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Newspaper assignment

134 thoughts on “Newspaper assignment

  1. So she apparently has some kind of real lead now? XD

    Now the million dollar question is, who does she think Amazi-Girl is this time?

    A. Sal
    B. Amber
    C. Joyce
    D. None of the above

    *plays “Voting Bed” from The Weakest Link on hacked muzak*

    1. Well, the most obvious person is . . . Dina! DUN DUN DUNNNNN!

      1. Is Amazing? Check.

        Is Girl? Check.

        It’s a compelling argument.

        1. Maybe, but Dina is so very VERY amazing, she doesn’t NEED another identity to show it!

    2. Well it can’t be Sal unless Billy thinks Amazigirl is fighting crime in a wig (which, having cosplayed in a wig, seems inadvisable)

      1. Spinnerette fights crime in a mask/wig combination…

        1. As I recall, Babs/Batgirl also has fought crime in a wig.

        2. How did the crime get in the wig?

        3. Neocolonialism

        4. I didn’t know Sal was a neocolonist.

        5. Michael Steamweed

          Be gay. Do crimes. In a wig.

        6. I don’t recall if Barbara has (at least in current continuity) but Kate Kane as Batwoman definitely has. She cuts her hair short and wears a wig.

        7. Black Canary used to wear a blonde wig.

        8. that’s a name I haven’t heard in a while

    3. I thought she thought AG was sal and we knew that?

    4. Carla (skates, batman-level financing)

      1. Carla would be too good at being Amazigirl though, AG doesn’t get enough solved… also AG has Wolveriene height issues. ~<3

        1. Carla would be easy to spot. On rollerblades

        2. that just makes the deception more awesome. ~<3

      2. Where does she get all those wonderful toys?

        1. From Sarah, who gets them from her grandmother.

    5. E. Joyce Lynne

      Her well-connected snooping is paying off big time.

    6. She has consitently believed that amazi-girl is sal, and has never had any reason to doubt it, other than people outright telling her that it isn’t true. She’s never seen proof one way or another, and believes she has concrete proof that it’s sal.

    7. Honestly I’m gonna put money on Dorothy.

    8. Someone they both know? It’s obvious.

      It’s Joe.

    9. Historically she thought it was Sal, but I’m putting my bets on her thinking Dorothy is Amazi girl now.

      1. Was just about to say– the foreshadowing couldn’t be more obvious.

    10. It’s got to be Red Herring.

      1. He would have gotten away with it, too.

    11. “Look, the clues all add up. Amazi-Girl is a superhero. I’m a crusading reporter in glasses. Clearly I’m Amazi-Girl!”

  2. ok, it’s a little obvious that’s not Amazi-Girl

    unless Jennifer has a clue we don’t know about

    1. doesn’t she still think it’s Dorothy? ~<3

  3. Sal has some explaining to do.

  4. also, unrelated, but woe is us. It’s december now. Mariah Carey is free. She coming.

    1. The radio station where I work started flavouring it’s usual playlist with Christmas songs 19 days ago. One American thing I’d love over here in Britain is Thanksgiving, if only to hold back the Christmas tide for just a little bit.

      1. Weused to have Advent….

      2. I am in Canada this year and after Halloween it was just relentless.

        1. Two months of Halloween and nobody bats an eye.

          Two months of Christmas and everyone loses their minds.

        2. There’s nothing for Hallowe’en to intrude into, way back to Labor Day which is pretty low-key. But starting at the end of October there’s a pile-up of big-spending holidays (so the stores hype them until the juice is all squeezed out, and beyond).

          Then in winter, just when we need something to get excited about, there’s nearly nothing for months. We need to redistribute some holidays for more even wear. Maybe in an era of such abundance we should move Thanksgiving to 01-March when we need to be reminded that we have things to be thankful for.

          There’s Valentine’s Day, but that’s quiet and personal no matter how many ad.s insist that you really need to buy your brand-new SO a Lamborghini.

        3. No, it’s a diamond bauble the price of a Lambo for Singles Shaming Day

      3. They can play wall-to-wall Christmas music if they must, but I refuse to hear it until after Beethoven’s Birthday.

        1. Did Beethoven have his picture on a bubble gum card? How can you say someone’s so great if they didn’t get their picture on a bubble gum card?

      4. If only that worked in the US. I saw Christmas decorations November 1st. Can wevput forward legislation that holiday music can’t be played more than 30:days before the holiday with a 60 day blackout preceding that to have proper separations of holidaies.

      5. “IIIIT’S CHRIIIISTMAAAS!” No, Noddy, it really isn’t.

        On the plus side, given that I seem to be playing Whamageddon whether I want to or not, because someone told me about it and now it’s in my head, the sooner Christmas music starts, the sooner I can say “Okay, I’ve lost” and stop thinking about it.

