171

Trash can
Posted on June 4, 2013 by David M Willis

171 thoughts on “Trash can”

  1. AgentKeen

    I am thankful that I’ve never had to be in the position of being thrown up on, except by myself.

    1. HK-A6A7

      It’s not a good experience…
      I lost a good shirt that day :'(

      1. Skull025

        Was it a good shirt?

        1. Skull025

          Allow me to elaborate, as that comment could be taken as repetition. I ask again: Was it a REALLY good shirt?

        2. GoldStarz

          Was the good shirt good?

        3. Yotomoe

          As far as good shirts go, it was the goodest.

        4. HK-A6A7

          Yes it was…
          Beautiful white color, comfy, with enough space for my manly upper torso and 100% cotton.

          Nowadays it’s pretty hard to find one of these near home, all I see are shirts with ugly colors and pictures.

        5. AgentKeen

          That does sound like a good shirt.

        6. Chronos

          RIP:

          Good Shirt

        7. 6Qubed

          The good shirt got ripped.

          It has been ungooded.

        8. Led

          mmm I have a bunch of black shirts like that… the kind of shirt a man finds only once in his lifetime…. and the kind of shirt he will spend the rest of his life looking for again.

    2. BrotherFlounder

      Ditto, though it’s been a near thing sometimes.

      1. Ivan

        Oh… who hasn’t thrown up into the foul smelling crotch of Cambodian whore at least a few times, ya know? Am I right or what?

    3. Gareth

      Did someone say Goodshirt?

    4. Scott

      I’ve only ever been thrown up on by cats. It’s gross but I’m sure human puke is evn worse. Especially booze puke.

    5. Aydr

      Jealous. Though perhaps worse than vomit on you is when someone who’s been throwing up for hours tries to kiss you….

  2. Skull025

    Okay, Ruth’s alive, and has semi-decent aim. Yay!
    Ya know, this reminds me of that one QC strip, way back when. Totally different context, but I can’t help remembering it.

    1. Saru

      I totally thought the same thing. Different context though, how so? (tsk tsk tsk)

    2. Kernanator

      Needs more headbutting.

    3. Jackson

      A drunken alcoholic barfing into the lap of someone she wants to bang but hasn’t. What’s the difference?

      1. AgentKeen

        Also, she has issues in her past that she isn’t forthcoming of that also may be influencing the not banging decision (and, possibly, they are daddy issues).

      2. Kernanator

        As I said before, it’s missing a headbutt.

        1. Jackson

          The day’s not over.

    4. Null Set

      http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=185 for reference.

      1. JustcallmeSoul

        i remember this vividly.

        1. Yes Son, I Am Space

          So does Marten. Faye, not so much.

  3. Z3tto

    It seems that Ruth is a big fan of the third option.

    1. Chronos

      For Ruth, Billie’s lap is always a “first” option.

      1. Mr. Morningstar

        ho ho! Iseewhatyoudidthere

  4. fishamaphone

    I feel like Billie’s lap is *never* one of the options.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Ruth just chose to invoke the ‘Take The Third Option’ trope.

      1. Yotomoe

        Maybe she is too out of it to insult Billie so this is her way of calling Billie a trash can.

        1. Hermitix

          She was actually aiming for the trash can but all of Billie’s fat just got in the way.

  5. xain

    Billie why should a fire fighter get all the fun of carrying her out in a dramatic fashion you should do it yourself

    1. xain

      on the other hand suggling under her bed is also a very compelling option

      1. Yotomoe

        Depending on your upper body strength, you can do both.

        1. Josh

          Holy crap, this needs to happen! xD

  6. Plasma Mongoose

    Laps are popular vomit targets in a number of webcomics.

    1. GoldStarz

      Obviously in the webcomic universe, people are taught to throw up in laps as a second option if one is not near a toilet.

    2. dethtoll

      As opposed to Garth Ennis’ Hitman series, where it was Batman’s shoes.

  7. Kernanator

    Then don’t put it in front of her!

    It’s like putting candy in plain sight in front of children.

    1. Yotomoe

      Or beer in front of a Billie.
      Or a bible in front of a Joyce.
      Or a English TA in front of a Sal.

      1. SUGauthor

        Or your mom holding a nickel in front of Mike.

