That is … horrifyingly sad. The difference between even the top-flight frozen pizzas and one from a decent brick-oven place is just STARK. Our local biergarten/pizzaria (yes, they brew on-site) makes a five-mushroom pizza on a white sauce base, drizzled with bleu cheese and truffle oil. It will change your life.
Yes but …sometimes the frozen pizza is a MUCH better option.
So far we have ordered from three different pizza Places in my City.
The first one, drowned the pizza in oil so it was really DRIPPING when i lift it up
The second one BURNED the pizza that the entire bottom side was Black.
The Third place got it to me half-cooked, last time i ever use a place that advertises with how “Fast” they delivered.
No thank you, i would even take a simple frozen margarita over them anytime.
davidbreslin101
I’ve had that first one… a place near the bar-crawl route in my town does pizzas where the orange grease crawls slowly up your hand as far as the wrist while you eat.
My girlfriend and I went to Old Town Sacramento last weekend, and I had a pizza slice and she had a salad for lunch. Authentic 1870’s Olde West Pizza. 🙂
Authentic 1870s Olde West pizza?
I presume you mean like they used to serve in those frontier towns like Napoli, Pisa, Roma, and Genoa back in Olde West Italy.
Lunarius Haberdash
They ain’t called spaghetti westerns for nothin’. XD
Mix two cups flour, one cup water, one teaspoon salt one tablespoon yeast, a tablespoon of sugar to help the yeast get started, a dash of oil and knead. Pizza dough takes less than ten minutes to put together just remember to give the dough about two hours to rise. Your first few attempts probably won’t rise as much as you want but it will be usable and you’ll get the knack with repetition.
GreyICE
I’m lazy and just pay the store two bucks for a dough ball.
Works just as well and makes delicious pizza.
Felisd
I’m a huge fan of making my own pizza dough as well. And you’re right, Pilgrim, it’s super easy and fast to put together but the stumbling block for most when it comes to homemade vs. frozen (or pre-made dough from the store) is the two hours to rise (and the ten minutes to knead). It the difference between pizza being a pre-planned “start in the morning to have by lunch” thing as opposed to a “dammit, I don’t really feel like much cooking, and I need to get something together quick or the kids/stomach is gonna scream, ooh pizza!” thing.
Pilgrim
We usually make pizza on weekends. It’s a habit we got into when we lived eight miles past the end of the TV cable. Also canned diced tomatoes work much better than premade pizza sauce. And we do tend to keep a couple of frozen on hand for emergencies like hungry kids.
I buy a frozen plain cheese; pan fry Hamburg and fresh mushrooms; occasionally add spinach and cherry tomatoes and top it all off with another layer of cheese. And yeah, you need a fork and knife to eat it. 😉
I also usually start with frozen plain cheese, although my toppings are usually way different. More likely to be some sauteed garlic and sun-dried tomatoes, maybe some thin-sliced chicken if i’m feeling saucy.
Frozen pizza is so much cheaper than ordering, so I can’t blame you for that. There are some pizza places that start out charging you 12 USD for just a 10 inch, and then charge you whatever they feel like for each individual topping. By the time I get done making one personal pizza it’s 15-17 USD and I still have to get a separate pizza for my husband.
Meanwhile I can pick up a California Kitchen Sicilian pizza for 5.50 and call it good.
Before we moved there was a lovely chain called Mod Pizza that had a brick oven and they specialized in personal pizzas. I haven’t had the chance to see if there’s one nearby yet, so I’ll stick to my frozen pizzas for a while. Both the Pie Five and the Godfathers pizza have shut down, so the options left are not appealing. Though there is a joint called “Toppers” I might check out.
Frozen can be improved immensely just by adding basil and oregano before baking. It won’t measure up to fresh or even starting with a pre-made crust, but the herbs help more than you’d believe.
