159

Why
Posted on July 27, 2014 by David M Willis

159 thoughts on “Why”

  1. Jen Aside

    It’s Oktoberfest!

    wait

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      More like Cocktoberfest! 😀

      1. Yotomoe

        Comes right around Swalloween.

        1. An Average Loser

          hehe, Swalloween.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Follows a few weeks later with Wanksgiving Day.

        3. Camachri

          And rounding out the year, we have Pricks-mas.

        4. Plasma Mongoose

          Or if you’re Jewish, Hungukkah. ;D

        5. TachyonCode

          Fireworks and singing of Bald Dong Song follow the balls-dropping on New Boner’s Eve.

        6. Usayasha

          And once February gets here, it’s Saint Vaginatine’s Day!

        7. Yotomoe

          After that, Everyone love Phallustimes day.

        8. Kennerly

          And if you’re Muslim, Happy Ramadong.

        9. tigikay

          Don’t forget to put up the Labia Menora!

        10. Kaoy

          Personally, my favorite holiday is St. Peckers Day.

        11. Ashirogi

          Don’t forget Twatzaa!

        12. The Other Mike

          And, of course, the Weener Solstice.

        13. Chronos

          Personally, I prefer the Equicocks.

        14. Rhy

          Then it’s Dicksgiving.

        15. Deanatay

          I thought it was Slaps-giving…

        16. aipom45

          YES! ALWAYS!

        17. Mass Confusion

          And here I thought you were going to be hard-pressed to make a pun

        18. AgentKeen

          It can certainly be a tough job to crank another one out.

        19. Kaoy

          When you have days like that, you just gotta whip them out and hope for the best reaction.

      2. Shadow12000

        My god Plasma, that’s MUCH more sinister sounding with your evil Osaka avatar.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Evil Osaka makes everything better or when it comes to sausages, much wurst. 😀

        2. JacHunter

          Sausage jokes, because anyone can make a dick joke.

  2. Mr. Random

    I thought Dina made a joke…

    1. Swerve

      Hey everyone, Perceptor’s discovered humor!

    2. Doctor_Who

      I imagine her calling it a funny, like when Master Splinter said “I made a funny!” in TMNT.

      1. Mass Confusion

        Now I’m remembering the second movie…. and now I’m remembering Vanilla Ice’s song in it… and now it’s stuck in my head

        1. Doctor_Who

          Just don’t remember the third movie, whatever you do. It’s far worse than a Vanilla Ice cameo.

        2. SgtWadeyWilson

          I always thought the third was more worth it than the second, it was silly, but more fun.

        3. Swerve

          I liked the third TMNT movie to. It’s sort of based on one of the original Eastman & Laird comics, where the Turtles meet a girl with a magic time travel sceptre, and they travel back in time, first to have a crossover with Cerebus the Aardvark, and later to go to feudal Japan. It’s a little campy, but I liked the way everyone is terrified of the Turtles because they assume they’re Kappa. However, Casey Jones was totally underused in the third movie.

        4. Starscreamer

          Ninja….NINJA rap! NINJA NINJA rap! Go ninja go ninja go! GO GO GO GO! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFLGRidfFo4

  3. Van Dyne

    Welp, that’s my theory on the identity of the Whiteboard Ding-Dong Bandit busted.

    1. Mr. Random

      Not Billie, not Amber, not Amazi-girl (or is it?), not Mike.
      Who?
      WHO IS THE DICK BANDIT?!?

      1. SUGauthor

        Malaya?

      2. Yotomoe

        Joyce….noone would suspect HER.

        1. VizardJeffhog

          The THING!

        2. Thanks, I'll Have Another!

          Give her all of it!

        3. AgentKeen

          Check her tummy for a permanent marker thing.

        4. Swerve

          I think she lacks the, um, er, experience to draw those things so accurately. Just saying.

        5. Yotomoe

          She’s just copying Sarah.

        6. ninja_jesus

          What if she has The Gift?

          Of drawing penises, I mean.

        7. newllend

          She would have the most motive.

        8. Deanatay

          Anti-Joyce – even Joyce doesn’t suspect her…

        9. Kaoy

          Well I suspect it was the Spanish Inquisition.

        10. Jerden

          What!? Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

        11. JWLM

          Nobody expects the Spanish Missionary Position.

      3. Nono

        Shaggy.

        1. Swerve

          Old Man Withers, who owns the abandoned amusement park?

          Frank Welker?

          MEGATRON! Of course!

      4. thomas0comer

        I’m guessing it’s Jeph Jacques.

        1. Van Dyne

          Pretty sure that he’d be a Whiteboard Buttocks Bandit instead.

          Not THE Whiteboard Buttocks Bandit. Just a Whiteboard Buttocks Bandit.

        2. Ben

          him or Pintsize.

