Complain
Posted on February 20, 2016 by David M Willis

388 thoughts on “Complain”

  1. first timer

    who is she texting?

    1. DJFlare84

      … I bet it’s Joe…

      1. zebrathinker

        OHHH i really like the idea that it’s Joe that would be really good.

      2. Rowen Morland

        Ethan might be a good person to talk to too.

      3. Victor Riley

        I was just thinking it was probably Joe!

      4. Robbzilla

        Maybe Ethan. He’s probably pretty sympathetic to Becky’s situation.

        1. SmilingNid

          It is her one true love (assuming there is not a family connection)
          Mike.

    2. winter

      Dorothy told Joyce to text if she needed an outlet – here.

      But I like DJFlare’s idea that it could be Joe 😉

      1. ChrisHerself

        My brain is telling me it’s Dorothy but my heart is telling me it’s Joe

        1. winter

          Exactly. It’s an eternal battle, which to listen to…

          (Just kidding. Shipping 5ever!)

        2. Carriethedragon

          It’s so good not to be alone in this

        3. Captain Button

          It is dangerous to go alone. Take this.

        4. Yet_One_More_Idiot

          Sorry, I dropped it – can I have another one?

          I think she’s texting Dorothy. Or Danny, he’s pretty good with the empathy too (plus from this distance, less likely to Dan everything up like normal :P)

          HEY, I GOT A JOB!

        5. Valerie

          Yay!

        6. Carriethedragon

          I think it’s probably Dorothy too. She and Danny aren’t really friends, they’ve spoken like once or twice briefly. One time she covered his eyes to keep him from seeing Sal in the buff.

        7. Carriethedragon

          also congrats 🙂

        8. Captain Button

          8-)}

        9. Screwball

          Congrats on job, both Daniel the Human & I can agree they can be hard to find (especially when everything goes boom… :$)…

          I’m probably gonna have to go with Winter’s suggestion & say Dorothy, but I recon we’ll know it’s Sal if Joyce ends it with “…please let me brush your hair…”

        10. Yet_One_More_Idiot

          Thanks all. It’s not quite…real yet, y’know, I’ve been unemployed for so long. It’ll be real when I go in for the first day though. 😛

          Yeah true, Joyce doesn’t really know Danny much – she doesn’t really know many very well whose advice she’d trust, apart from Dorothy. And Walky, but I refer to the “whose advice she’d trust” part of that statement. 😉

        11. thejeff

          Very dangerous. You go first.

        12. David

          Ah, she thinks she is going to send it to Dorothy but since she has Joe on speed dial (just in case she needs someone to go to church with and he’ll have turned to God in the mean time)…

          Oh, or it’s chaperone Mike.

          You get the drift.

      2. MsSchiff

        Or she *thinks* she’s texting Dorothy, but she’s actually texting Joe because she forgot that he was the last person she texted…

    3. KHNO

      I know better than to tell Willis that he is wrong when my only hint can be other that the general evidence, so I’ll just note what my recent experience has made me learn: the splint I had, which comes from the USA, forbade me such moves as anything where my wrist and hand weren’t aligned with my forearm. I certainly couln’t have typed/swiped this way. For months I couldn’t a smartphone, and not for the pain. Of course, if this splint hasn’t anything to do with mine, or if the fact her wrist is damaged has no effect on the rest of the story, that’s a moot point that I should regret to have led light upon.

      1. Heavensrun

        That’s not a splint, she didn’t break anything. It’s a brace/wrap/support. It’s designed to keep pressure on the sprained wrist and keep her from moving it too carelessly, and help provide support when she uses it. It doesn’t completely immobilize her wrist. Though even if it did, her fingers are still free to move, which is really all you need. I almost tore my pinky clean off a few months ago, But I could still send texts with my forefinger.

        Bit annoying to type, to be fair.

    4. Bicycle Bill

      Remember “The Personal Journal of Doogie Howser, M.D.” on his ancient Apple II or whatever it was?  Are we sure she’s texting and not just making an entry in a journal or electronic diary?

    5. Znayx

      I can’t agree between Dorothy or Joe either, but either way…

      …I love the colour yellow, but something about having a yellow phone, or yellow phone protector/shell-thing just doesn’t seem pleasing to me. I can’t get over the Joyce’s phone. It seems so wrong.

  2. Kindra

    So many sticks. I know that feel, Joyce.

    1. inqntrol

      And also leaves. When you stack them and then the wind blows them all over the place it’s like a nightmare.

    2. -Sentinel-

      Joyce is going to pick up like a billion sticks.

      1. Znayx

        It’s true

        IT NEVER ENDS

    3. Cholma

      That last panel gave me shivers. The house I grew up in has a large backyard and two HUGE poplar trees that towered over the neighborhood and covered everyone’s yards with a never-ending shower of leaves and sticks. Oh, how I hated those trees! (still do. Probably part of the reason why I hate ALL trees now)

      1. Chris2315

        Sounds like the origin story for a Captain Planet villain.

    4. Reltzik

      The important thing is that she’s picking up sticks rather than…

      … um, dammit, what’s a good femi-form alternative to phallic sticks?

      *imagery fail*

      1. Mr Ak

        Seed pods. (http://oglaf.com/sensualburlap/ SFW, but the rest of the site decidedly isn’t)

        1. NelC

          SFW? But it’s filled with vagina-fruit!?

        2. yomi

          For Oglaf, it’s relatively SFW.

        3. ChrisHerself

          Without going through the archives again that may be one of the most SFW comics on Oglaf. *cuddles Lizard of Shame plushie*

    5. Strangeshapes

      The one time I snuck out of the house as a teenager, I spent the next day picking up sticks in our yard that had literally 18 oaks in it. Not just the sticks, but he itchy pollen. Ugh.

      1. Sunny

        What kind of flimsy oak trees do you have in America? We had three oaks, 2 apple trees, and some kind of giant pine where I grew up, and they hardly lost any twigs.

    6. Dragon_Nataku

      I don’t… is this actually a THING with American families? Picking up sticks? What? WHY? I don’t understand. Who cares about sticks and leaves?

      1. amusedandconfused

        Its because people here like to mow their lawns a lot, and if there’s sticks all over they could break the machine. Also it’s just nice, annoying busywork for when you need to punish someone.

        1. Tenn

          I think lawnmowing (and the removal of objects that could get stuck in the mower) is a thing pretty much anywhere there’s lawns.

  3. Opus the Poet

    The sticks never end…

  4. LimeSheep

    door closed. now we just wait for them to start talking about beckys crush on joyce only for mom to be pressed up against the keyhole.

    whoops!

    1. Doctor_Who

      They start making a scrapbook together. Carol listens just in time to hear Joyce ask Becky for help with the scissoring, and faints.

      1. Fridge_Logik

        Joyce is applying felt to accent a scene in the scrapbook:

        “Becky do you think that it’s fuzzy enough to be fun?”

        “Sure, if you fluff it a little I bet anybody who saw it would love it.”

        1. Spencer

          “It’s gettin’ kinda late. Mind handing me a blanket so I can crash on the floor?”

          “Becky, you are sleeping with me and that’s final!”

        2. thejeff

          So what are the sleeping arrangements going to be in the Brown household tonight? Becky always slept in Joyce’s room before, I’m sure. Is that going to be another flashpoint?

  5. Dara

    I didn’t forget! #twilight

    1. Dara

      But I am very confused by the sticks. What is this sticks game?

