185

Problem
Posted on February 15, 2014 by David M Willis

185 thoughts on “Problem”

  1. Jen Aside

    Billie you’re ripping it

    1. Jen Aside

      and WHY can’t we have Riley eating cereal, you suck Willis

      1. Doctor_Who

        I like to think that even if we can’t see it, she is indeed happily eating cereal somewhere.

        1. Jonrock411

          She is ALWAYS eating cereal

        2. Jay Eff

          Tomorrow, we’ll get Billie eating cereal.

          Wheaties, to be exact.

          Because the Breakfast of Champions is also the Dinner for Losers.

        3. Cody B

          Riley is like a cooler version of Flynn from Breaking Bad.

        4. Ocbrad1

          It’s about the only positive thing we can count on from Willis.

        5. Justin

          Am i the only one who’s a little worried? Are you feeling ok Willis? you can tell us, we’re your friends. we can help you : /

          …

          Unless i’m wrong and you ~are~ just toying with us like the puppetmaster you are~ 😉

      2. Geminia999

        Because he’s looking at toys in New york, too busy to draw cereal eating (even though this is of course written several weeks in advanced)

      3. Plasma Mongoose

        Because he hasn;t has his daily requirment of your bitter tears yet. :3

        1. Lou

          Linked this below but seemed more appropriate here.
          http://data2.whicdn.com/images/57338344/original.jpg

        2. John

          [Riley eating cereal and reading DoA]

          Dumbing of Age! Provides 100% of your US recommended daily allowance of bitter tears! Part of this complete breakfast.

      4. HAB

        He really does.

    2. Alan Lafond

      Not ripping, just pulling down. It was only held up with pushpins. They don’t hold into the corkboard strongly enough to rip a fabric.

  2. Phil

    No, noooo!

  3. Deathjavu

    happy to report i spent hatentines day drinking

    effect was numbing, as hoped

    1. Just Cheeto Dust

      Oh shit, I spent that whole day sober somehow. I think the only relevant thing I did was downloading and buying Valentine’s Day DLC in Grand Theft Auto Online for all of ten minutes before not caring anymore and going back to Bravely Default and Borderlands 2.

    2. rachel

      you’ve pretty much been my favorite commenter for a long time here

      1. Deathjavu

        fistbumps?

        *fistbump*

    3. Bill

      Valentine’s Day is overrated.

    4. Jen Aside

      I spent it looking at townhouses and confirming, yes indeed, this area’s housing market sucks

  4. Mr. Random

    Fuck this uniform in particular.

    1. saltchocolate

      THAT won’t make it onto Slipshine . . .

      1. John

        You know that somewhere out there in the depths of the Internet, there’s someone whose very specific fetish is curvy half-Asian girls in glasses drinking booze and getting off using cheerleader uniforms.

        They will be so disappointed.

  5. HAB

    Welp that’s that.

  6. Geminia999

    I’ve been away from the comments for a while, but bad Billie!!! (not about the ship, I don’t care, just that was really selfish and stupid of her)

    1. diploducks

      Yeah mentally and physically abusing someone into forming a codependent relationship with her was a really selfish thing to do.

      1. Mr. Random

        Yeah, but the worse thing was when she made a promise to Ruth, understood the possible consequences, and decided to continue. She could have come clean to Ruth, stated that she wouldn’t quit unless she got out of control. Anything, but she lied to someone who clearly cared about her.

        Now obviously we’ll disagree about the extent to which Billie is responsible for Ruth. I vote that she became responsible for her promises and Ruth’s reactions to such, to an extent.

        1. Sam

          To be slightly fairer to Billie, she DID try to quit, she managed roughly three days. Which is a fair first attempt for someone that is essentially a severe alcoholic trying to quit all at once. Sadly though, someone like Billie who drinks for enjoyment rather than out of pain is likely to find it much harder to quit that way than someone who just needs reminded of the benefits of their quitting.

