177

Cat
Posted on December 24, 2014 by David M Willis

177 thoughts on “Cat”

  1. Camachri

    Mask? Check. Chainsaw? Working on it.

    1. otusasio451

      If a chainsaw is unavailable, a hockey stick is acceptable.

      1. Opus the Poet

        Or a golf bag full of club-like sports items.

        1. thebombzen

          Maybe just a selfie stick 😀

        2. ATN

          “Beaten to death with a selfie stick” has nice ring to it.

        3. evilmidnightlurker

          Goongala.

        4. Ninja Ned

          The Goongas.

        5. I lol'd

          I was not expecting to see The-Evil-Midnight-Bomber-What-Bombs-At-Midnight this morning, and then your gravitar… Bravo! To that I have but one reply:

          Spoon!

      2. Camachri

        Wait, what? How are you going to cut a tree down with a hockey stick?

        1. Amber

          Well, she’s gonna get the cat down by fine tuning her slam dunk.

        2. otusasio451

          …You know, I totally missed that aspect of the joke. I went for the pop culture aspect without logic even entering into it.

        3. Kryss LaBryn

          How about a herring?

        4. tyersome

          I think it would be kind of fishy if she ‘ad one redy …

        5. Jammy

          Well thats only if she can’t get a satisfactory shrub.

        6. No Name

          First off, that’s “shrubbery”, second off, “it”

        7. Deanatay

          Maybe a red one…?

        8. otusasio451

          Ah, the Knights who say Ni.
          Or, rather, the knights who say Ecky-Ecky-Ecky-Ecky-PaKANG-ZOOM-Poing-kzmbazmba.

        9. Roborat

          Ni!

    2. podian

      You know, a chainsaw COULD get that cat on the ground…

  2. Emoroffle

    Chainsaw good.

  3. otusasio451

    Does she dare live out the cliche?

  4. Hoboturtle

    She then murders that cat.

    1. Lucretiel

      This kills the cat.

      1. thebombzen

        It’d too bad someone let the cat out of the bag. It was so safe

        1. Thomas64

          It was so curious

        2. tyersome

          I say that cats up to no good I predict it fries from Amazi-squirrels grasp and then hot-dogs it to the ground …

          … after all poor Amber is already barking mad – the treemendous strain associated with this might leaf her out of her tree.

  5. Rikonius

    Ch-Ch-Ch…
    Meow-meow-meow

  6. Jen Aside

    “You mess with the cat, you get the CLAWS.”

    “You mess with the girl, you get THE HITLER!!”

    1. Yotomoe

      Go Team Venture!

    2. Bagge

      Wait, what?

      1. Chupicron

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rF-BO2N8hvY It’s a Venture Brothers thing.

        1. Bagge

          …Wait, what?

          Oh, Venture Brothers. Don’t mind me, I’ll just smile and nod and work my way towards the exit.

    3. JustCheetoDust

      It seemed like there wasn’t a lot of Girl Hitler in The Venture Bros. Turns out that is the case (two episodes).

      1. Jen Aside

        TRUE FACTS: I became a Venture Bros. fan the same way I became a Get Smart fan… we left the TV on whatever and ended up watching.

        Only for those two shows, though.

        1. Jen Aside

          Possibly Mythbusters, but I can’t remember

        2. JustCheetoDust

          I saw the pilot when I was in college, back when the Monarch was just glorified fodder for Samson instead of the shining beacon of failure he is now. The pilot didn’t seem to do much to go beyond what Adult Swim was typically known for, but the episodes produced afterwards quickly changed that.

        3. Daibhid C

          Apart from Doctor Who and the recent spate of superhero TV shows, I think that’s the only way I started watching anything.

    4. Kris

      “THE CAT HAIR IN MIEN WATTEERR!!”

      1. Bizze

        OF COOOURRSEE!!!!

    5. Questionor

      Kitlers?

  7. Opus the Poet

    Yep, protect that face when getting a cat out of a tree

    1. pumpkincat

      This was pretty much my reaction to the strip too. ‘Yep, protect the face, that’s good thinking’. Didn’t think Jason Voorhees until I glanced at other people’s comments.

      1. otusasio451

        I thought both things simultaneously.

        1. Kryss LaBryn

          Yup. Our cat got stuck on the roof. Saw her on my way to work; my husband had to get her down.

          When he got close enough, she got down by jumping onto his head and hanging on for dear life while he climbed back down.

          May need more protection than just hockey mask…

        2. Solenoid

          “Elevator for one, going meown.”

