170

Facedown
Posted on October 9, 2014 by David M Willis

170 thoughts on “Facedown”

  1. Jen Aside

    Dillie’s facedown in a b

    wait

    1. Mr k

      Soon Billie will suffocate. At least she’ll die happy.

      1. Tunaro

        We all would, K. We all would.

    2. Tunaro

      Quick, Ruth, wake her up ‘fore she suffocates!

      1. Yotomoe

        But that’s like…one of my top 10 ways to die! Isn’t it everyone’s?

        1. Tunaro

          My number 12, just below mortal combat with the eternal warrior spirit of Bruce Lee.

        2. Barf Ninjason

          I’ve never thought of “death by Bruce Lee spirit,” that’s good. Hell, you must have some pretty good ones on your list already, because I think that one is good enough to be #2 on mine, right after my favorite: killed by a falling satellite. (Because it’s simultaenously ” clearly it was fate” and “gee, thanks a lot, guy who invented the satellite.”)

        3. Disloyal Subject

          My top 2 is a tie between ‘drunken fight with a bear’ and ‘enuff dakka.’

        4. Arkadi

          You know that there isn’t such a thing as “enuff dakka”, don’t you.

        5. Disloyal Subject

          Exactly.

        6. longstickny166uh

          Seriously, based upon 11 and 12, I wanna hear 1-10.
          My number one is hungry butterflies. It’d be painful and monotonous, but it would also be historical.

        7. motorfirebox

          I’m gonna have to go with my dad’s favorite way to die: spontaneous combustion in the middle of a board meeting. Just, like, “…clearly shows how last quarter’s sales numbers are *fwoosh* AAAIIIIEEEEE I SMELLL DELICIOUS”

        8. Yet_One_More_Idiot

          Death by falling satellite sounds pretty sweet actually, ‘cos I’d never see that coming until it was waaaaay too late. In fact, anything that’s extremely final and too sudden to avoid.

          Death by falling satellite
          Enuff dakka
          A sudden explosion
          Supervolcano
          Meteor impact
          Being in the instant-death zone of a nuke
          Gamma ray burst

        9. Kelly

          What I think when you say death by satellite:

          http://satwcomic.com/eurovision-2010

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=IRgp-7Q4alU#t=40

        10. LokoBacon

          No one else has the scene from Dr. Strangelove where Major Kong rides a nuke dropped from a plane while waving a cowboy hat on their list of favorite ways to die? I think riding a nuke would have to be my way to go.

        11. Jen Aside

          Autoerotic asphyxiation isn’t on anyone’s list??

          also, pretty much any Machine of Death card

        12. Kryss LaBryn

          I think my top way to die would be to die fighting off something deadly so my loved ones could escape, and lasting just long enough to realize I succeeded.

          If I can do that at a ripe old age it will be perfect.

        13. Arkadi

          What *I* Tthink when you say “death by satellite”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMlq5IJ265M (I hope I’m not the only old geezer here who’s old and geez enough to remember that)

        14. Dreballin3x

          I think my preference would have to be Death Buy Lemonade.

        15. Kelly

          @Arkadi I know Northern Exposure was a show that was running during my lifetime, but that is about all I know about it.

        16. Dr. Paul

          Death by falling “satellite” (actually the toilet seat from the Mir) is the opening scene in “Dead Like Me”.

        17. Kelly

          Well, Aurthur C Clark invented the idea of the geosynchronous communication satellite. Herman Potočnik had some ideas about satellites in 1928… Hard to say who had the very first conception of it, really.

        18. TheZachariah

          Can’t we just go with once you’re dead you’re dead and so the moments leading up to it are by comparison inconsequential? I’m going to go with that one.

        19. tinfoil theory

          I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather.
          Not like the passenger in his car.

        20. Barf Ninjason

          Ok, but only if by “moments leading up to it,” you mean one’s entire life; that way it’s nice and fatalistic.

        21. Not

          Satellite means anything that orbits anything. The moon is a satellite. The earth is a solar satellite.

          My favorite deaths are mostly strange… but one of them is riding on top of a car that is going in one direction really quickly, and jumping off of it onto another car that is going just as fast in the opposite direction. Dying from the change in momentum, but before impacting the ground. It would be pretty hardcore.

          Also, killed by bunnies.

        22. Psyme

          I think this is my #1 way of dying.

