Broad
Posted on January 10, 2014 by David M Willis
And there's the title for Book 4. (You know, when I wrote this strip months ago, I really thought Tailgate would be out by now.)

283 thoughts on “Broad”

  1. Jen Aside

    Er… okay?

  2. The Meek Ninja

    …Huh.

    Doubt Danny will use them anytime soon.

    1. Mr K

      Hopefully Dina will use them soon, at least.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Only if Dina knows how to make blow-up condom dinosaurs out of them.

        1. KingMabel

          What makes you think she can’t?

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          I just have a hard time thinking of Dina as someone who can do party tricks.

        3. D

          Like her musical talent- only dinosaur related ones.

        4. Sageress

          Her saxophone has a brontosaur’s head pasted to it.

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          Being a purist, Dina would not adknowledge the existance of brontosaurus, only Apatosaurus.

        6. TPmanW

          She doesn’t play music, only mimic dinosaur calls.

        7. 3oranges

          So would that mean an Apatosaurus head, or the Camarasaurus one that was used for the brontosaur find?

        8. Kelly

          @3oranges (man, I hate when nesting runs out) I doubt she would pay attention to a 100+ year old incorrect mount that was fixed before she was born. I am sure she uses Apatosaurus skulls only.

        9. Just Cheeto Dust

          Those are going towards “party tricks” of a different sort.

    2. Aeron

      Ready for anything. ANYTHING. Including Danny growing a pair.

  3. David Herbert

    She expected Danny to Dan up the protection, so she had her own.

    1. Yotomoe

      Danny’s condoms are made of tissue paper.

      1. JA

        Danny’s condoms wear condoms to protect themselves.

        1. Rowen Morland

          Danny’s condoms appear to be abstinence in the form of shooting himself
          in his prospects.

      2. AJBulldis

        That would be a problem if his testicles hadn’t Dan’d up his sperm count.

        1. davidbreslin101

          I dunno. Danny’s sperm count would only be low if he was TRYING to get someone pregnant. The rest of the time, it’s freakishly high just to increase the likelihood of messing things up for everyone. Poor guy is basically an accidental Mike.

    2. MrMercury

      Why does everyone hate Danny unnecessarily T.T seriously, give the guy a break! (Like Danny would break a condom- badumtish! But really, he doesn’t deserve all this)

      1. Opus the Poet

        Arm leg or Danny nose?

  4. Doctor_Who

    Then Amazi-Girl must be…Roz!

    1. Jen Aside

      And Amber loves to cosplay Amazi-Girl!

    2. Bill

      The BOY SCOUT motto is “Be Prepared”.  Therefore, Amazi-Girl must be a guy who is cross-dressing.

      1. Mr. Random

        My god.
        Then it must be… Walky! And the twist is he and Sal switch every so often. Have you ever seen BOTH Walkerton’s AND Amazi-girl in the same scene? I think not!

        1. tofusmith

          If we go by hair color, couldn’t it be Faz?

  5. Wonder Wig

    Just in case my partner has to go… undercover.

    1. Mr K

      She wants to make Sal her partner, right?

    2. Haven

      *slow clap*

    3. Sageress

      Just in case somebody has to park their Amazi-Mobile in the Amazi-Cave.

  6. dailybrad

    I really hope, but I guess I am probably wrong, Amber will come clean with Danny sometime soon, but we’ll see I guess. Poor scatterbrained Amber is, with the exception of her dad, he own worst enemy.

    1. Silentknyght

      Agreed. Amber is probably my least favorite character because of this.

      (Been reading a while, signed in just to say this)

  7. Aizat

    Smoke bombs.

  8. Wack'd

    Walky and shoes appear to be kind of a thing, don’t they?

    1. Thanks, I'll Have Another!

      “These shoes rule! These shoes suck!!”

      1. timemonkey

        “These shoes are $300!”

        1. Leorale

          Let’s get ’em!

  9. Confuzor

    How does she have Tailgate in 2010!?

    1. Wack'd

      Dumbing of Age is perpetually set in the present day. Or, in Willis’s words, it won’t “slowly become a period piece.”

      1. AgentKeen

        It’s even ahead of current time, based on his comment below. To use something that gets over quoted but is too fun to not quote, it’s “Wibbly-Wobbly Timey-Wimey”.