      2. StClair

        Same here.
        and re the hovertext: “Probably? Definitely.“

      3. Thomas64

        My first thought was that the cat was a hallucination and that Amber had finally gone completely around the bend. Guess that says something about the kind of movies I like to watch.

  8. Daddy

    A can of cat food with a pull-top lid would probably be of more use. I’ve found cats can typically get down if you give them a good reason to.

    1. Yotomoe

      Just put down a cat playboy. He’ll find his way down (but put down a playgirl, just to be safe).

      1. JustCheetoDust

        Because “Cat Inches magazine” would just be ridiculous.

    2. Dean

      Or she could use the cinderblock from two strips ago. She probably won’t even need to score a direct hit.

  9. lordoftheoneyedpurplepeopleeaters

    from amazi-girl to jason in 2.5 seconds a new world record

    1. AgentKeen

      She’s not wearing a bowtie….

      1. lordoftheoneyedpurplepeopleeaters

        maybe she doesn’t feel like being fancy?

    2. buckybone

      She pressed X.

  10. Regalli

    Smart choice, AG. Smart choice.

  11. Twilightomens

    Kitty kitty kitty kitty kittykittykitty.

  12. Yotomoe

    A WILD MEW! THOSE ARE SUPER RARE!!!

    1. Betty Anne

      It’s faking her out. It’s actually a Missingno and it’s going to glitch out all the work she’s put in tonight.

  13. Kris

    Cause we know that cat was gonna scratch someone’s eyes out tonight.

    1. newllend

      Oh , I thought she was going to scare the cat out of the tree or cut down the tree.

  14. DSL

    A laser pointer is also of use in coaxing a cat. Most cats, anyway.

  15. Bagge

    CATFIGHT. #SorryNotSorry

  16. newllend

    Really Amazi-girl? Love you are everything I ever wanted.

  17. Dragon

    Wait, is she going to murder that cat??

    1. John

      No, she’s going to go murder the black comic relief and the sexually active blonde. In absence of a chainsaw, she will wield the cat.

      Nice knowing you, Walky and Dorothy.

      1. otusasio451

        CATSAW MASSACRE

        This time…it’s personal. And weird.

      2. Bagge

        They saw it coming.
        http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/02-i-was-a-teenage-churchmouse/intent/

        1. ShaggyDonahugh

          Huh…Joyce must of picked up the whole “Eyebrows off the face” thing from Becky before she ended up in IU

  18. John

    Where the hell does she keep that?

    1. Bagge

      Her utility belt, duh.

      I’m more worried about exactly what she planned for when she packed it.

      1. Kris

        For scaring the bejeezuz out of cheerleaders at a lake obviously.

        1. Bagge

          That makes a disturbing amount of sense for a college vigilante.

      2. democraticMayonaise

        Then what’s with the beat panel?

        1. John

          It’s not just a beat panel; she went somewhere during it and returned with a hockey mask. But did she run back to her dorm room the Amazi-Lair to grab it out of her closet the Amazi-Armory? Did she find an all-night sporting goods store and purchase it? Did she drop in on the local underground midnight hockey league and go all, “Excuse me, citizens. Don’t panic. I must commandeer your hockey mask. Thank you for your assistance”? Does she keep it somewhere on her person where she can’t get it out on-camera? Does she have Amazi-caches scattered about campus?

          Dorothy should ask her these things.

        2. democraticMayonaise

          That quickly? I guess the panels could mean any amount of time.

        3. Jen Aside

          Clearly she beat up Jason and took his mask

        4. ShaggyDonahugh

          I just pictured her beating up DoA’s Jason and taking a hockey mask that he for some reason had on his person.
          I can’t stop laughing.

        5. Jen Aside

          Jason is ripe for robbing

        6. Bagge

          She commandeered it. That’s the most hilarious explanation. Especially if she did it while speedskating past the poor hockey players.

        7. JWLM

          I assume she broke into Ruth’s … um, no, maybe that wouldn’t work just now.

  19. The wizard

    *plays the jason theme.*

    1. newllend

      I thought his theme was just a bunch of whispers and Gasp’s

      1. Jess

        kukukuku
        chchchch
        ahahahah

        1. otusasio451

          DUHDUH

          DUHDUH

          DUHDUH

          DUHDUH

        2. Kryss LaBryn

          jasonjasonjason

          killkillkill

      2. The wizard

        I was actually thinking about Micheal’s theme when I typed it, but the mask made me say Jason.

    2. Gamaran Sepudomyn

      Bowtie bowtie bowtie bowtie.

