Peener
Posted on July 8, 2014 by David M Willis
My guest week is still running over at Girls With Slingshots as Danielle travels across the country! Also, the Dumbing of Age Patreon hit $1k yesterday!   Just under $500 more until Patreon pledger folks get a bonus monthly DoA strip.  Until then, they merely get tomorrow's strip early.  Pfffft, whatever.

302 thoughts on “Peener”

  1. Jen Aside

    TWIST: It’s Blaine

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Blaine: “I am your father, search your feelings, you know it is true”.

      AG: “Die mutherfuck, DIE” *STARTS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF HIM*

      1. Yotomoe

        Amber and Dina, Rick & Morty style.

        1. Robert

          Don’t you mean Mork and Mindy?

        2. Yotomoe

          no.

        3. RevenantBacon

          He’s referring to this how on cartoon network/adult swim called Rick and Morty -> http://video.adultswim.com/rick-and-morty/

      2. Aizat

        I just imagined Blaine getting beaten up with that one song from Office Space where they are beating that printer blaring in the background.

        1. nekobawt

          damn it feels good to be amazigirl?

        2. RoberJolt

          “PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean?”

      3. Rosicrucian

        Well, Blaine is one of two known people who’ve fucked Amber’s mom.

    2. KingMabel

      Blaine is best worst character

      1. RevenantBacon

        Unless you count Disney, then Cruella DeVille is the best worst character.

        1. Bruceski

          The correct answer is “anyone voiced/played by Tim Curry.”

        2. Robin

          Well now I want a live-action adaptation of DoA, with Blaine played by Tim Curry.

        3. Marisa Mockery

          No, wouldn’t work. We’d be either fangirling or laughing our asses off instead of being scared.

        4. Rutee

          Or angry. When’s the last time you wanted a Tim Curry character beaten like Blaine deserves to be? The rest of you, specifically, because I fuckin’ hated the doctor in The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

        5. Robin

          I did wish physical harm to G. Gordon Godfrey in Young Justice, although not quite as much as Blaine deserves.

        6. Katherine

          Now I want to see Cruella DeVille played by Tim Curry.

        7. StClair

          yeah, I thought that too.

          He could probably do it.

    3. Aizat

      “It’s me, Amazi-Girl”
      “Oh, son of a bongo!”

    4. LiaHansen

      TWIST: it’s Joyce sleepwalking and expressing her unconscious dong-based thoughts

      1. DT

        Glad I’m not the only one with that theory!

      2. Sir Robin

        I thought that too!!!

        1. Deanatay

          I always knew the anti-Joyce would emerge at some point. Didn’t think it would be like this…

        2. Roborat

          So did I, but I dismissed it because I thought it was to obvious.

      3. flyingfish

        Works with Ethan too.

      4. Mollyscribbles

        Though I’m not sure if she’d know what a dingdong really looks like . . . do abstinence-only programs include diagrams other than cross-sections?

    5. JimmyMcNuggets

      If it turns out it was Mike and he publicly (and loudly) admits it, I might make a shrine to Mike and not giving a @*#%.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        That would mean that Mike’s spirit-animal is the Honey Badger.

        1. Mass Confusion

          No, a honey badger’s spirit animal is Mike

      2. Deanatay

        Mike might admit to it even if he didn’t do it. It would be, like, Street Cred +100.

    6. davesignal

      The Whitebread Dickhole Bastard.

    7. Keroshino

      You thought it was Blaine…
      BUT IT WAS REALLY I, DIO!!!

      1. Aizat

        Two in a row with the Dio jokes.

  2. Yotomoe

    I mean I can’t think of a SINGLE person who would do this! Not even ONE!

    1. Tunaro

      Right, obviously it’s an entire team of nefarious ding dong drawers. A Peen Team, if you will.

      1. Aizat

        Or the Peen Posse.

        1. Tnoy

          The cock flock.

        2. Aizat

          The Johnson family.

        3. Yotomoe

          The Dick Clique.

        4. Tunaro

          The Dicksy Chicks.
          They don’t have to be dudes.

        5. Dean

          The Wang Gang.

        6. Originalslugboy

          (Pssst… Dean: Try “The Wang Dang Doodlers”)

        7. Lanval

          The Cock Crew

        8. Mal

          The Knob Cobblers

        9. gwalla

          Wang Chung?

  3. Tunaro

    There are probably worse first supervillains…

    1. Yotomoe

      The Ameaba boys come to mind.

