They made a ton of easy listening hits in the 70s, two of the greatest Christmas albums of all time, and one sci-fi fantasy TV special that was as corny as it was weird.
I’m not sure if we have a number on it, but Joe’s one of the tallest in the cast, alongside Ethan and Jacob. On the gal side, guessing it’s Carla and Sierra that’d be at the top.
Kyrik Michalowski
Hopefully Willis gives us the numbers for their height, or at least something that shows their relative to each other heights.
Based on this I’d say Dorothy is about 5’5 (couple inches taller than amber) if I can find Becky on level with Dorothy or Amazigirl then we’ll have a solid guess for Dorothy.
Average is 5’9″ for American men and 5’4″ for American women according to a quick google. I would assume Joe is at least 6′ and possibly north of that.
Kyrik Michalowski
Is it really only 5’9″ for men? I’m about 6’2″ myself, though I tend to stand in a way that makes me appear shorter. No idea why.
Robert
It was surprising to me, as well. Reverse Uno, though, because I’m 5’7″. I’ve had excellent posture since my teens, and never thought of myself as short until I married my husband. He’s 6’1″. Now we have two large adult sons who arime 6′ and 6’2″.
I’m less than 25% of Walker-Smiths by both weight and volume.
Jamie
I’m that height and I cultivated my slouch very deliberately to avoid notice and minimize the intimidation factor.
And now I pay for that.
Daibhid C
Yeah, I very much identified with the bit in the Discworld novel Reaper Man that described Ludmilla Cake as one of those people who spends much of their life trying not to loom.
Rabid Rabbit
Donald Sutherland has a stoop because of how used he is to talking to people shorter than him. And also to be able to stay in frame. It’s all about beingable to maintain eye contact, really.
Needfuldoer
Huh. I’m almost exactly 6′ and sometimes I still feel like I’m short…
Keulen
Wait, I’m average height? I thought I was little shorter than average.
Everyone younger than me is a naive childish ingénue. Everyone older than me is a senile, doddering fool. And this has been true for at least the past 30 years…
Thag Simmons
Everyone is stupid except me
Decidedly Orthogonal
Usually I try and hold onto “everyone is stupid” and let it be at that. I know what I’ve done, and so do many other people.
Bicycle Bill
George Carlin said it best: “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
Needfuldoer
He truly was one of America’s great philosophers.
khn0
“You, the newly born asses,
Innocent asses,
Young asses
Who, don’t deny it,
Take the fathers
For asses.
You, the ancient asses,
Asses well experienced,
The senior ass
Who, you may confess it,
Take the little pest
For asses.
Reflect on the impartial message
From someone who is between the ages”
From Le temps ne fait rien à l’affaire (Age has nothing to do with it )
You may think that’s a whole of ass(es), but in original version, the word has the equivalent to conga but without the frankly misogynic undertone (there *is* a misogynic undertone, but it’s not frank, bc nobody remembers it has anything to do with female anatomy anymore, so the song is not misogynistic per se, even if the author should not be counted as a feminist lest by his era standards… that are low)
Oh, good. Ghost Joe would have not quite been alliteration but would have been fully terrifying. Though in retrospect somewhat inventible: if your life goal is to bang all the chicks, you are going to have unfinished business when you die (likely from STDs).
PirateTawnee
Ghost Joe’s jorts just go gently to gaol? I think I have that in a gif somewhere…
I have no concept of what should be the “correct” height. I know that I generally stand in a way that makes me look shorter though I don’t know why I do it.
I had a captain in the Army who was 6ft 11in. He was the youngest and shortest of 4 boys. Only about an inch, but it was enough for them to razz him about being the baby of the family.
When his son was about 6, the boy said he wanted to grow up to be 6ft 20.
116 thoughts on “Backpedalin’”
Ana Chronistic
why does Joe suddenly appear
everytime you are near
like Becky, he wants to be
close to… lesbians
True Survivor
Oh no, Ana’s taken up poetry. Her powers continue to grow unabated.