          Even if Billie wants to quit, it is very difficult to do so when it is something you enjoy rather than something that seems to be destroying you mentally. Billie’s situation is different from Ruth’s and though she obviously indulges too much, the problems she causes are for other people (and her poor organs that are being damaged) so it is harder for her to accept that her own drinking is a real problem, especially when there is little-no obvious harm coming to herself as a result of the drinking.

          Billie’s situation was really a bad one, and she is lucky that Ruth has actually shown her that her drinking can hurt other people, even if it sadly meant they both had to be hurt for it to occur.

        2. John

          Billie’s non-responses when Ruth interrogated her about it kind of imply that she was lying to Ruth even about the three days, and Word of God confirms that. So, no, she didn’t actually try. Which is why I’m really annoyed with her.

        3. Sam

          I never saw him state that, sorry. The non-responses to me just seemed like guilt from failing and then not telling her about it. XD

        4. timemonkey

          Except Willis has stated that three day thing is just a lie. She never even tried.

        5. Sam

          I didn’t see him state that. Sorry.

        6. diploducks

          “Yeah, but the worse thing was when she made a promise to Ruth, understood the possible consequences, and decided to continue. ”

          No I’m p. sure the worse thing was the mental and physical abuse, by the person who mentally and physically abused the other person into forming a codependent relationship with them.

  7. Yotomoe

    Not a Cheerleader. Problem starter.

    1. Doctor_Who

      Problem Headleader. Cheer solver.

      1. Ph34rFrag

        Cheer Problem. Leader Head-Starter.

        1. Mr. Random

          Head Problem. Leader starter, cheers!

        2. ninja_jesus

          Cheer Head Leader; Starter Problem.

        3. Kryss LaBryn

          Starter Cheer. Head Leader Problem.

        4. ninja_jesus

          Odder, perverse, macabre hellhole.

        5. saltchocolate

          Starter, cheater, slobber, sobber.

        6. Jen Aside

          olive cars
          and olive trucks
          and olive chickens
          and olive ducks
          and olive socks
          and olive garters
          and olive breaks
          and olive starters

        7. Gamaran Sepudomyn

          Head leader. Problem starter cheer.

    2. Plasma Mongoose

      The only head cheerleader that solves problems I know of was Kim Possible.

      1. MM

        There was Claire from Heroes. Though she wasn’t so much a problem solver as the solution to a problem.

        1. Totz the Plaid

          Nah, she _was_ the problem.

      2. nothri

        Buffy?

        1. Zababcd

          And to a lesser extent, Cordelia.

    3. Just Cheeto Dust

      I’m the problem starter, fucking instigator.

  8. Super Duper

    Wait, who is the boy in the photo?

    1. JessWitt

      Andrew Garfield, I think.

      1. Van Dyne

        I thought it was Robert Pattinson at first, but yeah. Andrew Garfield.

        Also relevant

  9. MM

    So how much angst must we consume before we can have Riley eating cereal for dessert?

    1. Yotomoe

      Willis would sooner Create an angst gun to fire angst directly into our hearts than create something happy atm.

      1. saltchocolate

        Off-topic: Yotomoe! New gravitar! Woo!

      2. The Candyman

        I don’t even recognize you anymore, man.

    2. OldFart

      Willis will give Riley full-on celiac disease so that she can never enjoy cereal again. Sure, she could eat gluten-free cereal, but she won’t enjoy it because gluten-free anything is crap.

      1. Roborat

        Well, not everything. My son has Celiac, and we have found some stuff that is not horrible, and even a few things that are pretty good.

  10. Kernanator

    Solve this.

    No, seriously, solve this. You need to.

    1. Plasma Mongoose

      Water is sometimes called the universal solvent…

      1. saltchocolate

        But liquor is quicker!

        1. KingMabel

          How about some vodka?

        2. saltchocolate

          It’s hard to tell if vodka helps.

        3. MrMyerst

          It never solves the problem, but it helps you forget it.

        4. xKiv

          It solves the problem of remembering the problem.

  11. Doc Harleen

    :*(

    1. Doctor_Who

      ＼(>o<)ノ

      1. Jen Aside

        ＼(゜ロ＼)

        (／ロ゜)／

    2. Tacdud2

      (́◉◞౪◟◉)

  12. Vex Godglove

    Billie, you were supposed to go after her, not stay and feel sorry for yourself. Guilt is only good if it prompts you to correct your mistakes.