    2. Aizat

      Ten-Eyed Man, Condiment King, Pack Rat, Heinz Doofenshimrtz.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        Calendar Man…

        1. Aizat

          Crazy Quilt, Signal Man, Kite Man, Turner D Century.

        2. RevenantBacon

          Melt-Man, with the amazing ability to…. Melt(but not un-melt)

        3. Swerve

          Misfire, Angry Archer, Professor Princess, Waspinator, Horri-Bull, Cy-Kill.

        4. Aizat

          You forgot Needlenose, Octus, Legonis, Seizer, Robot Master, Spinister

        5. gwalla

          http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076191/

      2. Hoboturtle

        Clock King, The Carpenter, Stilt-Man, White Rabbit, Snow Flame, Lady Stilt-Man…

        1. Aizat

          Dude, the Clock King is awesome….and don’t you diss on Snowflame.

        2. Tunaro

          Nobody insults Snowflame, The Ghost of Christmas!

        3. PsychoKineticEX

          You guys forgot the Walrus, Drago Wolf, The Box Ghost, Bling-Bling Boy, Stilt-Man, Jack Spicer, The Toiletnator, The Dirty Bubble, And Emperor Pilaf.

        4. Mass Confusion

          Jack Spicer kicked ass as a villain. Not because he was very good, but because he was so damn interesting

        5. Bill

          And of course, Professor Poopypants.

        6. Catullus

          That was always my favorite book in the series, because it had that chart where you could convert your own name into… Poopyspeak, I guess?

        7. Roborat

          I don’t recognize any of those names. So I have to ask, are all these names from the same thing, and if so, what was it?

    3. Evil Midnight Lurker

      Armless Tiger Man trumps ALL y’all above.

  4. Tacdud2

    Sounds like a swell guy.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      He’s a regular hard-throb. 😛

      1. Aizat

        He must’ve some stiff competition.

        1. Yotomoe

          Well I’ve got a bone to pick with him.

        2. LiaHansen

          cum on guys, some of those aren’t even relevant.

        3. Mass Confusion

          I don’t know, I’d say they’re a head of their time

        4. Roborat

          Well, he has balls, I will give him that.

        5. Kaoy

          Well I think he is just a dick.

  5. KingMabel

    Always be ready to be a hero. Never know when a weirdo with a permanent marker is on the loose.

  6. Shrugs

    I like Silver Age Whiteboard Dingdong Bandit, but I wasn’t a big fan of the gritty 90s WDB. The black leather cod piece was a bit much.

    1. TwistedTwo-Face

      The Modern Whiteboard Dingdong Bandit has a really cool rebooted origin story, but all this armor llines and seams on his costume just don’t make sense to me. Also, I hate that they got rid of his trusty Dick-o-rangs.

      1. MrSirk

        Also they totally screwed over his sidekick Wang-Boy.

      2. Shizuka

        And his Boomer-Wangs…

    2. sps48

      And all those pouches!

      1. Swerve

        The Golden Age Whiteboard Dingdong Bandit was also interesting, despite making only three appearances.

      2. Betty Anne

        Yeah, someone really needs to get Liefeld off of that book.

  7. MrSirk

    The whiteboard ding dong bandit. Surely one of the most terrifying and sinister villians there ever was.

    1. Gigafreak

      This is not how you play Ding-Dong-Ditch.

  8. Jerk

    If this winds up with Mike wearing a costume, I will lose my mind.

    1. Leorale

      Maybe if we both wish really hard.

  9. Aizat

    Umm…Joyce, you know who did this. And Amazi-Girl, we all have one of those villains, I mean, Batman got the Condiment King and Ten-Eyed Man, Spidey got Stilt-Man etc.

    1. Bruceski

      Flash has his entire rogues gallery…

      1. Aizat

        Well, except Mirror Master and Captain Cold. Those two have some serious potential.

      2. gwalla

        Flash’s rogues are fun though.

      3. Rutee

        Isn’t one of Flash’s rogues a colossal dick who travelled back in time for the sole purpose of ruining Flash’s life by making tiny changes in the time line to crush his spirit?

        1. StClair

          We don’t talk about Zoom.
          Or… well, anything that’s come out of DC since 2010 or so.

          We got through the NINETIES once (and then tried to forget it ever happened), and we can do it again.

        2. Rutee

          Why don’t we talk about Zoom?

          Keep in mind the majority of what I know about comics is fun pages /co/ posts, I do not have the patience to read this shit raw.

