Dumbing of Age Book Fourteen

Dumbing of Age

A college webcomic by David Willis
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BUFFER WATCH Comics are currently drawn and uploaded through:

October 20, 2026

Tags

agatha amazi-girl amber art asher becky blaine booster carla carol charles danny dexter dina dorothy ethan fan art faz hank jacob jason jennifer jocelyne joe joyce leslie linda liz lucy malaya marcie mary mike monkey master patreon rachel raidah robin ross roz ruth sal sarah sierra walky
everybody loves ambient cheering noises
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Absorbing

Posted In: comic
└ Tags: amazi-girl, danny, malaya, marcie, sal

Discussion (166) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    May 11, 2023 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

    Danny, tomorrow: Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

    • UrsulaDavina
      UrsulaDavina
      May 11, 2023 at 12:04 am | # | Reply

      What was the coaxb thinking, sending Marcie on that early?

      • Savail
        Savail
        May 11, 2023 at 12:36 am | # | Reply

        I know this is probably a typo for “coach,” but now I’m imagining some weird hybrid mashup of a coax and usb micro b cable.

        • Dana
          Dana
          May 11, 2023 at 12:52 am | # | Reply

          Pretty sure they only finalized the coax standard for macro USB B.

          • Needfuldoer
            Needfuldoer
            May 11, 2023 at 2:13 am | # | Reply

            Neutrik makes some oddball connectors.

          • Chris Phoenix
            Chris Phoenix
            May 11, 2023 at 2:26 am | # | Reply

            https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php/Category:Cursed_Connectors

            • Chris Phoenix
              Chris Phoenix
              May 11, 2023 at 2:27 am | # | Reply

              (That’s a link to XKCD’s “cursed connectors” series, including the “Universal Seat Belt”)

          • Decidedly Orthogonal
            Decidedly Orthogonal
            May 11, 2023 at 7:19 am | # | Reply

            Macro-USB. When you need a petawatt capable connection with a hectare cross-section.

        • UrsulaDavina
          UrsulaDavina
          May 11, 2023 at 1:10 am | # | Reply

          My autocorrect is drunk sometimes it corrects sometimes it doesn’t. Really though I have big thumbs and use a phone to post here.

        • someone
          someone
          May 11, 2023 at 6:21 am | # | Reply

          It’s the gender-neutral spelling of coach.

    • Psi Baka Onna
      Psi Baka Onna
      May 11, 2023 at 7:01 am | # | Reply

      That’s the problem with (insert team name), they always try an’ walk it in!

    • MIB4u
      MIB4u
      May 11, 2023 at 3:24 pm | # | Reply

      ♥♥♥ for IT crowd reference

  2. Ana Chronistic
    Ana Chronistic
    May 11, 2023 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

    wrestling on wheels

    • I Know Why the Mowed Lawn Screams
      I Know Why the Mowed Lawn Screams
      May 11, 2023 at 1:38 am | # | Reply

      “And here we see jammer 87 Carla Rutten complete a successful one-foot spin right before landing the DDT”

      • Wizard
        Wizard
        May 11, 2023 at 2:06 pm | # | Reply

        I tried to picture that in my head, and was a little surprised when it totally worked.

        • I Know Why the Mowed Lawn Screams
          I Know Why the Mowed Lawn Screams
          May 11, 2023 at 4:53 pm | # | Reply

          I’d just came back from watching the newest episode of AEW Dynamite when i first posted this comment, so i guess i had fresh examples on the brain when thinking about “things that would look so cool on rollerblades”.

    • CianM1301
      CianM1301
      May 11, 2023 at 4:27 am | # | Reply

      “And it looks like the opposing team’s jammer is about to score the winning point, this looks like it could be all over, and–BAH GAWD, HERE COMES AMBER O’MALLEY WITH THE STEEL CHAIR!”

      • Wizard
        Wizard
        May 11, 2023 at 2:04 pm | # | Reply

        Business is about to pick up!

  3. NGPZ
    NGPZ
    May 11, 2023 at 12:04 am | # | Reply

    ROLLER DERBY OH YEAH HERE WE GOOOOOOO!!!!! ?? ??☄?

    *plays “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen on hacked muzak*

    • True Survivor
      True Survivor
      May 11, 2023 at 12:12 am | # | Reply

      It does look like they are the Champions.