    1. Shogouki

      You are correct sir!

      1. Totz the Plaid

        Indeed!

    2. MM

      I’m really not sure it’s safe for anyone to be within fifty feet of Ruth right now.

      1. Doctor_Who

        50 feet = death.
        100 feet = you get hit with femur shrapnel.

        1. MM

          Meh. You gotta figure by now everyone’s learned to wear protective gear when they go outside.

    3. hoovy_woopeans

      oh please, like Ruth would have heard any of that? Billie’s intelligent enough to know that she fucked up, and needs time to think of a way to solve this problem, if she even wants to. Chasing after Billie would have just created bigger issues.

    4. gangler

      In the moment resolutions are worthless anyway. Always go for “I fixed my shit, I’m sorry” instead of “I’m sorry, I’ll fix my shit.”. The latter only communicates how sorry you are that you got caught.

      1. nothri

        Well, either way I don’t think “I am not apologizing because I didn’ have a problem in the first place!” was her shining moment.

        1. gangler

          No, of course not. Just that chasing after Ruth would’ve been the wrong move. Now that we’re here the conversation can’t really continue until she’s got some actions to back up her words.

        2. nothri

          Yep. Sometimes the only way to solve things is to spend time apart.

        3. shadowcell

          ‘sides which, let’s be honest, even on her best days Ruth is given to abusing her power as RA. and she’s already got a (brief) history of violent instability towards Billie. now she’s angry and hurt–and she’s still a violent, unstable person given to abusing her power.

          so, uh…maybe the safest thing to do is transfer to Arizona State or something.

    5. ninja_jesus

      Dumbing of Age: Where no one immediately goes after anyone after drama happens.

  13. Lou

    Alt text kills me. You could have thrown a panel in the middle dangit! Just for some contrast! 😛

    1. carl320

      Or finished it with a Riley panel. “College is awesome!” while eating cereal.

      1. Lou

        even better!

  14. Quatoria

    Aaand Billie’s going to let her walk off, and beat herself up, and it will be weeks or months before we see any happiness there. Hopefully not until the next time Ruth tries to hurt herself or drink herself into a stupor. Okay, everybody, see you tomorrow night for our next scheduled weeping session!

  15. gangler

    It almost sounds like she thinks there might be a problem that needs solving right now.

    Let’s wait to see if she elaborates on that thought.

  16. shadowcell

    well hey look at it this way billie now you’ve got a problem to solve!

  17. Wonder Wig

    I’d like a looping gif of Riley eternally eating cereal actually, please.

  18. GoSpeedRumpist

    Truthfully, Billy really helped Ruth out a lot. Unfortunately she did it by lying. Hopefully this will not end with Ruth having to (unnecessarily) kick down her door after pulling a fire alarm. I love this ship, but I think Billy really needs to confront her drinking problem more than she needs hot lesbian action right now, which, I admit, sounds crazy. Btw, happy Valentines day everyone!

  19. Fuzzydaemon

    Billie IS an alcoholic and will defend her drinking to the death. She would rather give up Ruth than the booze.

    1. KingMabel

      And that is why we will never see them together again…

  20. MightionNY

    Actually, a cut to Riley eating cereal would have been PERFECT.

    Especially Apple Jacks or Fruity Pebbles.

    1. Jen Aside

      She eats what she likes!

  21. diploducks

    Looking forward to a thread full of people dumping on Billie because Ruth starting their relationship by mentally and physically abusing her happened like, five entire minutes ago and also it was funny so get over it.

  22. Lou

    Also, this time the problem is YOURS, Billie! So you’d best put down the bottle, put on that uniform, march over there and SOLVE IT MISSY!

    1. Bill

      But that’s not her uniform.

      1. Lou

        Does it have to be? It’s A uniform!

      2. gangler

        That sounds like loser talk. Conquerors take! It becomes yours when you make it the instrument of another’s destruction!