        3. StClair

          Because it’s terrible to bring back earnest and heroic characters you claim to have loved from your larval fandom days (pushing aside, in the process, ones that others have come to love since), and then loading them down with gratuitous GRIMDARK to show how much more mature your tastes are now.

          If anything, those running things at DC seem to agree with a character who’s supposed to be a villain, that one can’t be heroic without a backstory full of gratuitous angst and tragedy. That no one would ever take up the mask and tights simply because they’re a good person and it’s the right thing to do.

          Fie on that, I say. Not every character must or should be Batman.

        4. Rutee

          That’s reasonable, but I thought he was screwing over Flash to screw over Flash and make him an ineffective hero? I guess it doesnt’ matter if it was done to give him an angsty backstory, I just assumed Flash ends the plotline righting the timeline.

  10. chris73

    Don’t know why they’re getting worked up, its just a ding dong…

    1. Aizat

      It’s a permanent ding dong.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        The medical trem is Priapism.

      2. Yotomoe

        Even if it’s the world’s most permenant ding dong, I can’t imagine those tiny whiteboards are more than $5.

      3. Mullberrytree

        Permanent marker comes off when you rub a normal marker over it… It’s super easy. (Like your mom.)

      4. JessWitt

        Sounds like permanent boner syndrome to me.

    2. Milosh

      …The witch is dead?

    3. timemonkey

      If I woke up and found a permanent wiener on my whiteboard I’d probably draw a face on it, give it a top hat and monacle and name it Mr. Peener. Then I’d go back to bed.

  11. cesium133

    Eh, the Whiteboard Dingdong Bandit is still a better villain than most villains in superhero comics…

  12. Plasma Mongoose

    _
    lol /\) _
    _ / / (/\ lol
    /\) ( Y) \ \
    / / “” (Y )
    ( Y) _ “”
    “” (/\ lol _
    lol \ \ /\)
    (Y ) / /
    “” ( Y)
    “”

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      ASCII fail…

    2. a4lbi

      what happened here!?

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        It was suppose to be a bunch of laughing erect ASCII dicks but it turned out to be a total flop.

        1. Mass Confusion

          Don’t you mean a total floppy?

        2. Luke

          Your drawing got squeezed pretty bad.

        3. Roborat

          Couldn’t keep it up huh?

    3. Deanatay

      Was this a LOL-peener?

    4. gwalla

      PROTIP: ASCII art doesn’t work in HTML because whitespace gets collapsed.

      1. jy2

        T  e  s  t

        If this works, &nbsp works.

        1. jy2

          Whoops, I meant T e s t

  13. John

    The Whiteboard Dingdong Bandit is a cooler supervillain than Blaine.

    1. Aizat

      Does that mean that he only steals White Dingdongs?

      1. KingMabel

        They are easier to steal than all other Dingdongs.

      2. KingMabel

        They are easier to steal than all other Dingdongs.

      3. Yotomoe

        Ah…I’m safe…

      4. JessWitt

        Does it matter if the dingdongs are pure white or have at least 1% whiteness in them?

        1. JessWitt

          Inquiring multiracials wish to know or they’ll never sleep.

      5. Plasma Mongoose

        But I thought they only make Chocolate Ding Dongs.

        http://wee-eats.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/hostess_ding_dong.jpg

  14. Kat

    . . .apparently the knowledge of how to remove permanent markers from whiteboard is less well-known than I thought. (Just color over it with a dry erase marker, wait, and then wipe it off. Good as new.)

    1. David M Willis

      getting a migraine

      1. LiaHansen

        try a dry erase marker

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Try a google search.

      2. Roborat

        Try Windex, it works on everything.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      You should read yesterday’s comments then, there are many times more removing permanent markers from whiteboard tips than there are penises in the entire cast of the Walkyverse.

      1. Opus the Poet

        And they aren’t the same suggestion over and over. There are a few originals in there. I wrote one of them 😉

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          The best way to remove it is with fire, everybody knows that.

        2. Aizat

          Or nuke’em from orbit.

        3. Swerve

          No, no! Ya gotta use a chemical solvent! A blend of propex and engex. Seriously, I know from experience. Cross-Cut and I used to prank each other all the time by drawing Decepticon graffiti on each other’s whiteboards in permanent marker! Well, technically it was an advanced tablet computer, not a whiteboard, and we used lasers to scorch the surface lightly, but the same point applies!

        4. Megatron

          Or fire at it with the fusion cannon you keep strapped to your arm.

        5. tinfoil theory

          So that is why you have one.