    • brionl
      brionl
      May 11, 2023 at 1:33 am | # | Reply

      Akshually, the proper music for roller derby is J.S. Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor.

      https://youtu.be/qu1cDksmwKs

      • Clif
        Clif
        May 11, 2023 at 1:48 am | # | Reply

        I endorse this theory

      • deliverything
        deliverything
        May 11, 2023 at 3:02 pm | # | Reply

        Although Danny’s understanding of roller derby might have been better illustrated by Garfunkel and Oates:
        https://youtu.be/2fraSdN-PG8

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      May 11, 2023 at 2:19 am | # | Reply

      Why not Zoidberg Jim Croce?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hD7UqK2GZko

      • Stephen Bierce
        Stephen Bierce
        May 11, 2023 at 12:41 pm | # | Reply

        Hacked Muzak Approved!

  4. Slartibeast Button, BIA
    Slartibeast Button, BIA
    May 11, 2023 at 12:04 am | # | Reply

    I’m thinking of the “Applause” knob in that old Star Trek show with the Roman Arena on TV.

  5. UrsulaDavina
    UrsulaDavina
    May 11, 2023 at 12:07 am | # | Reply

    I learned Roller derby rollers from King of the Hill
    https://youtu.be/F_7B1HJsB40

    • UrsulaDavina
      UrsulaDavina
      May 11, 2023 at 12:09 am | # | Reply

      *rules

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      May 11, 2023 at 2:21 am | # | Reply

      I learned from that one episode of Psych and the last time we saw Malaya’s team in DoA.

      (Assuming we won’t see #31 this time because they’re up against a different team.)

      • Daibhid C
        Daibhid C
        May 11, 2023 at 12:56 pm | # | Reply

        I learned from the Harlem Heroes strip in 2000AD. Since Aeroball is in no way like roller derby, this may have been a mistake.

    • Scoops!
      Scoops!
      May 11, 2023 at 2:17 pm | # | Reply

      I learned from Whip It

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajILNbKvpBU

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      May 11, 2023 at 3:16 pm | # | Reply

      I learned from watching it on TV about 40 years ago, still remember Skinny Minnie Miller. Took a while and still not sure I figured all of it out. Reminds me of when I first got cable television (I grew up in remote air force bases in Canada, cable wasn’t a thing back then), watching Australian Rules Football, we spent months watching it on ESPN trying to figure it out, took months. We did like the guys in white raincoats signaling goals.

  6. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    May 11, 2023 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

    Nobody actually knows the rules. The rulebook has been lost in the annals of time. But nobody wants to admit that they don’t know, so the players, coaches and judges are all afraid everyone will find out and are just making it up on the fly.

    • Rose by Any Other Name
      Rose by Any Other Name
      May 11, 2023 at 12:10 am | # | Reply

      That’s certainly my assumption.

    • RassilonTDavros
      RassilonTDavros
      May 11, 2023 at 12:12 am | # | Reply

      Perhaps the same could be said of all sports.

      • Thag Simmons
        Thag Simmons
        May 11, 2023 at 12:14 am | # | Reply

        Fencing is very simple, poke the other guy before they poke you.

        • Dinajoyce
          Dinajoyce
          May 11, 2023 at 12:39 am | # | Reply

          Epee is that simple. Foil and Saber are much more complicated.

          • morleuca
            morleuca
            May 11, 2023 at 5:15 am | # | Reply

            Nothing like scoring a point because your opponent kept backing up instead of partying. I mean, you end up stretched out lying on the ground looking ridiculous, but a point is a point.

            • morleuca
              morleuca
              May 11, 2023 at 10:42 am | # | Reply

              “Partying”? Really? That makes me sound awful. Parrying for gosh sakes!

              • Clif
                Clif
                May 11, 2023 at 10:46 am | # | Reply

                Never underestimate the power of partying.

                • Wizard
                  Wizard
                  May 11, 2023 at 2:09 pm | #

                  Partying can be a very effective defensive technique. Just ask Slurms MacKenzie.

      • butting
        butting
        May 11, 2023 at 4:55 am | # | Reply

        See especially: Brockian Ultra-Cricket and Calvinball.

        Rosalyn playing Calvinball is one of the greatest Calvin & Hobbes storylines of all time. So so so good.