      2. Random832

        So does that mean that if ten years from now we have another flashback to the convenience store robbery, Amber will have a 3DS XL instead of a DS Lite?

        1. Bill M.

          No, it’s still going to be a DS Lite because Blaine is that much of a cheapskate.

        2. Random832

          Then shouldn’t it be a Gameboy Color now?

    2. David Willis

      NUMBER SIX GOD DAMMIT: http://www.dumbingofage.com/about/

      1. Packy

        What, you expect people to have read the FAQ? That’s as crazy as that time in “It’s Walky!” when [ remainder of comment deleted by webmaster ].

        1. Mr. Random

          And i’m guessing that was #3.

        2. Andrusi

          Great. Now we’re stuck in an episode of Family Guy and it’ll be 30 minutes before anything is funny again.

        3. Roborat

          Cue the rooster! Time for a long, drawn out fight scene.

      2. JW

        If it’s set in the present day, but it’s still autumn, then it’s either autumn 2013, or autumn 2014. Since Tailgate obviously wasn’t out in autumn 2013, Mr. Willis must be telling us that it’s autumn 2014 in the comic (for now), by when Tailgate will be out. It’s in the future!

      3. Roborat

        I knew it. As soon as I saw that post, I knew you would be saying something along these lines.

      4. timemonkey

        Speaking of the FAQ:
        4) Please please please don’t do “test” posts or “first”s.

        What is a ‘test’ post?

        1. David Willis

          It’s where you post to say “test.”

        2. timemonkey

          Oh, people do that?

        3. Opus the Poet

          Yes, when they keep doing dumb things and their posts get moderated out of existence then they put test posts to see if their posts get through. Then those posts get deleted and they send more test posts and then things just get ugly.

        4. David Willis

          It’s rarely because they’re doing dumb things, actually. Usually it’s first-time posters who haven’t had their first post accepted yet or folks seeing if their new avatars have shown up.

  10. Yotomoe

    Willis, You’d better start selling Amazi-Condoms.

    1. Doctor_Who

      99.9% effective at preventing pregnancy, and 100% effective against criticism.

      1. Sageress

        Give this man an award.

      2. AgentKeen

        So still made more for his pleasure than hers?

        1. NerdHerder

          It’s Danny. There’s no pleasure to be found.

        2. begbert2

          Amber, who would know, appears to disagree.

      3. Tom Speelman

        But do Amazi-Condoms prevent Amazi-Pregnancy?

      4. Jack Finch

        Amazi-girl is immune to criticism, but she might still be a carrier.

  11. Super Duper

    She keeps a Shattered Glass Ravage around in her pocket? Damn, she just don’t care about the world!

    1. jrgolden42

      Actually that is the new Generations Tailgate

  12. madock345

    “We followed a trail”?

    Weird choice for a title, but I guess it will make more sense in hindsight.

    1. PureFedora

      I think the title he’s going for is “These condoms with an ‘A’ written on them”

      1. Salmo

        I think it’s going to be “Getting Kind of Sloppy”.

        1. Sageress

          “Skinda Overcast”

        2. Nono

          “Getting Kinda Sloppy, Amazi-Girl.”

        3. John

          That’s why she has the Amazi-Condoms!

        4. NCP19

          I thought it was going to be “Amazi-Girl is Always Prepared For…Anything” but that’s just me.

        5. Tenn

          Spoilsport. 😛

        6. xKiv

          Was in a rush?

    2. Shade

      I don’t know that could work depending on the cover art.

  13. jrgolden42

    Man. Even fictional college students get new Transformers waves before I do…

    1. Kelly

      Fictional characters get all the good stuff! And they rarely share with us real people, the jerks!

  14. Nono

    That’s why you get utility belts, Amazi-Girl.

    1. Aizat

      And smoke bombs.

    2. Yotomoe

      The Transformers section of the belt would be the most important.

  15. Aizat

    That could be anybody’s Transformers.

    1. Yotomoe

      Maybe Ethan’s hiding around here somewhere. Check the closet!

      1. TacosForever

        OHHHH BURRRRRN

      2. Twirls

        OOOOHHHHHHH

      3. Roborat

        Sorry, closets full. . . oops, wrong comic.

  16. brionl

    Well, that’s probably one thing Batman never had in his utility belt.