      1. yo mann

        its not a game but an evil evil chore
        where you have to pick up all the sticks in the yard but surprise, THERES ALWAYS ANOTHER SMALLER STICK TO BE FOUND

        1. Dara

          I live in Cascadia, where it is hills, mountains, windstorms, and trees. Eliminating “all the sticks” doesn’t even make sense. That’s why you have mulching mowers. ^_^

        2. Deanatay

          It’s not meant to make sense – it’s a punishment chore.

      2. Doctor_Who

        It’s a chore that will be familiar to anyone who had a lot of trees in their yard. Go pick up the sticks, so the lawn can be mown.

        There were always more sticks. They multiply when you turn your back.

        1. No Name

          Its worse when you’ve got bamboo growing in the yard. I swear, they just pop out of the ground when your back is turned. And since they’re rooted to the spot, simply picking them up won’t do. You have to take a pair of pruners at them, big ones if you let them grow to much between cuttings.

        2. snogglethorpe

          Of course you could just let them grow … a bamboo forest is infinitely prettier than a lawn…

        3. No Name

          I considered telling my dad that, but since we literally had a bamboo forest once and he single-handedly cleared it, I didn’t think it would work.

        4. Time Sage

          Bamboo can grow very quickly. So much so that it was once used as a torture/execution device with little work. (Basically they laid people down on top of new shoots. As they grew, they would pierce the body)

        5. JohnF

          Here in Australia you have to pick up the snakes before you can mow.

        6. Haven

          That…suddenly puts everything in perspective.

        7. Dean

          JohnF is exaggerating. The crocodiles eat most of the snakes.

        8. Emperor Norton

          You’re wrong, Dean. In fact, the snakes will eat the crocodiles:

          http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-26413101

          On the other hand, the Australian spiders will take care of the snakes for you:

          http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-02-11/snake-vs-spider/7154854

          Who wants to go to Australia now?

        9. Screwball

          True, it’s such a lovely place, such friendly animals. Even the Kangaroos can actually gut you if you piss them off…

          …Plus the koalas have some lovely claws for climbing, but then you got the Drop Bears… O_O

        10. Bicycle Bill

          I am firmly convinced that Australia is the one country in the world where just about each and every one of the native animals are capable of killing you — and they are perfectly willing to do so should the slightest opportunity arise.

        11. Dean

          I did say ‘most’.

        12. Roborat

          Don’t limit it to the animals, the plants like to get in on the action as well.

        13. Disloyal Subject

          No, just anyone with both trees and a lawn. Fuck lawns; that’s space that can be filled by MORE TREES!

        14. Needfuldoer

          We only picked up sticks that were too big for the mower to run over. Smaller ones just got mulched.

  6. GenericScreenName101

    I forgot how creating a brush pile sucks. Thanks Willis!

  7. gkheyf

    Ok, I feel like I’m missing some serious context on the sticks thing…

    1. JessWitt

      Must be an Indiana thing. One of their weird customs.

      1. CommunistCanada

        I envy you for your lack of knowledge.

        1. Mordecai

          I also have some non-knowledge on the subject, so feel free to have some of mine.

        2. 3-I

          Please tell me it doesn’t have anything to do with hitting children, which was my first, chilling thought?

        3. IkeShadow

          Honestly being hit would be preferable to picking up sticks, if I got hit at least the pain would eventually end.

        4. Petra

          Naw, you have to pick up the sticks in the yard before mowing if you’ve got trees. There’s often a lot of sticks. It’s a pain.

        5. Deanatay

          Nah, sending a child out into the forest to find an appropriate willow switch for the parent to beat them with is an entirely different punishment. This is just a punishment chore – frustration is its main goal.

    2. Cephalo the Pod

      Did your parents never tell you to pick up the sticks in the yard, to clean it up?

      1. caesaria82

        I feel like that is only relevant for people who grew up with yards. Or at least yards with trees in them. I grew up in the city and our yard was mainly concrete and some struggling grass xD

        1. inqntrol

          Welcome to the urban jungle. Population:Enough to create a rush hour.

      2. GenericScreenName101

        …or in the middle of the woods beyond the yard for no apparent reason?

      3. TheLurkerAbove

        As someone who never grew up with a lawn… this isn’t Joyce being Joyce, is it? It’s an actual chore that’s a PITA for most normal people as well?

        1. Petra

          Can confirm, actual chore. Luckily mowers can handle twigs, but I had to pick up anything over a few inches long in the yard pretty often as a kid before my dad could mow.

        2. Toad

          I grew up in a house with a yard and trees; never heard of this. We just… mowed the lawn.

        3. No Name

          Was your lawn mower a push model or a riding model? Because I can assure you, running over a big enough stick in a push mower is no fun and actually kind of dangerous. Riding models also have their share of danger, but A) that stick couldn’t possibly be aimed at you, unless there was some freak ricochet and B) a rider is big enough to be a proper mulcher.

        4. thejeff

          Also depends on the trees and how you want your lawn to look.
          Generally picking up the branches that are big enough to actually be a threat to the lawn mower is a pretty quick task. You can mow over the rest, but most of them won’t be more than broken up by the mower and then you’ve got small sticks scattered throughout the yard. If you want a nice looking lawn or if you just want to be able to run around in barefoot, that’s where the picking up the sticks comes in.
          And it’s those little sticks that never end.

          I say this having just spent an hour cleaning up the yard from all the stuff that came down in the snow but couldn’t easily be reached until now. It’s now kindling 🙂
          If I was really serious, I’d be trying to get rid of all the acorns, but that’s a far more daunting task.
          Of cour

        5. Toad

          Motorized push mower, but I guess our trees just aren’t in the habit of dropping branches big enough to be obstructive? What kind of trees do you guys have that do that?

        6. No Name

          Some really old pines; most of the fallen branches are about forearm length and one or two fingers thick. The perfect size to knocked about by the rotors and flung out form under it, at least for my mower. The trees also drop pine-cones all over the place, and those really fly when hit. Light, roundish object + rapidly rotating blade = ballistic trajectory.

        7. Rukduk

          Oh yeah. Especially if you live, like I did, in a semi-rural area right outside a forest. God but that was horrible. Thankfully, my Canadian father was of the mind that a lawn should only be mown in summer, and thus picking up sticks was a mercifully infrequent afair.

        8. Roborat

          Only in summer in Canada? That would be twice a year then.

      4. Warfoki

        We have over a dozen trees in our yard and picking sticks was only ever a thing after particularly nasty storms. We just run the smaller ones over by the lawnmower and call it a day. Vole mounds on the other hand…

    3. ChrisHerself

      I feel much less alone and confused now!

  8. Kyran

    I had forgotten, yes.

  9. Wolf

    Sticks are the metaphor here… I think.

    1. Maveric1984

      For penises

      1. Wolf

        It’s the whiteboard ding-domg incident all over again! And I thought I was deranged…

  10. Doctor_Who

    Out house backed into a forest. There could literally be no end to the sticks, depending on how angry my dad was and how far back he decided our property went on that particular day.

    Mowing the lawn was a bongo too.

  11. Cephalo the Pod

    Holy shit, this isn’t just me?

    I mean, it was never used as a punsihment, just an occassional chore. Also applies to raking leaves.