        • butting
          butting
          May 11, 2023 at 5:06 am | # | Reply

          Fortunately, we can always return to the sanity of Farnarkeling.

          (damn, but John Clarke was a genius.)

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        May 11, 2023 at 6:47 am | # | Reply

        Your calls are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a referee such as you!

        • Felgraf
          Felgraf
          May 11, 2023 at 7:26 am | # | Reply

          AND WHAT IS A REF, ANYWAYS! A MISERABLE PILE OF BRIBE MONEY.

          But enough talk. HAVE AT YOU!

        • RassilonTDavros
          RassilonTDavros
          May 11, 2023 at 11:48 pm | # | Reply

          Relieved to see someone got my intended joke!

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      May 11, 2023 at 12:12 am | # | Reply

      That’s why the sport is so violent. It’s like natural selection.

      Who are the judges going to be most scared to question, when they themselves don’t actually know the rules? The most violent players. So over time, the more violence you do in the game, the more scared the judges are to call you out over any of it, so the game drifts more violent over time.

      It’s like natural selection.

      • True Survivor
        True Survivor
        May 11, 2023 at 12:13 am | # | Reply

        Or state legislatures.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        May 11, 2023 at 12:23 am | # | Reply

        It’s a sports based form of Survival of the Fittest. American Football was once a gentle sport full of handholding and flower collecting, but evolution turned it into what we know today.

      • milu
        milu
        May 11, 2023 at 4:05 am | # | Reply

        Natural selection is not the same as rule of might. You can be selected for being sneaky. Or cooperative. Or sexy.

        I assume all of these traits have played a part in the evolution of Roller Derby

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          May 11, 2023 at 6:04 pm | # | Reply

          That is why the men’s game is almost extinct, while the ladies’ game is flourishing in the backwoods and rural areas. It’s a mating ritual now.

    • Dday
      Dday
      May 11, 2023 at 12:43 am | # | Reply

      Look, it’s not that hard: The Knockers try to knock down the Hobnobbers, who defend themselves by throwing the Fallers in front of the Trippers. It’s fairly inconsequential though, the game ends when the Roller rolls under the Derby and picks up the Golden Snitch

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        May 11, 2023 at 2:55 pm | # | Reply

        I read that as golden snatch, and my mind went off on a very disturbing tangent.

    • Needfuldoer
      Needfuldoer
      May 11, 2023 at 2:22 am | # | Reply

      Ah yes, Calvinderby.

    • findus
      findus
      May 11, 2023 at 2:28 am | # | Reply

      Seriously though, there are SO MANY rules for this sport… I joined a team a few months ago, so I’m still in the newbie group and don’t play any matches. But our coaches decided that to move on to the advanced group, you not only have to be able to skate well enough but also have to pass a theory test about the rules, including a bunch of complex game scenarios. That’s how they try to ensure that what you described doesn’t actually happen 😀

      • findus
        findus
        May 11, 2023 at 2:31 am | # | Reply

        Oh, I got Ethan… hmm… alright, I’ll keep that avatar for now

      • Athedia
        Athedia
        May 11, 2023 at 2:56 am | # | Reply

        Learn to NSO, you learn a *lot* of the behind the scenes work. There is so much that goes into the sport beyond rules. The paperwork alone…..

        • polerin
          polerin
          May 11, 2023 at 12:35 pm | # | Reply

          NSO’s are heroes.

          That said I can explain the basics of derby in 16 seconds… and have, many times.

          • Athedia
            Athedia
            May 17, 2023 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

            Yep, basically “The ones with the stars are trying to lap the other team and get points for each person they lap. The other ones are trying to slow down and stop them. And occasionally the star will get handed to the person with the stripe and *they* start trying to lap the other team.”

            That is all folks really need to know.

        • Taffy
          Taffy
          May 11, 2023 at 3:01 pm | # | Reply

          NSO?

          • findus
            findus
            May 12, 2023 at 2:48 am | # | Reply

            Non-skate official.

            There is a whole team of judges (called officials) in Roller Derby, because so much is going on at the same time. There are some referees on skates, who e.g. pay attention to one jammer indicating how many points they scored and stuff like this. And there are NSOs, who do stuff like timing, whistling for a jam to start, keeping track of which player got how many penalties, recording the official score, etc.