    1. Aizat

      Actually, he does…you know..for those rooftop sessions with a certain cat.

      1. Mr K

        I wonder who Amazi-Girl’s Catwoman is? Probably Sal.

        1. Sageress

          Danny, on one particularly odd date.

        2. TPmanW

          I wonder if the presence of the condoms means she was considering stepping up their relationship.

        3. Historyman68

          I think that’s a pretty safe bet.

          Or, maybe if she finds people fucking in the bushes, she’ll distribute some safety to them.

        4. begbert2

          “Greetings citizens! I couldn’t help but notice the activity you were engaging in. And that you’re not using a condom. No, I wasn’t actually looking that closely or that long, I just, uh, have really good eyesight. -I mean hearing! Regardless, good citizens. I’m aware that it may be a little bit after-the-fact, but you know what they say, better late than never! So here you go, one of my amazing amazi-condoms! Um, no, they’re not bulletproof, at least as far as I know, but they should be as effective as a regular one. No, I won’t sign the wrapper. I mean, I sort of already did. No, it’s not latex; some citizens are allergic — the costume? Um, no, it’s cloth. Bulletproof cloth! …No, I wasn’t making a sperm joke. Join you!? Eh, um, oh! I think I see the Amazi-signal! I must away! Go back to your, um, business, citizens! And remember, I won’t always be here to protect you, so bring your own next time!”

        5. Roborat

          You win the intertubes today.

        6. Cragalanch

          The most awesome thing Cragalanch has seen in a long time

      2. Nono

        Batman/Catman?

        Nah, Catman deserves better.

        1. Aizat

          Wait, Catman operates in Gotham?

        2. Nono

          Batman has a jet.

          I’m not sure long-distance liaisons are an issue for him.

      3. Pat

        Wh-why would he need Transformers for that? o.0

    2. Casey

      Which one? I’m gonna guess shoes. Although he should, you never know when you’ll need an extra pair.

    3. Doctor_Who

      You really think he’s willing to risk another Damian?

      1. Yotomoe

        Where else is he gonna get more Robins? Orphans with super athletic abilities aren’t exactly commonplace.

        1. Sageress

          You’re forgetting, this is DC we’re talking about. Those are pretty much prerequisites for being a character.

    4. The Sandman

      Well, you never know when a tiny transforming robot toy might come in handy.

      1. Ocbrad1

        Perfect avatar is perfect.

  17. Kernanator

    Face it, Amazi-Girl, you are no Batman. Fortunately, most people aren’t either.

    1. BlueRam

      Nope. Being Batman is quite expensive.

      1. WonderRabbit

        I’m sure there’s one Batman-esque hero who does on the cheap.
        I mean sure, Green Arrow, Ted Kord, Batwoman had huge funds originally, but… Uh…

        Um… Nite Owl?
        Okay, get a blue naked mangod to make unlimited energy and you too can be a crimefighter!

        1. Historyman68

          Naked blue mango? Oh wait.

  18. Plasma Mongoose

    Either Amazi-Girl has MacGyver like skills or she has trained her vagina to fight ‘harden’ crminals. 😀

    1. Thanks, I'll Have Another!

      Nobody kegels like Amazi-Girl kegels.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        As one crim discovered…
        http://plasma-mongoose.tumblr.com/post/47810717782/i-like-to-think-of-this-as-a-slight

      2. Karkat-san

        No one kegels like Gaston.

    2. KingMabel

      Is it to late to cause a minor crime on campus?

  19. Robert

    Amazi-girl should sew some pockets onto that costume of hers and quit shoving her belongings into her cleavage.

    1. Wack'd

      I could’ve sworn she had a utility belt but I checked yesterday’s comic and nope, it’s just a belt.

    2. Aizat

      But no one will dare to look in there.

    3. Plasma Mongoose

      The fashion industry seems to have an aversion to adding pockets to any woman’s clothing.

      1. Thanks, I'll Have Another!

        And if they do, the pockets are so small as to be useless. If your pants pocket can’t even hold a flip phone, there’s a problem.

      2. TacosForever

        Even worse–some women’s pants are made to LOOK like they have pockets, but the pockets are just sewn-on decorations. Those actually make me angry. Particularly because I’ve twice bought them by accident.