    2. David Willis

      why YOURS ebenezer

      richest man in the cemetary

      1. Lou

        You’ve got a perfect spot here for another sexytimes comic! Just have Billie put on the uniform, take off her underwear and make things right! What’s that? It probably won’t work out that way and much angst will be had by all? Well crap.

  23. Graq

    The position of those blue pins makes it look like the cheerleading outfit is having comic strip sweatdrops of distress as it’s being pulled. Even the scenery is emotional.

  24. Alex Stritar

    No Riley? Willis, why are you so mean?

    1. Lou

      This is why
      http://data2.whicdn.com/images/57338344/original.jpg

  25. Keroshino

    “Reads Alt-text”
    BOOOO, Willis…you suck!!!!

    1. Badeyes

      Get with the program, it’s “Damn you Willis!!”

  26. GoogerGeiger

    No no no no nonononoNONONONONONONONNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  27. rachel

    *DIES*

    1. saltchocolate

      Aww, rachel… Don’t take it so hard.

  28. alicemacher

    Eh, Riley eating cereal was adorable for a couple of strips. Beyond that, it’s not that interesting from a storytelling perspective.

    Now, Joe and Sierra… that could be interesting!

    (What? I meant Joe and Sierra playing with Transformers. What’d you think I meant? 😉 )

  29. Dorsilus

    Man, remember when this comic was all happiness and goofy characters? I mean, I love it now even more but damn I don’t know how much more my heart can take.

    1. nothri

      Nope. I mean, yeah, we’ve plenty of happy and plenty of adorable, but drama has always been a part of this comic. I mean, hell man, we get like 15 strips into the thing and we got Ruth goading Billie to punch her in the face. Less than half-way between the start and where we are now somebody tries to date rape Joyce and gets smashed up with a baseball bat instead. Hasn’t always been gumdrops and lollie pops, is what I’m saying.

      1. The Candyman

        Willis even said he had Dorothy break up with Danny right at the beginning just so people couldn’t say DoA wasn’t about drama.

        I mean, that wasn’t a very dramatic moment per say, but at least the intention was there.

  30. Nym

    But can we have Riley happily eating cereal tomorrow so that we can deal with having this? 🙁

  31. Jackson

    I’ll show you, David Willis. I’ll draw my own Riley eating cereal!

    1. -Sentinel-

      Thank you. I needed this.

    2. nothri

      Careful. Soggies may rule.

    3. WaveRocker

      Surreal Cereal

  32. nothri

    So do you think third time’s a charm, or is it just fate that if one of these two initiates a kiss on the other she will get rejected due to past poor decisions she made leading up to said kiss?

  33. nothri

    Look on the bright side, people. At the rate this is going the cereal would have seemed delicious for like two comics and then would be revealed to be filled with little jagged pieces of metal that cause poor Riley to be rushed to the hospital for emergency surgery.

    1. alicemacher

      Damn that Krusty and his product endorsements! First Bart, now Riley?

      1. nothri

        And then the prognosis comes back: She will live, but her intestine is permanently damaged and can only handle certain foods.

        Riley will never eat cereal again.

  34. Roomie

    Time to spiral into a sheer depression and lose that firewater fifty 😀

  35. NeoVachel

    That’s cold Willis… Damn cold.

  36. WaveRocker

    Uhhh… Let’s go see what Joyce is doing. ‘Been a while since we seen her

    1. John

      Joyce is freaking out because she just found out that if her gay boyfriend magically turned straight, she’d still be second
      choice.

      Maybe Sal’s doing something not horribly depressing?

      1. Mr K

        Sal’s banging Marcie. She’ll invite Billie and cheer her up.

  37. Pyr05

    Well played Willis. Destroy everyone’s feel-good time of Valentine’s Day. Even the day after, because it’s a weekend thing this time around.

  38. asmcint

    DAMN YOU, WILLIS!

    1. asmcint

      continuing to make me feel feels…*mumblemumble* all eternity, I say!

      1. The Weird One

        … I’m sorry, but where the hell do I go from making your screams be the birth of a new universe? Dammit, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a god!

  39. Just Here

    Solving everyone else’s problems? Easy.