        • findus
          findus
          May 12, 2023 at 2:52 am | # | Reply

          I certainly will at some point, because teams here are always short on NSO’s 😀

      • polerin
        polerin
        May 11, 2023 at 12:37 pm | # | Reply

        If you want to have a brain break, ask someone about why knee starts worked, and about the jam(s) that weren’t.

        Gah, that makes me feel old.

  7. HueSatLight
    HueSatLight
    May 11, 2023 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

    It’s after midnight, technically now Friday and Danny’s weekaversary.
    Also last Friday:
    Liz shows up.
    Joyce unintentionally outs self as apostate and deeply insults Becky, while blowing off steam
    Joe nearly has sex with Liz, thinking it will make him get over Joyce
    Joyce gets comic into paper, Walky foiled.
    Jocelyn calls Joyce, sent to voicemail.

    • True Survivor
      True Survivor
      May 11, 2023 at 12:19 am | # | Reply

      Wow, these kids need some time to have a break from drama and breathe (and also do homework). Thanks for the recap – I had forgotten a ton of this stuff.

    • Miri
      Miri
      May 11, 2023 at 3:25 am | # | Reply

      That’s all been in the past week, in comic?!! Dang!! Also: Dorothy teaches Joyce to ride washing machines to release tension; Joyce finds out she may be autistic; Carla feels ignored by Booster’s spacey twin, Charlie; Dorothy spirals, most likely letting go of her dream of becoming president of the USA, trying to split Walky and Lucy and getting him back and failing, then persuades Ruth to get her pass-out drunk; Joyce starts birth control and life drawing lessons and dating Joe; Joe considers cocaine to cope with a sexless relationship (I hope he was joking) but they are mostly adorkable together…

      • HueSatLight
        HueSatLight
        May 11, 2023 at 12:31 pm | # | Reply

        Everything I listed was on last Friday, during “Sister, Christian”.

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        May 11, 2023 at 3:02 pm | # | Reply

        Is the cocaine in the room with us right now?

  8. Dave Van Domelen
    Dave Van Domelen
    May 11, 2023 at 12:10 am | # | Reply

    Zhu Li, do the thing!

  9. RassilonTDavros
    RassilonTDavros
    May 11, 2023 at 12:10 am | # | Reply

    Haha, I know that feeling. I was in marching band in high school, and even after four years of going to games and playing whenever our team did A Good Thing I still have absolutely no fucking idea how football works beyond the basic idea of scoring goals by kicking it through the thingy at the end of the field. And I grew up in Texas. Granted, trying to learn the rules of football by watching our team play is like trying to learn the rules of hockey by watching the Lea–

    (femur breaking noises)

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      May 11, 2023 at 12:16 am | # | Reply

      They’ve managed to not be eliminated from the playoffs yet this year.

      • Casi
        Casi
        May 11, 2023 at 1:01 am | # | Reply

        Don’t worry, they won’t disappoint, they’ll choke like they always do

        • Casi
          Casi
          May 11, 2023 at 1:01 am | # | Reply

          okay while i miss carla, this was the perfect grav for that comment

      • Roborat
        Roborat
        May 11, 2023 at 2:58 pm | # | Reply

        Don’t worry, they still have three games left to accomplish that.

    • CrazyJ
      CrazyJ
      May 11, 2023 at 12:26 am | # | Reply

      I was videographer in college, so half my job was recording these games, and I am not a sports fan. Football, volleyball, soccer, wrestling, softball, baseball, etc. Half of them I don’t know what the hell the rules are and none of them do I know all the rules of the game.

    • Savail
      Savail
      May 11, 2023 at 12:38 am | # | Reply

      It finally clicked for me around 5th or 6th grade after the fiftieth time we were tested on it in PE with an assistant PE teacher. I went home and tried it out on an NES copy of Tecmo-whatever we had and was surprised I finally understood it.

  10. Nono
    Nono
    May 11, 2023 at 12:11 am | # | Reply

    I never attended college sports but gotta ask, is there actually a crowd for nighttime amateur women roller derby’s?

    • UrsulaDavina
      UrsulaDavina
      May 11, 2023 at 12:13 am | # | Reply

      Probably

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      May 11, 2023 at 12:13 am | # | Reply

      Crowds can be relative. A few dozen spectators in a small venue can feel pretty crowded but isn’t really that many people.