    4. David Willis

      She has double pockets on each glove and boot, plus larger pockets hanging off either side of her belt. (There are some hidden ones underneath her cape as well.)

      1. Sageress

        Liefeld, you’ve been bested. Behold, the NEW pocket king!

      2. Yotomoe

        I assume her cape is made of a polymer based tytanium alloy (3 times stronger than steel), right?

        1. David Willis

          Naw, it’s mostly cloth.

        2. Psycho

          Come on Willis, let a fandom dream.

        3. LiaHansen

          Ah, mostly cloth. So only some polymer based tytanium alloy (3 times stronger than steel) then.

        4. RobHagen

          It’s made of Mylar. Stronger than steel, and as thin as a human hair.

        5. Robert

          and easy to rip as wet toilet paper

        6. Bill

          Could be Tyvek just as easily.  Light, thin, almost impossible to tear, and on top of that it’s water-repellant too.

        7. The Sandman

          “Polymer-based titanium alloy”…

          Nintendium?

    5. Casey

      What she really needs is XTREEM pouches, liefeld-style

    6. Yotomoe

      That’s why she refuses to have a chest window. She doesn’t want her opponents to be able to access her gear.

      1. Robert

        No, Amazi-Girl refuses to have a chest window on her costume because she doesn’t want to have the newspaper editor humping her leg while she’s fighting crime.

  20. newllend

    Either she’s starting advertise herself or Danny WAS about to get some ass l, looked like he fucked up worded than we thought

    1. newllend

      Worser

      1. timemonkey

        Worse.

        1. Totz the Plaid

          Worse than “worse”, he straight-up Danny’d the situation.

        2. JJ

          It’s the sliding scale of worseness. Repeat with me:

          Worse > Worser > Worsest > Worcestershire

      2. newllend

        Fuck it you know what I mean

        1. Mr. Random

          That doesn’t mean it’s not funny to correct you.

  21. Thanks, I'll Have Another!

    How the hell did those two track down that much Amazi-Girl merchandise in such a short time?

    Also, I see you, Willis. 🙂 Glad to get that our earlier convo about the next book title paid off.

    1. TheStranger

      Anger made her sloppy.

      1. Just Cheeto Dust

        And sloppiness makes her angry. It’s a perfect circle of self-defeating behavior.

        1. Jack Finch

          PTSD made her Sloopy…wait….hang on…

  22. JessWitt

    If you had the day Amazi Girl had, you’d be sloppy too, Dorothy. (No ill intent meant by that, just sayin’)

    1. Yotomoe

      It’s a surprise she’s not a WRECK right now, to be honest.

      1. RobHagen

        All it takes is One Bad Day. Just ask the Joker.

        1. Mr. Random

          Well, maybe he’ll tell you that story, maybe another. He likes his past to be multiple choice.

      2. JessWitt

        Amber would have been a wreck, which she then channels into being Amazi Girl, so she’s now just reckless.

        1. Estron

          Like the pun.

  23. Mr. Random

    ANYTHING!!!!!

  24. timemonkey

    Apparently she’s not prepared for anything since she threw them away. Hope she didn’t put her name in her shoe or anything. She’s kind of getting Amazi-Owned here.

  25. Alex Stritar

    Wow, Amazi-Girl is always prepared. I don’t think even Batman has bat-condoms. (or does he?)

    1. Aizat

      He does.

    2. Jon P

      But he does have A BAT CREDIT CARD?!

      1. Mr. Random

        Yep. It bills to Crime Alley.

    3. Sageress

      Between Catwoman and Talia, he’s got more than enough reason to.

  26. Psycho

    I was wondering what would Amazing-Girl’s finishing/signature move be?

    1. Aizat

      A flying kick a la Kamen Rider?

      1. Sageress

        Super Sentai X Kamen Rider X Amazi-Girl: Superhero Taisen

        1. Aizat

          I’ll pay to see that.

        2. ninja_jesus

          As would I~!!!

      2. Chris_Fleming

        I was hoping for a parody of the Hurricane Kick

    2. Yotomoe

      The Amazi-blast. She fires it from her hands like Dragonball Z.

  27. Raibean

    Damn Amazi-girl

  28. Mr K

    I wonder what Sal is doing.

    1. Aizat

      Riding off to the sunset with Marcie?