    2. Sorry, Mariah Season begins on Nov 1st, and this is in fact the third year in a row of this phenomenon. She has been rampant for a month this year already. Please enjoy the video memes she released on Nov 1st for each of the years in question.
      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Jl1xPlPce3I
      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sVgbO9vuehI
      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XpSdD63j7Y4

      1. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS THAT I DID NOT HIDE A RICKROLL AMONG THEM.

        1. WHAT WOULD IT REQUIRE TO HAVE MARIAH SING NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP?

      2. It’s actually 5 years. Here’s the whole shebang. Watch at your own risk.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2T19C7Qc984

        1. You know, I’m just going to assume that both of those are Rickrolls and go on with my life.

    3. The form of the Destructor has been chosen!

  5. “We need more pictures of Spider-Man Amazi-Girl!”

  6. “You know it was me all along”

    Maybe Dorothy wants to become Amazi-Girl?

    1. Doesn’t everybody, deep inside?

      Maybe Amazi-Girl was the friends we made along the way!

  7. clearly it’s ninja rick

    it was always ninja rick

  8. Other Rachel. Her appearance from the elevator was foreshadowing.

    1. Chekhov’s Rachel. I like it.

  9. And here I thought the storyline was only about Dorothy getting out of the closet

  10. Somehow, Jennifer ends up comparing a picture of AG’s boobs to a picture of Sal’s boobs, and this is the only thing that convinces her that Sal is not AG.

    1. Stuffed bra, clearly 😛

    2. I was about to say she thinks it’s Dorothy, but given the previous comic, you’re right, she’s disqualified.

    3. She shows a stealthy photo of Sal to Daisy who immediately identifies their two different bra sizes

    4. Jen just fuming over a Pepe Silvia board covered with everyone’s titty pics.

    5. That, or Sal has an inflatable chest.

      I’m pretty sure Sal has an inflatable chest.

      … at least, until her smoking manages to murder her lungs.

    6. Until someone points out AG is many skin tones lighter than Sal. And no makeup rubs off of her in fights. And that Sal and AG have been seen fighting the same people together.

      1. The skin tone thing was already pointed out to Jennifer. She ignored it.

  11. GOD I need the laugh I get whenever I remember Jennifer thinks Sal is AG.

    1. That’s what she wants us to think. She’s just deflecting suspicion.

      Actually Jennifer is AmaziGirl.

      1. Impossible. It’s well known that Jennifer is Mike.

  12. Hey 1 out of 2, not bad for Jennifer perception standards.

  13. Wait, didn’t Jennifer learn who Amazi was?

    1. Nope but she think she did.

    2. Jennifer has managed not to learn who AG really is despite being told who AG really is. She’s impressive like that.

      1. I am like 75% sure Amazigirl could show up, do a bunch of crazy strong and acrobatic stuff so there’s no doubt that it’s really her, then take off her mask in front of her, and Jennifer would still somehow not realize who AG is

    3. Evidently not!

  14. One of them knows who it is but silly Dorothy thinks it’s Amber.

  15. Didn’t Jennifer literally see Amber playing Amazi-Girl, and say “nope”?

    Yep. Halloween:
    https://www.dumbingofage.com/doesnt/

  16. This time Jennifer thinks it’s herself suffering dissociative episodes. This does not line up in any way with observable reality but is still her best theory

  17. Lol she still thimks it’s sal, doesn’t she lol

  18. Jennifer’s ego is large enough where she might think she’s secretly Amazi-girl as her own second personality.

  19. She 100% still thinks it’s Sal.

  20. Jennifer…is never going to be a good journalist is she…

    1. It’s more likely than her learning to be a good Girlfriend.

      1. I dunno she sometimes makes attempts to be good in the girlfriend category (before regressing), not so much with her chosen field.

    2. I can see her delivering a news package with a voiceover that’s unequivocally debunked by its accompanying video.

    3. Being a good journalist was never a requirement. Jennifer may well become a successful journalist.

    4. She’s not going to be a good anything until she stops drowning herself in totally unearned confidence.

      1. I don’t know, that and having a lot of money seem to be able to get you up to the presidency.

        1. Not if you’re a woman. Especially if you’re not white.

  21. Dorothy in panel 5: oh right, we’re still doing this.

  22. I mean… Sal WAS there.

  23. How did you ever hoped to be a politician when you are do bad at denying accusations Dotty?

    1. Step 1: Go to college.
      Step 2: ?????
      Step 3: Profit Become President and solve everyone’s problems.

      Simple!

      1. At the risk of being RL, Dorothy seems like someone who comes from a very pre-2016 world of expectations as to how one becomes President.

        1. One might even say a 2010 world of expectations.

  24. She still doesn’t know? 😛

  25. “You mean Santa?”