Clif
Her powers have retroactively always continued to grow unabated.
Hrafn
She’s gone from bad to verse. 😉
Sunny
That was quite phunny, well done.
True Survivor
🙂
Needfuldoer
…
Have you never heard of The Carpenters?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M268Csnue9I
They made a ton of easy listening hits in the 70s, two of the greatest Christmas albums of all time, and one sci-fi fantasy TV special that was as corny as it was weird.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_gwA_hdKMs
Clif
Of course we’ve heard of the Carpenters. Going back in time and writing their lyrics to match today’s comment was one of Ana’s greatest triumphs.
Spencer
I thought the Carpenters was that family Harry Dresden really likes.
Daibhid C
(Flips chair backwards) Okay, but let me tell you about another carpenter who was easy to listen to and was a great part of Christmas…
Librain
… Ron Swanson?
Carms
This is EXTREMELY good thankyou
Opus the Poet
And now I’m sad for Karen Carpenter from that.
The Wellerman
Ah, behold the titans!
This should be fun!
The Wellerman
*plays “Souls” by David Fenn on Joe’s Phone*
Adam Black
thankyou.
this is new to me
CrazyJ
“The giants of Charlton play host to the titans of Ipswich, making them both seem normal-sized” -Mitchell and Webb
Paul
> “The giants of Charlton play host to the titans of Ipswich, making them both seem normal-sized”
This is also why the Teletubbies’ rabbits are actually a breed called the ‘Flemmish Giant’. They are ridiculously (and unhealthily) large.
ThunderNight
Behold the joe-tan
RassilonTDavros
Sky-height Joe is an outlier and should not be counted.
Frank M.
As a 6’5″-er I have never felt this close to Joe.
Deanatay
He’s a guy-scraper.
(Am 6’3″, am allowed.)
BBCC
As a Tiny Person, I agree with Dina. Joe is the aberration.
Kyrik Michalowski
How tall is Joe anyway? And what are the actual standard heights for men and women?
DailyBrad
I’m not sure if we have a number on it, but Joe’s one of the tallest in the cast, alongside Ethan and Jacob. On the gal side, guessing it’s Carla and Sierra that’d be at the top.
Kyrik Michalowski
Hopefully Willis gives us the numbers for their height, or at least something that shows their relative to each other heights.
King Daniel
Amber is canonically five-foot-two: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2017/comic/book-7/03-the-thing-i-was-before/find/
King Daniel
And adding on to say, per Amazi-Girl her boots add an additional three inches: https://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/02-guess-whos-coming-to-galassos/vandals/
Z
Based on this I’d say Dorothy is about 5’5 (couple inches taller than amber) if I can find Becky on level with Dorothy or Amazigirl then we’ll have a solid guess for Dorothy.
https://www.dumbingofage.com/2011/comic/book-1/05-media-rumble/composited/
I suspect Dina is 5′ or shorter. She reminds me of the 4’10 girls I’ve known.
Proxiehunter
Average is 5’9″ for American men and 5’4″ for American women according to a quick google. I would assume Joe is at least 6′ and possibly north of that.
Kyrik Michalowski
Is it really only 5’9″ for men? I’m about 6’2″ myself, though I tend to stand in a way that makes me appear shorter. No idea why.
Robert
It was surprising to me, as well. Reverse Uno, though, because I’m 5’7″. I’ve had excellent posture since my teens, and never thought of myself as short until I married my husband. He’s 6’1″. Now we have two large adult sons who arime 6′ and 6’2″.
I’m less than 25% of Walker-Smiths by both weight and volume.
Jamie
I’m that height and I cultivated my slouch very deliberately to avoid notice and minimize the intimidation factor.
And now I pay for that.
Daibhid C
Yeah, I very much identified with the bit in the Discworld novel Reaper Man that described Ludmilla Cake as one of those people who spends much of their life trying not to loom.