      1. Yotomoe

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWhTCC5jbNA

    2. John

      See Jen Aside’s gravatar.

  29. Idon'tcarenomore

    And this is a way bit slower paced than I had expected.
    I expected Amber to disappear in a puff of smoke (figuratively speaking), or to shove Dorothy’s phone up her ass, and then disappear.

    1. Psycho

      Give it some time, we still might see an ass shove or smoke bombs.

  30. SilverArrowArtemis (All Else Fails)

    Wow. Just shows how unprepared I am.

  31. EvergreenFir

    Always took her for a New Balance woman

  32. Mister Mercy

    A few days ago, I had a Joyce Dina kismesis fanfiction dream.
    “I”ll show you evolution”-Dina says with a creepy grinch smile on her face

  33. ZeroSD

    Tailgate! She really is ready for anything!

  34. nothri

    Well, she’s one upped batman. Got a lot of devices on that belt, but I’ve yet to hear of a canonical sex device being one of them.

    1. David Willis

      Just noncanonical sex devices.

      1. nothri

        Given the ways of the internet and fanfics, I am positive this is true. There is bound to be at least one story in which a bat-dildo features prominently.

    2. Yotomoe

      That’s because Batman is silent and keeps his weapons sheathed until he needs it.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Well he does wear a lot of rubber… 😀

      2. The Sandman

        Wait. Batman is basically a ninja, right?

        Does that mean he can’t sheathe his sword until it has tasted blood?

  35. Kennerly

    The “A” on the condoms stands for Anonymous.

    1. Bill

      “A” with a circle around it = Anarchy at the UI.  Amber’s a real pistol.

  36. newllend

    Wait WHY did she have a USB cord on her?

    1. Yotomoe

      In case she needs to plug something into something else!

      1. AgentKeen

        Also why she has the condoms.

        1. not danny

          *applause*

        2. Roborat

          “rim-shot”

    2. Reepicheep-chan

      Danny gave it to her, remember?

  37. SteampunkRiker

    I have one question, do the amazi-condoms also repel sharks?

    1. Kennerly

      Are the amazi-condoms immune to criticism if they break?

  38. Ridureyu

    She has to kill them now.

    For Great Justice.

    1. nothri

      Hell I’ll settle for that stupid self-satisfied smirk Dorothy is sporting in panel one.

  39. Idon'tcarenomore

    If they did SteampunRiker, then Blaine wouldn’t be a problem for her.

  40. nothri

    Oh my. This is ending with someone getting severely punched, isn’t it?

  41. T Campbell

    “Amazi-Girl is immune to criticism. But you know what no one’s immune to? [holds up condom] Yeah. That’s right, citizens. Protect yourselves. Even I can’t keep you safe from everything.”

    THE MORE YOU KNOW

    1. Wack'd

      ===★

    2. Leonou

      Now I want Roz and Amazi-Girl to team together for a Safe-Sex advertising video.
      Bonus point if it’s a Rap musical video.

  42. AJBulldis

    Just give her the interview!

  43. Wack'd

    Also, I love how the curve of the heel of the shoe directly flows into the outline of Walky’s hair.

  44. Erbry

    Wait – I’m confused. What’s the title for Book 4?

    1. Bill

      My money is on “Amazi-Girl is always prepared for …. anything.”

  45. Devil Ray

    I wonder if she’s got any Amazi-Shark Repellent in there.

  46. JoeMerl

    For some reason I like to think they picked up a lot of random litter while following that trail. “No, that soda bottle isn’t mine, I don’t like Sprite.”

  47. RobHagen

    Today’s strip is great. I’m something of a sucker for masks on superheros that help with their expressions. Also, way to go with the cape covering her lower face!

    1. Bill

      That’s the only reason to have a cape.

      1. John

        They’re actually pretty useful in hand-to-hand combat if you know what you’re doing. Amazi-Girl does.

        1. Roborat

          But they are also the leading cause of death in superheros and villains.

        2. The Candyman

          I’m still waiting for the day Batman gets sucked into a tornado.

        3. The Sandman

          I’m pretty sure the leading cause of death for those demographic groups would be “declining sales”, actually.

  48. Kurai Seraphim

    Book four is going to be titled “Getting kind of sloppy” eh? I’m okay with that.

  49. LtSaraD

    Hehheh yeah a very bad day that is only gonna get worse.