    Solving your own problems? Not so much…

  40. newllend

    So thats going well(not) who’s next? Sal, Joyce, Amber again?

    1. Mr K

      Joyce’ll lose her virginity in a gang bang with every female character in the wing.

      1. The Candyman

        Stop spoiling Willis’ next porn.

  41. Megatron

    Best Valentine’s ever!

    1. Bill

      It was just another Friday for me.

      1. Megatron

        People rip cheerleader outfits down from hangers on their doors every Friday where you come from?

        Where is this bastion of fleshling suffering?

        1. Bill

          Oh, you were referring to the comic strip? — I thought you were bragging on your own Valentine’s Day activities.

        2. Megatron

          My comments are always about the comic.

          You can safely assume that, unless Starscream is involved, all my days are awesome.

  42. Rutee

    Delicious drama~

    1. Rutee

      Also, keep doing what you’re doing, Willis. Unless it leads to an unhappy ending – then stop doing what you are doing, but it was still delicious as is.

      What? SOMEONE should show some support at well done drama, and have respect for the craftwork (Billie’s guilty look when she goes “THREE D- three months…. sober” was kinda amazing in retrospect)

      1. nothri

        Second.

      2. Ikaru

        Thirded

  43. IncadescentFlame

    Whelp, good thing I’m not in a human relationship.

  44. Drunken Nordmann

    As someone once said: “Well, shit.”

  45. Pinja

    Classic Willis lesbian tragedy

  46. Idunno

    Who’s Riley ? this comic’s looking more and more like a russian novel, too many characters, my old mind can’t keep up.

    1. Blue Dragon

      Riley is the twelve year old sister of Roz. As you can see from the link, her Mom and “Mark” (Mom’s significant other?) were going to pick her up five hours past noon. That’s why we won’t get to watch her eat cereal now. Her folks don’t let her eat the better, more expensive, cereal unless she can convince them that she’s done something that deserves a special treat. (In a later strip, she moans about the hoops she has to jump through, normally.)

      This was her chance to pig out for both breakfast AND lunch, except her sister slept in, so she only got one potentially perfect meal.

      1. idunno

        I may have been drunk when writing my first comment, but this is really becoming too meta for me.

  47. Eukie

    I like how this mirrors their first kiss; in ‘Recalculating’ and the strips that followed, Ruth initiates a kiss on Billie, who joins in but then pushes Ruth away before angrily storming off. Ruth then goes to her room, hangs her head, and calls herself stupid with a pithy line said out loud.

    Here, Billie initiates a kiss, Ruth pushes her away and walks out, and Billie sits in her room hanging her head and calls herself stupid with a pity line said out loud.

  48. pendrake

    As someone who has had to >bury< friends due to the inevitable come-around harm that denial of alcoholism does, I feel no sympathy or pity for Billie.

  49. Kodoku

    Oh Billie, your fake ID is the only friend you’ll ever really need!

  50. CianM1301

    Must…resist…temptation… to say…infamous line…

  51. timemonkey

    Now burn it, seek help for yourself and find someone who isn’t an abusive drama bomb to hook up with.

    1. Bill

      No, find whoever is in charge of the cheerleader squad and give it back.  Steps #8 and #9 of Alcoholics Anonymous:
      #8 — Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
      #9 — Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
      (this means don’t say that Ruth swiped it; make up some song-and-dance about how it turned up in your hall’s laundry room but didn’t belong to anybody there and that you as a former cheerleader knew how important it would be for whoever had lost it to get it back)

      Do it for Ruth, Billie, and it will also wind up helping you.

      1. Eukie

        Steps #2, #3, #5, #6, #7, #11, #12, meanwhile, are about converting to Christianity and praying a lot.

        1. Doom Shepherd

          Or a new method: Step #1 get on Naltrexone. There are no other steps.

        2. The Candyman

          Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

        3. alicemacher

          Exactly. I’ve commented a couple of times within this site on the problems with AA (not only the Christian agenda, but the “we are powerless” thing). But I see nothing wrong with recognizing that you’ve hurt people, and making amends where possible and appropriate. You don’t have to be Christian, or of any faith, to see the sense in that.

