Sadly there’s actually an argument the Walkertons might appreciate Danny more than his actual parents. The Wilcoxes didn’t come off too well the last I remember.
Hate is a bit strong. But she definitely doesn’t value the kids she has. She just is fixated on the kids she wanted.
Yarrr
“My kids didn’t turn out the way I hoped, which definitely has nothing to do with me. Meanwhile here are some kids I like who, weirdly enough, I had nothing to do with raising.”
bubba0077
They aren’t separate people, they are her status accessories.
well, she said ‘morning’. assuming it’s two days in a row, if i had had dinner with a partners’ parents even if they were more appealing than linda, i wouldn’t exactly be in a rush to have breakfast with them/deal with anyone before noon
Well…Sal’s first interaction with her mother this morning is to show she expects to be unwelcome if she isn’t Danny’s +1. One can see how that might be interpreted as “making a point.”
However it started, the problem between Sal and Linda now is that each one is carrying a big chip on her shoulder. They constantly set each other off. Nothing will improve until one of them decides to forget about scoring and do what it takes to win.
lol if anything it’d be ‘danny’s point’ if he decided not to show up unless they just assume sal told him not to do anything but you’d think ppl would understand if he’d have other plans already or so, or even sleeping in
Well, she’s not getting any younger, and as we get older our true colors amplify…..NPD Momma’s caring less and less about not coming off as a two-bit Karen…
Imogen
I’m not just yet getting NPD, but we haven’t really seen much from Linda’s perspective, so who knows? I don’t see NPD until I see the craving for admiration, the existential terror around the possibility of being imperfect (and therefore awful). I just see a controlling parent who’s arrogant in the normal ways.
I think under specific circumstances it could make sense. Like what if your kid is just terrible, like objectively an asshole, but their partner was really cool. Like if I were Mary’s parent and she was dating someone awesome like almost any other named character in this comic I would want to hang out with them.
Icalasari
Another time it makes sense is if the break up/divorce was amicable
Yumi
Also if the former couple has a child together.
Decidedly Orthogonal
This. My incubator was a premium alpha bongo, and had custody. ? My paternal grandmother was an absolute angel to put up with entertaining the person who mistreated her baby. But she did it. And I am eternally grateful for all that she did for me and my siblings. Thanks to her efforts, we had a real relationship with “Grandma”. My maternal grandmother also committed to us, but was older. She was as loving, but always felt a bit more formal. Dad’s mum was more fun and active. I didn’t learn till much later that they communicated with each other and collaborated to look out for our (the grandkids’) interests.
For my part (two bombed relationships, 1 kid each) I tried to maintain contact with the more reasonable set of ex in-laws. (The first in-law strait up hates me, their words) Sadly, my second ex is so actively hostile (police involvement) that her parents just said, in essence, “don’t call us, we’ll call you.” So I now live closer to one of my kids grandparents than their own daughter, but our kid still never sees them except if their mom goes. ?♂️
So I do what I can to be loving for my kids, with essentially zero support from their other families. All of this to say, that yes, it’s a beautiful ideal to see adults put children’s interests before their own issues, and I thought it would be … well, not easy, but do-able with my kids’ grandparents. I’ve seen it done. But evidently it takes a level of maturity less common than I once thought was typical.
Mark
Kudos to you.
Angel
There was a kimmy schmidt ep i’d think but unless tehy all worked together or were neighbors that’d run into each other often anyways most ppl wouldn’t rly invite their kids ex at least not right in front of them
clif
Depends on the relationship. People and circumstances differ. One size doesn’t fit all.
My “cousin” had a husband who she was married to for a while and eventually they got a divorce. And it’s like that awkward thing where a lot of us still consider him family but also we don’t know if it’s appropriate to invite him to stuff anymore.
Yumi
Mu cousin got married and then divorced shortly after a number of years ago, and I still wish we could invite her ex to things instead of her.
Leorale
Aw, that’s tough. At least your cousin has good taste in partners? Here’s hoping she’ll pick another cool likeable partner that you can hang out with.
Yumi
Nah, she’s remarried since and he sucks even more than her. Yeah, I’m not my cousin’s biggest fan; she’s the type of person who got kicked out of a volunteer role for being too mean to children, and everyone in the family who heard about it was like, “Yeah, makes sense.”
Leorale
Guess it’s better that nobody too cool/likeable had to be saddled with the meanie, then.
May they keep each other happy, and far away from you.
(And from children.)
a/snow mous/e
Maybe you should invite her ex anyway. Or at least tell them they’re welcome.
Leorale
What would happen if you asked the “cousin” whether to invite her ex to familial things?