        1. AsimovSideburns

          Okay, I always thought it was MIKE who gave YOUR MOM a nickel for sex.

          Because your mom is a prostitute.

        2. Aydr

          Billie’s plan seems to be forgetting the fact that she kicked down the door…

        3. Aydr

          This comment is not supposed to be here.

        4. SUGauthor

          It is, I phrased it that way because it flows better.

  8. SUGauthor

    Ruth’s fine, I feel better.

    1. Doctor_Who

      For a very limited definition of fine.

      1. SUGauthor

        She’s not dead, that’s all I care about.

        1. Sock

          Ehh…as long as she’s still warm it counts.

  9. Yotomoe

    at least wasn’t your FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE.

    1. Kernanator

      Yeah, she could have had projectile vomit into her mouth.

      Not that I have experience with such things.

      1. Yotomoe

        Ew.

      2. Undrave

        Dorothy does…

        1. Yotomoe

          Eww.

  10. Lokitsu

    Sorry Billie, a nearby lap is ALWAYS one of the options.

  11. swk3000

    Weird. For me, it’s 9pm, but this comic is already up. I wonder what time it went up where Wilis is?

    Also, I see Willis has been watching the Comments for his dialogue again.

    1. David

      *facepalm*

      1. Kernanator

        You will never escape.

        1. David

          Y’know, I knew it was a futile gesture, putting that “BUFFER WATCH” thing over on the left, but really, I wish it weren’t proved so often.

        2. AgentKeen

          Every group has its conspiracy theorists, even webcomic commenters, I guess.

          (To be fair, even after knowing it existed, I sometimes have a hard time seeing it because of placement).

        3. Kernanator

          “This story is not an end yet. Because only you are in the infinity loop.”

          Seems fitting. Just replace story with ignorance.

        4. Bekah

          You should put an obnoxious flashing arrow pointing to it right next to it, or below it. Maybe a little dancing Amber, too. Just to show how smug you are about not stealing from your commenters.

        5. Alyssa

          Just make sure it’s a slow flash because photosensitive epilepsy is a thing and seizures are suck.
          (Not me, but a couple of good friends.)

        6. Morgauxo

          Really? How did they survive the 90s? </blink>

        7. dropded

          I said the exact same thing in another forum. You must have just copied my post.

        8. swk3000

          If it makes you feel better, I was actually joking. Probably should have put a little face there. Sorry about that.

        9. Kernanator

          That would have been helpful to know.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      A new DoA comic appears at 00:01 New York time each day

    3. Jackson

      Don’t be silly he obviously stole this from QC.

  12. JBO

    The funny thing is one of my friends once had this happen to him once.
    I was sleeping over at his and was completely wasted. He offered me his trash can. Instead I vomited all over his mattress. Not one of my prouder moments….

    1. Narf

      During my first experience with hard liquor (at an age far, far too young to be drinking any alcohol, especially hard liquor), I went to the bathroom and sat on the toilet, needing to pee and thinking to myself “there’s no WAY I’d get it in the bowl right now.” A moment later, I felt very queasy. I’ll remind you, I was at this time sitting on the toilet.

      What did I do, you ask? Leaned forward and puked all over the bathroom floor, of course. People drunk enough to puke don’t make consistently logical choices. 😛

  13. Ten

    Of course, this just gives Billie a reason to take off her pants.

    Well, played Ruth. Well played.

    1. Yotomoe

      Billie’s wearing short shorts. Billie would probably have to take off her skin.

      1. Undrave

        Or bring Ruth to the shower room, EVEN BETTER!

  14. Wonder Wig

    She took the third option and lost her fourthmeal.

  15. GoogerGeiger

    Wait a minute. Have Ruth’s eyes always been green?
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Nope. I guess green eyes just means poised for puking.

    1. Yotomoe

      Her eyes are green?

      1. slicedtoad

        yeah, compare the color to here eyebrows

      2. slicedtoad

        her*

      3. begbert2

        She’s a redhead – of course her eyes are green.

        1. icepyrox

          I’m just amused that we can see she has green eyes in the semi-dim light of her room, but in bright sunlight we couldn’t see any such coloring. I guess her glasses somehow alters color?

  16. Sporky

    Is this David Willis’s homage to Questionable Content?