    1. Doctor_Who

      I had to deal with sticks AND leaves AND we had black walnut trees in the backyard. The nuts (these foul smelling green things you could break a windshield with) were everywhere.

      Later on my dad had to offer us a nickel a piece to pick those fuckers up. Me and my brother could easily make $20 each.

      1. ChrisHerself

        My mom used to give me and my sister a nickel per snail. I think the most I ever made was $4 though.

        Apparently you can make a horrible tea out of crushed black walnuts, and if you pour it on the ground all the worms will come up and you have free fishing bait. Youtube is surprisingly educational

      2. Angel

        You were fortunate to be paid for the walnuts i was tasked with doing said chores just so we wouldn’t injure someone while mowing

    2. Huttj509

      Dandelions.

      Oh god the dandelions, especially since the neighbors didn’t weed their yards properly.

      And the spurge. People using an invasive weed as “pretty groundcover.” *shudder*

      1. Needfuldoer

        The trick is to mow them before the flowers bloom. No pollenation means no viable seeds.

        Dandelions are easy mode compared to poison ivy. The only thing you can do is keep cutting it until it gives up. Not easy when birds eat the berries off the neighbors’ poison ivy tree and spread the seeds far and wide.

        1. No Name

          I’ve also discovered that after four blooming cycles, the dandelions’ roots will become weak enough you can pull it out whole sale. Which is good, because by that point, the whole plant has so many tiny blooms that just ripping the plant out of the ground is a good idea. They get really tall too, almost two feet high. Of course, first you have to go out and behead all the Dandelions three times. Oy.

        2. Angel

          The best way to combat the problem is a combination of weed killer and cutting the flowers before they reach thier second bloom into the puffs

  12. Icalasari

    Talking about picking up many bundles of sticks with your lesbian friend… Either Willis didn’t think about this very well, or he thought it through VERY well

    1. Cerberus

      I don’t… oh… ohhhhhh. Wow. I don’t think he realized that word association, but I might be mistaken.

    2. Jason

      OK, I had to google that one!

    3. ChrisHerself

      Wow– despite having run into that reference in a lot of the books I read as a kid, I still had to google that too.

    4. LordHaw

      Yup same here…and then went Duh! Of course!

      1. slicey

        I’ve either been really sheltered or an from the wrong generation I can’t even Google this.

        1. trlkly

          I will not say that word, but I can give you hints. It can mean a bundle of sticks or a slur against gay people. A shorter version is used in the UK to refer to cigarettes.

          I also just found out that, here in the US, we spell the words differently–with only one G instead of two for the sticks version.

        2. DinaWho

          I think the only time I have actually seen that term used to refer to a bundle of sticks was in Good Omens.

          Where, incidentally, another character then confused it with the slur.

        3. Sunny

          I think it referred to a cigarette in Good Omens. That American GI was pretty impressed when he heard that Brits usually burn their homosexuals.

        4. Alistair Young

          Not too many miles from where I grew up (in the UK), it was also the word for a common dinner food (basically pork offal meatballs).

          Which led to some hilarious moments, let me tell you, when transatlantic visitors being taken to the pub caught sight of the “Today’s Specials” board.

    5. Needfuldoer

      Carol looks out the window as Joyce and Becky are picking up sticks, each carrying her own bundle.

      Her happiness fades to horror as she realizes what she’s done.

  13. ObiKemnebi

    As much as that chore/punishment thing is irritating and tedious… Mowing the lawn with a paint scraper is worse. *twitches*

    1. Dara

      Okay INFINITE STICKS is apparently one thing, but mowing the lawn with a paint scraper? I am now very confused.

      1. ObiKemnebi

        We spent half the year on a wooded farm in Indiana, and half the year at a house with a tiny yard in a city several states over. But it doesn’t matter how tiny the yard it, when you have to “mow” the lawn by cutting five or six blades of grass at a time with a dull scraping tool, it takes fecking DAYS. DAYS, I TELL YOU!

        1. ObiKemnebi

          AND THE GRASS KEEPS GROWING

        2. Tacos

          Wow. Whoever told you to mow the lawn with a paint scraper sounds like somebody who should get punched in the face.

        3. Doctor_Who

          Did you have to clean the driveway with a toothbrush too?

        4. ObiKemnebi

          The driveway, no. The bathroom and the floorboards in my bedroom, yes. I am really good at cleaning stuff, now…

        5. UnoriginalPasta

          Charge for it.

        6. RP

          Were your parents in the military or something?

        7. ObiKemnebi

          Yeah. And both from abusive families, so their concept of “discipline” is a bit… skewed. Yeah, skewed. Just a bit. My mom’s nice, just more interested in “keeping the peace” than keeping my personal Toedad in check.

        8. ChrisHerself

          A toothbrush makes sense!! Like, it’s tiny and ineffective but the concept is solid. How do you mow a lawn with a paint scraper it is not a cutting tool do you have to hold fingerfuls of grass I what

        9. Toad

          Surely at that point you’re better off just ripping it up by hand?

        10. ChrisHerself

          That or using your teeth ungulate-style

        11. Dara

          You HAVE to be making this up.

        12. RP

          That is like…ABSURDLY evil.

  14. Makkabee

    Yes, Joyce… give in to the vampiric impulses, pick up the sticks… pick up ALL the sticks…

    Then listen to Bauhaus for six and a half hours straight.

  15. vonniesaur

    Not on Sunday, though

  16. Lauralot

    Does that sign on her door say Carman?

    1. Captain Napalm

      Well, Thor has a Thormobile

    2. Jay Eff

      Also on Joyce’s door:
      Hymmel the Humming Hymnal returns!

      1. ChrisHerself

        Despite having grown up with the actual real-life thing that Hymmel parodies, I still read an entire DOA story arc about it without realizing it was about Psalty or even remembering that I’d been subjected to the same weird shit as a kid. I didn’t make the connection till Willis posted a Psalty video in his blog to prove that Hymmel wasn’t hyperbole. One way or another, DOA gets out even the most stubborn of repressed memories.

        1. LordHaw

          I know who Psalty is but was never subjected to it. To other Christian stuff yes but not Psalty.

        2. trlkly

          Googled it: Oh yeah! I didn’t watch much of it, but I’ve seen Psalty a few times.

          The shows I remember was a show that Carman had (“Do you wanna drive my car, Man!”), one in a clubhouse with a robot, Quigley’s village, some robot with a time machine that took you back to Bible days, and, later in life, VeggieTales.

        3. ChrisHerself

          Oh VeggieTales! My sis and I used to babysit the neighbor kids and they would always bring a couple tapes over.

          Me: OMG sis this is so lame
          Sis: I know right
          *secret enjoyment intensifies*

          ….We still sing the songs 12 years later

        4. Dara

          Wow. Just… wow. That is amazing. Psalty. Wow.

    3. showler

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carman_%28singer%29

  17. passcod

    …But who is Joyce texting to? Or tweeting, or…

    1. Cathode

      Watch it be Joe.

    2. Norah

      Maybe to Dorothy?

    3. pjeseb

      Probably Dorothy. At the very least, it will be somebody whose parents are not both either dead or in jail.

    4. Viktoria

      Too long for a Tweet, and that doesn’t read like a public post anyway. I’d bet she’s texting Dorothy.

      1. Betty Anne

        She could be DMing, but yeah, too long for a tweet.

    5. showler

      Bizarre outside chance: Joe.

      Continuing the unexpected texting from class.