  50. TheJesterKing

    It’s good to laugh now, cause soon the shit storm that is Danny, Blaine and sal will all converge on amazigirl and things will be terrible for all! In fact just to make the shit storm shittier throw Ethan in there…. And Mike….having sex with her mom…… For a nickel.

    1. The Sandman

      Pretty sure there’s been enough inflation to bring that up to a dime by this point.

    2. Estron

      That would be Joe’s dad, wouldn’t it?

  51. Darnel

    LOL
    “AMazi-Girl is ready for ANYTHING!”

    …………….. BATMAN SHOULD TAKE NOTES.

  52. Pebblerocker

    Gonna make me some Amazi-Girl branded wrappers. I admire her preparedness.

  53. acher4

    I know we are in the middle of a very dramatic storyline, but damn you willis, you can make me chuckle so easily! 😀

  54. Bill

    Why would Amber/Amazi-Girl have lost a shoe?  When last seen, Amber was running out of Landes Wing at Read Hall.  She would have had to return to her room in Clark Wing — because how else would she have been able to get the full Amazi-Girl regalia (boots, gloves, and all)?  She’s not carrying a backpack, you know.  So it’s most likely her street shoes would have been left back at her room when she swapped them for the Amazi-boots.

    And just curious — where is that dining area where all the preliminaries were taking place?  The only food services options listed for Read Residence Center is something called “El Bistro” or a pickup point for eMeals (meals ordered on-line).

    1. David Willis

      If she leaves her shoes at home, she has to, you know, return to the dorm room in her Amazi-Girl costume, or at least in bare feet. When she’s not so frantic, they get tucked away in her costume (in the hidden cape pockets to give it some weight) so she can change back at her leisure. And so, yes, she dropped a shoe in her rush.

      The dining area is the Landes Dining Hall, in the Landes wing. It’s there.

      1. Mr. Random

        So that’s how her cape could flick Dorothy’s phone out of her hands. I always wondered if that was supposed to just be SOD or there was an actual explanation.

      2. Kevin

        So she does actually go back to her dorm? I thought the costume was under her normal clothes (she apparently had the mask with her in the stairwell). As for the boots, I will accept “Amber has a pair of boots strategically stashed in numerous places throughout the school” or “Hammerspace”

        1. AHA

          At least right now, her normal clothes are under her costume. You can see the plaid shirt underneath in the first panel here.

      3. Karkat-san

        Is there a map of the Dummy-verse (the actual name escapes me) campus/dorm available anywhere? Or do you think we’d be just as safe going with the actual university layout?

        1. Bill

          I was working from an online UI map.
          http://www.iub.edu/~iubmap/bloomington/index.html

      4. Robert

        Then next time she’ll just have to remember to pack her karate socks with kung fu grip!

  55. Kevin

    Awkward

    1. Spliced

      So that’s what the A stands for…

  56. Tomb

    Dorothy is one to take about daylight! Girl be Chalky Pale!!!

  57. Nym

    . . . Did Amber not realize she left a transformer in her cape? Or does she just carry it with her always, as though it’s some sort of transformers fan club by-law?

    1. Andrusi

      She carries it as a reminder.

      A reminder of what, I’m not sure.

      1. begbert2

        Of that horrible, horrible day when a rogue transformer failed to kill her father. (She’s had a lot of days like that, actually.)

  58. hof1991

    After this, I keep hearing AG speaking with a Rorschach growl. ‘Mhr..bad day…got sloppy’

    1. Gargamel

      Never give up! Never surrender! Indeed.

      1. The Sandman

        And now I’m hearing her speak with the voice of the alien leader from GalaxyQuest. The good one, not the lizard-y one.

        1. potatoaddict

          The grit or awkward voice aside, I’m imagining the pause as she keeps her voice level for when confronted by Amazigirl condoms.

  59. Karkat-san

    I’m torn, honestly. While I respect Dorothy’s right to the truth, I also don’t feel like Amber has done anything wrong enough to warrant Dorothy trying to out her like this. It makes my stomach curl a little to see Amber hide like that and for Dorothy to angle her camera up. I logically understand that Amber has broken a law as a vigilante, but at the same time…. ugh.