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      If Billie is Marty, does that make Ruth Faye?

      1. Yotomoe

        …I….I can see that.

        1. Narf

          You can? Billie has WAY too much confidence to make a convincing Marten, IMO. 😛

      2. Totz the Plaid

        Makes me wonder who’ll end up being Angus…

        1. Kernanator

          Clearly it’s whoever she has an antagonistic relationship with. So that narrows it down to, what, 10% of the campus? At a minimum?

          Either that, or Sal.

        2. Plasma Mongoose

          Angus? My guess would be Joe, also Dina would make a good Hannelore.

        3. Chronos

          Then who would make a good Pintsize?

        4. Yes Son, I Am Space

          Joe is definitely Pintsize.

        5. John

          Faz.

        6. Plasma Mongoose

          Pintsize? Walky maybe??

        7. Tom Speelman

          Nah. Pintsize is too sex-obsessed to be a Walky analogue. I think really, Pintsize is Joe. That being said, a Joebot would be a HORRIBLE idea. Funny, but horrible.

        8. turbanous

          Joe would be Sven, as both of them are constantly having sex. At least Sven was before Faye broke him. Potential Joe/Ruth relationships internets you have a new job.
          As for who would be Angus, I don’t think we have seen enough of Ruth with other people to make a comparison.
          If we are looking for Pintsize we have to look no further than Mike. True we haven’t seen him obsessed with sex, but clearly full of mayhem for his own purposes.

    2. NightmareWarden

      So does this mean Amazigirl (or Amaziboobs) is this universe’s version of the Vespavenger? She made Marten feel, to quote him, “Pain level…Shatnerian…in…intensity”.
      I don’t think Amazigirl is above using a groin attack against criminals.
      Or a neutering knockout.
      Or a hadoken to the ha-has.
      Or a kick to the caramel cajones.

      1. turbanous

        Amazigirl, is Pizza Girl instead of delivering pizza’s he delivers Justice and carries multiple electronics.
        Amber on the other is so clearly Marigold, especially see how Mike and Ethan had to drag her away from her computer to ensure she ate dinner.

  17. Plasma Mongoose

    Techicolour yawns: Allowing you to ‘taste the rainbow’ a second time.

  18. Iggzy880

    In a way, Billy’s lap was always Ruth’s aim

  19. Ragnal

    Shouldn’t have moved the can on her then, Billie, duh.

  20. Uniqueantique

    Then there was my brother and his good buddy who were at a third friends room, and during the course of the evening festivities, mixed beer with wine. None of them were educated at that time re: don’t mix booze types.
    One of them didn’t quite make it into the bathroom, and vomited all over the third guys basket of fresh laundry, it was right in his path.
    Back in the day, when said fresh laundry was 100% cotton and needed to be ironed, yes it had been ironed and neatly folded.
    Sooo, while mourning one shirt, think of his entire wardrobe…..

    1. slicedtoad

      “mixed beer with wine” I truly hope you don’t mean they actually mixed them into a single drink.

      1. Narf

        I believe the intended meaning is “consumed beer and wine during the same binge.”

  21. Comrade

    Ruth appears to be channeling Faye Whitaker.

  22. tb

    Hey, Billie, if you’re offering her a bucket to throw up in, and you think she might take her up on that offer, why would you randomly lift the bucket away from her face? Seems like kind of a bad idea.

  23. Tom Speelman

    Man, maybe I’ve been rereading QC too much, but Ruth acts a lot like Faye here…

  24. Dr. Zeus

    You know, as much as I can’t support Ruth as she’s a Leafs fan, I do really want her and Billy to be happy together… so I have a ship sue me.

  25. LBD "Nytetrayn"

    Silly Billie, the lap is always an option! Sometimes even the first!

  26. Arkadi

    It was always your lap, Billie ^^

  27. JepMZ

    all the the girls in the world who drank too much and throw up must be a part of Faye’s hive mind 9_9

    I didn’t even know Faye’s endearing famous trait is being a drunk.

    1. John

      She’s violent, too! Obviously the same person as Ruth.

      1. begbert2

        All drunk or violent characters were ripped off from Faye. This fact extends back through time at least to Elizabethan times, if not earlier.

        1. John

          And what about the square glasses? Answer me that, Mr. Green Lantern!

