125

Sshh
Posted on March 12, 2012 by David M Willis
Vote for me! When people see this poll, I want people to see actually popular comics like MS Paint Adventures and Penny Arcade and XKCD at the top of this list, and then see my stuff there with them, and wonder that the holy fuck is going on. I will be the most fake-popular cartoonist in all the land!

125 thoughts on “Sshh”

  1. Jen Aside

    UH OH EYES

    1. carl320

      The eyes! They’re back :O

    2. Michael

      What will he throw at her head now?

      1. fellixe

        The funniest thing possible would be if he picked up Walky and threw him at her head.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          and just how will he do that? Use time travel perhaps?

        2. Zuche

          Spatula. The obvious answer is a spatula.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          And a big ass spatula at that!

        4. Dragoonchris

          or get her ancestor and use an oversized boomerang.

        5. Jenny Creed

          Levers and fulcrums, man. Possibly even a pulley.

        6. Blob Marley

          I was gonna leave it alone, but you asked so nicely…

          WITH.
          HIS.
          PENIS.

        7. Maycroft

          FOR
          A
          NI-
          CKEL.

        8. Historyman68

          Walky the giraffe, obviously.

  2. mechaqua

    Didn’t He just tell you to ssshhh?

  3. Wonder Wig

    I am feeling feelings!

    1. fellixe

      Nothing more than feelings

      1. mechaqua

        Trying to forget my feelings of love.

        1. Plasma Mongoose

          Obligatory Feelings video flip.

        2. Zuche

          Please be the one with Beaker, please be the one with… aww, I am doubly disappointed. Not only is it Muppet free, but the content is not available in this great(ly disappointed) nation of mine.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          That’s a shame, it was only the standard Morris Albert version anyhow.

        4. Sophia

          I LOVE THE ONE WITH BEAKER
          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oRX1t0Crek

        5. Wonder Wig

          My country too does not want me to feel your feelings

        6. Blob Marley

          > Trying to forget my feelings of hate!

          Fixed for The Offspring.

        7. Dragon Nataku

          Feelings!
          Feelings like I never liked you
          Feelings like I wanna kill you
          Live in my heaaaaaaart~

    2. Xartarin

      MY. EMOTIONS.

  4. Izzy

    J.J
    __

  5. Lord Simius

    I love that Walky spent the entire strip talking and then tells Dorothy to shut up. XD

    1. Doctor_Who

      A true Casanova.

    2. MichaelHaneline

      At least he didn’t tell her to make him a sammich.

    3. Blob Marley

      SHH! TV GOOD FOR ED!

  6. RJ

    SEAL CLAP! My favorite ship sails onward!

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      …but still surrounded by magnetic iceburgs.

      1. Blob Marley

        There goes my solid state memory…

  7. andrew

    First time i read this i forgot they where in collage xD

    1. Vabolo

      You mean they’re assembling a picture by snipping other images and gluing them together?

      1. andrew

        xD i didn’t catch that, man the difference one letter can make huh

        1. Blob Marley

          But you where so close :3

        2. Aydr

          He’s right their silly.

        3. GrammarHitler

          There*

        4. Aydr

          …you do get the joke right?

        5. David

          I think we need UnderstandingContextHitler.

        6. N0083rP00F

          They are = They’re
          Wrong there/their/they’re Mr Grammar PeoplesNationalSocialistParty

  8. Tristan J

    I predict that Walky will give a short lecture in which he separates the feeling of sexual attraction (which he does feel for Dorothy) and ‘liking’ (which he does not, because they don’t know each other that well and love is a feeling that develops)!

    Either that or he’ll chuck a DVD at her face and run for it.

    1. mechaqua

      But its his room?

      1. Tristan J

        I consider it in-character for him so far to flee from his own room.

        1. Gundi

          Hey, you can never be too safe. Dorothy might have cooties.

        2. Tristan J

          … Which she would then spread through the room.

          Gundi, man, you gotta think this kinda thing through. Don’t want no fool girl spreadin’ her cooties through a guy’s room.

        3. Plasma Mongoose

          …and the dorm will make him pay for the fumigation out of his own money.

        4. Ancestral Hamster

          Nuke it from orbit. it’s the only way to be sure.

        5. Plasma Mongoose

          Game over man, game over.

        6. Zuche

          Hold on a second. This installation has a substantial dollar value attached to it.

        7. Blob Marley

          BURN FUCKING EVERYTHING.

          Your room is now Pandemic 2, Walky. Embrace the Madagascar.

        8. Drunken Nordmann

          Oh, how I hated Madagascar in this game.

  9. AliaPie

    UH OH!