        4. Bill

          Maybe my group was different…. we emphasized the “higher power” aspect, without trying to define any specific higher power.  Granted, most people in the US will automatically assume you are referring to and will turn to a Judeo-Christian god-figure, but it could be any higher power; Jeebus, Buddha, Allah, Blind Io, the FSM, or even just the combined strength of your home AA group (based on the logic that a group of people is more powerful than just one single person).

        5. ninja_jesus

          I don’t personally like the idea of relinquishing any personal power to any kind of spiritual higher authority, because it seems like it creates a system in which people would be entirely blameless for their own actions or gives them an excuse to fall off the wagon (e.g. “I relapsed, but I couldn’t help it because I’m powerless”) as long as they try again. While I have no actual experience in the process, if ever I were to fall into addiction, I think that the real road to recovery for me would lie in actually desiring to recover, and actually wanting to make the efforts to get your life back on track, taking personal responsibility into my own hands and asking friends or family members who are trustworthy to help me achieve it.

          That being said though, if the AA method worked for you, then it’s all that ultimately matters. Grasping onto what you can to find new meaning in your life is much more important than arguing the semantics of what religion you use to help your recovery process. Beating the addiction to re-establish a stable foundation of your life FIRST, and THEN worry about the rest. 🙂

        6. ninja_jesus

          Any crutch your size in a hospital would help you recover, no matter what color it is. You just have to remember to let go once you can stand on your own two feet. 😀

      2. timemonkey

        Ruth stole the uniform, not Billie.

        1. John

          That just means Billie’s receiving stolen goods.

          But trying to give it back would still cause more problems than it would solve.

        2. Bill

          Hence the reason I said come up with the story about finding it in the laundry room.

        3. John

          I frankly don’t have any more confidence in Billie’s lying skills than I do in her honesty.

          Plus it would be funny if she got in trouble over it, which means it would almost certainly happen, because she lives in a universe where the natural laws seem to revolve largely around making her lose her shit hilariously as often as possible.

          I think what she really needs to do is go let herself into Ruth’s room and say, “I can’t cheat if I’m with you. Can I stay?”

          And then they bang.

          (No, really, they probably shouldn’t at this point. But much of the fandom will get confused and not understand the words I’m writing if I don’t put that bit in.)

        4. Pippy

          Oh dear, yes. Just try being a reformed shoplifter. I have hundreds of dollars of things that I’ve never dared to return…..

        5. Pippy

          Joyce saying that is just amazing btw XD I should have gotten Sal.

  52. Yet-One-More-Idiot

    Must….fight….urge….to say….it….can’t….resist….

    DAMN YOU WILLIS!

    xD

  53. Farmer_10

    I don’t care anymore. Willis has crushed me so much, I’ve become emotionaly numb.

  54. LordHaw

    Willis has been laughing maniacally ever since he posted this one, I am sure. Another heartfelt “DAMN YOU WILLIS!” from me as well.

  55. xKiv

    Solver : problem solver :: Child : problem child?

  56. Crumplepunch

    Time to frame Billie for the theft.

    Things can always get worse.

  57. TrueVCU

    EVERYONE WILL SUFFER

  58. Cragalanch

    Damn you Willis……. Cragalanch wanted LESS heartbreak after yesterday, not more

  59. acher4

    DAMN IT BILLIE!

  60. TemplarKnight

    Well, there goes the Billie/Ruth official porn.

    1. BlackIo

      What, and leave perfectly good porn money on the table?

      1. John

        If he’s hard up for porn money, he could always do Roomies! Billie/Ruth on the table. He’s got a couple panels of it already!

        1. Drunken Nordmann

          There’s something horribly wrong about that – but I can’t exactly say what it is.

  61. Ryan

    Yeah you suck pretty hard, Billie.

    1. Animal

      0_0

  62. Clint Powell

    It’s not that I’m against Ruth and Billie as a lesbian couple at all, that part doesn’t bother me. I just don’t give a shit about them as characters in general. I don’t even dislike them enough anymore to laugh mockingly at their misery.

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