      1. LimeSheep

        i really hope it is thatd be great

      2. Tandel

        That’s where my money’s at actually.

    6. No

      I get a strong feeling that she is texting Joe.

      1. MsSchiff

        Whether she intended to or no.

    7. Yotomoe

      Satan. She wants to let him know his plan is going along swimmingly.

  18. JessWitt

    Forget? Ha I wish I did.

  19. Jay Eff

    “Five, Six, pick up sticks..”

    JoyceDeathGlare.png

    Sorry, Joyce. I’ll stop now.

    1. A Scientist

      This rhyme also popped into my head, but Joyce’s mom was saying it in a low, evil voice, wearing a sinister smirk, while watching Joyce pick up the sticks.

      1. No Name

        Seven, Eight lay them straight.
        …
        Oh dear god, I just got the subtext there.

        1. Brotato

          That ruth face is super fitting for your response

        2. No Name

          It’s worse than you may know! Are you aware of one of the older names for a bundle of sticks?

        3. John

          Don’t lay them at all until after marriage, by preference.

  20. Skizz

    The joys of inner city living

  21. Dandi Andi

    Wow. The Carman poster on the door takes me back… 20 years or so I think? Are kids still listening to him or are we just seeing Christian music references from Willis’s youth?

    1. LordHaw

      I had to go back and look. I was more into Petra back then myself. Carman. Hadn’t thought of that for a LONG time!

      1. Skizz

        Heh, we used to upset the supervisor at out local Youth Centre, he used to insist that AC/DC stood for AntiChrist/Devil Child and KISS was short for Knights in Satan’s Service. We countered by declaring PETRA to be an Acronym for Preparing Everyone To Recieve Antichrist

    2. trlkly

      My mom follows him on Facebook. He’s currently on tour for “Carman: For Real-For Now.” He’s not as kid focuses anymore.

      And if you want a laugh, go to carman.org (his real website) and check out his bio. Whoever wrote it is laying it on thick.

    3. Bicycle Bill

      I’ve receently come across some of the older high-energy “Christian Rock” groups — like ‘Planetshakers’ or ‘Hillsong’.  Not saying that I would necessarily buy copies of all their music, but I could easily see myself going to a concert or performance and actually enjoying myself.

  22. Tacos

    Is there more to the stick thing that I should know about?

    1. wynne

      A common chore/punishment in households that have trees is picking up sticks in the yard, especially before mowing.

      My family really only did the big ones right before we mowed, so I was confused too.

      1. Sam

        Is this an American thing? I’ve never heard of that and I used to have trees in my front and back gardens and was never asked to pick up sticks even before mowing.

        We did use to have to rake the grass after mowing because our mower didn’t collect the grass, but we didn’t have to ever specifically pick up sticks.

        We also didn’t really get many sticks from the trees, we got far more leaves which were always everywhere to the point the neighbour complained even though in reality, those were his goddamn trees the entire time. XD

        1. thejeff

          It probably has more to do with “didn’t really get many sticks from the trees” than anything else. If you get enough, you’ve got to do something with them.

  23. Someone

    Loading the new Dumbing of age strip is always kinda terrifying, especially if Mary was in the last one.

  24. Nonagon

    Life lesson: If your parents send you out in the yard to clean up but don’t give you a rake to do it with, it’s not really about the yard.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Unless, of course, the sticks in question are as big as the rake.
      I love elm trees.

    2. Petra

      Wrong – we’ve got dogs, so a rake might not, uuuuh. Let’s just say it was more sanitary for us to pick up the sticks and then worry about cleaning out other stuff.

  25. inqntrol

    That poster in the second panel..ABOMINATION!

    1. Screwball

      *Evil giggle* I’ll go get the flame thrower…

  26. Yotomoe

    On one hand I kinda see the thing. I mean My mom certainly felt weird about me sleeping in the same room as other girls well through high school even though I’m a pure maiden.

    On the other hand I doubt she’d tell me I couldn’t sleep in the same room as my buddy who came out as Bi. I guess because if I suddenly become insane with intense sexual lust he’d be strong enough to fight me off?

    1. Psychotic Mantis

      Yech. I know the type.

      (Of mom, that is.)

    2. Ctrl+C D@

      “Pure Maiden”
      Some of the stuff I’ve seen you draw contradicts that.

      1. Yotomoe

        Haha, it’s cute that you think that’s my impure drawings.

        1. Ctrl+C D@

          If you keep this up you’ll never become a Sailor Scout.

        2. Drs

          Sailor Uranus disagrees.

        3. Cerberus

          Suddenly I’m having “We Know the Devil” flashbacks.

    3. Fwip

      If we’re swapping stories, I was embarrassingly late in my life before I realized people asking “Are her parents okay with you staying over?” meant anything other than “They’re not going to be annoyed having a guest, are they?”. And by realized, I mean had it outright pointed out to me.

      I was a very innocent youth.

      1. DinaWho

        …I didn’t realise that until just now. So you’re not alone there.

        1. Seer Of Rage

          Seconded, but I’m still a teen.

    4. Gamaran Sepudomyn

      Wait, I thought you were male? Or am I just missing the joke completely?

      1. Yotomoe

        I’m a Guy. Just poor at wording things.

        1. Bicycle Bill

          The word “virgin” works for either gender.

        2. Yotomoe

          I think it’s more of a reference to me saying “Other girls” silly.

  27. Ctrl+C D@

    How can people not like picking up sticks? You get to collect all those perfect, unshaped pieces of wood and totally make weapons out of them. I remember me and my friends would make literally hundreds of spear over the summer and pretend we were fighting monsters in the woods.

    We even stuck some bottle rockets to the real skinny ones and went all Siege on the forest.

    1. GenericScreenName101

      One task is work while the other is play.

    2. inqntrol

      Well that’s one way to have fun with sticks…till someone gets their eye poked. But, I also enjoy collecting sticks..for the barbecue grill.

      1. Ctrl+C D@

        That’s why we wore our parents old motorcycle helmets.

        Come to think of it we were probably some weird little shits.

        1. John

          Some of us still do that. We just got better sticks and helmets. (That’s me on the right.)

        2. Peduncle

          Excellent! What kingdom?

        3. John

          East. Shire of Mountain Freehold, mundanely northwestern Vermont.

        4. Peduncle

          All right. I was in Burlington in mumbledy-mumble-81. Vermont is very fine. A few years later I dwelt in the lower pits of hell with other BoD members. West, myself. Mists. Nobody’s perfect. Since then, however…

        5. Peduncle

          Not too many places had rattan lying around in the back yard.

        6. Screwball

          Daniel here. I kept finding swords.

          Long, straight sticks made perfect swords. Taught myself a few basic swings & I was happy. A good way to pass some time…

    3. feli

      I made bows and arrows. Lots of arrows. Really sharp ones, actually.

      1. inqntrol

        Did your neighbourhood get ridden of cats back then?

  28. Shiro

    Awwwww, I wanted to see Joyce go nuclear :c

  29. Nicster216

    Is she texting dorothy or ethan?

  30. TheNinthShader

    Not the sticks!

  31. Stephen R. Bierce

    So that’s what John Cougar Mellenkamp meant by going nuts, girl/Out in the sticks on his song “Cherry Bomb”.

    1. Stephen R. Bierce

      Of course, my mother thought her own Indian name was “She Who Picks Up Little Twigs”.