          I thought it was because you didn’t have a concealed carry permit.

        6. gwalla

          Megatron is all about open carry.

    3. Kodra

      This kinda reminds me of the people who shout at movies in hopes that the people on the screen will listen to them.

      1. Rutee

        You mean people who have fun?

        I mean, I don’t like fun, so that’s actually not me, but still X3

    4. Jeremy

      Also hand sanitizer or rubbing alcohol works immediately.

    5. ░▒▓█│【Walkman】│█▓▒░

      ^ af

  15. Peruhain

    So, I guess Mike is way too obvious . . .

    1. Aizat

      Yeah, I’m guessing that he could even be wearing a sandwich board saying “I drew penises with a permanent marker”

      1. Kennerly

        No, the only thing on the sandwich board would be a dong.

  16. Wonder Wig

    “Amazi-Girl, to find out where I’ve hidden the rest of the dongs you’ll have to solve my riddle. It’ll take a … stroke of genius.”

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      “If you’re really smart, I might give you a tip”.

      1. anonymous

        “But if you keep at it for a short while, I’m sure it will come to you.”

        1. anonymous

          (I was going to say it wouldn’t be long before it comes to her, but then I realized that it would be long.)

    2. Roborat

      And even if you don’t have the genius, just keep stroking, you will get it eventually.

  17. JessWitt

    Yay, AmaziGirl is on the case! I hope she has a posse in mind to aid her.

    1. Sambo

      It was you.

  18. Kennerly

    Normally you’re called a bandit when you take something, this is more a whiteboard dingdong vandal.

    1. Yotomoe

      In fact they’re adding something. They’re the OPPOSITE of a bandit.

      1. Aizat

        Oh, so he’s the dingdong donater?

        1. nekobawt

          ding dong donor has a better ring to it.

        2. anonymous

          He’s an organ donor!

        3. OnnaStik

          The boner donor?

        4. Roborat

          We have a winner!

        5. Verdande

          Ding ding ding! We have a winner!
          Or should it be dong dong dong?

        6. Deanatay

          I’ll don’er my boner!

  19. spaceinvader42

    Calling Blaine a supervillain gives him too much credit. He’s just an abusive jerkwad.

    1. Swerve

      Most supervillains are: Lex Luthor, Doctor Doom, Baron Zemo, Megatron. And worst of all, they all try to justify their villainy, in a way that soothes their egos.

      1. Megatron

        You put me in the same catagory as mere fleshlings and Baron Zemo? You sir are going to get the business end of my fusion cannon!

        You know, just as soon as I get it back from Brainstorm. He said he wanted to examine it for research purposes.

        1. Swerve

          Brainstorm? I thought you surrendered that to Ultra Magnus as part of your parole.

          … I knew it! You’re faking sincerity, all as part of a plan to rebuild the Decepticon Empire! Just like Baron Zemo would! :p

      2. tinfoil theory

        Nobody thinks they are bad in their own mind, every villain thinks they are the hero.

        How is Doctor Doom a villain? The people on his planet love him. He’s done so much for them. Always trying to help others, he is. It’s that cursed Reed Richards that keeps interfering in other people’s affairs and wrecking other people’s stuff for selfish reasons like trying to impress his wife. Richards has invented so many things that would be useful and could change the world for the better, but he keeps them all for himself and his band of mischievous misfits.

        And how is Lex Luthor a villain? When he doesn’t follow his obligations to hiis shareholders, he attempts to protect the world from an alien menace. (Not that said alien is necessarily evil, but he could destroy the entire planet by accident. It’s just a matter of time, really.)

        It’s only people who neither want to be nor think they are a hero who become heroes.

        1. Robin

          > And how is Lex Luthor a villain? When he doesn’t follow his obligations to hiis shareholders, he attempts to protect the world from an alien menace. (Not that said alien is necessarily evil, but he could destroy the entire planet by accident. It’s just a matter of time, really.)

          See also The Metropolitan Man.

        2. Aizat

          If Luthor wanted to save the world, he would’ve done it ages ago. It’s just that his ego that gets in the way, that’s why he hated Superman because Supes stole his glory.

        3. hof1991

          It’s only a matter of time before Superman goes the way of the Plutonian and becomes an invincible supervillan. Then we’ll need Lex, because he’s been planning for this day forever. Oh, and Batman has too.

        4. Aizat

          You know, if Superman would’ve gone nuts and ruled the world, you’d think he’d done it ages ago…and not join a team of heroes who can kick his ass should he go rogue. If you think about it, the Justice League is check against every single superhero in the DCU….if they wrote them competently.