        23. Furio

          Getting killed by a satellite? How about getting killed by toilet seat from space: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugWpj88EWt4

        24. Dr. Paul

          And I should have scrolled down another page befor I posted.

        25. Roborat

          Remember, Dead Like Me was just a TV show, if you get killed by a satellite, you don’t get to be a Reaper.

        26. Raye the Magic Lesbian

          I want to die by spontaneous combustion, or rather, what I pictured spontaneous combustion to look like when I was ten or so. Casually going about your day, when, for no reason at all, you explode. No warning, and no time to feel pain, and also everyone around you is all WTF?

        27. Led

          Well obviously you gotta be slain in combat, so you get to go to Valhalla or Fólkvangr after 😀

        28. Barf Ninjason

          Hmm, does it count as death in battle if the satellite falls on me if I’m bravely combatting security guards as they throw me out of an Olive Garden?

        29. Goliath

          eh, fireworks are ore fun.

        30. Koms

          Dumb ways to die…so many dumb ways to die

      2. liahansen

        Yea, but she will fear no evil, for boobs art with her.

        1. Arkadi

          The power of boobs compels her. One does not simply escape the gravitic pull of those boobs. In fact, Ruth’s boobs and Billie’s have probably settled into a common orbit and become their own binary (quaternary?) system. Billie’s really up Boob Creek.

      3. Romanticide

        or she vomits… and then suffocates…

    3. Packy

      Jen FTW.

    4. DSL

      Right on top of things

  2. Doctor_Who

    Billie’s not snoring, that’s just how she imitates a motorboat.

  3. Foxhack

    Sleepmotorboating!

    1. Yotomoe

      So Fishboating?

      1. Kelly

        @fishingboatproceeds ?

        1. ninja_jesus

          You get all the hugs for that one.

        2. Kelly

          What can I say, I am a huge fan of CrashCourse, especially History 1&2 and Big History. (little out of the target demographic for his books…)

        3. Deanatay

          SO MUCH WIN

  4. Tunaro

    Damint, Willis beat me ta the valley joke.

    1. The kid

      Well, take a look at their lives, and realize they have nothing left.

  5. Mr. Random

    Lo’ though I snuggle alone in the Valley of Death, I do not fear reprimand, for they are soft and warm.

    1. Deanatay

      “I could bury myself in them and be safe forever…”

  6. Yotomoe

    More like facedown in a bongo, amiright?
    (Yes, I know I’ll get lashback for that, but I can’t fight the pun).

    1. Barf Ninjason

      Jen Aside hath enninjaated thee.

    2. Arkadi

      Yes you are. You are so right ^^

    3. Deanatay

      uarrite.

  7. Kiggy

    marshmallow

  8. MrSirk

    Best ditch I’ve seen.

  9. Mo

    My daughter flips Ds and Bs backwards too.

    1. anonymous

      JenAside beat you to it.

  10. Plasma Mongoose

    Poor Billie has been trapped in an amusing motor-boating accident.

  11. Kernanator

    She seems to be trapped in a crevice. Quick, someone throw her a rope.

  12. LiamAldam

    Pssssst, Dorothy. Ask Walky if there’s anything between him and Billy now before it becomes a big blown up thing, k?

    1. Yotomoe

      Walky actually has a big Blow up doll of Billie.

    2. John

      Dorothy was there for the, “She’s like a sister,” “I’d rather do his sister,” exchange.

      1. liahansen

        They should really all hang out/ abduct Dina more.

        1. Disloyal Subject

          I concur.
          …come to think of it, how hard did Dorothy need to study to catch up after that little outing? Ugh.

    3. Soozi

      I think Dorothy looks so concerned there because being scared and concerned over someone is not very Walky-ish. If Walky is worried about her, that means she really could be in danger (as far as they know).

  13. Yotomoe

    If this was the other way around we would never see Ruth again. She’d be lost in the abyss.

    1. newllend

      An abyss of joy.

    2. Yotomoe

      I just transparently draw fanart involving boobs cuz I’m ALL about drawin’ cartoon boobs.

      1. liahansen

        gud

      2. Roborat

        Nice one, I’m all about the bass.

        You really need to draw a webcomic.

        1. Yotomoe

          I REALLY want to. But I’ve got such a terrible work ethic. I’m like the anti-Willis!