  28. rachel

    omg “and you won’t get to call me fat any more” is the kind of thing you say during something awful that you are trying to joke about, like saying “heh.. well, at least we won’t apologize to the neighbors any more about all barking” after your dog dies 🙁

  29. NightmareWarden

    In an alternate universe, stomach acid stays super dangerous AFTER throwing up. If you ever get puke on your lap, remember that it COULD BE BURNING THROUGH YOUR LAP.
    Babies are also considered a dangerous combination of chemical warfare and midrange projectile launchers.

    1. NightmareWarden

      Can someone help me come up with a catchy way of phrasing that last part for future description of babies?

      1. Kernanator

        Vomiting warbabies?

        1. Ivan

          >>> midrange projectile launchers

          Those would be called Vagino-Uterine Portable Launch Batteries.

          They just take way too long to reload the batteries – unless your intent is to be FAR out of range when it’s time to launch!! 😀

  30. Brando

    Someone called this out 2 strips ago.

    1. begbert2

      Well, obviously. It’s a rule of fiction that if a person is drunk, they’ll puke, and if the work is at all a comedy, they’ll puke on some other person. It’s practically a law.

      1. John

        My experience as Designated Making Sure No One Comes Home With A Tentacle Guy tells me it’s just truth in fiction.

        1. Ivan

          That’s a bad designation.

          I’d rather be designated as the guy who grows tentacles.

        2. John

          I’m holding out for the laser vision.

  31. nothri

    Oh, way to screw everything up, Ruth. Now your hatecrushes’ clothes are covered in vomit, maybe yours too. Now the only possible way to exercise option 1 and hide together under the bed would be to strip down to your skivvies or less and…..

    and…..

    Well played, Ruth. Well played.

  32. Audiophillie

    God, I cannot imagine how much that alarm is hurting poor Ruth’s head right now.

  33. John

    The juxtaposition of this with the Rule 34 incentive starring these same two girls in the alternate universe is kind of surreal.

    Tangentially, how old is DoA Ruth? (Is her drinking violating the law, or just college rules, I’m mostly wondering.)

    1. Groove

      I imagine it’s breaking crazy American drinking laws?

    2. David

      Dumbiverse Ruth is 20.

      1. Ivan

        How could she be 20, when R/As are typically grad students? Are you suggesting she’s a prodigy?

        1. Rheinman

          At my University, (more years ago than I’d care to admit) the R/A’s were just upperclass students (sophomores or higher) while the person in charge of the dorm, including overseeing the R/A’s, was a grad student or otherwise reponsible adult.

        2. David

          RAs are not typically grad students.

  34. Groove

    I started today wondering how Billie actually got into the room, not realising that Sunday updates have started.

    Free comic!

  35. Aydr

    So I have to wonder, reading all the comics that keep popping up…

    You guys do remember that Willis said nobody was going to die in this comic, right?

    1. DSL

      I have never seen a comment section — any comment section — that allowed itself to be swayed by truth, Word of God, actual IRL events, or anything. Like a particularly noxious polluted lake or river, it does what it does, and all you can do is your best to stay out of the way.

    2. Luzahn

      Well, I think he said Ruth and Dina were not planned to die, presumably to offset concerns that deaths from the other universe would affect this one.

      People may still die, like Tony, just not because of something in the other universe.

  36. GUIGUI

    Okay, how did she miss the bucket? assuming she only lifted it after Ruth threw up, it was like, just beneath her mouth. Did she had a spasm and accidentally pushed it away?

    1. Aydr

      …You ever been alcohol poisoning drunk? Or been around someone who is? Her head could be in the trash can and she still might miss it.

  37. Null Set

    BROOP

  38. mr. doc

    Unless she was recently drinking, which seems unlikely from her initial unconscious state, having her throw up and then hiding is actually one of the worst things you could do for her, as by then most of the alcohol would be in her system and vomiting would only further dehydrate her and potentially make her more sick.

  39. Ryorin

    Things I’ve learned today: all DoA readers also read/used to read QC. Pretty educational for before 5.

    1. turbanous

      If it weren’t for Questionable Content I may not have learned of Willis, or Butts Disease.

      1. Neospector

        Momo is the reason I’m nice to machines.
        Pintsize is the reason I keep close tabs on my toaster.