      • Clif
        Clif
        May 11, 2023 at 1:41 am | # | Reply

        Collage age women being physically violent with one another? Of course there’s a crowd.

        • Opus the Poet
          Opus the Poet
          May 11, 2023 at 6:08 pm | # | Reply

          Take my imaginary upvote!

    • AlexanderHammil
      AlexanderHammil
      May 11, 2023 at 1:34 am | # | Reply

      Do they serve beer? Then yes.

    • Athedia
      Athedia
      May 11, 2023 at 2:57 am | # | Reply

      During home games the team I NSO for draws 100+ people each game. To the point one game was standing room only. And we are not a top ranked team even.

    • polerin
      polerin
      May 11, 2023 at 12:39 pm | # | Reply

      I’ve skated in front of thousands of people for a regular season game, and more than that during tournament season where a lot of the teams stay and watch, in addition to the people that travel to just spectate. Crowds vary, and it really depends on the city and when you were talking about. There were far larger crowds right after whip it.

  11. Dean
    Dean
    May 11, 2023 at 12:14 am | # | Reply

    I’m amused by the idea that people are shouting “Ambient cheering noises!”

    • woobie
      woobie
      May 11, 2023 at 12:41 am | # | Reply

      It feels like the Order of the Stick when someone “says” AOO…

    • Thag Simmons
      Thag Simmons
      May 11, 2023 at 12:53 am | # | Reply

      Weird sound effect gags are usually at least chuckleworthy.

    • milu
      milu
      May 11, 2023 at 4:12 am | # | Reply

      Though not seen on screen in this scene, they also periodically shout “foot thumping on bleachers!” And “ear-piercing whistles of encouragements!” And “occasional random booing and heckling!”

    • Mark
      Mark
      May 11, 2023 at 7:13 am | # | Reply

      Honestly that was the funniest bit of this strip, for me. Danny is being so painfully like me, at any sporting event, that it’s hard to find the humor….

  12. Axel
    Axel
    May 11, 2023 at 12:14 am | # | Reply

    on one hand I relate, I don’t get pretty much any sports

    on the other hand, Danny not knowing much about his girlfriend’s interests/activities (outside of those they already share) is kind of a pattern

    • Zero
      Zero
      May 11, 2023 at 12:26 am | # | Reply

      They’ve been dating for a week and he’s actively sharing her interests while trying to learn about them.

      • Axel
        Axel
        May 11, 2023 at 12:57 am | # | Reply

        I do have a bad grip on the passage of time

        • Otl1973
          Otl1973
          May 11, 2023 at 1:08 am | # | Reply

          This comic encourages readers to have a bad grip on the passage of time.

          • Clif
            Clif
            May 11, 2023 at 1:44 am | # | Reply

            It kind of depends on it, in a way, to make the floating time-line work.

    • DailyBrad
      DailyBrad
      May 11, 2023 at 12:38 am | # | Reply

      He knows a lot about her, like that she’s a sucker for flowers, that she doesn’t wear on her sleeve, give him a chance to play catch up.

      • Axel
        Axel
        May 11, 2023 at 1:00 am | # | Reply

        re catching up, I meant to disclaim (but the wording felt awkward) that maybe that’s what he’s trying to do in asking that stranger, but that it still feels kind of weird to me in that he could have tried to learn (incl. from Sal) before going here today

        • Yotomoe
          Yotomoe
          May 11, 2023 at 1:29 am | # | Reply

          Maybe he just didn’t wanna seem lame in front of her.

          • Clif
            Clif
            May 11, 2023 at 10:32 am | # | Reply

            It’s really too bad there isn’t something like the Internet where he could just Google Rutten the rules.

            • Archivist
              Archivist
              May 11, 2023 at 11:18 am | # | Reply

              That’s why he has his phone out. “Having trouble absorbing the rules” means research has left him confused so he’s asking around. Normal behavior.

              • Axel
                Axel
                May 12, 2023 at 3:31 am | # | Reply

                I took it more as absorb = osmosis way, like he thought he’d learn by seeing them (which isn’t the worst assumption, though if one has seen any sport I feel like they’d realize that doesn’t work well)

            • Axel
              Axel
              May 12, 2023 at 3:30 am | # | Reply

              zoomrr the rules.

