145

Transformers
Posted on June 1, 2012 by David M Willis

145 thoughts on “Transformers”

  1. Regalli

    Well. That almost got even more awkward than it could’ve been. *Gets the popcorn* TRAINWRECK TIME!

  2. SkepticJ

    Smooth, Ethan. Smooooooth!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      It worked didn’t it, so I think he’s in the clear.

      1. SkepticJ

        I wasn’t being facetious. That was some quick-on-his-feet thinking.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          To be fair, sarcasm isn’t always easy to spot with only text.

        2. SkepticJ

          True, that. Back on topic:

          While my lady friend and I share many of the same tastes, I have received the same “ehhh…” in panel three. In those cases, I wish I could change course as adeptly as Ethan does.

        3. L

          You don’t say? That’s bloody brilliant! In fact I wish more people would notice that.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          That’s why I either try to word it in such a way that it is almost certain to be seen as sarcastic or I use the 😛 or occasionly the 😀 emotes.

        5. Vex Godglove

          To be even more fair, I’ve often had people uncertain whether I was being sarcastic in real life.

        6. Kamino Neko

          Same. v_v

        7. Jackson

          Dude knows how to sell the sizzle.

  3. Plasma Mongoose

    Yes, Transformers is Veggie Tales but with space robots.

    1. Yotomoe

      When you put it like that…I really want to watch more Transformers

    2. Equuizzicals

      This makes me want Transformers to have a “Silly Songs with Starscream” segment.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Only if Soundwave gets to do bass.

        1. Yotomoe

          and all the songs will be about either how starscream is great or how megatron sucks…or both

        2. Björn

          How about “Megatron Sucks Starscream Rocks”? Also known as “the enemy scrotum”. (All puns intended.)

      2. Aidenn

        Look at the P38, he can’t dance. Poor P38! He wishes he could dance like the fighter-jet free and smooth, but he can’t…

        1. Leorale

          Just like Prowl, about to eat.

    3. Ancestral Hamster

      Hi, PM, who is your gravatar today?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Today’s grav is Shinobu from “A Certain Scientific Index”.

        1. Ancestral Hamster

          Thanks. Not familiar with that one, and barely familiar with its predecessor, “A Certain Magical Index.” Might have been able to recognize Kanzaki Kaori or Orianna Thompson if only because I think they’re hot. 😉

        2. Roborat

          Wow, was I off, I thought it was Wednesday from the Addams Family.

        3. Andiemus

          Isn’t it scientific railgun?

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Railgun is the spinoff of Index featuring Mikoto Misaka, the Electric Princess aka Railgun.

        5. Andiemus

          Yeah but I thought it was magical index and scientific railgun.

        6. Plasma Mongoose

          Ah shit… you’re right, looks like I had one of those damn senior moments.

    4. Regalli

      Giant Robot Veggie Tales.

      Okay, now I want all religious allegories to be taught with giant robots. For all the religions. Forever.

      1. Khrene Cleaver

        Giant Robot Jesus. Hmm I actually hadn’t heard of that one before

  4. Yotomoe

    He was a robot god. Of course when he transforms…he doesn’t get much cooler.

  5. Wonder Wig

    If transformers followed Joyce’s religion their motherboards might crash from the sheer amount of conflicting themes within.

    1. Yotomoe

      naw. just instead of Autobots and Decepticons you’d have Cathrobots and Hathantrons

      1. Wonder Wig

        Don’t forget Robanukah, the holiest two weeks on the robot calendar,

    2. Random Guy

      I think they would refer to that as a “fence posting error”. For us “it just don’t add up”.

  6. The Sound Defense

    Is that really such a concern for her?

    1. Mat

      I think it was more “eh, not really interested” but then he turned it around into something sure to catch her interest! Because God.

      1. Leorale

        It’s true. Gotta know your audience!

        1. Shade

          Exactly, it’s all in the marketing.