  10. Jimmy

    Kiss her you blockhead!

    1. mechaqua

      Or stare at her awkwardly, nothing says ‘I love you’ then staring at someone with expression of nervous horror on your face!

      1. Leorale

        So romantic!

      2. Kirt Dankmyer

        He should do that and THEN try to kiss her and fail. Extra awkward!

  11. SUTBEric

    Comic: Now kiss.

    Voting: MS Paint showed up and started kicking everyone’s ass.

  12. CelestialEmpress

    XKCD nothing, you’re never gonna beat off Homestuck’s rabid fans.

    1. Tristan J

      The best part is watching the calmer Homestuck fans sigh wearily and shake their heads at the manic ones.

      1. Vabolo

        Homestuck: Come for the messed-up plot, RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN FROM THE FANBASE!

        1. Aydr

          Homestuck was fun for a while. But like 10 pages of updates every day was just too much so I dropped it like a year ago. Never liked it as much as the previous ones anyway.

        2. davidbreslin101

          I heard about Homestuck late, and it defeated even my powers of obsessive archive binging.

    2. lawzlo

      If you are going to beat off Homestuck’s rabid fans, you should probably wear gloves.

      1. Blob Marley

        Was gonna just reply to CelestialEmpress with “PHRASING!” but I think you win.

      2. Insanely Asinine

        Don’t forget the bucket.

      3. Roborat

        And a visor, in case you get hit in the FAAAAAAAACE.

        Sorry, I had to do it.

  13. Joe

    Dat face

    1. Blob Marley

      Joe: into shy guys. Who knew?

  14. 3DSarge

    recordscratch.mp3

    1. Blob Marley

      spring.wav

  15. Henry

    …Aaaaaand wide-eyed Walky returns.

  16. Plasma Mongoose

    Did daylight savings start in New York by any chance? This comic started early.

    1. fellixe

      Why yes, yes it has.

      1. Plasma Mongoose

        That means that until daylight savings ends in Adelaide, the newest comic starts at 14:30 instead of 15:30.

  17. Sam

    GET OUT OF THIS ONE, SMARTY PANTS.

    1. Zuche

      That’s what the pajama jeans were for!

  18. NF

    2nd-panel Walky = Saddest DoA Walky ever

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      He needs a hug. But not from Dorothy, that’d make him go catatonic.

      1. Originalslugboy

        Yay! Let’s see that, then.

      2. KresyAntics

        Nah go one step further a hug from both Dorothy and Amber at the same time… they are clones! Walky would be a catatonic sammmwich

  19. Khantalas

    Normally, I’d go for a cheap and bad joke. But now, I’m really curious. What would be the right answer? What would Dorothy like to hear? Sure, she broke up with Danny for a reason, and hooking up with Walky might not fit in with that reason, but emotions are not always logical, and Dorothy might, despite her earlier assertions, actually like Walky.

    Thoughts?

    1. iSaidCandleja-

      The “right” answer would be an honest answer, but I’m not sure Walky has done enough introspection for “honest” and “accurate” to be the same thing.

      I don’t think Dorothy knows what she wants to hear, she is just curious. She formed a solid opinion of him which was shattered by one of Walky’s sudden moments of lucid clarity.

      1. ProjectXa3

        I love those moments. I actually have them myself (sort of) when I’ve been trying to figure something out or remember something and all of a sudden the right combination of thoughts happen to collide and I have this bursting moment of clarity; like an epiphany, except not about anything really important. It’s one of the few things that having ADD gives back to those who have it.

      2. ProjectXa3

        Sorry, I didn’t mean to hijack you guys’s deep and meaningful conversation like that, but about half of that just came to me all at once when I was reading the thread, and I just rolled with it.

        1. TheBenenator

          I’m reading all of this in Dexter’s voice.

    2. Blob Marley

      Submitted for your consideration: A simple inquiry with a simple answer. David Walkerton is a mild-mannered student at a state university. An all-American boy with all-American hobbies. Little did Mister Walkerton know that he was about to be asked a Question. And unlike many questions asked by women, this one had a Right Answer. But man cannot know the vagaries of a woman’s mind any more than an ant can know the whims of the boy who stands over it, foot upraised, ready to strike. Walkerton is but an ant, and his assailant is like a vengeful child with a magnifying glass. A magnifying glass known as… the Twilight Zone!

      1. Wack'd

        There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, between things and ideas, and it lies between the pit of man’s fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of wondrous imagination. It is the Twilight Zone.

  20. Scoot

    SHIT JUST GOT REAL

    1. KresyAntics

      Shit has always been real, a real waste of time… like pretending to ignore emotions. It gets you in the end.