    • newlland(Henryvolt)
      newlland(Henryvolt)
      May 11, 2023 at 3:50 am | # | Reply

      They share a similar taste and interests on music, thanks to him she picked up an interests in video games and this could count as him trying to learn more about another one of her interests.

  13. newlland(Henryvolt)
    newlland(Henryvolt)
    May 11, 2023 at 12:15 am | # | Reply

    Boiling it down it’s like a team triathlon but on Roller skates. Also people are always pushing and tripping over each other…atleast that’s my assessment of it.

  14. Cattleprod
    Cattleprod
    May 11, 2023 at 12:15 am | # | Reply

    Me relearning the rules of curling every 4 years for the Winter Olympics.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      May 11, 2023 at 3:03 pm | # | Reply

      Curling is just an excuse for people to get drunk, with occasional breaks to throw large rocks at each other.

  15. Suet
    Suet
    May 11, 2023 at 12:16 am | # | Reply

    The only rule is don’t do any cheap trick…s

    Just watch, Dan.

  16. Dara
    Dara
    May 11, 2023 at 12:22 am | # | Reply

    YAY Amazi-Girl tag!

    • Dara
      Dara
      May 11, 2023 at 12:24 am | # | Reply

      Hilarious Jennifer frown aside I am not being sarcastic I’m just glad to see Amazi-Girl being around. (And still wearing the mask. ^_^ )

  17. Angel
    Angel
    May 11, 2023 at 12:36 am | # | Reply

    “ambient cheering noises” should be on a shirt or so to wear when ur supporting a friends team so you don’t constantly have to shout lol

    • Clif
      Clif
      May 11, 2023 at 10:52 am | # | Reply

      Yeah? I want an recording of ambient cheering noises set to play whenever I actually manage to get out of bed in the morning.

      Even if it didn’t improve my mood, it would mask my moans and groans, so there’s that.

      • Angel
        Angel
        May 11, 2023 at 11:13 pm | # | Reply

        technically you could probably set an alarm ringtone to that, but good luck lol

  18. DailyBrad
    DailyBrad
    May 11, 2023 at 12:39 am | # | Reply

    I admittedly know fuck-all about roller derby, too, but I do dig the aesthetic a lot.

  19. SvenTS
    SvenTS
    May 11, 2023 at 12:46 am | # | Reply

    ‘Ambient cheering noises’ is my favorite thing to yell at an event.

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      May 11, 2023 at 3:58 am | # | Reply

      In the days of live radio dramas, when random crowd noises were required, cast members would step back from the microphone slightly and repeat “applesauce” and “rhubarb” over and over.  The microphones of the day weren’t all that sensitive, so they would pick up the sound, but not well enough for the words to be clearly understood, so by the time it made it out over the air it was that same kind of low, dull murmur you often hear when large groups of people are gathered and talking amongst themselves.

      And that is your dollop of didactic discourse for the day.

      • Plain Marie
        Plain Marie
        May 11, 2023 at 7:06 am | # | Reply

        I’ve also heard that “rutabaga” works to create those ambient crowd noises. Sometimes I use it if I’m playing an in-person game when one team has to consult without the other team hearing. Not sure if it works, but it gives some sound cover, and it’s fun to say. Rutabaga, rutabaga!

  20. NGPZ
    NGPZ
    May 11, 2023 at 12:55 am | # | Reply

    Come to think of it, Roller Derby with a ball does sound really fun hehehe… ?

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      May 11, 2023 at 4:03 am | # | Reply

      See “Rollerball”, a movie where a sport similar to roller derby is played using both a ball as well as team members on motorcycles.  I’d advise you to fuhgeddabout the 2002 remake, and seek out the 1975 original with James Caan, John Houseman, John Beck, and Maud Adams.

      • morleuca
        morleuca
        May 11, 2023 at 5:33 am | # | Reply

        I mean, the remake did have Jean Reno in a biiiiig fur coat

    • Angel
      Angel
      May 11, 2023 at 11:14 pm | # | Reply

      i’d love to go on a platonic friend/group date of just chilling at a roller rink, no tackling but that does seem like quite the sport to watch during school/college days lol

  21. OnyxIdol
    OnyxIdol
    May 11, 2023 at 1:02 am | # | Reply

    … how *does* it work though?

    • Masumi
      Masumi
      May 11, 2023 at 2:24 am | # | Reply

      That’s what I hoped to find out in the comments… I did look it up the first time it got brought up in the comic, but somehow it entirely slipped my mind.