Rabid Rabbit
Donald Sutherland has a stoop because of how used he is to talking to people shorter than him. And also to be able to stay in frame. It’s all about beingable to maintain eye contact, really.
Needfuldoer
Huh. I’m almost exactly 6′ and sometimes I still feel like I’m short…
Keulen
Wait, I’m average height? I thought I was little shorter than average.
thejeff
I’m slightly below average height for my weight.
Eldritchy
You all just need to drink more milk!
Thag Simmons
Everyone who is shorter than you is tiny and everyone who is taller than you is a freak. This is how heights are judged.
The Wellerman
Humans…. go figure.
woobie
Other drivers are slowpokes or maniacs.
Doom Shepherd
Everyone younger than me is a naive childish ingénue. Everyone older than me is a senile, doddering fool. And this has been true for at least the past 30 years…
Thag Simmons
Everyone is stupid except me
Decidedly Orthogonal
Usually I try and hold onto “everyone is stupid” and let it be at that. I know what I’ve done, and so do many other people.
Bicycle Bill
George Carlin said it best: “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
Needfuldoer
He truly was one of America’s great philosophers.
khn0
“You, the newly born asses,
Innocent asses,
Young asses
Who, don’t deny it,
Take the fathers
For asses.
You, the ancient asses,
Asses well experienced,
The senior ass
Who, you may confess it,
Take the little pest
For asses.
Reflect on the impartial message
From someone who is between the ages”
From Le temps ne fait rien à l’affaire (Age has nothing to do with it )
You may think that’s a whole of ass(es), but in original version, the word has the equivalent to conga but without the frankly misogynic undertone (there *is* a misogynic undertone, but it’s not frank, bc nobody remembers it has anything to do with female anatomy anymore, so the song is not misogynistic per se, even if the author should not be counted as a feminist lest by his era standards… that are low)
StClair
cap-reference.gif
foamy
Procrustes had the right idea.
Clif
And the bed to prove it.
Bicycle Bill
Now there’s an obscure reference for ya.
Agemegos
It’s only obscure if you don’t know it:
Kyrik Michalowski
It’s all about your stuff, versus someone else’s shit.
Stephen Bierce
The Man’s too big…
The Man’s Too Strong!–Dire Straits
True Survivor
Wait… How did Joe get into the room? Isn’t the door locked?
Kyrik Michalowski
I believe they are in the hallway now.
True Survivor
Oh, good. Ghost Joe would have not quite been alliteration but would have been fully terrifying. Though in retrospect somewhat inventible: if your life goal is to bang all the chicks, you are going to have unfinished business when you die (likely from STDs).
PirateTawnee
Ghost Joe’s jorts just go gently to gaol? I think I have that in a gif somewhere…
Thag Simmons
They left their room and are in the public hallway
Sombrero
God, I mean, Joe is everywhere.
Ed Callahan
So is Roy Kent.
Rose by Any Other Name
Sudden twist – this Joe is actually not Joe from Its Walky but rather Historic Jesus.
True Survivor
If you believe in Trinity, it would explain why he is both exactly like and very different from his father.
The Wellerman
Ha ha nice point you got there True!
Speaking of which, are we that much clear on whether or not Willis’s particular sect believed in the Trinity?
King Daniel
Willis was raised nondenominational Protestant (like Joyce), so yes.
Mturtle7
Nah…Historical Jesus is really short (more like Dina’s size than Joe’s).
Amós Batista
Dina stares at Jesus and says:
– Evidences, motherfucker! Do you have it??
Kyrik Michalowski
I have no concept of what should be the “correct” height. I know that I generally stand in a way that makes me look shorter though I don’t know why I do it.
Sirksome
I’m 6ft 7inches and 100% agree with Joe! Y’all’s just small.
brionl
I had a captain in the Army who was 6ft 11in. He was the youngest and shortest of 4 boys. Only about an inch, but it was enough for them to razz him about being the baby of the family.
When his son was about 6, the boy said he wanted to grow up to be 6ft 20.
Eldritchy