        3. JacHunter

          Definitely Pintsize.

      5. sylvester crow

        More like the Bandick!

      6. artemi

        Guys, it’s clearly Dina. She’s trying to show the world that she can be a social person by interacting with the whiteboards, and drawing bones is all she’s good at.

      7. demon!Dean(idgaf)

        Either “Carla” or Other Rachel.

      8. liahansen

        I still think it’s Sydney Yus

    2. Cephalo the Pod

      Maybe Billie was super drunk, so she forgot?

  4. MrSirk

    Don’t worry Dina comedy is all about trail and error.

    1. Swerve

      Especially when playing “Oregon Trail”. “You have died of dysentery!” Hah!

      1. MrSirk

        I deserved that one. Hah!

        1. Opus the Poet

          Funny typos are funny.

    2. newllend

      The road of comedy is a long and hard one and swear to God by the end of this chapter we’re going to make this comic famous for penis jokes.

      1. MrSirk

        “Long and hard” Man the setups for this arc are way too easy!

  5. Tacdud2

    And Dina retains the number one spot as favorite character.

    1. -Sentinel-

      Are people going to say that after every strip where she appears?

      1. NCP19

        We’ll stop saying it when it stops being true.

        1. Deanatay

          She’s doing really well, too! If she’s gotten to ‘badly repeating other people’s jokes’ she’s already past a lot of poorly-socialized people I know (yes, I seem to attract them).

  6. Yotomoe

    Someone actually Called Billie saying “What’s with these penises everywhere” yesterday.

    1. tinfoil theory

      Want to bet that Billie solves the mystery before AmaziGirl does?

    2. Gigafreak

      I’m psychic!

      I know what you’re thinking!

      You’re thinking that I’m not psychic!

      1. Jerden

        Actually, I believed you at first. But then you proved to me that you’re not psychic.

        Wait, now I’m thinking that you’re not psychic! You know what this means, Gigafreak – you’re not just psychic, you’re FUTURE-PSYCHIC!

        1. Swerve

          I dunno, Psions don’t get good armor proficiencies or hot dogs hit dice. Plus all they do is spam their attacks! And the wurst thing to do is multiclass into Psion (or any other caster class) rather than going straight caster.

  7. Emperor Kiva

    WHAT TOOK YOU BILLIE?!

    1. Swerve

      In her defense, she was in the men’s hall, sleeping in Walky’s bed. She wouldn’t notice anything until she got to the women’s hall. So while she’s late to the party fest, she has an excuse.

      1. newllend

        Ya if anything she’s been around penises all day.

  8. Tanarin

    Oh Dina, we all love you. We really do.

  9. Plasma Mongoose

    It’s not the size of the sausage, it’s the sizzle. 😛

  10. Wonder Wig

    Well it’s definitely not a cock block party hosted by Dave Chappell.

  11. caesaria82

    Can not wait for the lineup of Sausage Festival to be announced.

    1. tinfoil theory

      I’d suggest Conchita Wurst for the opening act.
      It’s only fitting, because wurst means sausage.

      1. caesaria82

        Haha I’m German actually, so I’m well aware of that 😉
        But that is a brilliant idea in any case.

    2. Historyman68

      Red Hot Chili Peppers wearing only these: m.ae.com/web/browse/product.jsp?productId=0235_5020_800&catId=cat1680016

      1. Opus the Poet

        That’s just pepperoni pizza dude, the sausage on that one is thinly sliced.

  12. Chris

    Poor Billie. Looks like things have gone from bad to wurst.

    1. Swerve

      Well, Billie is abusing her liver. 🙂

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Are you suggesting that she’s making liverwurst?

        1. Swerve

          No, I’m implying she’s making her liver worse! Ha! (Hey, human anatomy jokes seem to be big in this comic, so why should the digestive system get left out!)

        2. JWLM

          At this rate, I’m thinking it will be short liver wurst.

  13. Plasma Mongoose

    That joke could have be wurst you know. 😀

  14. Van Jealous

    Penis…sausage….there’s barely a vas deferens between the two.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Weiners, bangers… you might be onto something here.

      1. Googergeiger

        It was semen like there was a difference at first glans, but ultimately I think you’re right.

  15. LimeTH

    Calling it now. The Whiteboard Dingdong Bandit is Dina.

    It makes too much sense. She observed Mike and Joyce’s confrontation over drawing dicks on whiteboards and assumed it was a normal thing people do. She most likely used a permanent marker not knowing the difference between that and a dry erase marker.

    Notice she keeps showing up to make comments about the situation. She’s observing the aftermath of her work. She is confused at everyone’s negative reactions, milks the positive one to Billie, and led Amazi-Girl to Mike because he was her inspiration for doing it, thus in her mind, he’s technically to blame.