      Cute profile pic!

  22. brionl
    brionl
    May 11, 2023 at 1:30 am | # | Reply

    One of my cousins is a genuine hippy, lives in Santa Cruz, CA and everything. And her daughter was into roller derby while she was in high school and college. It’s been a few years, I’m not sure if she still does it or has gotten a real job or what.

  23. Needfuldoer
    Needfuldoer
    May 11, 2023 at 2:25 am | # | Reply

    Okay, is there any song this chapter’s title could be referring to besides Surrender by Cheap Trick? Because that’s got me low key worried.

    • NGPZ
      NGPZ
      May 11, 2023 at 2:34 am | # | Reply

      Can you maybe elaborate please? I’m not familiar with the song or band

    • Bicycle Bill
      Bicycle Bill
      May 11, 2023 at 3:47 am | # | Reply

      The line “Don’t Give Yourself Away” (without the ‘but’) turns up in “Both Sides Now”, written by Joni Mitchell and recorded by Judy Collins.

      Although since this song was popular about ten years before Willis was even born, I doubt that it’s where the reference comes from.  I’m inclined to go with the Cheap Trick song, since it’s basically saying that your parents and elders may be more ‘hip’ and ‘with it’ than you think they are, so it’s OK to ‘surrender’ and accept their advice… but don’t let yourself become carbon-copies of them.

      Further

  24. CJ
    CJ
    May 11, 2023 at 2:43 am | # | Reply

    Just watch the Charlie’s Angels episode on it.

    • Rognik
      Rognik
      May 11, 2023 at 4:10 am | # | Reply

      The 1970s series, or is there a newer one?

      • CJ
        CJ
        May 12, 2023 at 3:19 am | # | Reply

        1970s Fahrah Facett on wheels, weeeee
        https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0539193/

  25. poofdepoof
    poofdepoof
    May 11, 2023 at 2:54 am | # | Reply

    Anyone read Girls With Slingshots?

    https://www.girlswithslingshots.com/comic/gws-1784

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      May 11, 2023 at 3:06 pm | # | Reply

      I suspect there is a pretty big overlap between the two.

      • Angel
        Angel
        May 11, 2023 at 11:14 pm | # | Reply

        There WAS a guest strip about Hazel’s mom being a secret roller derby member lol

    • Blue
      Blue
      May 11, 2023 at 6:11 pm | # | Reply

      I’m not the only one thinking of Thea it seems. Maybe it’s even intentional?

  26. Amós Batista
    Amós Batista
    May 11, 2023 at 3:53 am | # | Reply

    “cut ’em off!”
    ok, when they will use the knives?

  27. Rognik
    Rognik
    May 11, 2023 at 4:07 am | # | Reply

    I also don’t get the rules, but I think it’s something like get more laps than the opponent, do whatever it takes to stop the other team.

    • polerin
      polerin
      May 11, 2023 at 12:40 pm | # | Reply

      surprisingly close, though the jammers (ones with the star helmets) are the ones who need to lap the pack.

  28. Allison Branford
    Allison Branford
    May 11, 2023 at 4:24 am | # | Reply

    Danny, precious cutie, you have a phone. Google it. Watch an informative Youtube video for it. You could’ve asked Sal when she first mentioned it, but you screwed up there.

    • morleuca
      morleuca
      May 11, 2023 at 5:37 am | # | Reply

      That’s why his phone is out. He just is absorbing rollerderby rules like most americans absorb cricket rules.

      • Mark
        Mark
        May 11, 2023 at 7:19 am | # | Reply

        You mean, the same way wax absorbs water?

    • Reaver
      Reaver
      May 11, 2023 at 6:39 am | # | Reply

      It’s barely been 2 weeks! Give him some slack

    • zee
      zee
      May 11, 2023 at 11:26 am | # | Reply

      He did, his phone is out. He’s saying he doesn’t understand

  29. Sombrero
    Sombrero
    May 11, 2023 at 5:50 am | # | Reply

    The first rule of Roller Derby is you don’t explain the rules of Roller Derby. Never. To no one.

  30. Alaric
    Alaric
    May 11, 2023 at 6:10 am | # | Reply

    Is the guy Danny’s talking to older Danny from the future?