        5. Rutee

          Uh, not hat I give a rat’s ass about shareholders, but spending what is legally their money on non-business expenses is pretty much the definition of not meeting his obligations to them.

        6. Swerve

          Especially when those non-business expenses include trying to humiliate and kill a beloved hero, for patently bigoted reasons. And breaking the Joker out of Arkham Asylum. You know that your CEO is wasting your investment in the company when he’s spending that investment to bust the Joker out of a maximum security insane asylum.

  20. Well_Played

    We need Amazi-Girl!! Hurry put up the Cock signal!!

    1. Aizat

      You want to call the Gamecock? (Yes folks, that’s a Captain America villain. Look it up.)

  21. An Average Loser

    Hehe, Peeners.

    1. Leorale

      Subpoena! Subpoena!

  22. Plasma Mongoose

    You think the Whiteboard Dingdong Bandit is bad, wait until they find out about the Blackboard TnA Bandit.

    1. Aizat

      Or the Litterbug…who litters bugs.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        I thought he put bugs on litters of kittens.

        1. Aizat

          That works too, I guess.

        2. Swerve

          Or the Jitterbug, who gives bugs the jitters.

  23. GoogerGeiger

    Reminds me of when I became known as the door tape bandit (not as much of a ring to it). Instead of keys, we inserted our university cards into slots in our doors to get into our dorms. So, one night, I went to every door in my hall and put multiple layers of clear tape over every slot. Then I hid a tiny camera in the corner at the end of the hall and watched the hilarity ensue.

    Nobody found me out.

    1. Maycroft

      You sir, deserve an award for your prank.

    2. Betty Anne

      That is epic win, right there. 😀

  24. JessWitt

    Wait, peener rhymes with Keener. (Dun dun da-dun)

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      I can imagine Dotty releasing a press-statement along the lines of “I tried permanent markers once but I didn’t inhale”.

  25. Rob Carlson

    Wait, she doesn’t just think Mike did it?

    1. deathjavu

      I’m surprised by her surprise, considering two people have already drawn a dick on her whiteboard.

      1. Leorale

        Joyce always thinks the best of people.

    2. timemonkey

      I’m sure she’ll accuse every guy she knows soon enough.

    3. Heavensrun

      Yeah, I actually find that a little suspicious, honestly. Like she actually did it herself in a sort of fugue state, came to at the end, and now she’s trying to deflect attention but doesn’t want to actually blame someone that didn’t do it.

      1. Gigafreak

        I find Joyce suspicious too, for a different reason.

        Isn’t she usually one of the early risers? Yet here she is, LAST to wake. What was she doing last night?

        1. timemonkey

          Staring blankly at the ceiling while pretending to sleep to see if Sarah used her vibrator?

  26. KingMabel

    ‘SA PEENER

  27. Blackbird

    I can’t be the only one that thought about this guy:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ding_Dong_Daddy

    1. Aizat

      I can’t stop laughing.

    2. 2K

      This villain is just in this case. Cool XD

  28. Sabrina Pandora

    HAHAHAHAHAAA!

    You win. That’s just brilliant.

  29. Yotomoe

    Well the only way to be fair is clearly to draw Boobs on all the guy’s boards. Then again…Butts are always the classic choice.

    1. Aizat

      Or Dickbutts.

    2. timemonkey

      That’s not really fair, you’d have to draw the lower ladyparts for it to be fair.

      1. Yotomoe

        I considered that, but I’ve come to the conclusion that Vaginas just…aren’t funny enough.

        1. Camachri

          just draw some googly eyes on each side and wham, bam, thank you clams.

        2. timemonkey

          Not funny enough? They’re all flappy and ridiculous!

  30. Budgie

    uuuuugh carla is so tall my heart beats for her

  31. Lone Wolf

    Whoever is responsible for this must be feeling pretty cocky right now.

  32. Plasma Mongoose

    I wonder if Danny WilCOX has multiple dongs on his Whiteboard. 😀

  33. Nono

    Wait, why does she need to be Amazi-Girl to catch this one? This sounds like you just need some regular detective work.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      It takes a private dick to catch a dick… 😀

      1. Reltzik

        Damn you for making this joke before me.

    2. timemonkey

      Because she’s compartmentalised herself into two separate personas, one with some traits, one with others. Girl be crazy.

  34. Maycroft

    Hey, it’s a start. Besides, You have friggin Sal as a nemesis.