    1. Swerve

      I was with you right up until you mentioned Dina not knowing the difference between dry-erase and permanent markers. Dina lacks knowledge of social interaction, not knowledge in general. And given her interest in paleontology, I think she’d have a keen interest in how to mark dinosaur fossils, such as using a permanent marker.

      If Dina is the culprit, she is doing this to teach Joyce a lesson, but didn’t realize how it might spiral out of control. But I’m not convinced Dina is cognizant enough of why Joyce was upset to commit this act of vandalism.

      1. LimeTH

        You underestimate how often people use non-dry erase markers on whiteboards thinking it’ll come off like dry-erase markers do. It’s a common mistake. I’m not calling her stupid.

        1. Swerve

          Hmm, well, I guess even Dina could make that mistake, but she seems so careful when it comes to science! Mixing up dry-erase and permanent markers is the sort of mistake a careless glitch-head like Brainstorm would make! (I’m kidding, I love Brainstorm and his briefcase full of WMDs!) Dina would have used permanent marker intentionally, for the following reasons:

          If Dina is the culprit, she’s doing it to understand why Joyce reacted the way she did when Mike drew the penis on Joyce’s whiteboard. So Dina has a motive, at least for drawing one on Joyce’s board. And drawing them all over the Hall would allow her to observe everyone’s reactions, not just Joyce’s. So yeah, Dina is definitely a suspect. And drawing the penises in permanent marker allows the experiment to continue long enough for Dina to unobtrusively stand around and make mental notes of everyone’s reactions. Had she drawn them in dry-erase, they would have been erased too quickly.

        2. JacHunter

          But wouldn’t Dina have admitted to it when she saw how negative people were reacting? She strikes me as the “honest to a fault” type.

        3. timemonkey

          Dina may not be the most socially aware but I think she knows better than to focuss blame on herself around an angry mob.

      2. timemonkey

        Perhaps she used permanent markers because she knew she could just draw over them with dry erase markers to get rid of them so it stayed there until the joke was done?

        1. Swerve

          Or she knew about various solvents. Either way, I think Dina is my prime suspect now.

  16. newllend

    Damn here I thought Dinas since of humor had developt more.

  17. synecdoche

    “why are there fuckin’ penises drawn on everywhere”

    None of the penises we’ve been shown have been fuckin’…

    1. AgentKeen

      A couple of boards have 2 with the tips touching.

  18. Soap

    Does it say “ultra carla” on carlas door? So shes a fan of the comic about ultra car..

    1. 4th Dimension

      Yup. It even says so on her character sheet.

  19. Ben

    So… I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that Joyce went sleepwalking last night….

    1. newllend

      Holy shit I thought I was the only one thinking that

      1. Deanatay

        Or, she became Anti-Joyce.

        It makes sense, if you think about it. She’s been majorly repressing lately, added to the repression she’s been under her whole life. I’d say she’s due for a split personality emergence.

  20. DSL

    Since her encounter with Ruthless, I will forever wonder whether Dina is, in any given situation, being diffident or sarcastic.
    That only makes it more funny.

  21. Kernanator

    Don’t worry, Dina, jokes are funnier when you tell them a second time; gives the joke time to sink in.

  22. Idon'tcarenomore

    I love it, Dina told a joke.

    Billie’s not the best person to hear a joke now, but what the hey. She’s talking.

    I like the theory that it is Dina. How else to monitor human relationships than to set up a situation where many humans are drawn to interact in a close system?

    And yeah, when she ‘truely’ understands sarcasm, lock up your children, and fill the moat.

    1. Swerve

      A moat won’t keep out the Hydrosaur she’ll be riding. Unless you fill the moat with Sharkticons.

  23. FormerMormon

    What kind of Mormon is Agatha, making that joke?! XD

    I mean it is technically possible for a mormon not to take their religion SUPER SERIOUSLY and not be as tightly wound as Joyce at all times, but speaking as an ex-mo… well, I sure wasn’t that way. I did know people in ‘The Church’ that were, though. I just assumed Agatha was very Joycian. Good for her that she’s at least not at the “oh my god it’s a dangle pretend you don’t even know what it is!” stage though.

    1. neeks

      A Mormon who grew up with brothers, maybe?

    2. Kaoy

      Fundamentalism =/= Mormonism. The former is a sub-sect of the latter, but I have known plenty of Mormons that took their religion seriously but were as up for a good dick joke as anyone else.

      1. JWLM

        Fundamentalism =/= humorlessness. Fundamentalism is a theological position, not a sexual position.

        1. Leorale

          My new favorite sexual position is Reverse Fundamentalist

  24. LeslieBean4Shizzle

    I like the autobiography title. It describes pretty much every comic in the Walkyverse as well. And I mean that as the highest of compliments. ^^

    1. Roborat

      I thought that title would be more appropriate for an omnibus collection of Looking For Group comics.