    • Keulen
      Keulen
      May 11, 2023 at 12:45 pm | # | Reply

      I was thinking the same thing. He definitely looks like it.

  31. Tesset
    Tesset
    May 11, 2023 at 7:50 am | # | Reply

    How did Willis manage to make our two main entry points into the roller derby team both straight girls?

  32. Yeet
    Yeet
    May 11, 2023 at 7:54 am | # | Reply

    Now I’m wondering if Danny and Sal have watched whip it (2009).

  33. Stephen Nedland
    Stephen Nedland
    May 11, 2023 at 9:37 am | # | Reply

    Go Team, sports harder than the other team! Do the thing! Score the points! Gooooooooooooo team!

  34. Archivist
    Archivist
    May 11, 2023 at 11:09 am | # | Reply

    Why does this dude look like the bread to Danny’s raw dough.

  35. zee
    zee
    May 11, 2023 at 11:27 am | # | Reply

    Why have only two people so far pointed out that this random dude is tan Danny
    Tanny if you will

  36. Taffy
    Taffy
    May 11, 2023 at 11:45 am | # | Reply

    Danny’s really giving himself away as a shitty boyfriend, here. What, he couldn’t research Sal’s sport of choice before they even got together? He knew she played. He’s just out here showing his entire ass in public, and I wouldn’t be super shocked if Sal dumps him outright for emotional neglect. I hate Danny now, fuck this jerk.

    (Lol jk, the stakes couldn’t be lower)

    • HueSatLight
      HueSatLight
      May 11, 2023 at 12:34 pm | # | Reply

      He was going to look up the rules, but ended up reading the page for Rollerball (1975) on tvtropes.

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        May 11, 2023 at 2:01 pm | # | Reply

        That explains the first 10 minutes. What’s his excuse for the rest?

        • HueSatLight
          HueSatLight
          May 11, 2023 at 3:50 pm | # | Reply

          sorry, I got sidetracked with a “toccata and fugue in d minor – ukulele lesson” youtube. I still haven’t figured out Rollerderby rules, but I’m pretty sure that their derby names are more important than the rest of it. And so far we’re 1/5: Amazi-girl is Slamber.

          Since Danny hasn’t turned to the fourth wall to say Sal’s derby name is, to demonstrate he knows it, she should leave him.

  37. Paprikahoernchen
    Paprikahoernchen
    May 11, 2023 at 11:46 am | # | Reply

    Ohhhh Marcie <3
    I missed her!

    • Paprikahoernchen
      Paprikahoernchen
      May 11, 2023 at 11:46 am | # | Reply

      omg she appeared in 2021 the last time

      • Taffy
        Taffy
        May 11, 2023 at 11:49 am | # | Reply

        How the fuck has it been 2 whole years since we’ve seen Marcie? That should be illegal.

        • BBCC
          BBCC
          May 11, 2023 at 12:04 pm | # | Reply

          Right? We gotta see her more.

  38. Dot
    Dot
    May 11, 2023 at 12:34 pm | # | Reply

    He’s supportive 🙂

  39. Amós Batista
    Amós Batista
    May 11, 2023 at 1:18 pm | # | Reply

    I’ll gonna name this other guy as Bernard.

  40. Hof1991
    Hof1991
    May 11, 2023 at 1:29 pm | # | Reply

    Huzzah? Huzzah!!

  41. kaitou
    kaitou
    May 11, 2023 at 2:17 pm | # | Reply

    “Ambient Cheering Noises” is my new band name.

  42. HueSatLight
    HueSatLight
    May 11, 2023 at 6:02 pm | # | Reply

    prediction: Untagged cameo by Guns on the opposing team.

  43. shoopdawhoop
    shoopdawhoop
    May 11, 2023 at 7:00 pm | # | Reply

    There’s one rule

    SURVIVE

  44. Ymbrael
    Ymbrael
    May 11, 2023 at 7:28 pm | # | Reply

    Perhaps the most important thing about Roller Derby to know is that active play is officially referred to as JAM TIME.

  45. Hoop
    Hoop
    May 12, 2023 at 7:57 am | # | Reply

    113, huh? Heh.

  46. HoopsieDaisy
    HoopsieDaisy
    May 16, 2023 at 2:16 pm | # | Reply

    Come on, Danny. Roller Derby’s point-system is the easy part. It’s the fouls that are confusing as hell.

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