  14. newllend

    That is the most safest most comfortable ditch you can find.

    1. Jen Aside

      I bet Billie’s are more comfortable, but somehow I don’t think she’ll be facedown in her own

      1. John

        I don’t think she’d be very comfortable if she were. Heck of a crick in the neck.

        I bet the Amazi-Rack is pretty comfy.

        1. Mr k

          Billie/Amber. Two girls with glasses with severe mental issues. What could go wrong?

        2. newllend

          In between the 3 of them not shore who would have the better set..who am I kidding A/A hands down.

        3. Yotomoe

          Are we going back to the pile?

        4. Kryss LaBryn

          That is awesome.

    2. Keroshino

      More ditches need to be this!

  15. Mattyos

    I was going to do something clever with “gangsta’s paradise” but then I remembered I suck at rapping

  16. Dean

    Good thing Billie and Ruth’s positions aren’t reversed, or Ruth may never have been heard from again.

    1. newllend

      Sorry joke taken.

    2. Yotomoe

      I beat ya to it, Dean.

      1. Dean

        Ninja’d! YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS, GADGET!

        1. Kelly

          Next time Gadget!
          *cat meows/growls angrily*

  17. chris73

    I don’t think I’ve read a comic that makes me change my mind about a character as much as this one, every time I start to feel bad for Joyce or think maybe shes not so bad she pulls out something like this (massive jealousy leading to wanting to break Walky and Dorothy up) to remind why I dislike her so much

    Mind you something else will come up later to make me feel bad for her again…

    1. Maveric1984

      I don’t read Joyce as trying to break up Walky and Dorothy here. Quite the opposite in fact. She’s worried about her friend Billie, knows that Billie spent the night in Walky’s bed the other night, and is worried that her friend might take it the wrong way when Walky is obviously just trying to comfort her friend. She didn’t want to tell Dorothy in the first place after all, but also didn’t want to lie to her friend. If anything, I think she came along to try to assist Walky with any damage control.

      The fact that she has an overactive imagination and a suppressed sex drive means that she fears that Billie and Walky were doing more than just sleeping together. Her entire experience with couples boils down to her parents (whom we know little about), and her

      1. Maveric1984

        …Crap, posted by accident when I meant to move the mouse…

        Anyway, her entire relationship experience is her parents, and her limited experience with romantic comedies, which is why she ships Billie and Walky since they grew up together. She doesn’t really know how else they could interact with each other.

    2. beege

      Since this storyline seems to be headed in the direction of everyone learning about Ruth and Billie’s ‘relationship’ I suspect that Joyce is gonna piss you off again first.

  18. LeslieBean4Shizzle

    Abandon all hope ye who enter here.

    1. Yotomoe

      If I ever find I like gettin’ pegged in the butt, I’ll have to get a tramp stamp that says that.

      1. LeslieBean4Shizzle

        Or we could go directly to buttsex.
        **tips hat** Well played sir.

      2. Adam Black

        I Humbly suggest including a Treasure map to your Prostate, for the aforementioned ‘Hopeless’ …. for reasons

    2. LeslieBean4Shizzle

      Er, whoops. This was supposed to be a reply to Mr Random. Must have clicked something wrong. Yikes, I’m no where near his comment.
      … well, enjoy entirely out of context mythological reference.

  19. Emperor Kiva

    Billie’s fine. And she’s in the Ruthless Moutains Walky, big difference.

  20. CapedLuigisYoshi

    Sounding kinda like a parent there, Walky.

    1. newllend

      Somewhere between a over Bering mother and over protective older brother

      1. Opus the Poet

        But what does a Russian explorer have to do with parenting styles?

        1. Kelly

          Just what I was wondering!

      2. Roborat

        Well, at least the Bering is Strait.

  21. Morty

    Y’know, she should probably move, she’s probably having trouble breathing like that. That said… What a way to go

    1. newllend

      I wouldn’t care if that was me, not everyone has the luxury to always be able to sleep in between a beautiful pare of tits every night.

      1. Deanatay

        Unless you’re married to them

  22. Aolbain

    Nope, just in a dycke

    1. Aolbain

      I am so sorry

      1. Aolbain

        …and then it turns out I spelt it wrong and didn’t mean what I thought it did. Disappointment.

        1. Peruhain

          Well, the word “dike” originally meant “ditch” (as opposed to “levee”), so actually it’s a pretty good play on words . . .

