146

Rival
Posted on March 31, 2014 by David M Willis

146 thoughts on “Rival”

  1. Vivvav

    And right after they parted in Shortpacked too. Friggin’ A, Willis.

    1. coolhandluke

      As if the differences in this universe weren’t already obvious

      1. Jaxx Sentinel

        I know I’m gonna sound stupid, but Shortpacked Roz and DOA Roz seem pretty much the same to me , hell they’re both camgirls in one way or another.

        1. coolhandluke

          well to be fair all the characters are the same they just have different experiences in certain points in time plus they are younger. Like Ethan still being gay, but knowing Amber as a kid and Joyce still being religiously devoted, but not being abducted. So Roz is the same its just how she would act in college and she also seems to be more promiscuous if anything

        2. Kat

          I do not read any of his other comics – Ethan becomes not gay again?

        3. Danielle

          No-no. They are saying that Ethan is the same in both worlds, because he is gay in both worlds, but different, because he knew Amber as a kid. At least, that’s how I read it as someone who has, in fact, read Willis’s other works.

        4. Cody B

          What Danielle said.

          Although Ethan did not start out gay in shortpacked.

        5. coolhandluke

          thats exactly what i’m saying though he did start out gay just in the closet

        6. dralou

          so closeted, even him didn’t know…

  2. Quatoria

    Oh dear. I’m not sure Sarah even comprehends how you battle against…. that.

    1. Sensedog

      Simple: she just needs to put out first.

      1. Yotomoe

        Are you trying to get into a putting out competition with ROZ?

        1. thecanvashat

          We’re talking about putting laundry out, right?

        2. Hoboturtle

          I know, that’s Rank S Absolute Zone, right there.

        3. Beige

          Nope. Just A

          *Adjusts Hipster Glasses* Rank S requires the legwear coupled with a tsundre attitude and pigtails, both of which Roz lacks.

        4. Yotomoe

          But some people (ie. me) find Tsudere’s incredibly annoying. And pigtails only work with certain hair/body types.

        5. begbert2

          And that changes the classification system how?

        6. Gadgeteer Smashwidget

          Tsunderes are adorable and you should feel bad.

        7. Yotomoe

          Tsundere’s are annoying jerks who are too scared to be honest with other people and I will have no part of it. Call me back when you’re done putting me through your bullshit!

        8. Cody B

          Tsundere’s make me stop watching animes sometimes.

        9. John

          I’m thinking Roz won the “puttin’ out for Jacob” race before Sarah even got off the starting blocks. Maybe lapped her a couple (dozen) times already.

          Hmm. Anyone want to lay odds that that threesome Joe couldn’t quite remember was he and Jacob making a Roz sandwich?

        10. rachel

          THIS IS WHAT I WANT

        11. Ivan

          Well, Rachel, I can get you 66% of the way there! Contact me at “Get Most of What I Want .com” and I’ll be over with a threesome minus one! (Void where prohibited by Larry Flynt, which is nowhere!)

        12. tinfoil theory

          No bet.

          Where was Ethan in all this?

        13. tinfoil theory

          Why do I even ask. Everyone knows he was in the closet.

        14. Undrave

          Willis, make porn of that!

        15. The Wizard

          Thats possible?

    2. Jay Eff

      What, the tie?

      1. Jen Aside

        The glasses, clearly. Geek chic.

    3. thecanvashat

      Fire. Lots of fire.

  3. Tunaro

    I smell a catfight a’brewin’

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Always bring a bat to a catfight.

      1. 3oranges

        But never bring a cat to a bat fight.

        1. StClair

          Selina Kyle might disagree.

    2. Ocbrad1

      Roz may have an easier time with having the sex than Sarah, but if it comes down to a battle for Jacob, Sarah is gonna wipe the floor with Roz.

  4. thecanvashat

    He’s coming to the party because he likes wine and cheese tastings

    1. Doctor_Who

      And discussing the films of Kurosawa and Bergman.

      1. Yotomoe

        As well as deep thought provoking analysis of the social structure of the North American Powers.

        1. Leorale

          What a great party!

        2. Jaxx Sentinel

          and dat ass, mostly that ass though

    2. paradoxius

      Commence Legally Blonde.

  5. Plasma Mongoose

    In the future: Roz VS Sarah Deathmatch.

    1. Bill

      “Back off, bongo — I’ve got a baseball bat and I’m not afraid to use it.”

      1. tinfoil theory

        The things Roz can do with a baseball bat.