Ana, no! I’ve got a pizza dough recipe that you can literally make in minutes, since it doesn’t require yeast, it just uses baking powder for leavening. You can top it with store bought sauce, pepperoni, mozzarella, whatever you want, you could literally start making pizza and be done within the hour! And It’s SO much better than frozen pizza! Even if you don’t have a pizza pan, the recipe is designed for a large cookie sheet anyway, because square pizza is better and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. If you or anyone wants me to drop the recipe, I will
Oh god, I typed all the recipe out and then the web page fucked up! Fun times 🙁
Call Me Deacon Blues
Okay, take 2:
This is made with a large baking sheet in mind; feel free to adjust the proportions down as necessary.
Knead together 3 cups of flour, 1 cup of milk, 1/3 cups of oil (olive or a neutral flavored one), 1 1.2 teaspoons salt, 3 teaspoons baking powder. It should be soft but not too sticky, and it’s very forgiving, feel free to mess with the proportions to get it to the desired consistency. Takes about 5-10 minutes.
Spread on a greased baking sheet, it will feel like there’s not enough put keep working it. Have 1 and 1/15 tablespoons of iol, dip your fingers and work it into the dough as needed, spread any excess on top. Takes about 5 minutes
To make sure the crust is cooked all the way through, I like to spread sauce on it now and then bake it in a 425 degree F. oven for about 10 minutes. This is sort of optional, but recommended, especially if you’re going to put a lot of toppings on. Which I do.
Add toppings and cheeses, I recommend pre-cooking things like hamburger and sausage. Cook for about another 10 minutes or so; I never time it, just check on it every few minutes until the cheese it my desired degree of melted and brown.
Cut into squares and enjoy! Unlike most pizzas I’ve ever had, this will warm up in the microwave just fine, and will not be chewy or tough. If you overload with toppings you might need to eat with a fork; this is fine. All told it should be ready within an hour, unless you spend a lot of time cooking lots of toppings. I like to do pepperoni, hamburger, sausage (country, italian, or both), sun-dried tomatoes, bacon or guanciale, plus onions, garlic, and peppers cooked in a red or white wine reduction, and a mixture of mozzarella and provolon cheeses. Also a fan of breakfast pizza, replace the sauce with sausage gravy, top with sauteed mushrooms, bacon, scrambled eggs, cheddar cheese, and top with sunny-side up eggs. Or a seafood pizza, with scampi or alfredo sauce, shrimp, scallops, and crab. Do whatever!
For example, one of the easiest ways to tick me off is by adding too much garlic to “traditional” Italian recipes. I worked under a man who spent 12 years in Italy learning those recipes, they don’t need that much garlic!!!
Rabisch
That’s depend of the dishes. Bagna cauda requires a lot or garlic.
Demoted Oblivious
As does a real aioli.
NotThatDrew
Yes, there’s dishes that do require larger amounts of garlic. I’m specifically talking about ones that don’t require much (if any) garlic. Dishes such as Parmigiana di Melanazane (don’t get me started on how many places I’ve been that insist on adding garlic to their tomato sauce for this) or a nice carbonara where I swear they add 3 or 4 cloves for no reason… drives me insane
khn0
sorry, manic garlic eater her… couldn’t it be that it depends from the type of regional “italian”cuisine… I mean italian doesn’t really mean a thing until late 19th.. and still are contempted by some rumanol speakers or whatev…
like bagna cauda is only a thing “italian” cooks define as italian but wasn’t until piemontese winemakers got hold of a pronvencal recipe… and then only much later when some piemontese defined themeselves as italian…
Also most of “traditional” recipes were either “invented” by court cooks who were rarely from the place the dishes now are thought to originate of, either “collected” by 19th urban floklorists… I don’t know as precisely for Itay as I know for France but our culinary histories are sufficiently intricated (wtf is Provence anyway, or Lombardia) that I know a bit.