  32. Tiw

    Wait, Twilight: so her mom let her have a story where magic isn’t evil.
    “but it promotes waiting till after marriage”
    Well OK then.

    And Joyce still have the singing hymnal poster (which reminds me of the real life singing book kids TV show that was nightmare fuel),
    and I am going to assume that other pic is Bibleman.

    1. trlkly

      That’s part of it. And they didn’t explicitly call it magic or have spells or anything. And it appealed a lot to the fundie housewife demographic, giving them a non-dirty romance novel.

      Still probably not allowed in Mary’s house, though. Can’t have something written by a Mormon, after all.

      (And sorry if I make someone sad by mentioning her.)

  33. caesaria82

    So who’s she texting? Dotty?

    1. Cerberus

      I’d say the odds are sitting at a solid 98% +- 2 %.

      1. Skizz

        I was thinking her brother.

        1. caesaria82

          Which brother? It doesn’t seem to me like she has a relationship with her brothers that’s the kind where you text about your feelings and problems? I mean, I could be wrong, but she almost never brings up her brothers.
          I think Jocelynne is Joyce’s favorite sibling (unless I’m remembering that wrong) and even she and Joyce don’t talk about the really important shit in life much. At least not ‘on screen’, as it were.

  34. Betty Anne

    Picking up all the sticks is second only to cutting all the fucking dandelions. D:

  35. TheNinthShader

    ¨Why are you standing outside my door¨ ¨Because of the universal wavefunction and the boundary conditions of the universe.¨

    1. Reltzik

      … so it’s a standing wave.

      1. TheNinthShader

        Shit, I meant to have more diologue…
        ¨I didn’t know you were a physicist Becky!¨

  36. laura

    I’m surprised she’s allowed to have the door closed. That’s like…a secular kid’s privilege.

    1. Betty Anne

      Eh, not really. I was raised by atheists, and we weren’t allowed to have our door closed unless we were getting dressed/undressed.

    2. Cerberus

      Wait, there were families that didn’t even let their kids close their doors? 8o

      My knowledge of awful family structures is sorely lacking.

      1. Mika

        I’ve talked about my abusive father before on Patreon with you, cerberus, but, yeah – doors were NEVER to be closed in his presence. If they were locked, he’d try to kick them down. My punishment for closing my doors too often was to have my doors literally removed, so it was impossible for me to have privacy, so he could come and inspect whenever he wanted to. It was *really* important that he be able to do inspection at any time. :/

        1. Cerberus

          That’s so awful. *so many mega giga ultra hugs*

        2. achallenger

          glad im not the only one who lost door privlages as a kid

        3. Silamy

          I’m not alone? I’m not alone! I never got door privileges. Mom still makes a point of asserting her place as head of the family and walking in on me if the door to the room I’m in is closed.

        4. 3-I

          Ugh, that’s completely horrible… My mother never let us close our doors, but that was (according to her) because she was claustrophobic. So her punishment never involved anything too harsh for it. it still was uncomfortable for everyone, though…

        5. Bagge

          I… it’s…
          …

          *sympathy by light touch*

        6. LimeSheep

          ive never actually lost door privileges, but that didnt stop my mom from breaking the door down one day anyway
          it still doesnt close

      2. Derek

        this is also bizarre to me, I never heard of it until recently. is it a US-only thing?

        1. ischemgeek

          I’m Canadian. So not a US-only thing.

      3. ischemgeek

        I was not even allowed to have a door until 12. Soooyeah. That’s a thing that happens. Was never allowed a lock. Once, I bought a doorknob with a lock and installed it while they were out (I was like 16, so old enough that privacy and having boundaries respected is a genuine need, and I was sick and fucking tired of getting walked in on in the middle of changing and then getting yelled at for changing in my bedroom because my sister had been in the bathroom for 3 hours as if it was my fault they couldn’t be bothered to knock) and they kicked the door down on me and then made me pay for the damages. Allegedly because “safety” because “what if there’s a fire?” but in reality because my folks wanted to be able to barge in whenever they damn well pleased without so much as a knock, as evidenced by how irritated they got when I started putting heavy stuff in front of the door so I’d have warning when someone was coming in. “I don’t care if you want privacy, it’s my house, I will go wherever I want, whenever I want!” and “As long as you live under my roof you play by my rules!” and “It’s my way or the highway. I’m sure you can get loads of privacy under a bridge somewhere.” etc.

        It’s a control thing: some abusive families express their control of their kids by never allowing them to ever relax or let their guard down and refusing them any privacy. It wasn’t about the door or whether or not I needed privacy, it was about their ability to control whether or not I could relax even in my own space.

        Also “keep the door open” is a thing that happens a lot in more conservative households if the parents think that “inappropriate” behavior is going to happen (so, basically, if you’re with a different-gendered friend if they think you’re straight or if you’re with anyone if you were outed as bi to them involuntarily like what happened to me. Fun times. */sarcasm*)

        1. jengoci

          So basically it was all “We are worried about your safety but perfectly willing to throw you up to the gutter over our petty controlling fix”. But seriously so sorry to hear about that *hugs*

      4. metropotamian

        Oh yeah. I was even being molested by my creepy af stepdad and had my door privileges as well as my door removed a few times. Totally a thing and all about the control/breaking you psychologically.
        I got told that there weren’t doors in prison, and if I didn’t straighten up, that was where I was headed, so I should just get used to it.

      5. Wublub

        My mom wouldn’t let me shut the door when I was younger, even if I was just trying to keep my brothers out. The only exception was when I was changing clothes or wrapping presents.

      6. Warfoki

        I was never allowed to lock my door. They made me throw away the keys when the lock was changed (the old door handle got stuck). Add to this that my room is quite big, so we have several wardrobes here, storing a wide selection of things aside of my cloths: table cloths, towels, less used cloths of my parents, etc. And there was the fact that my father was in my room from morning till late at night until I was like 19 or so, since we only had room for his computer in my room. After that I finally managed to get him to set up his place in the dinner and leave me alone in my room. They generally don’t come in unless they have business in here (my father checking the wifi router when his net is down, or my mother packing away clothes), but then they come in without knocking or anything.

        Closing the door was never an issue, I could always do that. I was never punished with anything like this. It wasn’t a psychological warfare thing. It’s just that my mother is very prudish and at least borderline asexual and she just never realised that I might need privacy. As for my father, he once said jokingly, that I shouldn’t fap to porn when everybody is up and about in the house anyway and he’ll knock after sundown, which he really always did.

    3. Ctrl+C D@

      If you don’t have doors how can you angrily shut them after a heated conversation?

      1. Betty Anne

        You stomp down the hall or up the stairs, and then have your parents yell after you, “Don’t stomp in the house! And I don’t know what you’re mad about, anyway.” XP

    4. Fwip

      I grew up fundie. I could hang a privacy sign outside my door if I wanted.

    5. Yotomoe

      My door is basically never open unless I’m being punished. I assume because my mom is well aware that I am a young adult who has the internet in his room.

      1. TheNinthShader

        I have a PS4, A PC, a tablet,a phone, an Xbox, a DS, A DSI, a DSIXL, a 3DS, Nintendo 64, Gameboy, Gameboy advanced, WII, WiiU, WiiFit. Leave me in my room mom, I can entertain myself. (I’m not spoiled, I worked for that stuff)

        1. Yotomoe

          I can’t tell if you missed the point for why a young man with internet in his room would want to keep the door closed.