  7. Mkvenner

    Don’t stoop to her level ethan maintain some dignity.

    1. Yotomoe

      that ship is leaving the dock, man

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        More like dry-dock. 😀

      2. Kamino Neko

        That boat has LONG since sailed. The minute Ethan decided to climb back in the closet he gave up his dignity. v_v

        1. Leorale

          Sadly, this is true.

  8. Black Mammoth

    Technically speaking, they WERE intelligently designed by the Quintizons as slave labor, until they rose up against their alien overlords to gain their freedom.

    1. Zap Rowsdower

      G1 Cartoon continuity; everything that followed, they were created by Primus.

      1. David

        Even the cartoon itself was retconned to include Primus, with varying clunkiness.

        1. Brasca1

          Much like a lot of the things in the Bible and like the Bible there are people in fandom who will kill each other over the details so I think there is plenty of common ground for these two.

        2. Nick

          You could argue that combining the seven day creation and the Garden of Eden stories into one Genesis account is the original retcon.

        3. Patrick McGraw

          Documentary Hypothesis FTW!

        4. Bill M.

          Not necessarily, Nick. When one of their sons, post kick-out, had to worry about others killing him in retribution for killing his brother, unless there were other humans than his mom and dad, he didn’t have to worry. So basically, Genesis 1 is where everything gets made, Genesis 2 is where the divine genealogy starts because research has shown the evolutionary ancestry began in Africa, while the rivers mentioned put Eden somewhere in modern-day Iraq, Syria, or Turkey, based on how you interpret the Hebrew renaming of the rivers Pishon and Gihon.

        5. Ancestral Hamster

          That’s a very asute observation! Bravo!

        6. Shade

          Isn’t that where the term “canon” came from too?

      2. sun tzu

        I might be the only person in the world who prefers the quintesson origin to the Primus origin. ^^’

        1. Cybersnark

          No, I prefer the sci-fi Quintessons over the high-fantasy Primus origin too.

          Real Robot > Super Robot.

        2. HeatPhoenix

          Real Robot always > Super Robot
          Gundam > Transformers

        3. Andiemus

          Boo-ya! The fact that I just quoted another cartoon robot was unintentional.

        4. DragoonChris

          They seem to be more like Super Robot’s since they are full of Burning Justice!!!

    2. Jetstream

      OR! By Primus as a first and last line of defense against Unicron!

      It works in all continuities!

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      So who gets to be Satan then?

      1. Kernanator

        Unicron. Or the Fallen. Either one.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Unicron I recall, the Fallen, not so much.

        2. Kernanator

          Yeah, he was fairly obscure and mostly kept in the backstory and side materials. At least until Michael Bay decided to bring him/it into his second movie.

        3. David

          The Fallen is Judas!

        4. Undrave

          Isn’t the fallen more like Lucifer, the fallen angel?

        5. David

          Depends on how you look at it. The Transformers mythology isn’t one-to-one with Christian theology, what with Primus and Unicron being brothers. That’s not a relationship God-the-Father and Satan have. But when you consider that both were created by The One, who is even higher up on the chain, possibly making Primus into Jesus-The-Son, and Unicron who rebelled against The Father, that kind of pushes the Original 13 into The Disciples territory. And that perspective makes him feel more like Judas than Satan, because Unicron is already the fallen angel.

        6. Patrick McGraw

          I thought it was more like Primus is Ahura Mazda and Unicron is Angra Mainyu.

        7. begbert2

          Except that Optimus Prime is *obviously* Jesus. Not that that meshes well with any of the rest of it…

        8. das-g

          Blasphemy! Optimus Prime is Aslan!

        9. DragoonChris

          If the Fallen is Judas, who is Liege Maximo suppose to be?

        10. David

          Thomas, duh!

        11. Plasma Mongoose

          I was going to say that Starscream was Judas, but that would make Megatron Jesus, thus making that particular analogy really twisted even if true in a bizarro way.

        12. StClair

          “One of you will betray me thirty-seven times. This evening.”