    2. newllend

      I can’t help but think that Roz would just jump on sarahs back and try to strangle her in a neck lock.

    3. Deathjavu

      I think Roz would probably make it into something a little different than a fight.

      And then upload the video to a subscription website. Splitting the profits 50/50.

      1. Heimdallw32

        70/30. Roz has to do the editing/uploading etc.

  6. Idon'tcarenomore

    Ah no Sarah…I’m a confirmed hermit, and even I know better than that 🙂

    1. Doctor_Who

      Yeah, at least develop a crippling video game habit like Amber.

      Vigilantism side hobby optional, but sorta preferred.

      1. John

        Sarah’s already a vigilante. Beating a would-be rapist with a baseball bat kind of qualifies.

        1. No Name

          true, but is it a hobby?

  7. Hoboturtle

    On one hand, I actually I Roz and glad that she opened up to Jacob in Shortpacked. On the other hand: You got him in another universe. This is Sarah’s turn.

    1. saltchocolate

      Damn, Roz. Just don’t videotape this one . . .

      1. Doctor_Who

        Pretty sure if she did it would get ten times as many hits as the one with Joe.

      2. ninja_jesus

        …Netorare senses tingling…

    2. Yotomoe

      Yeah but she like…lost him. She was all sad and shit.

  8. Claire

    Roz rocks the purple as well. Poor Sarah.

    1. Yotomoe

      Roz is wearing more of a Blue-Violet.

    2. Leorale

      It’s the thigh-highs and the miniskirt. Despite showing less skin, this combo is sexier than just a miniskirt and bare legs. Nobody knows why.

      I find her presumption a turn-off, but I’m not Jacob, so I guess we’ll have to see. We don’t really know what he likes yet!

      1. saltchocolate

        Anyone want to bet he asks Sarah to come with?

        1. tinfoil theory

          Depends. Would she say yes?

        2. Inarx

          Those gravatars are meant to be.

        3. saltchocolate

          OTP!

        4. Kaiden

          It would only be better if your gravatar were Mike, because we all know he’s the only one who can sort this out.

  9. Yotomoe

    I dunno Roz. Sarah might have you beat. Sarah, step up your pace a bit, let us get a good look!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      How can Roz hope to compete with stories about Joyce?

      1. MM

        Stories about Robin? What they lack in crazy fundamentalism, they probably make up for in plain old crazy.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          You might be on to something.

        2. newllend

          Roz: “My sister once got drunk and passed a law that if anyone where too inpersonated a police officer, vimper, werewolf or alien they would beaten and incarcerated. I tell ya that was the worse halloween EVER.”

  10. LiaHansen

    Favorite character, right there in the last panel.

  11. MightionNY

    Sarah knows how to use a bat.

    Old Testament style.

    1. saltchocolate

      Roz knows how to use a butt. 21st century style.

  12. Plasma Mongoose

    *is loving that Roz rear action*

    1. saltchocolate

      Gotta love the look on Jacob’s face in panel 4!

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        He’s clearly checking them buns out.

        1. No Name

          Well, you heard him, “a girl should be able to check out buts without shame” It is conceivable he feels the same with guys to.

  13. Michael Steamweed

    Oh, no! The plot thickens! But I’ll bet Joyce can help Sarah battle against the Roz-beast. 😀

    1. drs

      The plot, and other things. Unless Jacob calls his “my plot”.

  14. newllend

    Damn just swoop in steal sarahs thunder why dont you? So I guess its going to be Roz vs Sarah for jacobs attention.

  15. Opus the Poet

    Someone was enquiring if Jacob had a sex addiction in this universe as well. It looks like we may get a chance to find out.

    1. Bill

      Looks to me more like Roz is the one with the addiction.

    2. Dean

      He will when Roz is finished with him.

    3. No Name

      That would be me, back when regalli asked whether anyone *didn’t* need therapy or whatever. Jacob was in the list that didn’t, but only if he weren’t a sex addict. If he were, it would bring the list from five to four.

    4. Reltzik

      Maybe this is going to be the storyline about how his sex addiction gets started. LIKING sex is fine and healthy. Addiction is when you pursue it so much that it interferes with the rest of your life. … you know, like hitting the party spots to get laid on a weeknight, when you should be studying for your intensive law degree or at least resting up so that you can be attentive in class tomorrow.

  16. potatoaddict

    Nothing quite like a pose when it comes to try convincing a man what to do…

    I hate it when they do that.

