2

      Come on, surely at least one super hero was the cool kid in school. Like in X-men Evo Jean was obe for a while. (Does that show count?)

      1. Tucker

        Don’t feed the Troll.

        1. Robert

          I don’t have to take this kind of abuse from someone named “Tucker”. It’s not that I’m a pacifist, I just don’t want your disgusting DNA getting all over my shirt.

  48. Blob Marley

    Now kiss… UPSIDE DOWN!

    1. Fred

      Wrong superhero. That’s superman, you doodoohead.

      1. Blob Marley

        Hey, every superhero who has the ability to become upside down should kiss upside down at least once.

  49. thatgirlwiththeglasses

    So THAT’S why everyone thought Amazi-girl was Sal when she first appeared in DoA…because she WAS Sal! Great detective work, Billie! xD

  50. Opus the Poet

    For Walky: http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/jackalope/2012/01/pajama_jeans_for_men_an_exerci.php Pajama Jeans for Men

    Now he doesn’t have to live vicariously through women being comfortable, he can buy his own pajama jeans.

    1. AckAckAck(Now with sugar powered speedster!)

      I can be both manly AND comfortable. Good good.

    2. Blob Marley

      I found ’em first! 😛

      1. Opus the Poet

        Yeah, well I don’t read the comments on this comic that often. I just happened to see the link on a news article I was linking to my blog.

  51. Kelvin

    AHAHAHAHAH! XD That is priceless!

  52. Technyx

    Sal is my hero. I want all her babies

  53. ShadowDJ

    Skin is too dark and hair is too long, plus she is more muscular.

  54. BrokenEye, True False Prophet

    She doesn’t look like a car…

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