  9. Faeyas

    In early today!~

    Also, really Joyce? did he need to add all that? >< this will be a long "Pop culture" intro if they all will be like this…long and confusing :s

    1. Kensou

      Seriously. It took Joyce YEARS to change in the old continuity, at the pace Dumbing of Age moves, Willis might die or something before she gets to be a senior and presumably more adjusted!

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        We all will get the seniors before she does, senior citizens that is.

  10. Angelicfiend

    Ethan, you are, and always will be my favorite…also you made me want to write a paper on the religious idea present in transformers… *the problems of being an athiest religion major*

    1. David

      That doesn’t sound like a problem at all! If it were, Lord, I’d love to have it.

    2. Leorale

      Nopers, there are plenty of atheist Religion majors. It’s actually harder to find a devout one.

    3. Raen

      Wait, there are religion majors who AREN’T atheists?

    4. Shade

      If anything it’s a boon because it allows you to examine the subject matter critically and with less bias.

      I know why I’m an athiest, because I actually learned about it.

  11. Spammy McSpamster

    Ethan is still weirding me out here.
    Is he drawn a bit differently? He seems like a creepy old dude trying to seduce a young girl.
    Seducing her into watching cartoons and not sex, obviously. But it’s still a creepy seduction.

    and I never thought of him as an old dude before.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      At least he doesn’t have the gray near his sideburns.

    2. TheBenenator

      in@sametimeas “Ethan is gay”.

    3. Historyman68

      He is surprisingly tall for his age. And gay & acting like he’s trying to seduce her despite not knowing how and not really wanting to either. So that probably accounts for at least some of the “uncomfortable seduction” vibe.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        For his age, a lot of people reach their adult height before they reach 18, hell, I reach my adult height of 5’10” by the time I was 14.

  12. Thor

    Isn’t Ethan a little young to give a rat’s ass about Transformers?

    I mean, the movies, I could understand, but the show? If we assume that Ethan is 18ish here, then the 2nd Generation series would have ended about the time he was conceived.

    Yeah, yeah, I know that DoA is all timey-wimey, but I have yet to see any of the characters reading Bloom County or dancing the Charleston either.

    1. David

      “The” show? Dude, there are dozens, and they’ve been airing nonstop for 30 years.

      1. Thor

        Really? Then Wikipedia failed me.

        1. Kaixa

          I’ve been watching G1 since I was like 3 or 4 through VHS rentals and repeats on Sci-fi. Ethan probably had a chance to start with the G1 cartoon.

        2. David

          At this very moment, with it being 2012 and Ethan being 18, that means he was born in 1994. Beast Wars aired from 1995-1999, Beast Machines from 2000-2001, Robots in Disguise from 2001-2002, Armada from 2002-2003, Energon from 2003-2004, Cybertron from 2004-2005, the first live-action movie in 2007, Animated from 2007-2009, the second movie in 2009, the third in 2011, and now Prime is airing.

          When I was in college, Beast Wars was current. For Ethan, it’s probably something he caught in reruns on Fox as a child. …until eventually, as he doesn’t grow up as fast as the real world does, and he saw a different Transformers series as a child. But he’d probably have seen it all on DVD/Netflix anyway. Fans do that.

        3. TheBenenator

          Beast Machines never happened. >8~(

          It is not a thing that ever started existing.

          That’s my headcanon, and despite the awesome hypothetical floating Megatron head notwithstanding I’m sticking to it.

        4. HeatPhoenix

          Oh my god yes I loved Beast Wars.

        5. kyojikasshu

          My oldest nephew was born exactly one week after “The Agenda, Part I” made its debut as part of Beast Wars Week on Toonami. By age 7 he was well-versed in both G1 and Beast Wars, and he’s since gone on to enjoy Animated and Prime. His main exposure to RiD and the Unicron Trilogy has been through the toys.

          So, yeah, kids can definitely make up for lost time these days.