For those saying “but the nonna said”, remember those nonnas are as well subject to recreating or remembering thing that didn’t existed, especially when there’s a strong popular link to a social identity to it. Also tomato isn’t even an european product. Nations are constructs, and cuisine a byproduct of their construction.
tl;dr: I agree with Walky there but in a much more pedantic way, that there is no such thing as a traditional recipe nowadays. Unless you go to unaccultured tribes – which rarely write an history of them down, so you can’t even be sure
Demoted Oblivious
Just because the history is a tapestry of interwoven influences and cross connects, does not mean that something is not traditional. Traditions are awesome and provide small social-tribal groups identity and a sense of family and belonging. They are rather vital to our primitive self’s feeling of safety and that should not be neglected. That said, when a tradition goes from welcoming and nuturing, to being about ostracizing or excluding, then it, and the jerk making someone be excluded should be tossed or changed.
khn0
You’re right, I’m sorry I somehow didn’t said what I had in mind what was that tradition used to back up nationalism (for nations competing with each other) is bullshit since what defines a nation is moving and cannot in any way be taken without a grain or salt (or garlic).
Also all traditions are not awesome, but I guess since we have different traditions of interpreting things, then I guess it’s better for me to consider my own tradition as questionable in this sense
there’s a scene in beyblade where a guy talks about how civilized it is to eat pizza with a knife and fork. That scene lives in my head rent free, even though I haven’t seen it in like 5 years.
Just the whole idea of Walky really, hes short, smelly, lazy, has no plans (or clues) about the future, until recently he thought girls were icky, has extremely questionable ideas on masculinity yet in spite of all that this is now the third girl to have fallen for him
Amber and Sal are basically superhuman yet this is probably the most unrealistic aspect of the comic
AlexanderHammil
he’s a college freshman, none of that is all that unusual?
MrSmith
In that case I wish I’d gone to an american college
AlexanderHammil
it doesn’t work for everyone, you have to be a minimum level of outgoing and personable, but walky is both of those things. he’s a twerp, but he’s not a shy twerp or a mean one, and that’s a lot when everyone else is figuring out their stuff, too.
Jamie
Sweet, summer child.
Nono
I think, and this is just speaking from my perspective, it’s also because none of his flaws have really had negative repercussions. He’s failing math? That’s okay, Amber fixed his grades. His diet is terrible? Well he’s been blessed with a metabolism that still gives him some semblance of abs. He’s dirty and smelly? Well he still gets three girls and apparently has shaggy hair so powerful it makes people who intensely dislike him start to think he’s attractive.
His biggest ‘problem’ has been his lack of confidence re: math, which seems pretty low stakes compared to half the other personal problems going on.
AlexanderHammil
also dude got dumped twice by girls he really liked for being a flake, it’s not like he’s had a charmed dating life
Nono
Not really? With Dorothy it was basically a mutual decision since she needed to focus on her studies. With Amber we don’t really know what happened.
AlexanderHammil
he’s a decent person, and recognized that he was a distraction, but he clearly wanted to keep dating her, and he’s still hanging around amber even though she’s been very clear that she doesn’t want him to; whatever happened around Halloween, he doesn’t seem to have been the one to break things up. and regardless of the specifics, his relationships have been intense and short-lived in ways that haven’t made him happy. he isn’t cheerfully bedhopping the way ethan was, say.
Nono
Ehhhh he was ready to break up with Dorothy even if he didn’t want to. And after their break-up, it was Dorothy who re-instigated things every time. At worst his crime then was not firmly setting boundaries with an ex he still had feelings for. He wasn’t perfect there, but I’d put more blame on that section on Dorothy.
AlexanderHammil
he’s doing better than danny—his breakups haven’t had to be quite so blunt—but my point here is that his dating life hasn’t been charmed. he’s gotten hurt because he’s not great at dating, and that’s one of the lifeskills he needs to learn. saying that he’s living the life of riley just because three women dated him over the course of a year is ignoring all that.
AlexanderHammil
also can i just say that it is ridiculous that we’re both joes for this conversation
MrSmith
Joeception?
Joe Angel
Maybe one of you isn’t Joe but a younger Richard Rosenthal.
Leorale
Smelly and lazy, sure, but you’re really listing “short” as something that should be held against him? Wtf?
MrSmith
I guess when you dislike someone you throw everything into the mix though when I was at uni if you were short you better have a great game
AlexanderHammil
don’t have to have game when you’re the prize, not the player, my dude
Demoted Oblivious
Believing you’re the prize and having it work /is/ having great “game”. Y’know, if that’s the approach you want to have with partners.