        2. TheNinthShader

          *cough* slipshine *cough*

        3. thejeff

          As a man who was young before the internet, I’ll just add that there were reasons to keep the door closed long before the internet. And they were probably the same reasons.

  37. SpoopyFox

    picking up sticks?

  38. Scubasteve0209

    Wait, Joyce likes Twilight? That seems counter to her upbringing…

    1. MrInsecure

      Twilight has a very strong message of celibacy, which is definitely in line with a lot of abstinence-only education. Wait until marriage, and all that.

      The fact that the marriage happens to produce an unholy hellspawn is kind of besides the point.

      1. Pedantic Peanut

        But I thought all marriages produced unholy hellspawn. The internet has lied to me 🙁

    2. caesaria82

      Nah, it has a lot of Christian themes, abstinence til marriage among other stuff, the author is super religious. Only I bet Joyce’s parents are unaware of the author being a Mormon lol.

    3. LordHaw

      My mom wouldn’t have let me watch anything like that…vampires are evil after all. So was Santa, Disney movies and a whole raft of other things. I could go with the vampire thing but the rest was pure crap of course.

    4. John

      It is known.

      (And, yeah, I totally remembered that. I actually think about Joyce whenever I run into Twilight in other contexts now.)

  39. Betty Anne

    After reading the comments thread tonight, I’ve discovered there are two types of people: those who spent more time than they cared to picking up sticks as a kid, and those who did not. ^^;

    1. Tacos

      I guess I’m lucky I never had to experience that. Sounds super un-fun.

      1. inqntrol

        It can be frustrating, but when you do it for a grill it doesn’t matter.

        1. ChrisHerself

          Yeah I’ll do anything for a good hamburger.

    2. Someone

      Some kids probably grew up in apartments or condos

      1. Liliet

        Also, some people??? don’t mow lawns??? don’t have lawns with lawn grass??? have yards without lawns??? i don’t even know how to properly call it
        it just seems really weird to me that people assume non-urban house = lawn why is this such a universal thing

        1. Bicycle Bill

          I always told my Dad we should just pave it and paint it green.  My other suggestion was to replace it with Astroturf, but he didn’t want to spend the money.

  40. Cerberus

    Oi, these two doofuses and their desperate desire to “not impose” on each other the one thing they probably most need. I mean, Joyce clearly needs to be able to rant about family, but feels constrained by Becky’s experiences, but Becky also needs to rant about Carol and her own family and feels she needs to keep quiet to respect Joyce’s own collapsing faith and awkward situation with her own folks.

    Both desperate to “not make things worse” but also leaving both feeling somewhat abandoned.

    Which also makes that Panel 4 all the more meaningful. Joyce taking Becky’s joke and using it as a symbol of acceptance that it’s okay for her to not freak out at the thought of “making things worse” with her mom and letting herself get bullied out of her normal Becky way of being.

    It’s… really quite sweet.

    1. Ctrl+C D@

      Hmmm…
      Sounds like we need to call Mike.

      1. Rukduk

        Possibly. But I’m pretty sure his talents would be better utilized elsewhere.

    2. Bagge

      Dooooooofuses 🙂

  41. Guairdean

    Looks like we just received a hint about punishment at the Brown household. I guess it could have been worse. http://www.examiner.com/article/another-couple-found-guilty-of-murder-for-parenting-by-to-train-up-a-child

    1. Someone

      I have never had more pure unadulterated hate for anyone before learning of Mr. Pearl.

      1. Seer Of Rage

        I literally vomited when reading this. Oh God.

  42. Mordecai

    Joyce is one of those swipe-typers…

  43. Spongegirl Circleskirt

    A bundle of sticks or twigs bound together as fuel? Heh.

  44. Lan

    Oh god the sticks. Willis why with the sticks. No more sticks grandpa please we’ve already raked the lawn bare…

  45. bearfuz

    I just know the sticks are a metaphor.

  46. Cerberus

    Also, I think Carol’s mom may have sold her soul to the devil in exchange for the snake demon powers necessary to rid her home of meddling lesbians.

    1. Lord Stoneheart

      … I’m missing a reference aren’t I?

      1. Cerberus

        I’m riffing on the “unhinging her jaw” part.

        1. Captain Button

          She is forgetting the Evil Overlord List: “I will not turn into a snake. That never helps.”

        2. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          Actually, snakes don’t unhinge their jaws. They just have very strange hinges.

    2. Fwip

      IM-HO-TEP

      IM-HO-TEP

    3. Yotomoe

      Clearly Mr. Brown is into some kinky shit.

      1. GenericScreenName101

        I’d say is speaks more about his anatomy.

    4. Captain Button

      So … Joyce is half-reptoid?

      1. No Name

        No, no, no, she only sold her soul when she found out Becky was a lesbian. Joyce would still be full human.

  47. Drs

    No jokes about “if I come in here”?

    1. Bagge

      We saved that for you

  48. Tyg3r

    I remember that chore–except instead of sticks it was dog poop. We had and fostered many dogs at a time in my youth, and the poop neverended

  49. hedgie

    Willis, I want to thank you. This version of the comic *is* much funnier.

    1. trlkly

      ??? What other version was there? Do you mean you like DoA better than the old Walkyverse comics?

      1. Captain Button

        He posted it 1 day in advance over on Patreon, as usual. But he decided he didn’t like panel 4 (panel 3 here) and said he would redo it. I don’t see the difference, but then I am a philistine artwise. He did move his patented obligatory borderless panel from 3 to 5, ad rewrote the text a bit.

      2. Will

        Willis posts the comic one day earlier for Patreon supporters. This one was slightly changed.

        1. hedgie

          Apologies, I should have probably been clear from the start that I was referring to the Patreon version.

  50. miados

    its like trying to bag the grass after you mow the lawn!!!

  51. brionl

    I was thinking WTF do sticks have to do with Twilight?!?
    Then I looked again and saw the poster.

  52. Imperator

    Seriously. I grew up on a farm with lots of trees in our yard, and after EVERY damned storm there’d be hundreds of the things, everywhere, of all sizes, and my grandpa insisted we even get the small ones. You’ll never pick them all up. They just keep coming.

  53. Briny

    This got dark. Nobody told me there’d be stick-collecting in this comic.

    Brr. I won’t go back- you can’t make me!

  54. Reynard-Miri

    Always more sticks. It never ends. It never ends. It never ends. @_@

  55. Architex

    Hah, the last strip with ‘twilight’ tagged was almost five years ago.

  56. Jackson

    Don’t even joke about the sticks. You crossed a line, Becky.

  57. Romanticide

    At this moment I am glad that in my family we don’t have any obsesion of having big grass surfaces, there is only a small patch under the tree at the front and perfection is not required from it…

  58. Yotomoe

    Those 10/10 Brown Girls.
    NSFW

    1. inqntrol

      I wouldn’t label this NSWF, they are pretty much wearing clothes..and a sign.

      1. Yotomoe

        Yeah but if you were at work that might raise some eyebrows. I can’t just look at victoria’s secret at work and be like “She’s in underwear boss, it’s fine”.

      2. LimeSheep

        underwear is still nsfw

    2. LordHaw

      Awesome Yotomoe!