  35. Throng

    Gonna take the outside bet here: Shiny imaginary nickel says it’s Joyce. 😉

    1. Deanatay

      Not so outside – lots of people are choosing this.

  36. Rabid Rabbit

    Someone needs to get to the bottom of this. Amber, as you have the best bottom of us all, you have been delegated.

  37. newllend

    Hey your lucky you didn’t get the red butt graffiti artist wait…don’t you need to steel something to be a bandit.

    1. Deanatay

      He’s stealing their precious, precious white space! On their doors! The FIEND.

  38. NinjaNick

    I smell something suspicious. I wonder who the mysterious Dingdong bandit is. I’m guessing Malaya might be behind this, knowing it could be unpredictable.

  39. Lee

    momentarily considered the possibility that Joyce drew them all on a lust-driven mental breakdown, but then realized that she probably couldn’t draw a dick with the amount of detail seen on her whiteboard.

    1. Lee

      but hell, entertaining the idea that it WAS Joyce…. she seems stressed out & disheveled, which could indicate guilt. she’s also VERY eager to take attention away from herself by calling for an investigation.

      HMMMMMM.

      1. Lee

        jealous of the freedom with which Sarah indulges her sexual needs & frustrated with the lack of physical contact with her boyfriend, Joyce, in a moment of weakness, tries to watch porn. the detailed image of a phallus breaks her brain, she freaks out, draws one on every whiteboard in the hall (???), & goes back to bed, haunted by the thought of what she’s done.

        eh? eh????

        1. Heavensrun

          The Dumbiverse version of anti-Joyce.

  40. nothri

    Mike. Duh.

  41. Raptorman

    Well Bluntman and Chronic have Cock Knocker,
    Kickass has The Motherfucker,
    Amazigirl now has…..the Dingdong Whiteboard Bandit. Maybe shorten that to: THE DINGDONG. Duh duh duuuuuuh!

  42. nekobawt

    psst.. mr willis, 1000k is one million, not one thousand.

  43. Gigafreak

    Tags: “other rachel, rachel”
    Hmm. If it’s “the other rachel,” that’d come after “rachel” and they’d be in a more sensible order. Worst that can happen then is something like “rachel, sal, the other rachel” which is barely a problem at all.

    1. chexwarrior

      Other Rachel is alphabetically first

      1. Gigafreak

        Exactly. “other” is before “rachel” but “the” would be AFTER “rachel.”

  44. Snograt

    Ooh, please tell me Dickman is going to be a costumed villain as a foil to Amazi-Girl.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Not Dickman, The Phallacy!

      1. Gigafreak

        Na naaaaa nanana nana na naaa na Cockamari Phallacy

  45. Chengrel

    It had to have been Joyce.

  46. J-Debs

    I actually like the idea of Dina being the culprit. Maybe she just misunderstood what she saw when Mike did it? Maybe Joyce yelling at her about evolution finally made her snap?

    1. tinfoil theory

      She’s just trying to fit in.

      1. Bagge

        That makes a lot of sense. I still say there are multiple Dong-bandits, but I’m sure she is one of them (presumably she drew the one on her own door).

  47. caesaria82

    I like that this is now a detective story. Good old-fashioned whodunnit.

  48. Bill

    And Amber, not having a telephone booth handy, is busy donning her Amazi-Girl costume.  Which she has already admitted to Dorothy is “mostly just a jumpsuit … Back zip.”

    Now, I’ve helped enough women zip up their dresses, jackets, blouses, and what-have-you over the years to make me wonder — so who helps Amber with the back zipper on her costume?

    1. tinfoil theory

      Dina. Obviously.
      She’s so good at it, Amber doesn’t even notice she is there.

      (Although, Amber is more flexible than most, maybe she doesn’t need help.)

    2. John

      In the costume, she’s not Amber. And Amazi-Girl doesn’t need anyone else’s help to handle a mere zipper.

    3. LeKoppa

      I’ve been a woman long enough to figure out how to zip my own damn zippers. It’s not difficult if you’re remotely flexible (which AG is), or if the garment isn’t skin tight (which the jumpsuit is not), or if the zipper is long.

  49. Orangey

    Idk wouldn’t Joyce just assumed that Mike did it?

    1. Orangey

      and by ‘assumed’ I mean ‘assume’ haa

  50. cmd1095

    Amber will be going against Mike… someone whose asshole talents could be considered a superpower in their own right… this cannot end well

    1. Leorale

      Is Amazi-Girl still immune to criticism? ‘Cause that’d be really useful when facing Mike.