Thag Simmons
I mean he’s a physically attractive but unintimidating guy, so I get why he’s gotten a lot of attent
3oranges
Walky is smelly? I don’t see wavy lines coming off of him, or people seeming to mind it.
Tawnee
Jennifer once referred to his “funk” iirc. Years and years ago, so I’m not up to the task of finding it however.
Sirksome
I think the smelly comment is just a general assumption based on his history of bad hygiene which is probably the fairest critique you can make of Walky. He does apparently have a wart or something on his taint.
thejeff
I suspect it’s a real thing, but blown massively out of proportion by readers who don’t like him.
244 thoughts on “Rockits”
Ana Chronistic
I just realised it’s been LITERAL YEARS since I’ve had pizza other than frozen
or like, maybe ONCE I impulse-bought a personal pan pizza from Target’s Food Avenue
Doctor_Who
Wow. I don’t think I could survive that long without pizza.
I try to eat healthy these days, but even then once a month I’m getting a pie from my best local place.
Mr D
Not even homemade?
Concolor44
That is … horrifyingly sad. The difference between even the top-flight frozen pizzas and one from a decent brick-oven place is just STARK. Our local biergarten/pizzaria (yes, they brew on-site) makes a five-mushroom pizza on a white sauce base, drizzled with bleu cheese and truffle oil. It will change your life.
Common sense
Yes but …sometimes the frozen pizza is a MUCH better option.
So far we have ordered from three different pizza Places in my City.
The first one, drowned the pizza in oil so it was really DRIPPING when i lift it up
The second one BURNED the pizza that the entire bottom side was Black.
The Third place got it to me half-cooked, last time i ever use a place that advertises with how “Fast” they delivered.
No thank you, i would even take a simple frozen margarita over them anytime.
davidbreslin101
I’ve had that first one… a place near the bar-crawl route in my town does pizzas where the orange grease crawls slowly up your hand as far as the wrist while you eat.
brionl
My girlfriend and I went to Old Town Sacramento last weekend, and I had a pizza slice and she had a salad for lunch. Authentic 1870’s Olde West Pizza. 🙂
Bicycle Bill
Authentic 1870s Olde West pizza?
I presume you mean like they used to serve in those frontier towns like Napoli, Pisa, Roma, and Genoa back in Olde West Italy.
Lunarius Haberdash
They ain’t called spaghetti westerns for nothin’. XD
Needfuldoer
Wouldn’t it be pretty stale by now?
brionl
Naw, they just zapped it in the steam powered microwave and it was all good.
Needfuldoer
Appropriate avatar is appropriate.
Hinoron
I have found Cheese-stuffed crusts in the frozen section and never looked back!
Clif
The best of frozen pizza is just sad. On the other hand, getting a ready-made crust and doing the rest yourself can come out pretty good.
Pilgrim
Mix two cups flour, one cup water, one teaspoon salt one tablespoon yeast, a tablespoon of sugar to help the yeast get started, a dash of oil and knead. Pizza dough takes less than ten minutes to put together just remember to give the dough about two hours to rise. Your first few attempts probably won’t rise as much as you want but it will be usable and you’ll get the knack with repetition.
GreyICE
I’m lazy and just pay the store two bucks for a dough ball.
Works just as well and makes delicious pizza.
Felisd
I’m a huge fan of making my own pizza dough as well. And you’re right, Pilgrim, it’s super easy and fast to put together but the stumbling block for most when it comes to homemade vs. frozen (or pre-made dough from the store) is the two hours to rise (and the ten minutes to knead). It the difference between pizza being a pre-planned “start in the morning to have by lunch” thing as opposed to a “dammit, I don’t really feel like much cooking, and I need to get something together quick or the kids/stomach is gonna scream, ooh pizza!” thing.
Pilgrim
We usually make pizza on weekends. It’s a habit we got into when we lived eight miles past the end of the TV cable. Also canned diced tomatoes work much better than premade pizza sauce. And we do tend to keep a couple of frozen on hand for emergencies like hungry kids.