It does depend how Ask Culture vs Guess Culture y’all are, but in my Ask family, asking the blood-relative would clear things up in either direction.
(I have a brother’s ex who shouldn’t be invited, and an uncle’s ex / my lifelong aunt who should totally be invited. The fellows in question were helpfully clear about their different situations.)
Yotomoe
It’s not my place. She’s my cousin but she’s easily 20 years older. It’s more something my aunties and mom should ask, not me.
Leorale
Makes sense. I hope they figure it out.
Angel
guess it’d be up to the host, be polite to give the cousin a heads up but depending i’d think they might have an equal right to be there, unless it was a rly harsh divorce where they’d have to have one on one hangouts as opposed to someone being invited in some group/family backyard bbq or so
Rose by Any Other Name
I am so glad you explained that. The quotes around “cousin” were driving me nuts with curiosity, but at the same time, it was obviously none of my business either.
Yotomoe
Well there’s two reasons.
1. The age gap. I honestly didn’t realize we were “cousins” until it was explained. I spent most of my childhood thinking she was my auntie.
and
2. We’re not actually related by blood. My mom and my “Auntie” were just SUCH good friends in college that my mom slowly just got…integrated into the family. Nobody married each other. There’s literally nothing tying us together except “We like these people, so they’re our family”. We get invited to family reunions and everything!
Leorale
So cool and fun! Yay for chosen family. ^^
eskimolos
I loved my ex’s family and wish I could still be invited to things with them, but part of not airing his business/ruining his reputation meant I let them think I was some flighty harpy just using him and going on my way. He got support when I left him and that’s what mattered to me then, I didn’t want him to suffer alone. But it does mess you up, losing people who were your family just because things broke down with you and the person they were blood related to. Really does make bonds seem capricious and shallow.
I suspect my family did that, but I can’t be sure. I divorced them well before the ex-wife, but they did manage to get my address and phone number shortly after the wife divorce when she’s the only one I shared those with (there was still some stuff-division to be done, or she most assuredly wouldn’t have had them either).
My husband’s uncle cheated on his first wife (with who would eventually be his second, and they’ve been happily married for decades), and my grandmother-in-law never, ever got over it. She dropped him like a hot potato and essentially took his ex in under her wing; we still see her around at family functions like weddings and things, but never him. She never speaks of him. She didn’t even invite him to his father’s funeral.
(It’s actually really, really weird. He’s a nice guy, and from what I gather the relationship with his first wife went sour and they were separated before the cheating happened. I’ve never seen such doggedly antisocial behaviour from the grandmother towards anyone else, either.)
I’d worry about an attempt at infanticide…..Especially if Linda’s prospects, that always were what mattered most with her, peaked years ago, because frankly, entitled shits like her with more ambition than irreplaceability have been in greater supply than in demand for decades….
I suppose that, with someone who seems determined to dislike you and disinclined to just walk away, the thing to do is to find the level of difficulty that’s easy for you but still effective.
Yeah, nothing says “good parenting” like accusing your kid of trying to make a “silly little point” when they attempt to spend time with you, yep yep yep
227 thoughts on “There you are”
Ana Chronistic
“sorry, he wasn’t aware ya adopted him”
Sirksome
Sadly there’s actually an argument the Walkertons might appreciate Danny more than his actual parents. The Wilcoxes didn’t come off too well the last I remember.
DarkoNeko
it’s probable Danny’s parents would appreciate Sal more, too… they should switch
Decidedly Orthogonal
Anyone else notice Linda looks a bit like a toe with a hangnail?
Opus the Poet
That seems to be a theme with DYW, villains resemble toes to some extent.
elfroyalty
sal comes out for lunch with her family that she was clearly invited to and linda takes that fuckin personally i guess
Taffy
Linda takes everything personally.
Bryy
Linda hates her own children.
DashWallkick
Hate is a bit strong. But she definitely doesn’t value the kids she has. She just is fixated on the kids she wanted.
Yarrr
“My kids didn’t turn out the way I hoped, which definitely has nothing to do with me. Meanwhile here are some kids I like who, weirdly enough, I had nothing to do with raising.”
bubba0077
They aren’t separate people, they are her status accessories.
Angel
well, she said ‘morning’. assuming it’s two days in a row, if i had had dinner with a partners’ parents even if they were more appealing than linda, i wouldn’t exactly be in a rush to have breakfast with them/deal with anyone before noon
Stephen Nedland
When Linda inviter her kids to lunch, she only meant for one to show up, and Sal is not it.
Mark
Well…Sal’s first interaction with her mother this morning is to show she expects to be unwelcome if she isn’t Danny’s +1. One can see how that might be interpreted as “making a point.”