  26. Ok this can only mean:
    1. Jennifer really does know, and says the name of Amber O’Malley or
    2. Jennifer is wrong again and the gag is extended indefinitely

    1. She figures out that it’s Amber and then Walky sets up an elaborate plan to have Amber and AG appear at the same time. Not because the secret needs to be kept, just to mess with Jennifer. Of course, the fake AG kisses either Daisy or Jennifer because that’s just in the rules.

      1. Walky recruits Sierra.

        Somehow this works.

        Possibly, in large part, because Daisy’s libido overrides reality. She is the vibe of heaven.

  27. Sal’s not here, man.

  28. well jennifer’s right about one of these things
    new personal best?

  29. Wait, has Sal ever been seen at Maxwell Hall?

    1. Daisy clearly had a report of it.

  30. Didn’t Walky flat out tell Jennifer that Amber = Amizi-Girl after the kidnapping? I could have sworn they had a whole conversation about it.

    1. Pfft. Walky never gets anything right.

      Sal rides a motorcycle, climbs buildings and can handle herself in a fight.
      Amber spends all her time playing video games and the one time she was cornered by someone violent she panicked and sliced him to small pieces with a knife (or a phone – reports vary) whereas Amazigirl never uses weapons. Clearly the wrong M.O.

      It’s got to be Sal.

  31. You know what I just realized. Why doesn’t Daisy already know who Amazi-girl is? Didn’t Amber reveal herself on the local news? For that matter wasn’t the kidnapping itself rather high profile at least at the local level? Daisy is assumedly a credible/competent journalist to be in charge of the school paper right? Is Daisy just too horny to pay even the slightest attention to local current events? I kinda feel bad for Jen now.

    1. No. Amber didn’t reveal herself on the news. The kidnapping itself was high profile, but they worked out a cover story for her identity

      https://www.dumbingofage.com/2020/comic/book-10/04-is-a-song-forever/whatnow/

      1. I did misremember some things. I knew Walky told Jen but I forgot they apparently lied to the news about it thanks.

        Also I know this doesn’t matter, but I like adding to the trend of saying I accidentally flagged your comment when it takes more than a few slip ups to actually register. Sorry for that.

    2. I think I’ve misremembered some of this. Rereading it and the incident was reported and Becky announced it on social media. While Amber did reveal herself in public, it’s unclear how many were around to see it. Still kinda feels like this should take the least amount of mental effort to discover who AG is. We can decide if this reflects worse on Daisy or Jen’s level of awareness.

  32. Clearly Amazigirl is the slender brown skinned girl with long black hair and a motorcycle, rather than a short and curvy white chick.

    1. Now you’re getting it.

  33. Jennifer thinks it’s DOROTHY.

  34. She still thinks AG is Sal, doesn’t she? Or maybe throw a curveball and say she has a new lead, like Other Rachel.

  35. Billie Jennifer thinks Dorothy is Amazi-girl. Look at the 2nd pannel.

  36. AG is one of the rarely/never seen other girls on the floor. Siobhan storyline incoming.

  37. Let’s hope this will be the arc where Jennifer finally wake up.

  38. And after unmasking Amazi-Girl, Jennifer is going to reveal Infowars is not real news! Get with the times, Miss Journalism Major

    1. I mean, what exactly is the story here? Someone “wearing an Amazi-Girl style outfit” was seen standing on a roof? This is news? It’s not like you can connect this individual to the violent vigilante that was running around six months back or anything – her weirdly effective disguise does have the effect of deniability. Jennifer trying to look like a serious journalist in the last panel immediately puts this in like, top ten annoying moments from her.

      1. Under late capitalism, it seems real news is an increasingly scarce commodity 0-0

      2. It is real news for a college newspaper.

      3. If that’s all you’ve got, then it’s not much of a story. If your reporter can actually talk to her and find if she’s at least claiming to be the same person and why she vanished and if she’s going to be active again, then you’ve got an actual story. At least for the college audience that would care about a local superhero.

        Mostly of course, it’s catering to Daisy’s fetish. If AG is back, she wants pictures. (For the newspaper, really.)

  39. Jennifer is living with some hardcore reality blindness about AG

  40. I always think its interesting that Jennifers fixation on Sal being Amazi-Girl has like. Two interesting main facets. One is that she Has Decided She’s Right, and she’s incredibly bad at ever backing down from Being Right. She has confidence that rockets her right off cliffs.

    And on the other hand: I do always feel like some part of it is her attraction to Sal. Sal is cool- genuinely effortlessly ‘Cool’. She was also put at a remove during their high school years. She smokes, she has a leather jacket. Where Jennifers high school cheerleader cred gets her nothing at college, Sal is still Sal. I feel like to her she just kind of went ‘well shes the only person I know who COULD be That Cool’, you know?

    I think if someone told her to her face Amber was Amazi-Girl she’d laugh it off.

    1. Someone did tell her to her face, but it was Walky and here we are.

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