  21. Kernanator

    AND IT’S AWKWARD TIME AGAIN.

    1. fellixe

      YAY! AWKWARD TIME!

      *All the awkward children come out singing an awkward song, then sit in an awkward circle.

      1. Leorale

        ::looks awkwardly across the circle at the other kids. Everyone stares at each other, blushing, and none of them say anything.::

    2. SUTBEric

      Awkward time!
      Come on grab your friends!
      Going to very distant lands…
      or we can kind just hang over here…and like don’tmakeeyecontactandstuffI’msosorry…

      1. Blob Marley

        Awkward Time with Walky and Monkey Master.

        I’d watch it.

      2. Kernanator

        I know this is super late and all, but I love you for this.

  22. Aegon01

    Well so much for the “long game” theory.

  23. ProjectXa3

    Come on Walky! Do it! Eh forget it, we all know either he’s about to spaz out or someone/thing (Ruth’s beer stash being uncovered? Another Amzi-girl incedent?) is gonna jump in and interrupt the two of them just as the steam starts pouring out of his ears.

  24. Leorale

    looks like Nope!

  25. Blob Marley

    bongo I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU INTERRUPT MONKEY MASTER ONE MORE TIME WE’RE GOING TO SECOND BASE, NO STOPS.

    What? I said I’m gonna punch your face, no stops.

    1. Sophia

      This. Best possible response.

  26. Azukar

    Panel Two: Walky’s “suave” face. There’s a hint of Joe in there.

    (That’s what she said!) / (Your mum has a hint of Joe in there!)

  27. Twentydragon

    Walky. It’s simple. One word: no.

    1. johannhowitzer

      I think at this point she is going to wear him down. She’s curious, and isn’t going to let it drop, and unlike Billie she doesn’t think he’s stupid or unworthy of befriending her… this could totally happen in the next couple strips, folks.

      Which, y’know, if Walky strikes out, I call dibs.

  28. johannhowitzer

    Are they sitting under a lofted bunk bed? This was a common arrangement at my college, and panels one and three show a line extending diagonally from the top corner of the bookshelf that could be the underside of the top bunk.

    1. Shippy McShipper

      I think that’s meant to be the intersection between the wall to her right (our left) and the ceiling.

    2. Shippy McShipper

      Götterdämmerung! I refreshed to see if my first comment had gone thru, and it said it hadn’t. Anyways, got the directions wrong the first time. Sorry about that.

  29. Mythril

    Looking over that ComicMix list of webcomics… there are so many webcomics!! So many I have yet to read! And some of those I do read aren’t even on that list. I see I’ve got work cut out for me.

    Argh, I tried voting, but it just gets stuck on “Loading…”. 🙁 Had to go through the list to select all the comics I’m reading again.

  30. Trandescent

    ..I know some of those webcomics!

    I know more than I really thought I did though. Ashamed comics I read such The Noob Comic, Amazing Super Powers, My Cage and friends have yet to appear on the list. However it did remind me that I need to read back up on Hark, a vagrant.

  31. narmenduke

    YAY ADORABLE WALKYFACE.

  32. PureLionHeart

    Woman, you are to be seen and not heard. Cartoons, dammit! CARTOONS!

  33. Bunk

    “THIS IS MY AFFECTION! I GIVE IT TO YOU!”

  34. McGruff the Crime Dog

    What is Walky’s haircut supposed to look like?

    1. begbert2

      Since you don’t seem to expect the answer ‘hair’ I will suggest ‘the Batman logo’.

      1. McGruff the Crime Dog

        No dude, I mean is it a bowl cut or something?

        1. Bekah

          It’s a stress puff a la John Green.

        2. David

          It’s the messy hair cut I had when I was his age. Or lack thereof.

  35. davidbreslin101

    Right now, DoA and SP! are doing a hell of a lot better than most of the others I voted for….

  36. L

    Compete with XKCD? Dr. L diagnoses an acute and terminal deficiency of graphs, charts and mathematical puns!

  37. Black Bumblebee

    So far, DOA is in spot #9… not bad for a “new” comic on the block, eh?

    1. David

      Only ‘cuz I gave a link, really. 99% of the comics on this list aren’t asking their readers to participate.

  38. Dragoonchris@yahoo.com

    The eyes has return!!!

  39. Deutschmeister

    This entire situation between Walky and Dorothy is the best and cutest thing I’ve seen in this comic. Maybe any comic ever. I’m giggling in excitement from reading this every day.

  40. Kasamari

    It’s the return of Doofus Walky!

  41. CWR

    The return of Dondi Walkerton.

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