      1. Deanatay

        Yes, but Mike’s superpower is finding other people’s emotional weak spots. With Amber’s issues, could be her kryptonite.

        1. cmd1095

          not to mention Mike is smart, and he knows Amber, if he connects the dots between Amber and Amazi-girl… well he’s not going to be nice like Dorothy…

          Of course if he doesn’t figure it out it will grant Danny more redemption

        2. Gigafreak

          …Amber is one of the few people that can sort of very loosely be called Mike’s friends, though.

          Not that this would deter him from directing his “wrath” at her, but wouldn’t he have had plenty of opportunities to do so before college?

          Mike can have a field day with Ethan’s desire to get back into the closet because that’s a relatively new thing. Amazi-girl’s implied to have existed for longer than that.

  51. Swerve

    So know that we have a panel where Amber is putting on the Amazi-Girl costume and making snarky comments about Amazi-Girl’s Rogues’ Gallery, can we take the meme about Amber not being Amazi-Girl and shove it out an airlock?

    1. Megatron

      I’m thinking the whole crew of The Lost Light should post here. Well, after we find the ship.

      1. Swerve

        It’s definitely something to do while stuck in a shuttlecraft or the Rodpod for solar cycles on end. I mean there’s only so many times you can sing drinking songs while sober, and we do need to keep Whirl occupied. A bored Whirl is a deadly Whirl.

    2. Aizat

      Swerve, I didn’t know you’re a Prothean.

  52. TheStranger

    so this is totally going to be a book title isn’t it

  53. CheeseyTacocat

    Anybody notice how in the second panel rachel is staring directly into your soul?

  54. 2K

    Whiteboard DingDong Bagdit: – Let’s put a “Dick” in your fac… emm…op… I think this is a bad phrase.

    XDDD

  55. Idon'tcarenomore

    Joyce looks like she’s had a really hard night.

    1. Bill

      Just a severe case of bed-head.  Couple of minutes with a brush and a comb and she’ll look better than ever.

    2. Bagge

      A hard night DRAWING DONGS ON PEOPLES WHITEBOARDS perhaps? Hmmm? Hmmm?

  56. bodmans

    it’s Dina.

    After seeing the one drawn on Joyce’s door, she thought it was perfectly normal/very social

  57. Darnel

    And I find myself Laughing at Amazi-gurl as a “batman” finds her “Joker”.

    LOL Meh,…. I don’t know whether to hope the guy can take a punch or be depicted as a perv,…

    1. StClair

      and yet, NO ONE has mentioned “the Joker’s Boner” yet.
      I’m amazed.

  58. Sir Robin

    Is this how we introduce Ninja Rick?

  59. Robin

    For some reason, Willis getting frustrated by all the comments about removing permanent marker by using dry erase markers makes me giggle out loud.

  60. Thomas

    Alt-text is wrong about Blaine. He’s a horrible super-villain, not a cool one.
    In other news: Amber beating the crap out of Mike’s gonna be horrible. Because Mike knows everyone’s weakness & won’t shut up about it. There’s also the not un-slight possibility that Mike simply *knows* Amazi-Girl’s identity. And wouldn’t it be just like Mike if it turned out that he simply switched everyone’s whiteboard marker for a permanent marker? It would explain the differences in style.

  61. Lord Geovanni

    How is the cape sewn into the back of the suit if the suit is back zip up

    1. Thomas

      The cape is probably sewn onto one side & buttoned or clasped to the other side after zipping up.

  62. hof1991

    It’s a trap! Someone wants AG to handle the case so that they can find out her secret identity. That she appears when the issue is limited to this wing will narrow it down.

    1. Bill

      But is it limited to this wing, or even just this building?  Some things are constant across the globe:
      • Fire is hot.
      • Water is wet.
      • If you drop something, it will fall.
      • And, as Walky pointed out (and Sarah confirmed), if you put up a whiteboard people are going to draw dongs on it.

      1. Rutee

        Ice and water vapor aren’t all that wet… 😀 😀 😀

  63. TotallyNotTheDingDongBandit

    Her Archenemy is Mike…who she bones in an alternate universe.

  64. hof1991

    This makes IU a Ding Dong School. Oh wait, you have to be a senior citizen to get that joke. My bad.

    1. hof1991

      Crap, my link didn’t work. Here it is
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ding_Dong_School

    2. Bill

      I see what you did there.