        2. Kryss LaBryn

          No, no, I got it… 😀

          http://www.moviesounds.com/vietnam/dikes.wav

          Had some where I lived in BC. *Grin* But this is more relevant.

      2. ShaggyDonahugh

        Stare too long into the abyss, and you’ll find the abyss staring back at you xD

  23. RK

    I really like that Billie is wearing an “unsexy” but clearly supportive bra. While I don’t doubt that Billie has sexy bras, I appreciate the understanding that bras built for holding large boobs up tend to be more function over form.

    1. John

      I’m kind of confused as to why Billie’s even wearing a bra at this point. All the ladies I’ve slept with have made a point of losing them ASAP, even if we weren’t sleeping together like that. And given that Billie and Ruth are sleeping together like that, it seems rather surplus to requirements.

      1. Kryss LaBryn

        I usually take mine off at night but I’m an F and after a couple of kids, in Billie’s position I would definitely keep it on. Perhaps Billie just thinks the twins need that extra support in “public,” too…

      2. Eukie

        Doylist: It’s easier for Willis to draw strips if he doesn’t have to keep arranging panels and figures to keep things family-friendly (while writing about self-destructive one-night stands).

        Watsonian: Billie never took it off.

        1. ninja_jesus

          Watsonian Doylist: It’s easier for Willis if Billie never took it off?

        2. Yotomoe

          At least until the slipshine comes around.

        3. Thomas64

          Yeah, if you’re going to nitpick about Billie not taking off her bra, what about Ruth not even taking off her top? Remember, this is what they were wearing when Ruth woke up regained consciousness after having passed out from all the booze.

        4. Kelly

          Yeah, from that I gathered they never got that far into it before tiredness and alcohol put them to sleep.

    2. Yotomoe

      Haha, I like all bras. I find bras sexier than bare boobs usually. Even the “ugly” supportive ones. I’m wondering if Willis does too.

  24. TimeLoss

    Despite the self destruction, depression, and general sadness. It is in a simpler moment like this that makes me think that Billie and Ruth can actually work out their problems.

    Once Walky and the others find Billie I am really hoping there will not be yet another misunderstanding or misinterpretation.

  25. newllend

    I wander what they smell like ?

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Skin, cotton, and sweat. Probably some tones of dirt, booze, and lotion, too.

    2. MrSirk

      Booze. They smell like booze.

  26. Khaner

    …How long has she been Motorboating Ruth?

    1. Aolbain

      By the looks of it, for at least 16 hours

  27. Malchus

    Bad news: Billie’s been in an accident.

    Good news: The airbags deployed.

    1. shammers

      it’s comments like these that make me really want a link button or something

      1. shammers

        whoops **like

  28. Peruhain

    In China, when they sleep like that, they say you are resting in Gentle Country. (Doesn’t translate very well, but I love the expression.)

    1. Ancestral Hamster

      Wish I could rest in Gentle Country. (I’ll remember that expression, thanks.)

      Backs shape heaven’s arches,
      Long hair braids with fingers
      as the tea grows cold.

      (John M. Ford, from the short story, “Green is the Color”)

      1. Kryss LaBryn

        That’s lovely (and evocative). Thank you!

  29. Robert

    Billie is just out for a testdrive in her new motorboat…

  30. Beachfox

    Don’t now if I’m reading too much into it, but…
    The quickness that Walky worries, and the quickness that he leaps to the worst-case scenario with Billie…

    Given how little Walky caries/pays attention to anything, this says to me that “Billie winding up face down in a ditch” is something that he’s thought about/worried about before. He’s been stressing about Billie coming to a bad end for awhile, even though he’s probably never consciously realized it.

    Or I’m reading too much into a few panels.

    1. Rabid Rabbit

      It’s entirely possible, to not say likely, that Walky witnessed the whole DUI thing and its aftermath (at least from a distance), so he’ll have a more direct sense than anybody other than Billie herself (and, as an observer, likely a better sense) of how bad things can get.

    2. Yoohoo

      Plus it’s been too long. Wonder if he’s afraid it’s booze related and she did something to herself or if someone could’ve taken advantage of her.

    3. Thomas64

      Well, the standard reaction to someone not having slept in their room would be to assume they spent the night with someone else… But if you’re talking about someone who’s clearly in a major emotional tailspin, it’s only natural to worry about uglier possibilities.