    2. Darth Cariss

      I read never any of QC until well after I started reading Shortpacked!, and even then it was only because it got linked to a few times. I never really got into it, too many weird non-human characters for me. I got into Shortpacked! Because somebody linked me to it a super long time ago. I think it was for the Batman breathes in space comic or something like that.

      Ever since, I’ve made a point to not read It’s Walky or Roomies for fear of being no longer being that ever trusty Shortpacked fan who hasn’t read the original comics and needs things to be explained. Dumbing of Age is its own universe though so I’ve read this from the start.

    3. Animal

      Used to be that Roomies/It’s Walky! readers also read/used to read Avalon.

      Those were the days. Ah, those were the days.

  40. ablablabla

    She deserves to get fired.

    1. bunivasal

      Oh, absolutely. Pretty much every single thing we’ve seen her do has been a warrant for her to get fired.

  41. ninja_jesus

    NO! I JUST CAUGHT UP WITH THE WHOLE SERIES SINCE LEARNING OF ITS EXISTENCE 5 HOURS AGO YOU CAN’T STOP NOW! I NEED THIS~

    Oh well, time to read everything else David Willis has done in the mean time. To Roomies!

    1. xain

      sir you have learned why many fans find them saying DAMN YOU WILLIS!!

      1. xain

        so … yeah … welcome to the club

  42. Cody B

    Ruth is altering the deal. Pray she does not alter it further.

    1. djhash

      It will be altered under the bed. All snuggly and tight! If you know what I mean!

      1. ASmellyOgre

        Vomit-soaked and hiding from people who are clearly going to check the missing RA’s room which has a smashed open door and smells of alcohol and vomit. Real snuggly, alright.

  43. hmrc4evr

    I know this will start a firestorm if ire ( as opposed to Firestorm The Nuclear Man ) but I have a theory about Amazi Girl’s identity no one has mentioned:

    Amazi-Girl….is Amber!

    1. spaceinvader42

      What? That’s obviously ridiculous. How could Amazi-Girl be Amber? I mean, Danny has a crush on Amazi-Girl, but he’s just friends with Amber. I think if they were the same person he would have noticed. Duh!

  44. Red Robot

    No more tears! She must have willed them back into her eyes as soon as she regained some consciousness. I feel relieved: Given the unpleasant choice, I’m much rather deal with Ruth’s booze-vomit than with those subtly scary tears.

  45. Baker

    Seems like they are screwed. The door is obviously broken and there is alcohol all over. Even if for some reason they manage to not be found under the bed, Ruth is likely busted. That whole area will probably be checked even more thoroughly than usual just because it was the area where the alarm was set off.

    I am glad Ruth is alive though, and maybe this will help her not self destruct again knowing that Billie gives a damn about her.

  46. Aaron Bourque

    ANY chance she can to sexually harass Billy!

    1. John

      If you consider puking on someone to be sexual harassment, I think you’re doin’ it wrong.

    2. Somebody

      Yeah, seriously…wtf?

  47. Somebody

    I know this isn’t the best time, but she looks hotter without glasses.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      You need to hand in your Geek Card for that comment. 😛

  48. Narf

    HURRK!

    (I’m glad Ruth’s still alive)

  49. Jay

    Even when on the verge of alcohol poisoining related death, she still goes for Billies lap. Awww :’D
    But no really Ruth should be going to a hospital anyways

  50. brionl

    When I worked at computer repair, a DJ brought in his laptop that somebody else threw up on (he worked mostly in bars). Had to replace it, but we were able to copy the data to his new computer.

  51. Terabiel

    Awwww! Billy cares! Les Yay!

  52. Maycroft

    “Screw you, I choose door number three”

  53. Connnor

    In all seriousness, the hospital is probably the right choice in this situation. I think we’re past the point of trying to hide the booze.

  54. Sock

    Two girls one bucket.

  55. Mooninaut

    A classmate threw up in my lap when I was in grade school.

    I mean, actually in school.

    During class.

    Turns out being a vegetarian has tangible benefits in terms of avoiding food poisoning. Unfortunately, not in terms of avoiding the results of other people’s food poisoning.

  56. Airyu

    is that billie’s arm holding up the bin in the last panel? why is her arm so skinny?

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