  17. Leorale

    As long as Jacob likes poofy hair, he wins either way!

    1. thecanvashat

      So Sal?

      1. John

        He’s got to get her hot and bothered first.

        1. thecanvashat

          Like Jason?

  18. Anderhail

    Ooohhh… maybe Sarah can recruit Mary for assistance against Roz.

    …And now, I feel shame. So. Much. Shame.

    1. Evan

      A deal with Mary is a deal with SATAN INCARNATE!

      1. No Name

        Nonononono, It would be a deal with BAPTIST incarnate, you know, with all the hypocritical righteous indignation. Not that I have anything against Baptists, I’m just going on a common, and probably wrong, American stereotype.

  19. Gram91

    I smell bad mouthing at the expense of Joyce’s privacy that actually matters to Sarah.

  20. Pyr05

    The ass… it… it is non-existent!

    1. nothri

      No, I’ve seen donkeys. I know they exist.

  21. Cholma

    Oh, Sarah. You had me at “sitting in your room alone” and lost me with “mouth guard.”

  22. nothri

    So as of now I’m convinced Sarah’s isolation has less to do with feeling ostracized from the whole world and more to do with how she apparently is terrible at human interaction when boning is on her mind. I mean, yeeesh, I thought Joyce and Danny were bad at this, but I’ve found my new number one.

  23. EvergreenFir

    daymn…

  24. Evan

    Considering Roz blew off Joyce’s incident with that Ryan guy, Sarah now has extra reason to murderize her 😀

  25. Batman

    Sarah is right on the money with this one.

    And then, after you are done fuming at the world from a darkened room, you can go out and batpunch the world to make it stop being stupid.

    I find fuming at the world so much more cathartic when done from the security of a non-structural gargoyle and accompanied with some violent venting of my unresolved childhood issues on petty criminals.

    1. Batman

      …I’m sorry, you wanted to talk about the comic?

      Fine. Sarah, if he’d wanted to be with Roz, he wouldn’t have been ignoring her invitation. He did, however directly express his interest in YOU.

      A provocative pose or two isn’t a substitute for a likable personality.

      1. John

        The question is whether a hilarious roommate is a substitute for a likable personality.

        1. Rutee

          Why would Sarah need a substitute for a likable personality?

        2. John

          She tries awfully hard to not have one.

          And fails, IMAO, but probably many people don’t appreciate her misanthropy. A number of people in these very comments seem convinced that she’s a terrible person because she’s making true statements about Joyce.

        3. No Name

          I don’t. I think she’s terrible (in the personal sense, not the character sense) because she is incapable of opening up, even before the whole Dana episode. It is not a very good attitude to have on the world, but probably a necessary one given her upbringing (she’s a scholarship kid, remember). For the first time since Dana, things are going her way, and she can’t cope with it. When she started talking smack about Joyce, I actually felt happy for her, especially since she stood up for her (however briefly), and because she needed to be open. And now Roz has swooped in, being all sexy-like, and has a very real chance at crashing everything around her. What will she do? Will she curl up in a ball and hide from the world, as she has done before? Will she lash out and cause trouble, as she has done for Joyce? Or will she do the reasonable thing and stand up for herself with hurting people and breaking things, as she had done for Dana at the expense of her friendship with Raidah? Only time, or Willis, will tell.

        4. No Name

          withOUT hurting people and breaking things. Sheesh

        5. Starscreamer

          But it’s much more entertaining when it’s WITH the hurting people and breaking things.

        6. Jack Finch

          (cue cheesy organ)
          Will love and man-candy triumph over Sarah’s misanthropy
          Would Roz “share” Jacob.?
          We’ll find out (eventually).

  26. Alan Lafond

    What is wrong with yesterday’s comic? I thought maybe it would be fixed after rollover, but it still won’t load. I can see Saturday’s strip, and I can see today’s strip, but the Sunday strip won’t load. It doesn’t give me a broken link icon, but doesn’t load either. It shows the alt-text in place of the comic. Am I the only one who has been unable to read it?

    1. Cholma

      Guessing it’s just you. When you click on the comments, you still can’t see the image? Direct link to image is here: http://www.dumbingofage.com/comics/2014-03-30-onions.png

      1. Alan Lafond

        Yeah, I tried viewing comments, and same issue. When I go to the direct link, all I get is a blank page with the URL of the image printed where the image would normally be located. It basically responds as though the file does not exist or something.

        1. ninja_jesus

          Can you see this?