        6. ryan

          and on top of that, he could have always bought the G1 dvds after becoming a fan of the franchise. or, rather than just blindly buying the dvds, he could have seen it on the hub. the G1 cartoon has been on the hub since day 1, so he’s had plenty of time to catch the full series.

      2. SHAZAM

        Ethan would have to have born around the same time as me and I watched Armada. I could probably have watched Beast Machines and RiD if I had proper television.

    2. Andiemus

      …. I was born in 91 and read bloom county religiously.

    3. narmenduke

      I’m not trying to start anything here, but I was born in 1989, making me pretty solidly a child of the 90s, and still read Bloom County. And some of my favorite movies are Major League and Beverly Hills Cop. So yeah, it happens.

    4. morgang1994

      Timey-Wimey? Are you a whovian?!

    5. wererat

      dude, i was raised on G1 transformers and i’m 17.

  13. TC Internet

    At first I thought Ethan was saying “girlfucker” with the dashes, but then I figured it out.

    Hooray for being tired.

    1. David

      Great, now I can’t see anything else!

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Score one for the Internet! 😀

      2. David

        Okay, it’s retooled for clarity.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          I understand why you did it, but it’s a shame non-the-less.

    2. Kernanator

      Dammit, now I see it.

    3. Andrusi

      Presumably, Ethan’s girlfucker is Mike.

  14. John Madden

    That’s an interesting way of describing Transformers.

  15. Thor

    So after he warms her up with some giant robots, he’s going to break out the South Park, right?

    1. Yotomoe

      woah now…That might make her head explode…at least have a simpsons-futurama- family guy sequence in between to work her up to that

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      I somehow doubt Joyce would like South Park’s idea of God.

      1. Cheredarenee

        I know, right? the Imagination Land arc is gold!

        1. Andiemus

          Or the giant… Bhuddist….. Hippo…. Thing.

        2. lordphulish

          Or the Super Best Friends!

        3. Andiemus

          Was god in super best friends? Jesus and Muhammed and Moses were
          But I don’t remember god being there.

        4. Narf

          He was not – the super best friends were Jesus, Moses, Buddha, Joseph Smith, Muhammad and Krishna… I believe that’s it, at least. Oh! And who could forget Seaman (that’s SEA… MAN!) and Swallow.

  16. Uniqueantique

    It doesn’t matter what the subject is, throw a little religion on it, and you have Joyce’s undivided attention.
    I am a bit confused though. The gray hair at Ethans temples is gone? So is he getting younger again?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      SP! Ethan is in his 30s, DoA’s Ethan on the other hand, is only about 18.

  17. Uniqueantique

    or wait, thats in Short Packed?

    1. TheBenenator

      Shortpacked!

  18. Kernanator

    I have to admit, this is probably the best explanation of Transformers I’ve ever heard.

  19. the precious thing

    This is so surreal. I know they’ve always coexisted in the Walkyverse as well as here, but seeing them side-by-side like this… I feel like I’m reading a crossover special.

  20. DT

    Transformers: They’re pro-creationism!

  21. Krashthemystro

    Baby steps. You know this might actually end up bettering both parties.

  22. Raen

    “God, Jetfire doesn’t believe in you.”

    1. Raen

      Wait… goddammit, I just remembered where I was.

      1. Ziaheart

        Don’t cross the streams!

  23. Maycroft

    Ethan know how to sell it.

  24. narmenduke

    Is he talking about Amber when he starts to say “girlfriend?”

    1. Verielle

      Most likely.

  25. Wack'd

    “Well, as it turns out, cars and trucks that turn into robots aren’t really that blasphemous. Because my pastor says that machines can turn into other machines and it’s not a slight against God. … Since God created man, and man created the Transformers, the Transformers are like a gift from God!”