  25. epershannd

    My two favorites interact!!

    Maybe Dina can offer Billie advice or sympathy. In the form of light physical contact.

  26. Pyr05

    The point is that I understood Dina. And when you’re around enough, it’s not funny.

  27. NinjaNick

    I’d laugh at that. 😛

  28. Mass Confusion

    Oh Dina…. you are just the cutest

  29. CarlaGriffin

    Yes, Billie shall find all of her friends, all of the people that she likes, every single…hm. Joyce? Minions you are moulding into your own image are like friends, right?

    1. tinfoil theory

      They are, when you are having a bad, bad day, and it’s about time that you get your way, steamrolling whatever you see.

  30. Kiggy

    Oh Dina, don’t you ever change! ^_^

  31. CianM1301

    I think we’ve found the title of the next book with that alt-text!

    1. JacHunter

      Agreed.

  32. carl320

    I love sausage festival, like in Vienna!

  33. Cale

    Look at all these horrendous holiday puns! Ugh, Damn You Willis.

  34. airyu

    I don’t get ultra cat and also out looks like out says ultra Carl what???

    1. JacHunter

      What

    2. xKiv

      Autocowreck?

  35. I don't know what to put here.

    YAAAY DINA

  36. Jackson

    Just let it happen, Dina. You’re trying too hard.

  37. Sam

    Huh. I was pretty sure it was Billie who drew all the dicks before going to Walky’s room.

  38. Kelli

    She probably did say it right, but making jokes is so out of character for her that Billie was too surprised to laugh.

  39. Samuel Larkin

    Perhaps Dina could be the ding-dong bandit. Mr. Willis, I trust you to find a way to keep that consistent with her character.

  40. That guy

    That alt text is now the book 4 title. You know you want it to be.

  41. Kai

    Am I the only one who wonders why all these whiteboards are still there? I mean, it’s not like the doors are built around the whiteboard, right? If somebody painted something unsuitable on my whiteboard with a permanent marker, this whiteboard would go to the trashcan immediately.

    Letting it show at the door where it was means that whoever dwells in that room is cool with what is shown at his/her door. So there’s no problem at all. Amazigirl doesn’t have a task and nobody is upset.

    1. Swerve

      But then you’d have to buy a new whiteboard. And shouldn’t the creep who defaced your property reimburse you for the damage? I certainly think so! It’s part of the Autobot Code that I 100% endorse! (Although after Tyrest’s monkeying around with the Code, I hope the section on reimbursement for damage to someone’s bar is still in there.)

      1. Kai

        And why exactly has the whiteboard to stick at the door for that?

        This will also work if you at least remove the thing and hide it somewhere in your room.

    2. Bill

      This just happened overnight, and I believe it’s still fairly early in the morning.  Remember, Walky woke up to find Billie in bed with him and that’s when he went to get Ruth to come back to the room to talk to her.
      And my first impulse would be to try to clean the board, not trash it, so I’d be getting dressed and figuring out what to use to get the permanent marker ink off.  Other people have already posted suggestions, but I think a little rubbing alcohol on a paper towel would probably work too.

      1. Kai

        But still: At least the ladies who already noticed their own door’s been affected could have removed the thing and store it somewhere in their room. Then you have plenty of time to think about the cleaning possibilities.

  42. Tealjoy Berry

    No, no Dina it was funny, probably even funnier than when Agatha said it.

  43. JacHunter

    I have to wonder if Willis gets as much entertainment from our comments (especially the puns) as we do from his comics.

  44. averystrangeplace

    I think the big reveal is that NOBODY drew all the dongs! After all, the cocks were inside of you THE WHOLE TIME.

    1. Jen Aside

      Next comic: the penises are INDEED fucking, with the addition of vaginas and/or assholes

  45. Darnel

    She’s just so CUTE sometimes,…

  46. Arkadi

    Go ahead, Dina ^^ If at first you don’t succeed…

  47. Admiral ChucK

    Joe

  48. Stifyn Baker

    How do we know it’s not Mike? He didn’t actually deny it, just claimed he was getting off on Amber’s justice-themed brutality. She then got uncomfortable and *assumed* it wasnt him.

  49. Rybridge

    To the person that said they picture Dina with Fluttershy’s voice…yes…

  50. Bickendan

    Agatha made the sausage fest joke? The Mormon?!

    She’d fit right in at my ward — not as uptight as Utah Mormons, lol

  51. Just that guy

    Is anyone going to comment on Dina T-Shirt? I mean…

  52. Lawzlo

    The title to your eulogy, man.

    1. Lawzlo

      Okay, I just re-read the comment I just made, and it sounds kinda threatening, so I’d just like to specify that I mean that someday, many years from now, if you die, someone should interrupt your eulogy to make dick jokes. Because, uh, it would be funny?

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