  20. ChickenButt

    Cue the next song on the soundtrack! — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYI1-Dy0wmI

    (It’s all first-wave punk tunes for Amazigirl scenes, though usually it’s The Slits or X-Ray Spex rather than the Ramones.)

  21. Pteropine

    aint the first catfight in this comic

  22. Sionyx

    Aww, you don’t know kitty’ll go all clawball on you! She’s mewing, that means she at least somewhat socialized!

    …Yeah, I’d go for mask and welding gloves…

    1. Solenoid

      The natural state of a cat is clawball. It’s the odd ones that are docile.

  23. democraticMayonaise

    I’ve always associated that mask with Bloody Mary, but then I started hoping that Mary would try to get that cat down.
    … Was that too harsh?
    … yeah, no.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      That would require Mary to even attempt to rescue the cat.

  24. NF

    For some reason I thought of Pokemon before I realized what the hell was going on.

    1. democraticMayonaise

      didnt we all

      1. Disloyal Subject

        Nope.

  25. Aubri

    My cat once decided to climb up the chain link fence surrounding a tennis court. I had to climb up after her because she couldn’t get down… I’m so lucky she didn’t claw my face off.

  26. Kernanator

    Yeah, I think Amazi-Girl could use more protection. Like, say, an entire suit of armor.

    1. Disloyal Subject

      Good luck climbing a tree in that.
      (Assuming you mean full plate, based on “suit.” Chainmail’s heavy too, but still well within ‘humanly possible.’)

      1. Kryss LaBryn

        Knew a guy who could do cartwheels in his full plate.

        It’s all about how you hang it. Chain’s actually worse because all the weight is on your shoulders (although a belt helps slightly).

        Rather climb a tree in full plate than chain mail. Plus the plate would be better for keeping out cat claws (might go straight through the chain if the gaps are big enough) and if you fell, it’d give you more protection.

        The guy who did cartwheels actually got hit by a small Honda doing pretty close to town speeds. His knees took out the grill, the rest of him took out the hood and the windshield. The suit was all scratched up; he was fine; the car most definitely was not.

        Full plate ftw!!

        1. tyersome

          Guy I went to high-school with did something similar … only head-on from a bike, without the plate mail … of course he was built like fireplug …

        2. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          That is the most awesome thing I’ve heard.

        3. John

          A guy I know in the SCA used to go to the fighter practice in Boston, and since he didn’t have a car, this meant he would ride the T in his armor, because wearing it is by far the easiest way to carry it. Well, one day, one of the local dukes was practicing up to fight in Crown, so practice was basically “everybody fights the duke until they’ve had enough”. The duke was a lefty, and kept hitting my friend with the same shot – a wrap into the back of the right thigh – and over the course of the practice brutalized that leg.

          Well, after practice, he was limping back from the T stop to his apartment, and a passing truck tagged him, bumper clipped him right in the back of the thigh. The driver came to a screeching halt, jumped out, and was all, “Oh my god, I hit you, are you okay?!”

          My friend said, “No, no, I’m fine, don’t worry about it, I’m wearing armor,” but the driver insisted on taking him to the clinic to be checked out. My friend didn’t have anything better to do, so he let the guy drive him over to the clinic.

          Doctor came in, he dropped his pants, and the doctor checked out the huge, obvious bruise on his thigh. “Wow, that’s a nasty one,” the doctor said. “You say you were hit by a truck?”

          “No, doc,” he said, “that was the other leg.”

      2. John

        My mail (about 40 pounds, not including the helm) is actually heavier than my plate was (about 35 pounds, also not including helm). It is flexier and easier to move in, though. I can do somersaults and cartwheels in either. There’s been more than once I’ve gotten bowled over by a charge, turned it into a backwards somersault, rolled back onto my feet, and ganked the guy who knocked me down. My shield is a bigger hindrance to this sort of thing than the armor.

        I can’t say as I’ve ever climbed a tree in armor, but I did once climb the outside of our DM’s condo to his second-floor balcony in my plate. He’d been telling me that it was impossible for my D&D character to do something similar (this was back in the 2E days before Climb skills and ACP that would’ve provided actual rules for such things), so I said, “Okay, I’ve got my armor in the back of my car. I’ll show you.”

        1. Solenoid

          What was his reaction when you got up there?

        2. StClair

          One of the little ways that my time in the SCA enriched my life is that I know what someone walking around in armor sounds like – the clatter of the legplates and the rhythmic ‘shing, shing, shing’ of the mail.