    1. ryan

      man did not create transformers, they created themselves!

      http://tfwiki.net/w2/images2/f/f1/Pulleys.jpg

  26. begbert2

    I hope he’s not starting her with G1. I mean, I like the show, but that’s with *HEAVY* nostalgia filters installed. Objectively, it doesn’t really hold up, at least not in a way that could convert outsiders into new fans with any reliability.

  27. ziggy78eog

    I would say that was silly, but if I remember my continuity, that is how things begin for Transformers.

  28. Tifanimi

    I’m really uncomfortable with this storyline. The fact of the matter is Ethan is with Joyce right now under ulterior motives and trying to make her his new beard. He could probably get away with it for awhile too since Joyce wouldn’t really expect anything physical until marriage anyway. I understand that he’s lonely and in a difficult position but that doesn’t change the sliminess of what he’s doing. I’m sure it will all work out though in the end…hopefully? I am wondering what Joyce’s reaction will be when she finds out about Ethan being gay. Since by the time that happens she’ll probably have gotten to know him more maybe she’ll just wish him into the same less bad hell as Dorothy?

    As for Transformers I might have had the same reaction as Joyce. It’ll be nice though when Joyce finally develops some interests outside of “Jesus!” You can be religious and still be a well rounded human being.

    1. Jackson

      I’m not feeling as uncomfortable here as I was when Ryan was trying to get Joyce alone at the party, but it’s definitely a little oogy to me too. Depending on how long Ethan lets this go on, the situation could get quite messy indeed.

    2. AJBulldis

      I don’t find it uncomfortable so much as just sad. Because this entire farce will fall apart, and everyone involved will be mortified and such.

  29. Arkadi

    I instantly fell for Joyce’s ‘Oooo’ face XD

  30. Khrene Cleaver

    So, about 10 days ago I posted very misogynistic and racially/culturally insensitive pick up lines for Joe (On the panel where Walky gets his PJ Jeans). I actually haven’t looked back at that page until now.

    Point is, I’d like to apologize to David, and anyone I may have offended. The only way I could describe my comments is to say that they were really, REALLY stupid as the words foolish, childish, and ignorant just don’t cut it.

    Not to justify, but I find race and culture something that needs to be poked fun at, I mean Mr. Willis pokes fun at the culture that stems from America’s Bible’s belt. BUT there are chasmic differences between Dave’s writing and my remarks.

    To try to some them up, Dave shows realistic people who have reasons for what they do. Theres no generalizing, grouping, and more specifically not playing off of racist generalizations like Asians can’t drive, or all Arabs wears turbans and burkas and are terrorists.

    Also Dave puts his characters in situations to show and expand upon how his characters, and we the readers, see different cultures and viewpoints.
    My situation was Joe soliciting a stranger for sex by either boasting about his own manhood or saying how he thinks the girl is sexually attractive by specifically mentioning her apparent Muslim heritage. =/ Yeah…

    Again, I apologize for what has been said, I should know better considering I’m African American (or Black when I’m trying save six syllables) and I’ve had people cross that line on me before because they didn’t follow the simple rule of making racial and cultural comedy about bringing people together instead of alienating each other.

    Thanks.

    1. lordphulish

      Khrene Cleaver uses TACT
      It is SUPER EFFECTIVE!

      1. Khrene Cleaver

        Thank you so much for that laugh!

        I was kinda upset about this, or whatever you call that feeling of utter disappointment when you realize you crossed a moral line you hold in pretty high regards in a very public setting.

        Aww now I’m sad agiain, TIME TO CATCH UP ON COMMENTS AND COMIC STRPIS!

  31. OzzyDamnCrerar

    If Clerks 2 taught us anything (and I’m pretty sure there was only the one thing), it’s that Transformers is Jesus-approved.

  32. JA

    I remember seeing a YTMND where Optimus was on the cross with “Our God is an Awesome God” as the music.

  33. tahrey

    Why are there two cables going into his laptop? Power, and…?

    1. Narf

      Ethernet, maybe?

  34. tahrey

    Ahhhh! AVATAR JINX!

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