Ana Chronistic
I did try homemade and botched it so badly it became like unleavened bread with toppings
I then tried premade dough and it STILL somehow didn’t work, basically the same as the homemade
All pizza is bad for me anyway (more than usual), so I don’t even care which I have. Yay dietary restrictions ruining everything ?
Needfuldoer
I want to try grilling a pizza. I’ve got the grill and a pizza stone, but laziness has been a stumbling block…
Lokitsu
I buy a frozen plain cheese; pan fry Hamburg and fresh mushrooms; occasionally add spinach and cherry tomatoes and top it all off with another layer of cheese. And yeah, you need a fork and knife to eat it. 😉
Azhrei Vep
I also usually start with frozen plain cheese, although my toppings are usually way different. More likely to be some sauteed garlic and sun-dried tomatoes, maybe some thin-sliced chicken if i’m feeling saucy.
Concolor44
That sounds excellent.
egg egg
Frozen pizza is so much cheaper than ordering, so I can’t blame you for that. There are some pizza places that start out charging you 12 USD for just a 10 inch, and then charge you whatever they feel like for each individual topping. By the time I get done making one personal pizza it’s 15-17 USD and I still have to get a separate pizza for my husband.
Meanwhile I can pick up a California Kitchen Sicilian pizza for 5.50 and call it good.
Before we moved there was a lovely chain called Mod Pizza that had a brick oven and they specialized in personal pizzas. I haven’t had the chance to see if there’s one nearby yet, so I’ll stick to my frozen pizzas for a while. Both the Pie Five and the Godfathers pizza have shut down, so the options left are not appealing. Though there is a joint called “Toppers” I might check out.
Schpoonman
Oh, I know Mod Pizza! Lived in Denver for a year and every time I went it was great.
Chris (the other one)
We took our kids to a Mod Pizza, and they asked where the pizza’s were…
Charles Spencer
Frozen can be improved immensely just by adding basil and oregano before baking. It won’t measure up to fresh or even starting with a pre-made crust, but the herbs help more than you’d believe.
Call Me Deacon Blues
Ana, no! I’ve got a pizza dough recipe that you can literally make in minutes, since it doesn’t require yeast, it just uses baking powder for leavening. You can top it with store bought sauce, pepperoni, mozzarella, whatever you want, you could literally start making pizza and be done within the hour! And It’s SO much better than frozen pizza! Even if you don’t have a pizza pan, the recipe is designed for a large cookie sheet anyway, because square pizza is better and I will fight anyone who says otherwise. If you or anyone wants me to drop the recipe, I will
Clif
I would be likely to give it a try. Once anyway.
Call Me Deacon Blues
Oh god, I typed all the recipe out and then the web page fucked up! Fun times 🙁
Call Me Deacon Blues
Okay, take 2:
This is made with a large baking sheet in mind; feel free to adjust the proportions down as necessary.
Knead together 3 cups of flour, 1 cup of milk, 1/3 cups of oil (olive or a neutral flavored one), 1 1.2 teaspoons salt, 3 teaspoons baking powder. It should be soft but not too sticky, and it’s very forgiving, feel free to mess with the proportions to get it to the desired consistency. Takes about 5-10 minutes.
Spread on a greased baking sheet, it will feel like there’s not enough put keep working it. Have 1 and 1/15 tablespoons of iol, dip your fingers and work it into the dough as needed, spread any excess on top. Takes about 5 minutes
To make sure the crust is cooked all the way through, I like to spread sauce on it now and then bake it in a 425 degree F. oven for about 10 minutes. This is sort of optional, but recommended, especially if you’re going to put a lot of toppings on. Which I do.
Add toppings and cheeses, I recommend pre-cooking things like hamburger and sausage. Cook for about another 10 minutes or so; I never time it, just check on it every few minutes until the cheese it my desired degree of melted and brown.