    3. Bagge

      Awwwww, I can’t say what I love more, Carol’s disaproving glare, Joyce’s monkey master bra or Joyceline

    4. Captain Button

      Charlie’s Angels: The Webcomic

    5. Tenn

      It’s a good thing Jocelyne is fictional, because I now have an urge to pay for her hormone therapy/surgery, and I don’t think I could afford that.

  59. GenericScreenName101

    That last panel is proof that Becky is filling her head with all sorts of new information.

  60. cmd1095

    Well if nothing else, I can respect Joyce’s parents for their creative forms of punishment for misbehaving children.

  61. neeks

    i’m right there with joyce on the “how do i complain about my parents to my bff with a much worse parental situation?” topic. my best friend and i are pretty even on the “things to complain about re: our moms” front, but while i’ve got hella daddy issues, she was super close to her dad….who died of cancer a couple years ago. she’s had time to recover a bit from her loss and she does understand that different people have different relationships with their respective parents, but i still feel guilty for complaining about my dad situation when hey, at least he’s still alive, right? (not that he’s putting much effort into that, BUT ANYWAY.)

  62. boomboom

    So the “shoot me?” joke seems in poor taste

    1. Yotomoe

      It might be, but what’s Becky gonna do, Shoot her?

    2. Bagge

      It’s a call back to when Becky did the same joke earlier. That time Joyce was shocked by it. That she now make the same joke herself is a powerful signal to Becky that she is allowed to be Becky.

      1. Captain Button

        Somewhere, Walky shivers with a sudden sense of dread.

        1. Captain Button

          http://www.dumbingofage.com/2015/comic/book-6/01-to-those-whod-ground-me/hero-2/

      2. trlkly

        Good catch, Bagge! I didn’t get that.

        1. Bagge

          Thanks! I got it from Cerberus a bit up 🙂

  63. Bagge

    Seems like Joyce got the short end of the stick there *canned laughter*

    Awwwww, Joyce and Dotty is messing.
    Awwwwwwwww, Joyce doesn’t want to make Becky uncomfortable by complaining about her parents (a bit misguided, but still awwww-worhty)
    Awwwwwww, Becky doesn’t want to impose
    Awwwwww, Joyce is having none of that bullshit and lets Becky in and closes the door and refuses to be part in Carol’s attempt to make Becky feel miserable
    Awwwww, Joyce and Becky can joke about the shooting together
    Awwwwwwwww, Joyce and Becky joke about chores, just like they undoubtedly did as kids.
    AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW….ouch
    Spouse: “What happened to your jaw?”

    1. Sunny

      I think you meant to write “jawwwwww”.

  64. Jacques Cornelius Parrot III

    Becky would rather eat a bucket of bugs than pick up sticks

    http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1990/05/19

    1. Gamaran Sepudomyn

      Noooo, don’t hurt the bugs.

  65. Bagge

    Outside, Carol starts to hyperventilate.

    “They closed the door!!! Our daughter is alone with a LESBIAN”
    “She’s alone with Becky, dear…”
    “YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN”
    “…I’m afraid I do.”
    *Crashes door open, glares suspiciously at girls.*
    “DO YOU WANT SOME TEA?”
    *Five minutes later, crashes door open, glares suspiciously at girls.*
    “BISCUITS?”

    1. ZDX

      #haveabiscuitpotter ?

    2. DinaWho

      *dalek voice* YOU DO NOT RE-QUIRE TEA??

    3. Tenn

      “Mom, you still haven’t brought the tea.”

  66. Jhennaside

    I think I have a new punishment…

  67. ZDX

    This sticks thing was legitimately confusing until I read the comments. I couldn’t tell if it was an inside joke or some weird abusive thing that had happened to them in the past (though maybe I’ve just been reading too much achewood lately, as if that’s possible).

    But apparently it’s just that, since I’m from the city, I had no idea people go around picking up sticks in their yards as a chore.

  68. Bagge

    *Looks at tags*
    *Looks at posters*
    HYMMEL!!!!

  69. Mr. Random

    Having picked up the sticks in my, sizable, yard. IT NEVER ENDS. IT’S SO F***ing BIG! WHY THE F*** IS IT TAKING SO LONG. WHY CAN’T THE TREES JUST HOLD ONTO THEIR FREAKIN’ STICKS?

  70. Saaaam

    CARMAN

    1. Captain Button

      I keep seeing that as “Cartman”.

  71. Heather

    Mrs Brown stop being a complete and utter creep and stalking Becky. You are being a terrible host in so many ways.

  72. Palamdrone

    Joyce is a fan of the remake of Twilight that’s made in 2036, not the original.

  73. Heather

    Also I suppose picking up sticks is like the real life equivalent of Sisyphus and the boulder? Nice.

  74. Yotomoe

    http://i.imgur.com/9e3bYIJ.png
    Joyce may have a stain on her carpet tommorow.

    1. Badgermole

      I’m such a fan of your mind.

      1. Yotomoe

        That’s because you’ve only seen his better side.

    2. Cacturne

      Yoto you beautiful bastard, you

      Also, did her boobs increase between the first and second panels, or is it just me?

    3. Bagge

      “Think of dinosaurs, think of dinosaurs…”

      1. Sunny

        “dinosaurs, dinosaurs, dinasaurs, Dina, threesome… FUCK!”

  75. BenRG

    I wonder who Joyce was texting? Dorothy, Jocelyn or maybe one of her brothers? I can’t think of anyone else with whom she’d feel able to discuss this. Unless she’s writing a public blog post… Wouldn’t that have repercussions!

  76. Captain Button

    I just want to note that I grew up in a house on over an acre of land in a tree-ridden region of the US, and never heard of this picking up sticks thing.

    So obviously this is another one of those things Willis just made up.

  77. MarkusN

    OK, so that’s the second mentioning of humans unhinging their jaws in two days in the few comics I am watching. Is there a comic-meme going on?

    1. TheNinthShader

      JAWS MUST UNHINGE

    2. ChrisHerself

      My theory is it’s a shoutout to the best hamburger commercial of all time.

  78. Asper Storm

    I don’t get it sticks?

    1. Smiling Cat

      People in areas abundant with trees who don’t have proper lawnmowers have an endless supply of sticks in their yards.

      1. dethtoll

        And if your parents are of a certain age, they make you pick up sticks anyway regardless of lawnmower quality.

        Now that I mow my own lawn I don’t give a fuck unless it’s a particularly large branch or something (which is fairly frequent during the spring.)

        1. RP

          I grew up with a yard that had a few trees but we didn’t have to pick up every single tiny stick.

      2. RP

        Ah, OK. I thought I was missing a key reference.

  79. Kaffeeteria

    Honestly, “collecting sticks” is a thing? We had many trees in the garden but all we ever did was make leaf piles which were fun to jump in.

  80. Kaffeeteria

    And on a side note: why would Joyce complain about her dad? Her mom I can understand but her dad has so far been the one only person (besides her) who’s willing to apply christian principles to his way of thinking. All other “christians” have been hate-spewing, poisonous, intolerant, vitriolic, self-righteous assholes.

    1. No Name

      Did you forget yesterday’s strip? Both Sierra and Agatha are devout Christians, at least enough to voluntarily go to church, and both are good characters. Mary, Carol and Ross Babies MacIntyre are the only hate-spewing Christians in the comic, and they are currently out-numbered four-and-half to three on the known Christian front (Becky counts too; Hank is trying, but not yet there).

      1. Spencer

        Agatha is Mormon.