  65. Heavensrun

    Actually, glancing back at them….They’re all big, scary, erect penii, similar to the ones mike drew on her board, except for Dorothy’s door, which looks like the little one Sarah drew. My theory; The last time Mike drew the penis on her door, he used permanent marker. Joyce didn’t want to admit defeat by taking down the whiteboard, but she was afraid of what it might imply if she left it up, so she drew them on everybody’s boards, but when she got to Dorothy, she chickened out, because Dorothy is her bestie and she wuvs her. So Dorothy just got a little Sarah penis. Which is honestly a sentence I would not have seen myself typing a week ago.

    1. Gigafreak

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/03-up-all-night-to-get-vengeance/stamina/
      But Mike used blue ink, not black.

      1. Heavensrun

        True, but he also wasn’t using permanent marker at that point. My suggestion is that he came back after she erased it again.

  66. Deanatay

    THIS looks like a job for…

    1. anonymous

      …the Vagina Bandit!

      1. anonymous

        At any rate, anyone who has that name SHOULD go by the Vagina Bandit…

  67. Jeremy

    I know it is not the point but they can get rid of permanent marker with rubbing alcohol or hand sanitizer.

  68. nopittynope

    my money’s on Walky on this one. or the gay dud which name I forgot.

    1. David M Willis

      man, being “the gay dude whose name i forgot” is exactly why ethan stays in the closet

      1. Tenn

        Being a gay dud is even worse.

      2. Yotomoe

        He prefers being that Jewish dude who’s name we forget.

      3. tinfoil theory

        I think he meant the guy who volunteered his gayness to Tony for no apparent reason. He never mentioned his name.

  69. Tenn

    …Maybe work a bit on your acting, Joyce?

  70. Julez

    Throw everyone for a loop… It’s Mary.

  71. John

    I’m kind of amused at how, once Joyce and Amber show up, all the others just kind of disappear. Out of the way, secondary characters! Main characters coming through!

    1. Bagge

      I know that I would just stand aside and listen to Joyce if she started an epic rant like that.

  72. inkwell

    I hope to God it’s Mike as a costumed villain and this is the start of Amazi-Girl and Mike’s alter-ego being diametrically opposed to each other while having an emotionally conflicted romance.

  73. wakeangel2001

    permanent marker can be removed with windex

  74. SonicBlueRanger

    It could be worse you could have Divatox or Flurious or Master Xandred as your major villains. The Power Rangers can’t catch a break.

  75. OmegaDez

    But. Don’t we all know it’s Mike already?

    1. OmegaDez

      Also. Who is the blue eyed girl in glasses?

      1. Ikaru

        One of the Rachels I guess.

    2. ShawnL

      This bulk perma-dicking is too passive aggressive for Mike.

      Mike is shamelessly in your face when he messes with you. Nothing passive about it. As seen with the erasable penis showdown with Joyce.

      Which of course makes the Phantom Peener a bigger dick than Mike… er… metaphorically speaking of course.

      1. OmegaDez

        I dunno, man. It’s Joyce’s reaction that I don’t get.
        She saw Mike openly mess with her drawing penises non stop on her whiteboard. The next morning, those things are everywhere.

        Why isn’t her first reaction to go after Mike?

        That’s what I’d do, before even thinking it’s not his style.

  76. Sir Robin

    So Amber wears clothes under her super suit? Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

    1. Deanatay

      I guess it’s easier to change if she’s still wearing all of her clothes.

    2. John

      It’s easier to hide the short-sleeved T-shirt and PJ bottoms under the bulky jumpsuit with cape than the other way around.

  77. Romanticide

    Amber you have to admit that ding dong bandit is a way better concept than the original calculator XD XD

  78. ZORK

    Whiteboard Dingdong Bandit.

    That is probably the most beatiful supervillain name I ever heard.

  79. Vree

    Which is the real AmaziGirl? The one on the left? Or the one on the right?

    You’ll never knoooow~

  80. Null Set

    Joyce, your plan to help Billie feel less useless won’t work if she is not up to hear your exposition.

  81. LucasKzau

    I just have binge read (is that a thing?) your whole comic (it took me the whoel afternoon), and it is amazing. My favorite characters so far are Walky and Sal. It is amazing and I will be reading it from now on. Great job!

  82. halcyon1234

    Her super-villain’s weapon? A ball peener hammer.

  83. Onion

    The trick is to go over them with actual dry erase marker, and THEN try to erase them. It works. I would know, I did it all the time in 6th grade–

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