  31. Ancestral Hamster

    Panel 3: Walky fears Billie is in a remake of “Sunset Boulevard”.

    Oddly enough, I guess in this version Walky will be Norma Desmond.

  32. Kelly

    freckles everywhere!

  33. NinjaNick

    That last panel is so hot. 😛

  34. Rosicrucian

    Billie shall fear no evil, for she is the baddest motherfucker in the valley.

    1. Allen Tor

      But where’s her big shovel?

  35. Idon'tcarenomore

    Joyce’s little jags to get Dorothy jealous over Walky and Billie together appears to have backfired.
    Pretty obvious here that Walky really is worried about her (we here on the other side knew that already).
    Then after goading Joyce to actually go check, Joyce out Mike’s Mike and get into the room, where, I’m guessing she hoped to catch some action going on.
    Too bad Joyce: Dorothy see’s Walky now as really concerned for his friend. Later she may ever consider the way YOU pushed your agenda.

  36. brionl

    Q: What lies in a ditch and goes “ding dong”?
    A: A wounded Avon Lady.

  37. Idon'tcarenomore

    Love that last panel. Hope for them maybe.

  38. Kryss LaBryn

    See, Walky? THAT’S how you do a smashcut.

  39. nothri

    Hurray! The ship is not only out to sea, but she’s now being powered by a turbine. In other words, a motorboat.

  40. JessWitt

    Gosh Billie, quit being a total boob.

  41. Lulu

    Still such kind of sleeping and waking up is much better than somehow having your partner’s feet in your face.

  42. Shadow12000

    Well, Walky IS right, technically.

  43. JESUSMAN

    more like face between two mountains

    1. Ribbits

      More like face down in a valley.

      1. Boomwolf

        more like… uh… (insert clever breast euphemism here)

        1. Deanatay

          She got buried in a boobquake.

        2. Jen Aside

          pillow talk

  44. Fabamf

    Face down in the shadow of the valley of breasts is the best place to be

  45. Dani Kelley

    Ha. I remember calling it the valley of the shadow of death in my Christian high school and thinking I was SUPER ORIGINAL. 😛

  46. MissQuinn

    Ahh, that’s how I want to go. Hungover, facedown in an equally hungover redhead’s chest.

  47. Smith

    Reliving momma’s boobs, Billie?

    1. AriBerri

      As a mom who breastfeeds, you just made me shudder.

  48. OmegaDez

    Boob suffocation is the best type of suffocation.

  49. Minder

    Oh, holy shit, that’s actually adorable. I wasn’t expecting anything adorable out of Billie and Ruth of all couples

  50. Ailorn

    I think Joyce Walkie and Dorothy need a healthy dose of boundaries. I understand about worrying about someone and that they dont know what we know (she’s physically safe). This group is pretty emeshed and trying to help one another but I think they’d be better off with worrying less and allowing one another to be responsible for themselves.

    1. Bill

      And between the “it ain’t my concern” mindset and the “surely someone else has got this covered” excuse, this is how people with problems — whatever they are — fall through the cracks.  Remember the proverb which Hillary lifted for the title of her book — “It takes a village…..” 

    2. timemonkey

      Because when you know someone is drinking heavily, someone whose just been told they were poison and agrees with the statement, someone whose entire life has been pulled out from under them recently, someone who admits only two people actually care about her, and that person disappears, of course the thing to do is ignore the problem. That can in no way backfire.

    3. Yoohoo

      Even if she wasn’t depressed and told she was poison and hardly had any friends… if you’re one of those few friends and haven’t seen her since noon the day before — A young hot female who likes to drink and have random flings who hasn’t been seen or heard from for almost 24 hours — and you’re not worried, and don’t want to check up on her and/or find her…?

      Maybe it’s because of this missing-and-probably-dead college girl in Va, whose friends let her wander out alone and drunk, I just think people need to be better friends and watch out for each other like this group. So… I applaud Walky’s worries, even though they’re leaning more ‘omg suicide/accidental overdose’ than ‘kidnap/murdered college girl.’

  51. Brian

    Cue the slipshine release. Please…

  52. man in black

    Got the first part right

  53. Bagge

    Ruth’s tolerance for cute is about 5 seconds.

  54. JA

    Nothing better than a facefull of boobs.

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