        1. thejeff

          Mormons are generally considered Christian. At least by those who don’t like to wall off anyone they don’t approve of from Christianity. Like Mary, who probably also considers Catholics non-Christian. (Do we have a Catholic in the cast? I don’t think so.)
          That said, the sociologist part of my brain does think they really shouldn’t be classified as Christian. The new revelations and holy books push them into a new category – offshoot of Christianity, much like Christianity is an offshoot of Judaism.
          As an atheist, I don’t intend any value judgment with that, unlike many Christians who want to “other” Mormons.

        2. Spencer

          Amber is Catholic.

        3. thejeff

          Is she? Cool. I didn’t remember that.
          Did it come up here? Or in Shortpacked?

        4. Spencer

          Not in comic, but Willis mentioned it at some point in the comments. Something along the lines of “Like all good guilt ridden superheroes, Amber O’Malley is Catholic.”

        5. Sunny

          Ah yes, with that family name it’d be weird if she hadn’t been raised Catholic.

      2. Cerberus

        I dunno, hating queer people has been a “Christian” value for a good long while now. Christians who don’t suck may dislike that, much as they may dislike how the religion in America has become synonymous with hating sex, sexuality, women’s freedoms, and backwards racial ideas, but it doesn’t mean that the religion’s most public face hasn’t stood for exactly that.

        Nor does it mean that the type of Fundamentalist Evangelical Christianity that Willis grew up with hasn’t stood for exactly that.

        There’s a lot of good Christians in comic. Hank, Joyce, and Becky for Evangelical Christianity. Danny, Billie, Agatha, Sierra, Sierra’s parents for Christians in general.

        And erasing them to convince oneself that Willis is being unfair rather than speaking from painful personal experience is kinda a bit of a douchey thing to do.

        1. Kaffeeteria

          I wasn’t erasing anyone. I just have no clue who Sierra and Agatha are, and I forgot several others. Many of this comic’s characters simply don’t stick (LOL) with me. And I’m a german atheist, so this american religious war is totally alien to me anyway.

  81. Willoughby Chase

    This is what sticks are for:

    https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=pooh+sticks&client=ubuntu&hs=WrR&channel=fs&tbm=isch&imgil=R2chEkBPmUG-eM%253A%253BGpa7r9GKF55mLM%253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fwww.telegraph.co.uk%25252Fnews%25252Fnewstopics%25252Fhowaboutthat%25252F11823069%25252FWhy-Christopher-Robin-lost-at-Poohsticks-his-stick-was-too-thin.html&source=iu&pf=m&fir=R2chEkBPmUG-eM%253A%252CGpa7r9GKF55mLM%252C_&usg=__UMLzDGPKyOggf4cadQyj6tVs9Qs%3D&biw=1366&bih=641&ved=0ahUKEwjLxtb8k4bLAhWH1BoKHYooAaUQyjcIUA&ei=80LIVouBFYepa4rRhKgK#imgrc=UrAeLZUpt7VvAM%3A

  82. Cacturne

    That preview panel for the 31 is suddenly more terrifying.

    Also, the sticks! i think of them, and i just want something to crawl into to be safe and warm forever.

  83. podian

    Sticks might be bad, but there are worse things – like parents deciding that it’s a splendid idea to have a vegetable garden in the yard, or never ending invasion of reeds from outside the fence…

  84. Eric

    People with yards that are receptacles for leaves in the fall: buy a Stihl BR600. Don’t be like “Ugh but it’s SOOOO expensive! And I don’t need the pro version, i’m not a professional.”, just buy one. It is seriously a game changer.

  85. AsparagusEdu

    Joyce, i guess you are “stick” doing it.

    eeeeeh?

  86. Sigurther

    Geeze, that’s some serious emotional trauma right there. o.O

  87. all that

    Oh CRAP! Joyce’ mom is… MY MOM!?!

  88. Sam

    I think Joyce is posting on a blog or more likely (based on the scrollover text) Twilight fandom sites. She is probably talking to fellow twilight fans.

    I’m glad she has an outlet *somewhere*.

    1. Sam

      I now see that the scroll over might refer to the poster in Joyce’s room.

      SO THERE GOES MY AMAZING FANBLOG THEORY. RIP.

  89. Sensei Le Roof

    Wait wait wait, Hymmel the what now?!

    1. Catullus

      Hymmel the Humming Hymnal, the high point of children’s entertainment.

  90. Liliet

    Oh my god Joyce’s hand movements are so weird here

    that’s… still supposed to be a cast, right??? not a weird long fingerless glove???

    1. David M Willis

      it was never a cast

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2016/comic/book-6/02-that-perfect-girl/sprained/

    2. Arianod

      Casts are so XXth century.

  91. Sam

    I guess this comic settles that Becky’s mother has passed away. I remember reading some questions about it the comment thread a while ago.

  92. junkfx

    First time commenting, very long time reader. This strip just hits home SO HARD! When I was a kid my “job” was to pick up the sticks in my backyard (we lived on a 2 acre forest. One summer, THE SUMMER of 1990, I picked up sticks every day for 2 months in order to “win” a Super Mario 3 cartridge. I still have my mario 3 game and box and is one of my most coveted possessions because it taught me the value of work at an early age.

    Thank you so much for this strip!

  93. Nathan Samson

    Oh god, STICK CLEANING. I remember that. It really does never end.

  94. Captain Button

    The Batman*-tilt in panels 2 and 3 is giving me flashbacks to Joyce’s hanky-panky dream.

    * 1960s TV version

  95. Cheryl

    The sticks just keep coming!

  96. Arianod

    Not only I had forgotten that Joyce was a Twilight fan, I did NOT expect the Hymmel poster >_<

    But then I guess nobody expected it.

    1. Bicycle Bill

      Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, either.

  97. Tenn

    I like how people are either like “OMG YES, picking up sticks was the worst” or “What? Sticks? What is this?” and I’m like “Yeah, I never had to pick up sticks myself, but if you have trees in a yard, sticks are going to fall off sooner or later, that’s pretty obvious.”

  98. Michael Haneline

    Am I the only one who read “mae you pick up sticks” and at first thought it was the old “go get me a switch” thing?

  99. penguintruth

    I used to live in Connecticut. STICKS EVERYWHERE.

    1. thejeff

      Still in Connecticut. I don’t really remember this from my childhood, but I’ve bought a house recently and it has all the sticks. And even more acorns.

      Even within a small state, it’s very area dependent.

  100. ToweringInferno

    Joyce has a Carman poster on her door… clearly Willis has lived this life.

  101. Rowan Weaver

    I like to think the detail on the Eclipse poster isn’t a time-saving thing but that that’s just how the poster looks in-universe.

  102. Bicycle Bill

    “There’s always more sticks, Becky.  THERE’S. ALWAYS. MORE. STICKS.”
    ——————————
    OK, now I’ve got THIS stuck in my mind……

  103. Sock_v

    I feel the pain. My father once cut some 12′ of twine into half inch pieces for me to pick up…when I finished he just took the pieces from me and tossed them back out and I got to start over.

  104. Shawn L.

    Off the wall theory on who she is texting:

    Mike.

    She’s employed him before (her date with Joe). He specializes in making people miserable. She’s pissed at her mom. His rate for moms: a nickel.

  105. hallucigenia

    Wait, what? You can’t just rake them up?? I’m confused…

  106. Griffin

    Yardwork is where I draw the line.

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