    Plus, they interrupted her stopping a bike thief. >:/

    1. Syhkane

      Technically they helped scare him off…
      *whistles nonchalantly*

      1. Karkat-san

        You don’t know, man. What if he called in HIS army? What if his army has bronies? Bronies with FEDORAS?

        I hope your happy. This is exactly how wars start.

        1. Karkat-san

          … *YOU’RE

          I need a moment of silence.

        2. John

          Then Amazi-Girl will get to kick the shit out of a bunch of bronies in fedoras, and it’ll be amazingly awesome.

        3. The Sandman

          I’m not sure she’s prepared to deal with that many smooth criminals.

        4. JJ

          tsk, haven’t you learned anything today? AG is ALWAYS prepared for anything.

    2. Ivy

      Yeah, I’m honestly grossed out by Dorothy’s paparazzi side to be honest. While Amber is being a vigilante, she’s basically stopping bike thieves and vandals. Dorothy doesn’t want to know the truth about her identity for any moral reason, she just wants to look good on paper, and the smugness she’s showing about cornering Amber like this is really obnoxious to me. It speaks a lot about what kind of reporter she’d be likely to be.

      1. Psycho

        I dunno, I really don’t view Amber’s “secret hobby” as particularly healthy, but the same time, Dorothy hasn’t yet acknowledged that she would cause a lot of trouble for Amber if her identity got out. Not only would she get media attention, now all the guys she’s kicked the crap out of know where she dorms, and Blaine would likely have a field day with it. Time will tell if Dorothy will realize this or not.

        1. Karkat-san

          There’s a chance she could be kicked out of the school, too.

          … Not to mention how traumatizing being publicly outted as some cape-wearing vigilante. If we think it’s unhealthy, everyone else will too.

          This really isn’t Dorothy’s place.

        2. timemonkey

          If you don’t want to get kicked out of school, don’t do things that would get you kicked out of school.

        3. Karkat-san

          I’m not saying it’d be Dorothy’s fault, but there’s really no reason other than her own gain to speed that process up.

          …Especially since morally, she isn’t really doing anything wrong. The main reason she’d get kicked out is probably liability

        4. timemonkey

          She’s assaulting people, breaking and entering and allowed Ryan to escape by distracting everyone.

        5. begbert2

          Debatable whether she’s assaulted anybody. If somebody is being threatened, and you step in to help them, that’s still counted as self-defense, legally speaking. Even if it’s not your own self you’re defending.

          Now, there is a chance that she could have been deemed to have used excessive force in defending herself/Danny – perhaps her fists are registered as deadly weapons or something. But other than that I think she’s legally in the clear for everything she’s done.

          Well, other than breaking into Billie’s dorm room and listening to that tape. On that count you’re right. (Obviously she bears no legal culpability for Ryan getting away.)

        6. Karkat-san

          I don’t think she let Ryan get away on purpose, if I’m remembering correctly. I’ll probably give her story another reading.

    3. ninja_jesus

      “What?! A person dressing up in a superhero costume and fighting crime isn’t just doing it for fun? She actually sees her job as a mission? Oops, this superhero legitimately has a messed up psyche and background, and I’d be putting her mental/physical well-being in danger if I revealed her true identity?”

      First, it would be fair to consider that none of these questions have crossed Dorothy’s mind because thus far she legitimately has no reason to think or believe that the person behind the mask of Amazi-Girl is anything less than a well-adjusted individual doing this as a small hobby. Coming at it from this angle, there would be nothing in her mind to keep her from “spoiling the fun” as it were, because at this point she sees no danger in it for anyone; maybe just a slightly disgruntled vigilante, but no real harm done as a whole.

      In that sense, there shouldn’t be anything wrong with wanting to get her scoop, and want to look good; remember that she has to impress an Ivy League school into accepting her, and she’s doing what she can to meet her goal.

      1. Karkat-san

        I… don’t know. Maybe to an extremely oblivious person, sure. But I don’t think I’d see anyone running around in a costume beating wrong-doers up as someone who doesn’t have their share of issues. Hell, I recognize most activists have a reason to do the things they do.

        She should also be able to tell that outing her would probably cost Amber her place in college, as well as make her identity known to people she’s encountered before.