Cut into squares and enjoy! Unlike most pizzas I’ve ever had, this will warm up in the microwave just fine, and will not be chewy or tough. If you overload with toppings you might need to eat with a fork; this is fine. All told it should be ready within an hour, unless you spend a lot of time cooking lots of toppings. I like to do pepperoni, hamburger, sausage (country, italian, or both), sun-dried tomatoes, bacon or guanciale, plus onions, garlic, and peppers cooked in a red or white wine reduction, and a mixture of mozzarella and provolon cheeses. Also a fan of breakfast pizza, replace the sauce with sausage gravy, top with sauteed mushrooms, bacon, scrambled eggs, cheddar cheese, and top with sunny-side up eggs. Or a seafood pizza, with scampi or alfredo sauce, shrimp, scallops, and crab. Do whatever!
BBCC
There’s nothing wrong with frozen pizza. My brother eats it semi-regularly.
Sirksome
Wow. That’s an unexpected trigger Walky has.
Kyrik Michalowski
Walky has some strong beliefs, not when it comes to religion or politics, but for food? Hell yeah.
NotThatDrew
As a cook I understand the feeling entirely
NotThatDrew
For example, one of the easiest ways to tick me off is by adding too much garlic to “traditional” Italian recipes. I worked under a man who spent 12 years in Italy learning those recipes, they don’t need that much garlic!!!
Rabisch
That’s depend of the dishes. Bagna cauda requires a lot or garlic.
Demoted Oblivious
As does a real aioli.
NotThatDrew
Yes, there’s dishes that do require larger amounts of garlic. I’m specifically talking about ones that don’t require much (if any) garlic. Dishes such as Parmigiana di Melanazane (don’t get me started on how many places I’ve been that insist on adding garlic to their tomato sauce for this) or a nice carbonara where I swear they add 3 or 4 cloves for no reason… drives me insane
khn0
sorry, manic garlic eater her… couldn’t it be that it depends from the type of regional “italian”cuisine… I mean italian doesn’t really mean a thing until late 19th.. and still are contempted by some rumanol speakers or whatev…
like bagna cauda is only a thing “italian” cooks define as italian but wasn’t until piemontese winemakers got hold of a pronvencal recipe… and then only much later when some piemontese defined themeselves as italian…
Also most of “traditional” recipes were either “invented” by court cooks who were rarely from the place the dishes now are thought to originate of, either “collected” by 19th urban floklorists… I don’t know as precisely for Itay as I know for France but our culinary histories are sufficiently intricated (wtf is Provence anyway, or Lombardia) that I know a bit.
For those saying “but the nonna said”, remember those nonnas are as well subject to recreating or remembering thing that didn’t existed, especially when there’s a strong popular link to a social identity to it. Also tomato isn’t even an european product. Nations are constructs, and cuisine a byproduct of their construction.
tl;dr: I agree with Walky there but in a much more pedantic way, that there is no such thing as a traditional recipe nowadays. Unless you go to unaccultured tribes – which rarely write an history of them down, so you can’t even be sure
Demoted Oblivious
Just because the history is a tapestry of interwoven influences and cross connects, does not mean that something is not traditional. Traditions are awesome and provide small social-tribal groups identity and a sense of family and belonging. They are rather vital to our primitive self’s feeling of safety and that should not be neglected. That said, when a tradition goes from welcoming and nuturing, to being about ostracizing or excluding, then it, and the jerk making someone be excluded should be tossed or changed.
khn0
You’re right, I’m sorry I somehow didn’t said what I had in mind what was that tradition used to back up nationalism (for nations competing with each other) is bullshit since what defines a nation is moving and cannot in any way be taken without a grain or salt (or garlic).
Also all traditions are not awesome, but I guess since we have different traditions of interpreting things, then I guess it’s better for me to consider my own tradition as questionable in this sense
Nono
Joyce and Walky truly are two sides of the same neurotic coin.
Demoted Oblivious
This is Walky’s hill, and Lucy’s wrist will die on it.
Lumino
As a New Yorker, he’s not wrong, but I’m still offended.
Pizza Gatekeeping is our thing.
Only heretics and parents with at least 2 children are allowed to eat Pizza with a knife and fork.
Proto_Eevee
there’s a scene in beyblade where a guy talks about how civilized it is to eat pizza with a knife and fork. That scene lives in my head rent free, even though I haven’t seen it in like 5 years.
Reed
doncha know pally? it’s all about boigah.