However it started, the problem between Sal and Linda now is that each one is carrying a big chip on her shoulder. They constantly set each other off. Nothing will improve until one of them decides to forget about scoring and do what it takes to win.
McNitz
And probably the parent SHOULD be the one mature enough to do so.
Yumi
Hey, look, Linda is still terrible!
Ray Radlein
Whew. Had me worried for no moments there
Animedingo
She had that line loaded
Bryy
100%.
Angel
lol if anything it’d be ‘danny’s point’ if he decided not to show up unless they just assume sal told him not to do anything but you’d think ppl would understand if he’d have other plans already or so, or even sleeping in
Ana Chronistic
I do wonder what if Sal proceeded with, “His parents died”* would Linda still be offended (very likely)
*or any other reasonable excuse
Radiance
Oooof. I guess that answers Sal’s question about “did I really get my mom’s approval, or was that all you?”
Imogen
Honestly feels like it came a bit too easy. Linda’s got no subtlety. She’s like the TF2 Sniper bot of microaggressions.
Proxiehunter
That is an insult to the noble TF2 Sniperbot. Nice shot mate!
Imogen
thANKS for STANDIN STILL wanker
Needfuldoer
You got blood on my knife, mate.
Laura
And macroaggressions.
Decidedly Orthogonal
Don’t forget mediaggressions. A.k.a. being a plain old bongo (not censored).
DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
Well, she’s not getting any younger, and as we get older our true colors amplify…..NPD Momma’s caring less and less about not coming off as a two-bit Karen…
Imogen
I’m not just yet getting NPD, but we haven’t really seen much from Linda’s perspective, so who knows? I don’t see NPD until I see the craving for admiration, the existential terror around the possibility of being imperfect (and therefore awful). I just see a controlling parent who’s arrogant in the normal ways.
Zero
You don’t need to be subtle when you’re working toddlers. She’s been doing this to Sal for a long time.
StClair
That’s my thought as well. 🙁
clif
Hey, I’m just waiting for the parents to drop the other shoe about why they are on campus at all.
Mark
Sounds to me like Sal had already answered that question. Hence her microagression.
Zero
You don’t know what that means, do you?
Sirksome
I actually prefer just hanging with just my child over them and their dweeb partner if I had kids.
Andy
I’ve seen couples break up and the parents remained friends with the ex and invited them over to stuff
Jo_cubstar
Which wierds me the fuck out o.O
Sirksome
I think under specific circumstances it could make sense. Like what if your kid is just terrible, like objectively an asshole, but their partner was really cool. Like if I were Mary’s parent and she was dating someone awesome like almost any other named character in this comic I would want to hang out with them.
Icalasari
Another time it makes sense is if the break up/divorce was amicable
Yumi
Also if the former couple has a child together.
Decidedly Orthogonal
This. My incubator was a premium alpha bongo, and had custody. ? My paternal grandmother was an absolute angel to put up with entertaining the person who mistreated her baby. But she did it. And I am eternally grateful for all that she did for me and my siblings. Thanks to her efforts, we had a real relationship with “Grandma”. My maternal grandmother also committed to us, but was older. She was as loving, but always felt a bit more formal. Dad’s mum was more fun and active. I didn’t learn till much later that they communicated with each other and collaborated to look out for our (the grandkids’) interests.
For my part (two bombed relationships, 1 kid each) I tried to maintain contact with the more reasonable set of ex in-laws. (The first in-law strait up hates me, their words) Sadly, my second ex is so actively hostile (police involvement) that her parents just said, in essence, “don’t call us, we’ll call you.” So I now live closer to one of my kids grandparents than their own daughter, but our kid still never sees them except if their mom goes. ?♂️
So I do what I can to be loving for my kids, with essentially zero support from their other families. All of this to say, that yes, it’s a beautiful ideal to see adults put children’s interests before their own issues, and I thought it would be … well, not easy, but do-able with my kids’ grandparents. I’ve seen it done. But evidently it takes a level of maturity less common than I once thought was typical.
Mark
Kudos to you.
Angel
There was a kimmy schmidt ep i’d think but unless tehy all worked together or were neighbors that’d run into each other often anyways most ppl wouldn’t rly invite their kids ex at least not right in front of them
clif
Depends on the relationship. People and circumstances differ. One size doesn’t fit all.
Ray Radlein
Enh, not all breakups are contentious.
eskimolos
This was my mom and my brothers’ exes. I love my brother’s but their girlfriends were way cooler than them, sometimes it just isn’t about that.
Yotomoe
My “cousin” had a husband who she was married to for a while and eventually they got a divorce. And it’s like that awkward thing where a lot of us still consider him family but also we don’t know if it’s appropriate to invite him to stuff anymore.