        I understand the pressures for Ivy League are intense, but I don’t think I can see it any other way than her sacrificing the happiness of someone else for her own. Dorothy’s smart, so she should be able to figure it out. If she hasn’t, then that means she hasn’t thought of the bigger implications of her story, or doesn’t want to, which is still pretty crappy.

        1. KKoro

          She -did- used to be danny’s girlfriend after all. Just because she dumped him doesnt mean she has to be much (or even at aall) better than him at not trampling on others’ feeelings.

        2. Baker

          You would think that since she went after Joyce’s attempted rapist that Dorothy would be nicer to her though, even if her showing up was the reason he got away in the first place. Dorothy only cares about her success though, I view her as a pretty selfish personality exploiting others for her own gain.

        3. John

          No one else knows that Amazi-Girl spent the rest of the night looking for Ryan.

        4. turbanous

          I have gone through all of Dorothy’s comics and in so far as I can tell she doesn’t seem to want to unmask Amazi-girl; just get more info on her.
          If she really wanted to unmask Amazi-girl, I’m sure Dorothy would have followed up more on this exchange, or she would follow Danny more since he told her that he is dating her.
          With the exception of Walky wanting to bust the Amazi-girl thing wide open, wanting to unmask/out Amazi-girl’s identity doesnt seem to be Dorothy’s goal.
          Although she is pretty smug about following Amazi-girl’s trail of objects.

        5. Karkat-san

          Let’s hope so, then. Either way, it’s still a little annoying that she isn’t respecting her wishes, but if it’s just “being annoying” vs “getting into yale” I can totally forgive that.

  60. CianM1301

    Well, that’s embarassing…

  61. Julez

    It’s actually pretty smart of her to carry condoms. Who says they’re the guy’s responsibility? I always carry some just in case of “shit happens”

    1. Opus the Poet

      If that’s the way you feel about sex… Children really would be a problem for you.

      1. chris73

        Good on her I say, it means shes less likely to have kids until she wants them which is how it should be

      2. Kelly

        That doesn’t make any sense. Not even bad “sense”. I can’t even understand what you are trying to say.

  62. Jack Finch

    This makes me sad. In broad daylight she seems more than a little ridiculous.

    1. The Sandman

      What if it were merely stocky daylight?

      1. Jack Finch

        Rubenesque, even.

    2. Alex Stritar

      Well, that’s how superhero costumes work. I mean, Batman’s dressed like a bat. Doesn’t that seem silly until he’s casting a shadow on you in a dark city street?

  63. Baker

    It sucks watching them mess with her, especially given how crappy things have been for her lately.

  64. Kraang the Somewhat Wobbly

    Amazi-Condoms!!!! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!!!!

    I want these in the store by Wednesday, Mr. Willis. I have a big weekend planned.

    1. Heavensrun

      You know she did that specifically because she thought it would turn Danny on.

  65. ninja_jesus

    Does this mean that Amazi-Girl has a secret penis? :O pleasesayyes How diabolically sexy!

    1. Karkat-san

      I don’t think so…

      The only evidence I have to back up she’s not trans is that if she were, I don’t think Blaine would respect that and would misgender her.

      1. Mr K

        Maybe she was born female, but grew a penis in the lab accident that also gave her thick bones.

      2. ninja_jesus

        <_< I wasn't being serious about this at all.

    2. The Sandman

      She likely has several, in various sizes and colors. One of them may even have an internal motor.

      She prays nightly to whoever might be listening that Dina never looks in that plastic bin under the bed.

      Unfortunately, the only one definitely listening is Dina.

      Fortunately, Dina is the sort of person who sees that as an instruction and not a challenge.

    3. Yeah

      …Why would this necessarily mean she has a penis.
      They could be for potential male partners. Female condoms also exist.

      1. ninja_jesus

        Because futanari = love.

  66. LiamAldam

    This sounds like a weird spin on Cinderella.

  67. JAMZA BEOULF

    Please excuse the caps-lock, but…

    WHY HAS NOBODY COMMENTED ON HOW MUCH HER SWEATER-VEST CLASHES WITH HER SHIRT?!

  68. Tomas

    I’m reminded of those “Trojan Man” radio ads.

  69. sadsack

    Sorry to be ultra-thick, but what is Tailgate?

    1. John

      A Transformer. Which isn’t out yet.

  70. Shobo

    Oh, it’s OVERCAST, hah.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

*

*

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.