AbacusWizard
*gasp* Have da Boiga Bruddahs returned? After all this time?
MrSmith
Hate is a strong word and is overused but I really dislike Walky
Sirksome
How could you dislike a man willing to vocalize such disdain for pizza snobs?! We should all be so lucky as to have such passion and courage.
MrSmith
Just the whole idea of Walky really, hes short, smelly, lazy, has no plans (or clues) about the future, until recently he thought girls were icky, has extremely questionable ideas on masculinity yet in spite of all that this is now the third girl to have fallen for him
Amber and Sal are basically superhuman yet this is probably the most unrealistic aspect of the comic
AlexanderHammil
he’s a college freshman, none of that is all that unusual?
MrSmith
In that case I wish I’d gone to an american college
AlexanderHammil
it doesn’t work for everyone, you have to be a minimum level of outgoing and personable, but walky is both of those things. he’s a twerp, but he’s not a shy twerp or a mean one, and that’s a lot when everyone else is figuring out their stuff, too.
Jamie
Sweet, summer child.
Nono
I think, and this is just speaking from my perspective, it’s also because none of his flaws have really had negative repercussions. He’s failing math? That’s okay, Amber fixed his grades. His diet is terrible? Well he’s been blessed with a metabolism that still gives him some semblance of abs. He’s dirty and smelly? Well he still gets three girls and apparently has shaggy hair so powerful it makes people who intensely dislike him start to think he’s attractive.
His biggest ‘problem’ has been his lack of confidence re: math, which seems pretty low stakes compared to half the other personal problems going on.
AlexanderHammil
also dude got dumped twice by girls he really liked for being a flake, it’s not like he’s had a charmed dating life
Nono
Not really? With Dorothy it was basically a mutual decision since she needed to focus on her studies. With Amber we don’t really know what happened.
AlexanderHammil
he’s a decent person, and recognized that he was a distraction, but he clearly wanted to keep dating her, and he’s still hanging around amber even though she’s been very clear that she doesn’t want him to; whatever happened around Halloween, he doesn’t seem to have been the one to break things up. and regardless of the specifics, his relationships have been intense and short-lived in ways that haven’t made him happy. he isn’t cheerfully bedhopping the way ethan was, say.
Nono
Ehhhh he was ready to break up with Dorothy even if he didn’t want to. And after their break-up, it was Dorothy who re-instigated things every time. At worst his crime then was not firmly setting boundaries with an ex he still had feelings for. He wasn’t perfect there, but I’d put more blame on that section on Dorothy.
AlexanderHammil
he’s doing better than danny—his breakups haven’t had to be quite so blunt—but my point here is that his dating life hasn’t been charmed. he’s gotten hurt because he’s not great at dating, and that’s one of the lifeskills he needs to learn. saying that he’s living the life of riley just because three women dated him over the course of a year is ignoring all that.
AlexanderHammil
also can i just say that it is ridiculous that we’re both joes for this conversation
MrSmith
Joeception?
Joe Angel
Maybe one of you isn’t Joe but a younger Richard Rosenthal.
Leorale
Smelly and lazy, sure, but you’re really listing “short” as something that should be held against him? Wtf?
MrSmith
I guess when you dislike someone you throw everything into the mix though when I was at uni if you were short you better have a great game
AlexanderHammil
don’t have to have game when you’re the prize, not the player, my dude
Demoted Oblivious
Believing you’re the prize and having it work /is/ having great “game”. Y’know, if that’s the approach you want to have with partners.
Thag Simmons
I mean he’s a physically attractive but unintimidating guy, so I get why he’s gotten a lot of attent
3oranges
Walky is smelly? I don’t see wavy lines coming off of him, or people seeming to mind it.
Tawnee
Jennifer once referred to his “funk” iirc. Years and years ago, so I’m not up to the task of finding it however.
Sirksome
I think the smelly comment is just a general assumption based on his history of bad hygiene which is probably the fairest critique you can make of Walky. He does apparently have a wart or something on his taint.
thejeff
I suspect it’s a real thing, but blown massively out of proportion by readers who don’t like him.