        2. Alan Lafond

          Yes, I was able to see that one. Thanks! 🙂

          Still a mystery why it’s not loading from its usual place, but I guess I won’t bother at this point, since I was at least able to read it now.

        3. ninja_jesus

          It’s still worth looking into, in case future problems exist. Have you tried clearing your cache?

  27. rachel

    GDAMN GGGGDAMN

  28. an

    ughhhhh more roz.

    ignore herrrrr jacobbbbb. let’s not go through shortpacked! all over again. i beg of you.

    1. Deathjavu

      I dunno, that particular relationship barely happened in SP! Crashed and burned almost as soon as we (the audience) were privy to it.

      Heck, I’d argue we saw more of that relationship in SP! within the short storyline from last week than we did before then, and it was only 3 strips.

      1. timemonkey

        That’s because they didn’t really have a relationship. Jacob had a serious problem and Roz was dismissive of it and taking advantage of him. She wanted a relationship but that’s not what she had.

        1. Deathjavu

          Relationship as in “this is how these two characters have interacted with each other”, not relationship as in “these two characters were romantically entangled.”

          Although you could make a case for the latter, depending. It’s not what I meant though.

  29. Bilfred

    Lol is all I could think.

  30. Peruhain

    Roz. Erm . . . complete with cameltoe.

    1. John

      Pretty sure that’s just the inside front of her belt skirt.

    2. David M Willis

      Never underestimate the insatiable desire to call out cameltoe regardless of likelihood of actually being cameltoe, just for the fun of pointing out cameltoe.

  31. TaintedSpud

    Guys guys guys… You’re ignoring the obvious solution.

    Oreo cookie.

    1. Rutee

      Wouldn’t that require a white person?

      1. Deathjavu

        I hear they come with chocolate filling as well these days.

      2. ninja_jesus

        Skin tone-wise, Roz is paler than either Jacob or Sarah.

  32. Tomas

    Panel one… Borderless grasping hand! Flashback! Knife! Trauma!

    Oh, wait, it’s just Roz, ruining everything forever. Damn, but I do love the waistcoat look. Argyle thigh-highs? Oh, Willis, how did you know…

  33. SilverArrowArtemis

    Make your move or you’ll lose him! Stop being so goddamn awkward!

    Status: Fuming

    1. No Name

      You sound like your talking to yourself. Given that this was at 2 in the morning, I don’t blame you.

  34. Kernanator

    No party is complete without a fighter, rogue, wizard and cleric.

    1. No Name

      Which is which?

      1. Heimdallw32

        Sarah is obviously Fighter, Roz is Rogue, and Jacob is Wizard, so that makes Joyce the Cleric (too obvious, perhaps?).

        1. Zach

          Look at that beefcake. Jacob is soldier, Roz is a thief, Joyce is a monk, and Sarra is an assassin. It’s ok if they have poor team comp at they haven’t really decided on teams yet.

          Who but Mike could be a sorcerer, with his wicked incantations. The Faz?

  35. Saru

    Even as a joke, Sarah…..

  36. Ry

    Sarah: GPOY

  37. Jimmy

    Oh Sarah *facepalm*

  38. David

    Well, good thing Joyce dressed Sarah.

  39. Cattus

    ahhhhh! I can’t keep track of all the story arcs…….ahhhhhhh!

  40. ChaoticCandy

    Doesn’t matter what universe, I always want to smack Roz.

  41. caesaria82

    I actually like Roz a lot, but dammit, her timing here is not great lol.

  42. Skeptible

    Mouth guard! That’s what I’ve been doing wrong.

  43. stainedglassdeity

    I feel like Roz may invite Sarah for a threeway, when and if the time comes. Not beyond her, she’s awesome like that.

  44. Rust

    I doubt Roz did that on purpose, but damn. I never liked when people flirted with guys I liked (which is obviously dumb, but you know, college jealousy) but the whole “hey theres a party! I’m telling this person near you about it. I will not address you in any way, because you are nothing to me.” bothers me. I mean, in the strip, obviously she wouldn’t invite a stranger! And in the strip, she probably isn’t intentionally being rude…

    But a part of me wonders: did she see Jacob with Sarah and run over to claim her territory, so to speak? Is that the kind of thing she would do? I don’t THINK so, but.

    Basically my personal experiences make this strip soooo much harder to read without getting pissed at Roz.

  45. Meygaera

    Roz is rockin’ that Zettai Ryouiki

  46. maycroft

    she moves the body like a cyclone

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