      3. gwalla

        You might be surprised at what you can do in full plate.

  27. Opus the Poet

    Probably next to where she keeps her shoes when she’s in AG mode.

  28. Solenoid

    Yay, kitty!

  29. Khaner

    No! Don’t murder kitty with a machete after fifty terrible sequels!

    1. Grimlock64

      Nah, Amber’s pretty sensible. She’ll stop after thirty terrible sequels, one good reboot, and then two more bad sequels.

  30. Gigafreak

    Amber is now wearing a mask over her mask

    Amber’s identity crisis grows more worrisome by the day

    1. Bagge

      Didn’t twoface do something like that once?

      1. JustCheetoDust

        Maybe you meant [the wrestler] Sting.

        1. gwalla

          …what.

          He was wearing a mask.

          Of his own face.

          With facepaint underneath.

          What.

    2. Jen Aside

      It’s called “layering”–weather’s getting colder, after all

  31. Kyle

    it’s a trap

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      It’s a tabby/

      1. tyersome

        You’re kitten, right?

  32. tyersome

    I’m worried that this could be it, the event many of us have been dreading …

    … the one that leads to the catastrophe that induces cataplexy in readers and leaves Amber cataleptic if not catatonic …

    or purrhaps she’ll just catapult into the tree and catch the cat …

    1. democraticMayonaise

      The last one would be purrfect, she’ll use her cat like reflexes to not get bitten

      1. tyersome

        … but the caterwauling will be hair-raising fur sure …

    2. Nightsbridge

      Whatever the answer, we’ll need to catalogue it.

      1. tyersome

        Cat’s right! We’d be out of our tree to puss out and not find a way to scratch out a scientifi claw from this.

  33. TheHappyLeopard

    It took me a second to get this joke, but yeah, that’s by far the smartest way I’ve ever seem someone rescue a cat. I should be taking notes.

    1. SmilingCat

      Nonono, first you put out a can of cat food. Frequently the cat suddenly figures out how to get down to get at noms.

      Sometimes shaking a bag of cat treats has the same affect. And Amazigirl says she’s prepared for anything…

  34. Leorale

    Oh man, I think it’s that jerk stray cat from Shortpacked!
    It is like Mike, but a cat.
    http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=1083
    http://www.shortpacked.com/index.php?id=1270

    1. democraticMayonaise

      pronounced mike-at
      or perhaps my-cat
      it’s a whole realm of combinations. catike, mciakte, cmaitke, or my personal favorite, mat.

  35. democraticMayonaise

    nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan

  36. Plasma Mongoose

    Cat VS Squirrel

    1. newllend

      The Cats out of his element.

      1. tyersome

        … but not out of its tree …
        Anyway it’s good to branch out into mew areas …

        1. Solenoid

          Though, in trying mew things and leaving the old behind, you necessarily abandon the purrsuit of purrfection.

        2. tyersome

          Manx for your input, but unfurtuneately I’m not sure purrfection can be reached — even if one gets within a whisker, there will be dangling details …

  37. Chengrel

    I’m going to assume Amazi-girl ritualistically sacrifices small animals while wearing a hokey mask because that’s more fun than thinking she just saves them.

  38. Kiggy

    huh?

  39. David

    What has she got in her pocketses?

  40. lightsabermario

    Oddly enough, my initial reaction didn’t go to face protection or Voorhees. It went to avoiding recognition by the cat, so that the cat can’t recognize your face and meow whenever it sees it, even it she’s out of her disguise. That’s the way it works with crows. (In fact, if you ever want to piss off someone who lives near crows, harass them while wearing a mask that makes you look like him. The crows will harass him for eternity, long after the original harassed crows have died off.)

    1. Solenoid

      Though a cat may yet recognize her scent.

      1. tyersome

        That’s a descent thought!

  41. Lordess of Madness

    Smart move, very smart move

    1. Deanatay

      Clearly, not Amazi-Girls’ first kitty rescue.

  42. LittleSpeck

    FUCK YOU MISTER BITEY

  43. rezby

    My first thought was that she was allergic to the cat and wanted to minimize the amount of cat fur that would fly into her face while removing it from the tree.

    But protection from claws is also smart.

  44. Arianod

    This is a job for… AMAZI-VOORHEES!

  45. Bluesnake462

    Gotta protect the face

  46. Oberon

    The combination of the Freddy mask and the mouseover text gave me a good belly laugh.

    Happy holidays!

  47. The Dayman

    Found the cat! Whoops, wrong comic.