Yumi
Mu cousin got married and then divorced shortly after a number of years ago, and I still wish we could invite her ex to things instead of her.
Leorale
Aw, that’s tough. At least your cousin has good taste in partners? Here’s hoping she’ll pick another cool likeable partner that you can hang out with.
Yumi
Nah, she’s remarried since and he sucks even more than her. Yeah, I’m not my cousin’s biggest fan; she’s the type of person who got kicked out of a volunteer role for being too mean to children, and everyone in the family who heard about it was like, “Yeah, makes sense.”
Leorale
Guess it’s better that nobody too cool/likeable had to be saddled with the meanie, then.
May they keep each other happy, and far away from you.
(And from children.)
a/snow mous/e
Maybe you should invite her ex anyway. Or at least tell them they’re welcome.
Leorale
What would happen if you asked the “cousin” whether to invite her ex to familial things?
It does depend how Ask Culture vs Guess Culture y’all are, but in my Ask family, asking the blood-relative would clear things up in either direction.
(I have a brother’s ex who shouldn’t be invited, and an uncle’s ex / my lifelong aunt who should totally be invited. The fellows in question were helpfully clear about their different situations.)
Yotomoe
It’s not my place. She’s my cousin but she’s easily 20 years older. It’s more something my aunties and mom should ask, not me.
Leorale
Makes sense. I hope they figure it out.
Angel
guess it’d be up to the host, be polite to give the cousin a heads up but depending i’d think they might have an equal right to be there, unless it was a rly harsh divorce where they’d have to have one on one hangouts as opposed to someone being invited in some group/family backyard bbq or so
Rose by Any Other Name
I am so glad you explained that. The quotes around “cousin” were driving me nuts with curiosity, but at the same time, it was obviously none of my business either.
Yotomoe
Well there’s two reasons.
1. The age gap. I honestly didn’t realize we were “cousins” until it was explained. I spent most of my childhood thinking she was my auntie.
and
2. We’re not actually related by blood. My mom and my “Auntie” were just SUCH good friends in college that my mom slowly just got…integrated into the family. Nobody married each other. There’s literally nothing tying us together except “We like these people, so they’re our family”. We get invited to family reunions and everything!
Leorale
So cool and fun! Yay for chosen family. ^^
eskimolos
I loved my ex’s family and wish I could still be invited to things with them, but part of not airing his business/ruining his reputation meant I let them think I was some flighty harpy just using him and going on my way. He got support when I left him and that’s what mattered to me then, I didn’t want him to suffer alone. But it does mess you up, losing people who were your family just because things broke down with you and the person they were blood related to. Really does make bonds seem capricious and shallow.
Azhrei Vep
I suspect my family did that, but I can’t be sure. I divorced them well before the ex-wife, but they did manage to get my address and phone number shortly after the wife divorce when she’s the only one I shared those with (there was still some stuff-division to be done, or she most assuredly wouldn’t have had them either).
Dragonfire
My husband’s uncle cheated on his first wife (with who would eventually be his second, and they’ve been happily married for decades), and my grandmother-in-law never, ever got over it. She dropped him like a hot potato and essentially took his ex in under her wing; we still see her around at family functions like weddings and things, but never him. She never speaks of him. She didn’t even invite him to his father’s funeral.
(It’s actually really, really weird. He’s a nice guy, and from what I gather the relationship with his first wife went sour and they were separated before the cheating happened. I’ve never seen such doggedly antisocial behaviour from the grandmother towards anyone else, either.)
NGPZ
*TARGET ACQUIRED* ?️
It’s Linda. ?
True Survivor
Well at least the blood won’t show on Sal’s maroon jacket. Which is good because it is a very nice jacket and matricide is generally frowned upon.
NGPZ
Hehehe funny you mention matricide,
I was initially quoting the turrets from Portal 2, referencing the strip title,
“THERE YOU ARE”
DudeMyDadOwnsADealership
I’d worry about an attempt at infanticide…..Especially if Linda’s prospects, that always were what mattered most with her, peaked years ago, because frankly, entitled shits like her with more ambition than irreplaceability have been in greater supply than in demand for decades….
Taffy
Sal’s getting pretty good at treating her mom with the appropriate level of deference.
Angel
i’m sure linda would interpret it as her being ‘difficult’ , tho XP
Mark
I suppose that, with someone who seems determined to dislike you and disinclined to just walk away, the thing to do is to find the level of difficulty that’s easy for you but still effective.
RassilonTDavros
Yeah, nothing says “good parenting” like accusing your kid of trying to make a “silly little point” when they attempt to spend time with you, yep yep yep
Bryy