  48. Bill

    Don’t try to handle this one alone, Amazi-Girl!
    Call for backup!!

    1. NotPiffany

      She doesn’t need backup.

      “I’ve got my safety gear on, and I ain’t scared!” title=”Mean Kitty Song”

  49. dekho1

    Hello, Mr. Cat, I want to play a game.

  50. Sir Robin

    Is that the DoA Singaularkitty?

  51. dull

    Either she will save the cat or go on a killing spree.

  52. ensiform

    Is anyone else bothered that this cat has not yet committed a crime?

  53. Dave

    Um, I like everyone’s witty banter here, but am I really the only one that’s going to ask? How did she beat that dude up yesterday? In fact, Dave Willis, could we please have some flashback on Amber’s karate training? I love that she’s a superhero and tough. Agile and strong. But those characteristics alone aren’t going to overcome a big dude’s natural advantages of strength and size.
    It’s seriously affecting my ‘suspension of disbelief’.

    1. Luzahn

      http://www.dumbingofage.com/2013/comic/book-3/04-just-hangin-out-with-my-family/gorilla/

      I think this works as an explanation?

      1. Solenoid

        On top of that, Creepy Dude from yesterday probably hasn’t any training in martial arts. Wheras Blaine decided that giving Amber self-defense training was better than sending her to a shrink like everyone else wanted. I think, from what the strip shows us again and again, we know which option won out.

    2. John

      All else being equal, size and strength will win in a fight.

      All else is not equal here. Amazi-Girl is a friggin’ superhero, and her opponent was some random dudebro. From what we’ve seen in the strip, A-G is amazingly physically capable – strong, athletic, and knows how to use it. Just in the last strip, we saw her leap high enough to knee a dude taller than her in the face. (Go ahead, try that. It’s not easy.) And she beats the shit out of people a lot. Even if she had never had any formal training (and it’s been implied (if not outright stated; I don’t remember) that she has), she’s had enough practice to learn a thing or two.

      I’ve observed before… Amber’s kind of a chunky girl. But from what we’ve seen Amazi-Girl do, I’m pretty sure that the Amazi-Rack is the only part of that that’s soft weight. She’s probably actually heavier than she looks, because muscle is denser than fat. And blow power comes from the hips, and she’s got those to spare.

      Dudebro, on the other hand… well, we don’t know all that much about him. He’s bigger than she is. He’s not super-fat, but he looks pretty soft. His only six-pack is the ones he’s been lifting to pack on that weight. And from his attack method, he knows jack about fighting.

      I find it totally plausible that Amazi-Girl hit him until he stopped trying to get back up, and he never laid a hand on her.

      Much like her alter-ego did to her own father not all that long ago.

      1. Paul

        All that works to a point. In a world without radioactive spider bites, babies rescued from doomed planets, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords, etc., Amazi-Girl can be beaten by a stronger opponent who also knows how to fight. Or someone who is armed. Or by more than one person. Or by being unlucky (or sleep deprived). She won’t win every fight, forever. She only has to lose once.

  54. Animal

    Amazi-chick doesn’t know what she’s in for. This cat has obviously been cornered by the Squirrel Mafia.

    1. Animal

      Sure enough! They obviously have an underground genetics lab in Indiana; here’s the proof.

      http://www.scarysquirrel.org/vacation/indiana/index.html

      1. Dragon

        How the hell did you find this website?? It is Hilarious!

        1. Animal

          I can’t say. The skwerls, they’re everywhere. It’s nuts, I tell ya – just nuts!

        2. tyersome

          Acorny response if I ever heard one …

        3. Animal

          Almond say that if you pecan make a pun, walnut?

        4. Dragon

          Cashew quit with the nutty puns?!

        5. Animal

          I can nut. Mugongo crazy if I try.

        6. tyersome

          Someone might beech about this thread, but I pine for this sort of nuttiness.

        7. Animal

          I larch from one to another.

        8. tyersome

          Wow this thread turned out to be a real treet!

  55. Timni

    Amazi-girl seems to be busy tonight. Maybe she will even be busier later *Bob’s Burgers sensual music plays in the background*

  56. Vangeln

    Another beating? That’ll teach you kitty!

  57. Kugai

    Jason Vorhees just called, he wants his spare mask back.

  58. Animal

    And in all fairness to Amber, I have to admit, I spent a good part of my college career looking for pussy, too.

  59. man in black

    Got to protect the face

  60. sithknightgalen

    Ahh, Amazi-Girl got a facemask upgrade…guess things got real when it comes to furry opponents…

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